9.5 Months Out & Down 136 lbs. (A Belated Update from 4/28/09)

May 25, 2009

Every day I continue to be amazed at how drastically my life has changed in such a short period of time. While Gastric Bypass Surgery has not solved every challenge in my life, it has truly given me my life back in so many ways. If I had to sum up in one word why I’m grateful to have gone through this experience, it would be HOPE.

I can remember a time in my life while I was suffering with tremendous back pain, as well as obesity, when I literally felt I had no hope for my future. It was all I could do to just make it through the day, let alone dream of what the future might hold... I truly could not see a light at the end of the tunnel when I would be able to go through a day without significant pain, without feeling low self worth because I couldn’t seem to lose weight and keep it off, or even consider the possibility of having the children that both my husband and I desperately wanted. When you get into this cycle of hurting, depression, and inability to exercise to make the first two better, life sometimes does feel hopeless. It has taken many years, a back surgery, gallbladder surgery, therapy, and gastric bypass surgery, for me to get to the place I am now, but I truly am grateful for these experiences, because I have been slowly refined and conquered obstacles that I once thought to be insurmountable.

When I stop and think about all of the positive changes that have taken place since beginning this journey, it compounds my gratitude for life, and increases my hope for a better, richer future. This is just a small sample of the many lessons I’ve learned, and milestones I’ve achieved, over the past 9+ months:

• I have confidence that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to
• I truly appreciate what feeling healthy means
• I no longer feel hungry all the time
• I want to experience life to the fullest
• I now have the ability to exercise, where I physically could not before losing this weight
• I feel more mentally, emotionally and spiritually healthy
• I live relatively pain free now, which was something I once only dreamed of
• I am no longer ashamed of my appearance
• I’m not afraid to be photographed anymore – in fact, I kind of enjoy it!
• I no longer worry that I won’t fit into a booth at a restaurant, or that I’ll break a chair because of my weight
• I no longer have to use the handicapped stall in a public restroom because I can now fit in a “normal” stall
• I no longer have to ask for a seat belt extender on an airplane, or worry that I won’t fit into my seat without infringing upon the space of the person next to me
• I can fit on amusement park rides without fear that I will be asked to exit the ride, as other guests watch my humiliation
• I can sleep at night without a CPAP machine
• I can cross my legs again
• I can sing better. My lung capacity has increased, and I’m able to support my breathing better.
• I can sit on the ground or get back up without my knees and legs being in excruciating pain
• I can go shopping and not be so concerned about getting the closest parking spot, because I can now make the walk more easily
• I no longer have to take medication for acid reflux, PCOS, or chronic pain
• I can now walk a flight (or more) of stairs and not think twice about being out of breath
• I now have a slender neck, only one chin, and can see my collar bone!
• I am now able to buy clothes in more of the normal size clothing stores. I currently wear a 14/16, rather than a 34/36 or a 5X.
• I have severed all ties with my larger sized clothes, because I know I will never need them again! (No more hanging on to them “just in case”…)
• I can walk with my head held high because I have more confidence and self-worth. I deserve to be healthy, happy and successful, and there is no one who can make me feel otherwise.

If there is anyone reading this who wonders if weight loss surgery is right for them, I would offer the following advice:

• Make sure that you are willing and ready to make both the physical and emotional changes that are necessary for your long-term success. This is not a decision to be made lightly.
• Follow your doctor’s advice implicitly, and invest the time in learning everything you can before having surgery. Do your homework!
• Never stay too far away from personal accountability. Go to regular support group meetings, and surround yourself with people who are willing to walk along-side you through this journey. It is not an easy one, but it is definitely worth the investment in yourself.
• Know that you will likely need to participate in more than just monthly support group meetings. Going to counseling does not make you “less than” anyone else – It just means you need a little more refining to become the person you know you were always meant to be.
• This surgery is a tool – not a cure. Be willing to use this tool to attain your long term health goals, then work hard to maintain your success.

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