Geri B.

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weight 150 - and staying there for what seems forever

I've uploaded some recent photos - new business suit and a gathering in St. Louis of some fellow WLSers.  Love to do those things.  We did a murder mystery dinner this time. Lots of fun!

Catching up -  

I'm still unemployed, but now, I'm waiting for a background check clearance to begin my new career.  I'm going to be working in a prison, transitioning inmates through counseling and job placement that are getting ready to get out.  FINALLY changing career fields to something more in my field of study.  

Speaking of study, I am now working on my BA in psychology/counseling through University of Illinois.  TOUGH TOUGH TOUGH program, but well worth it.  

As soon as I know for sure I've passed this clearance for the job, I will be moving out from my marriage into my own appartment - one daughter and one son will move with me, the rest are moving to their respective universities.  After I get settled in, we will divorce - very amicably - we are still friends, just don't have the marital relationship anymore.  We agreed to this finally at Christmas and it's been pleasant ever since.  He does his thing, I do mine.

Weight has stopped dropping off for many reasons.  After losing my job, I went from super active to sitting in front of this computer all the time.  I went through a bout of depression of sorts due to the job loss, the stress of the holidays, the impending divorce, etc etc etc.  It's also a time that my body has taken to catch up with itself. My loose skin is firming up, I'm losing more inches in the proper places, I don't look near as gaunt anymore, my hair is healthier than it's ever been.  Soooooo, not too worried about it.  It will start dropping again when my body is ready for it.

I've joined a new site called SparkPeople where I can log my food and track my exercising and track my fluids and vitamins.  It's such a help to really keep me accountable for what I eat and soo easy to do.  Even when I screw up a day, I log it so that I can tell where the problem spots or triggers are.

I'm getting roughly 100-120 grms of protein per day, keeping my carbs under 50/day and my fats under 30-40/day, calories within the vicinity of 1000-1200/day,  3 liters of water a day, all my vitamins everyday and exercise almost everyday.  So, I'm doing all the right things, so the weight will fall in line when it's ready.  RIght now, I'm wearing a size 8 and that's getting loose. 

LIfe is good, very good.  I'm excited with my new body, my healthier mind, and my general outlook on life.  Everday is new and I'm grabbing every opportunity to live life to the fullest.  As a matter of fact, at the end of this month, for my birthday I'm going to fly for the first time in my life and take a trip to Vegas for the first time in my life.  And guess what?  I even bought a swim suit for it!!!!!

I LOVE going shopping now!! I've got TONS of clothes that are just absolutely adoreable!!! I can walk into the teen stores and buy right off the racks.  I can wear juniors sizes.  I wear sexy undergarments which I never did before.  I LOVE wearing dresses and skirt now - I have ANKLES for the first time in my LIFE!!!!  And, I've become somewhat of a camera- slut!  hee hee  LOVE getting my pix taken, if you haven't noticed by now!  I can shop all day in heels an do it everytime I go shopping!!  I have hooker boots that my son got me for Christmas that I LOVE to wear and shop all day in.  I LOVE getting looks - from men and women - when I walk into a restaurant, or the mall, or anywhere.  My kids tell me all the time - "No Mom! It's not a booger hanging out of your nose!!! Geesh, they think you're HOT!"  gotta love those kids!

Life is good - hope you're living it to the fullest!

weight 154

After my computer crashed a couple of months ago, I got it back w/ all my data missing and this was the one password I hadn't written down.  I didn't have time to try to figure it out w/ going to school full time and working full time.  Well, this week was finals.  So, I am officially graduated w/ my Associates of Arts in Psychology.  Made all A's!!! WOOOT!  However, the job didn't work out as well, got laid off at the end of November.  Happy Fing Holidays to me!  Oh well, it was a blessing in disguise.  I hated the people I worked with.  I've never known such mean back stabbing rumor mongering spiteful lying people in my life..... and that was on a GOOD day! lol.  The REAL bite about it was that I was going to file for divorce this month.  The marriage has continually gotten worse and worse.  Me and the kids are completely miserable and if DH was honest w/ himself, he is too.  Anyway, so here I am finally.  I'm signed up for taking my Bachelor's online w/ U of I through virtual campus.  It's really kind of cool.  Looking for work again.  And as soon as I find a job, will file for the divorce.  Life will suck financially, but it will be so much better in every other way.
So, here's my pics taken at 11 months.  My weightloss has slowed down tremendously, but the inches are just FALLING off.  I am now running 4 times a week and doing 75 crunches on the ab-lounger on those days, too.  
Things I can do now that I couldn't do before:
1. Run
2. Run up stairs
3. Ride in a power parachute
4. Wear a size 8 which is getting loose
5. Work full time and go  to school full time
6. Sit on my kids' laps
7. Wear my son's jeans
8. Sit in my tub w/ room for 2 more of me!
9. Clean my whole house w/out having to take a dozen breaks
10. Wear hooker boots
11. Wear heels all day
12. Go shopping all day in heels 
13. NO MORE KNEE PAIN

weight 165

15 lbs from my goal!  HOLY CRAP!  Life is really different now.  People see me now as skinny.  I am wearing a loose size 10 with a medium or small size shirt.  People that knew me pre-op don't recognize me anymore.  They walk right by and say nothing.  I find myself initially getting my feelings hurt and then very quickly having to remember that they don't recognize me.  Then, people that didn't know me before cannot believe that I was ever fat.  I am constantly having to show my before and during pics to prove myself.
One man was telling me about an incident where he had to deal w/ a fat lady and how he was so disgusted having to be around her, especially since she had "almost been as skinny as you" at one time.  Well, at that point, I pulled out my before and after pics and just let that asshole know that I was a "fat disgusting lady" at one time, too!  Shut him down quick!  And to think he was trying to hit on me, as if that kind of attitude would have ever had a chance!
That's something else.  I am constantly being hit on by men.  That's really hard because I won't do anything to hurt my husband even though our marriage is a divorce waiting to happen.  I always told him that if I would ever get to the point of needing to have an affair, I would break it off first because that's when you really know the relationship is over and I won't hurt another person like that.  Well, there's been an instance where I considered it.  I never did it, but I considered it.  I put a hault to the whole thing before it could even get started, though because I won't do that, but the idea is that I considered it and that says to me that there really isn't any feelings left for my husband.  It is time to end this before it becomes bad.  
The really bad thing about that is that most people, people that don't know us that well, are going to automatically assume that it's because I lost weight.  No one is going to realize that this marriage was doomed from the start because of all the baggage we both carried into it.  We were both pretending to be accepting of each other while inside we were really hoping the other would change.  We've had the discussion of divorce, I told him that we did so much better as friends and he agrees.  But, he won't let go and I can't just make him go until he's at the same point I am where he realizes it's the best thing.  He's a good guy, he really is, but we are just not good for each other.  I so wish he'd see that and be willing to let me go ammicably.
I'm making all A's in school.  It's kind of weird to be going to school with my kids.  I really love my abnormal psych class.  I'm currently writing a paper for the class that is becoming more therapeutic to me personally than anything else.  I'm for the first time in my life being able to make amends with my mom and some of the baggage we've carried of each other through the years.  I'm seeing her in a whole new light now that I'm having to face my past in such a way.  The paper is called  The Good, the Bad, the Ugly.  The idea is to write a little bit of each of those about your childhood, your adolescent years, your young adulthood, and then the near past.  As a person writes this paper, it brings out alot  of the old memories that are painful, that were held down, and make you face them physically as well as emotionally and mentally while processing them enough to make it understandable to someone that wasn't there.  In the process, I'm learning that so many things we so very different from what my perspective was.  That in looking back, I can realize as an adult just exactly why things happened the way they did and see those incidents from a more rational level.  It's a very good healing tool.
Well, there's lots that I could write, right now, but I have an exam to study for, so I'll stop for now.
Hope your all doing well!
HUGS!

weight 169

DH and I are going to be looking at another anniversary here in a couple of days. With the emotional roller coaster I've been on and all the stress of everything, my children keep telling me I need to have a little fun once in a while. You know the old saying, all work and no play............. Well, they obviously think I'm all work. So, DS decided to give me an anniversary present. It was actually a gift for both me and DH as we both got to experience this, but was really intended for my benefit as I've always wanted to and never had an opportunity to. So, this evening, I was whisked away from my studies, ranting and raving about not having time for this stuff, and taken to the local airport where my son had bought me a 30 minute paragliding ride. I've NEVER flown before, have always been really freaked over being up too high w/ nothing solid to put my feet on. We pulled up (with my son verifying w/ me that I had my will made out and that he was the beneficiary of my life insurance policy - lol) and I saw the machine there and of coursed FREAKED! I"M NOT GOING ON THAT!!!
Well, I have to tell ya all, that was the single most FREEING experience I've ever had. Absolutely the most awesome and spectacular present I've ever received.
It was ironic that DH and I both got to do this, so we each got to enjoy the fun, but it is made for only the pilot and one other person at a time. So, I got to experience the sense of freedom to fly on my own w/out anyone but me and the birds. I didn't want to take the enjoyment away from DH, but w/ our marriage in the state it's in, "celebrating" was the last thing on my mind. However, the sensation that little 30 minutes provided was awe inspiring.
One year ago, I would have NEVER considered it and NEVER believed I could do it. Always wanted to, but never could have.
Now, I'm REALLY FLYING!!! SOARING in the HEAVENS!

weight 170

Just wanted to update you all on the saga of Geri's life. it does go on.
So, the pain I posted early in the week about, thought it was a bladder/kidney/urinary tract infection due to dehydration. Well, guess what folks, that WAS NOT it. After missing 2 days of work, getting poked to death for blood and injections for CAT scans, they've decided that 2 things are going on.
1st - no kidney stones, gall bladder issue, kidney/bladder blah blah blah. They believe that my intestines are moving too much in my abdominal cavity because of the rapid weightloss and my body not adjusting as fast as the weight comes off. So, as they're freely moving around in the cavity, they are also freely moving in and out of the small perforations in the membrane that holds them in place (put there at surgery). Eventually, it will stop as my body adjusts. Hmmmm........... Not sure I buy that, but OK.
2nd - my iron was too low and I need to start supplementing that and vitamins E and D. This supposedly is part one of the whole reason for my feeling drained and lack of energy.
3rd - believe it or not, after having to have been taking 3 High Blood Pressure meds pre-op, I now have too LOW of blood pressure, for which there is no med to help. This is a good thing and not so good thing all in one.
The fact that my BP was so low at that time was kind of amazing because that morning I had just found out that my favorite uncle whom I'm very close to passed away. I got the call while at work, in the middle of a major blow out w/ the staff of my office. Whole nother story that's not even worth getting into. This all going on in the week of all these medical tests and the same week I had 3 exams! Can you say STRESS!?! But, my BP was low, go figure.
The funeral was this afternoon. It was really nice, my son and I had put together a list of his favorite songs and put it together w/ a pictoral display of all the pics I had of him through the years. My son (the communications engineer major) put this altogether on his laptop (display the picture show) hooked up to a sound system playing the songs. It was so nice, everyone just cried and loved it.
I got to see much of my family I haven't seen since pre-op, and WOW, I got SOOOOOOO many compliments of how well I look and this surgery has done wonders for me. I even got told I look 21 again! hee hee My uncle would have just grinned and gave me a squeeze saying ,"Yup, babe, yur lookin good, you hot lil mama!" lol, Lord I love that man. I'm going to miss him.
I did well on my exams, schools going good, even though it's a rough schedule and hard to keep up. But, I'm loving it.
What a life, what a world.
My best advice to all of you, the best thing that I could share with you all, my friends......................
Live life to the fullest every single day. Dance your dance, whatever it may be. Tell people you love them, never regret the should haves and could haves. My uncle died at the age of 54.

weight 172

WOw, what a trip.  Spent 2 days and 2 nights camping.  Came home this morning feeling great.  Day one went hiking - 6 MILES!!!!! can you believe it?!?!?!  Day 2 went biking.  Not as great.  Only did 10 miles in the hottest part of the day.  My bike wasn't adjusted properly and I have no ass, so therefore no cushion on my butt bones OR my pubic bones.  I have bruises on both now!  Whoda thunk it!  I actually wouldn't mind some of my tushie back.  Lost 5 lbs in 2 days.  I had so much protein on this trip it wasn't even funny.  We ate good, healthy and satisfying for everyone!  And it wasn't a struggle, it wasn't tempting.  I did allow myself some goodies as I very rarely ever eat the stuff, so I figured it couldn't hurt too bad.  As Susan Maria says, if your allowing yourself, your not cheating, it's much easier to maintain the goal and the determination when something is allowable and not something to feel bad about when it's done.
This was the first time I've biked that far in 25 yrs, and the hike, OMG was the greatest.  JUST LOVE that I can keep up w/ the rest now!

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