Socgirl218

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

This weekend was wonderful and torturous at the same time.The weekend started with a cook out on Friday. Of course I didn't go for the food, as I can't eat it. The fellowship was incredible, but I was surrounded by foods that I LOVE and my mind was saying, Go ahead and try a little. Thankfully, I was surrounded by friends that were aware of my situation so I had accountability. On Saturday my sister-in-law and nephews and nieces came to visit. The visiting was amazing, as always. I love them all tremendously and  wanting to be around for them and be able to play with them is part of the reason I decided to have surgery. But with the kids also came kid snacks and fast food. I am happy to say that I made it through without ruining my "diet", but it was definitely a test of strength and determination!!!

   Today marks one week since the life-altering surgery took place. I feel like an emotional basket case. I was so excited about my future during the days and weeks that preceded the surgery. I looked forward to the future with a renewed sense of hope. After much prayer and wise counsel, I whole heartedly believed that I was making the right decision for my health and my future. Today, I still believe that I made the right decision, but I am also realizing just how powerful the strong hold food was in my life. I feel as though I have lost my best friend. Albeit, a friend that was doing more harm than good. I shrieked with joy as I stepped on the scale and realized I have lost a total of 26 lbs. since I began my pre-op diet. But that joy is quickly replaced by remorse as I see a food commercial on TV (I never realized how many of them there are). I long to taste something that isn't artificially sweetened. I am looking forward to my partial egg in the morning before my followup appt. I have to keep reminding myself that better days are ahead and the health benefits and feelings of self worth will all be worth it!!
For now, I am looking forward to being released to drive again... I am going crazy being at home!!!