wanting ps cant afford ps.

Feb 19, 2012

Well, i have been wanting my ps for about a two years now, i was working untill feb 2011. And when i was working and had not become a mother got prego oct 2010 had baby july 2011. I could have had the ps done. I had the money in my retirement to do it with. andi could have went out of the country (mexico) to get it done. But i kept putting it off due to what people would say when i had the plastic surgery done. I was feeling ashamed for wanting to be my best. to look my best. i was feeling as if i was being very vain and should be happy with how i looked currently. I would look at clothes and pants and just feel bad. Phrases like these kept creeping up in my mind. " I am only in a size 14 cause of the over hang of skin and residual fat that was left. I am only in an 1x or xl or 2x due to the fact that i dont like my shirts to cling and show my fat rolls and left over skin. I was happy but sad at the same time. i wanted to be sexier.. I wanted to rock high heels on court days and show off a new trim curvy physique. I wanted fat grafting to my derrier due to i lost it all when i had the wls. And i wanted to be able to show it off. Is this wrong of me wanting to finally feel pretty and beautiful something i didnt feel all through out highschool and college? The regret of being able to do the ps and not getting it done when i had the money ( had to use retirment to live off and for medical for baby untill she got here.) Any Suggestions? Open to constructive criticism.
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LIFE UPDATE

Jan 02, 2011

Hello OH,

Its been ages since i have been on my page on here and have been posting and active. Life has become very busy. Ifound out on veterans day 2010 that i was Pregnant. Unbelieveable due to when i was 19 i was told i woudl never have kids because of PCOS.  well here i am at about 14 weeks along now just not believing the blessing bestowed upon me. It was a crazy story that i laugh about when i tell my friends. I am scared now due to all the financial things that come along with having a baby. I just pray that God will guide and direct me throughthis.
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7 months out

Mar 02, 2009

Well, lets see, so far i have lost 102 lbs.  I started at 320 now im down to 218. I had somemoments i was kinda upping my carbs and such.. because i had lost so much. i started to feel way to skinny. (if that is an option lol) but i was really comfortable at 220. on my body. medically i am suppsed to be no larger than 180.. but that has to be on someone that is shorter than my 5ft 9 inches. cause on me... 218 looks sexy and great( but here is the kicker) i have about 10 to 15 lbs of extra skin. My tummy keeps me buying size 18's but i would be in a size 12/14 ( i have tried various jeans and pants. and the excess skin keeps me from buttoning them. but when i move the skin out of the way( push it up) Voila!!! the 14's and some size 12's fit great!. OH to the ladies. the Kymaro body shaper.. ( this thing rocks like you would not belive. ok it hides the bulges from excess skin that shiver and quiver when you walk.. you know. And make your outfits look way better.

Side note. I have never seen my figure in my life. i have spent hours laying naked in my bed on my sides.. feeing my body( i know it may sound a little lewd gross what ever) but its amazing. i realize i have one hell of an indention between my ribs and my pelvis. (aka great flare out of hips) but i haev to get some more padding for my tush.. ( does anyone else tush hurts after sitting on hard chairs for a few minutes) Well i know i have not been on this site in ages and that is my fault. i hate that i dont have any pics posted of my weight loss but i am kinda coming in to things that look good on me and such. plus i need a few disposable camera's and some nice areas to take pictures at lol..And its really cold here now and snowing. we got 3 to 5 inches of snow last night.. brrrr! 
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cant seem to get moving :(

Aug 26, 2008

Ok  i am sitting here and i cant seem to get myself moving to exercise. i am having trouble getting started like something is blocking me from doing it. the desire the drive to do it or something. the most time i get to walking is when i have to drive some where and go buy something. ( i .e shopping) there is a mall right around the corner from me and i may go there and go walking. not for sure. help any advice would be beneficial. thanks.
and to all my oh friends. i am doing ok trying to remember to do these vitamins. i have this calcium citrate pill but its so freaking big ahhh i hate it and the taste.. well i have had bad food that taste's better than this big thing. if you have any suggestions on that and on some iron a high milligram iron for me to take please email me. thanks


I have a date!!!!

Jul 09, 2008



I have a date!  i called my doctor's office ( Dr. Moran!) and spoke with MIss Anne at the office. I stated to her that i belive i have completed all the specialist visits that i needed to do so that my information could be submitted to my insurance bcbs of north carolina. She stated that she would pull my file and research it and get back with me. 
     Not even 20 minutes later she calls me back and tells me that everything is completed and she needs to get a surgery date for me.  the date she gave me was July 23 ( which is the 1 year anniversary of the day i started my job i am at now). I was like well that is kinda soon( i know i know i been waiting for ever to get here now it looks like im running away. ) I stated to Miss Anne that i wanted to get a nother paycheck under my belt before i went in for surgery. ( so that i can get all the stuff i needed to kick off this surgery aka grocery shopping if you will by the way if anyone knows of a good liquid protein different flavors or any thing drop me an email on here thanks!) calcium pills, iron pills, you know all the stuff to start off the liquid diet. the low sodium chicken broth ( or sodium free if there is any)  so we decided on August 13! ( surgery date is 14th actually) I am so excited and so nervous. ( the catheder thingy scares meto no end. i was freaking on this part. )  


moving workout

Jun 29, 2008

HEY ALL!

Well, i am in the process of moving from one city to another here in nc.  Yesterday i moved my mirrored dresser, chest, and some more heavy stuff down from the third floor  to the ground level of my apt. wow my body this morning is aching and throbbing and sore and all thee above lol. but it was a good work out. i sweated quite nicely that day up and down 3 flights of stairs . i am proud of me! i am looking forward to my nutirition appointment on tuesday. but its pricey i am going to see if i can get it covered by insurance.

What i would like to do once...

Apr 06, 2008

well i guess this is some of the things i would like to do once i have lost the weight...


Weigh less than 300lbs >>>>>> done i weigh 215 right now
Wear sexy high heels and it not make my legs feel like i am about to have a charlie horse >>>>>> done and lovin it
Take belly dancing lessons>>>>>>> does doing the shimmy work out on the tv count
Walk up the stairs to my apt  without feeling like I’m gonna die>>>> done
Wear a bathing suit in private in public.>>> once iget rid of this extra tummy skin... done
Experience sex in creative places and positions>>>>cowgirl is amazing.
Flash someone ( lol i know this could get me arrested just humor me here lol) >>>>> maybe next year lol..
Go to a Spa for a Day treatment
Take salsa dancing lessons
Wear clothes from Fredericks of Hollywood - i want to start a lingerie collection ( i like cute girly sexy frilly things and i like to play dress up sue me lmaooooo!)
be able to run/jog
I want to beable to walk in the March of Dimes walk-a-thon that my sorority ( ZETA PHI BETA) participates in every year in Research Triangle Park, NC and not have my back cramp up and lock up on me( its a 3 mile walk)
Weigh less than 200lbs
Learn to Swim
Learn capoeira

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Fustration

Apr 06, 2008

Aaahhhh ! Ok, i need to blog this out so i can exhale and breathe again. I am fustrated. I am trying to get all the necessary doctor's appointments and testing done so that i can get a surgery date. I have to have an alterior blood gasses test done. The last time i went to get it done It took 4 profesional respiration therapy people and a student to try and get the blood for this test and none were successful. I am a hard stick they say.  I almost fainted twice. ( i guess it does not help that i am about as scared of needles as snoop dogg on his father hood show).  Ok i had the gi test done where they put you to sleep and numb your throat with that God-awful hideous spray and slide the camera tube done your throat to see any thing worth fixing while during surgery. All i was told was to take prilosec by the doctor. So i guess its light to nothing as far as gerd and acid reflux.  well i went to my physician recently and got my weight and my check up for the year. Not much to tell there.  I have to have a pulmonary type test done i have to reschedule it. I have had an ultrasound ( bad experience there with rex hosptial and their staff. i understand that i am obese but i do keep my body clean and looking good. but to tell your coworkers that you were grossed out. That is highly offensive to me i reported them to the hospital the lady even calle dme back a month later after we spoke by phone and she is telling me that i misheard what was being said. so the ultrasound folks are bulls***** their way out of it. I didn't even return her phone call when she called me with the results of the investigation. I dont even want to know.
i have yet to meet with the nutritionist for this path to surgery or meet with the mental health person. And this is all due to the fact that i work for the state of nc and we get paid once a month. so i have to budget out my money as best as i can. I am actually looking for a part time job. so that i can help offset some of my finances.  I want to get this surgery done and over but  then i am still a tiny bit scared. and i believe i am scared of success. I should be exercising but i am not doing it. I even bought the turbo jam series but it is sitting on my shelf like everything else lol. Maybe tomorrow.

About Me
Location
30.1
BMI
RNY
Surgery
08/13/2008
Surgery Date
Feb 16, 2008
Member Since

Friends 32

Latest Blog 8
cant seem to get moving :(
I have a date!!!!
moving workout
Fustration

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