songofjoy63
My surgery date was September 15, 2009. I was really surprised about how little pain there was. I am also surprised today about how sick at my stomach I stay. I am hoping this will pass because it is enough to drive a person nuts. I have lost around 30 pounds since surgery. Still not getting in the water I should or the protein shakes but tomorrow is another day and just do the best I can.
I posted the above almost a year ago and cannot hardly believe how much my life has changed. The reason I was so sick at my stomach which by the way got worse to the point I found myself in the hospital for nine days- was due to a ulcer developing at my surgery site. I was so very sick by the time I was put in the hospital but by the time I left I felt like I was going to be ok which for about 3 weeks I truly did not think I had made a good decision but today I know that I did.
In May, I attended our local Relay For LIfe event and walked everywhere. What was so surprising was I didn't even have to think about if I would tire out, if there would be somewhere to sit- just able to enjoy the event and to move around. I never realized what having so much extra weight was robbing me of-- well I thought I knew but it hasn't been until lately that I really understood what I had done to myself. I finally accept that I did it--no one put the food to my mouth I did it and I used many excuses for doing it some I still use. Stress for example- while grabbing a cookie distracts for a minute it does not remove the stress in fact it adds to it maybe not at the moment but when it comes times to weight in, look in the mirror and so on.
I would love to be able to say I love myself 100% again but I am not quite there. There is still healing I need in my life but I know today in time it will happen. Weight was just one obstacles what lead to it being there is a bunch of stones that I have held on to instead of just letting go- most are memories of not so good things in life and learning to let go has been hard but it is a lesson worth learning.
I gain a few pounds back and in a way I am glad I did because it was a wake up call that weight loss surgery is a tool not a quick fix and I still had work to do. I am kind of proud of myself for recognizing I need to take action now to correct this- that alone says I can have a life free of excess weight if I just stay in tune with what is happening in my life and with my body and not check out on my self and just let what ever happens happen. I love life and that alone is a statement I never thought I would say again.
I thank God for his mercy and bring me to this place and know with his help that I will be able to help others find and love themselves again too.
