sophiesmom712
Not Losing But I Feel Like a Loser
Jul 27, 2011
Finally after much waiting and rescheduling, I had my first fill under fluoro about a week ago. It was a breeze. Unfortunately, the "perfect" restriction the surgeon says he achieved does not seem so perfect. The healthy things I want to eat get stuck. At almost every meal, I have to excuse myself to the bathroom to let something slide up and out. However, I have no trouble at all with the things I shouldn't eat (i.e. tortilla chips, ice cream, candy bars). I've lost a total of 27 pounds since my surgery on May 3, but I feel like a failure. I've been stuck at 25-27 pounds lost for weeks. I was really hoping the fill would help the weight come off but it hasn't. I feel no lessening of my appetite, and I'm learning to eat around the band by eating things I shouldn't or by eating half my meal then coming back and finishing it later when the first half has been digested. This is not how I wanted to live after going through what I had to go through to get my band! I don't want to eat the way I always did. But I'm discovering that I have developed some OCD habits regarding how and what I eat, and I feel like an addict now who is unsuccessfully trying to get the monkey off his back. I recently saw pics of myself at the beach in a swimsuit (taken June 2011), and I was horrified. I need to lose a ton of weight, and I need to do it now. After seeing how big I am right there in Kodachrome color, I realize my life is really in danger. I'm not just talking about my health, which is a huge concern. I'm also talking about how much of my life I've wasted and continue to waste being fat and unhappy. A life is a terrible thing to waste. I've got to get it under control now before I miss out on another year. I owe it to myself and my 18 month old daughter. I just don't know how to do that.
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First Post-op MD Visit
May 20, 2011
I had a good news/bad news kind of follow up visit with my surgeon yesterday. First, the good news. He lifted all the activity and diet restrictions, so I can basically eat what I want and can tolerate. He said I need to focus on getting solid lean proteins in order to feel full faster. I'm all for it. I've really missed chewing LOL. I'm excited to be able to go to the gym and lift weights, but I'm even more excited to be able to take my daughter to the pool. Hope it's sunny tomorrow!
Okay, now the bad news. Because of schedule problems, I'm not having my first fill until June 20th. That means I have regular hunger and very little restriction for the next 4-5 weeks. I'm going to have to be super careful so I don't gain back the 18 pounds I've lost so far. It's going to be tough!
On the bright side, maybe the Doomsday thing will actually happen, and I can scarf down a Twinkie before the earthquake swallows me up. Hahaha! Just a little joke.
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Okay, now the bad news. Because of schedule problems, I'm not having my first fill until June 20th. That means I have regular hunger and very little restriction for the next 4-5 weeks. I'm going to have to be super careful so I don't gain back the 18 pounds I've lost so far. It's going to be tough!
On the bright side, maybe the Doomsday thing will actually happen, and I can scarf down a Twinkie before the earthquake swallows me up. Hahaha! Just a little joke.
Newbie Post
May 17, 2011
Well this is my first blog post. As you can see, I need to do some work on my page to make it a little more interesting, but all in due time. For now, I'll just catch you guys up on my progress so far.
Two weeks ago, I was in the hospital getting my morning labs drawn and waiting to be discharged later that day. After being read the riot act for not drinking enough fluids, my doctor's PA agreed to let me go home. She made me promise I'd get at least 64 ozs of liquids a day. I can't really say I kept that promise, but I've done pretty good. I'd give myself a B-.
So here's how it's gone so far. 10 days of liquid diet pre-op. For the most part, I was compliant with that because I was afraid of surgical complications. I snapped on day 7 and ate some inappropriate stuff then got right back on track. About 3 weeks before surgery I had my gallbladder removed as a precaution in preparation for the LapBand surgery. It was a good trial run as to what to expect from laparoscopic surgery. The day before my LapBand placement, I had an IVC filter placed. That was worse than either of the two lap surgeries. I felt like I was standing on my head, and I had a full-on panic attack before they managed to get some drugs in me and knock me out. I'm not looking forward to having it removed and going through that again. The LapBand surgery itself was May 3, 2011. I rolled into the OR with tears streaming down my face. Even at the 11th hour, I still was scared to death. They knocked me out almost immediately. Thank goodness. I woke up a minute later (it seemed) in recovery, and I was thrilled to be out, awake, and not in any real pain. I happily dozed off and on until I was moved to my room.
When I got to my room, I was able to walk from the doorway to the bed. It was good to get up and walk. I was happy to know I could do it and not be in much pain. I had a morphine PCA for pain management, and I used it. Because of that, I never really had any issues with pain. Even after I went home, I took the pain meds for a couple of nights only (it made me too sleepy during the day), and then I was done with it. The day I was discharged, my husband had arranged for our 15 month-old daughter to stay with his aunt, and I basically took it easy. I took naps, I walked around the house, took more naps, drank some water, did more walking, and by that evening, I even did a little laundry. I was so happy to see my daughter when she came home that evening, but I cried over not being able to pick her up.
My doctor's post-op diet orders are as follows: 2 weeks of liquids, 2 weeks of pureed, 1 week of soft, and then regular foods with caution. By the end of the first week, I was already trying some soft stuff. After the first 3-4 days, I got SOOOO hungry. Fortunately, I didn't have any issues with getting food stuck in my band. Until this week. I tried some mashed potatoes. It seemed pretty safe to me, but dang if it didn't get stuck. I had to deal with a little slimy regurgitation, and I broke the cardinal rule about drinking while eating because it was so uncomfortable. I wanted to wash the stuckage through. Now I'm much more cautious about the things I eat, although I'd say some of what I eat still does not meet the criteria for liquid or pureed. It's just that bandster hell that everyone talks about. The swelling is gone, so I have very little restriction, and therefore I am hungry. I have lost 19 pounds so far, and I'm trying not to gain that weight back before I'm able to have my first fill. Fortunately, no matter what the consistency, I don't have to eat much before I start feeling full. Still, I need to do a whole lot better as far as complying with the LapBand "rules." Initially, I beat myself up for not following instructions verbatim. Now I realize I'm doing the best I can, and I'm taking it one day at a time. Once I can start getting fills and feeling some restriction, I know the weight will really start to come off.
Aside from the dietary adventures, I've also been going to the gym. I've never been a gym rat by any means, so it's a new experience for me to tell my husband, "Hey...I'm going to work out." Yesterday, I skipped the gym and took my daughter to the zoo. I did lots of walking there, up and down hills and pushing a stroller. Just a few weeks ago, I never would have done that. I would have told myself it is too much trouble to try and manage Sophie and all her paraphernalia all by myself. But I carried all her stuff and mine too, and I really had fun pushing her around and showing her the animals. My life is changing for the better already.
I took my last Lovenox shot a couple of days ago. I removed my last Steri-strips today. I have my first post-op appointment with my surgeon on Friday. I will update then if not before. Take care everyone!
0 comments
Two weeks ago, I was in the hospital getting my morning labs drawn and waiting to be discharged later that day. After being read the riot act for not drinking enough fluids, my doctor's PA agreed to let me go home. She made me promise I'd get at least 64 ozs of liquids a day. I can't really say I kept that promise, but I've done pretty good. I'd give myself a B-.
So here's how it's gone so far. 10 days of liquid diet pre-op. For the most part, I was compliant with that because I was afraid of surgical complications. I snapped on day 7 and ate some inappropriate stuff then got right back on track. About 3 weeks before surgery I had my gallbladder removed as a precaution in preparation for the LapBand surgery. It was a good trial run as to what to expect from laparoscopic surgery. The day before my LapBand placement, I had an IVC filter placed. That was worse than either of the two lap surgeries. I felt like I was standing on my head, and I had a full-on panic attack before they managed to get some drugs in me and knock me out. I'm not looking forward to having it removed and going through that again. The LapBand surgery itself was May 3, 2011. I rolled into the OR with tears streaming down my face. Even at the 11th hour, I still was scared to death. They knocked me out almost immediately. Thank goodness. I woke up a minute later (it seemed) in recovery, and I was thrilled to be out, awake, and not in any real pain. I happily dozed off and on until I was moved to my room.
When I got to my room, I was able to walk from the doorway to the bed. It was good to get up and walk. I was happy to know I could do it and not be in much pain. I had a morphine PCA for pain management, and I used it. Because of that, I never really had any issues with pain. Even after I went home, I took the pain meds for a couple of nights only (it made me too sleepy during the day), and then I was done with it. The day I was discharged, my husband had arranged for our 15 month-old daughter to stay with his aunt, and I basically took it easy. I took naps, I walked around the house, took more naps, drank some water, did more walking, and by that evening, I even did a little laundry. I was so happy to see my daughter when she came home that evening, but I cried over not being able to pick her up.
My doctor's post-op diet orders are as follows: 2 weeks of liquids, 2 weeks of pureed, 1 week of soft, and then regular foods with caution. By the end of the first week, I was already trying some soft stuff. After the first 3-4 days, I got SOOOO hungry. Fortunately, I didn't have any issues with getting food stuck in my band. Until this week. I tried some mashed potatoes. It seemed pretty safe to me, but dang if it didn't get stuck. I had to deal with a little slimy regurgitation, and I broke the cardinal rule about drinking while eating because it was so uncomfortable. I wanted to wash the stuckage through. Now I'm much more cautious about the things I eat, although I'd say some of what I eat still does not meet the criteria for liquid or pureed. It's just that bandster hell that everyone talks about. The swelling is gone, so I have very little restriction, and therefore I am hungry. I have lost 19 pounds so far, and I'm trying not to gain that weight back before I'm able to have my first fill. Fortunately, no matter what the consistency, I don't have to eat much before I start feeling full. Still, I need to do a whole lot better as far as complying with the LapBand "rules." Initially, I beat myself up for not following instructions verbatim. Now I realize I'm doing the best I can, and I'm taking it one day at a time. Once I can start getting fills and feeling some restriction, I know the weight will really start to come off.
Aside from the dietary adventures, I've also been going to the gym. I've never been a gym rat by any means, so it's a new experience for me to tell my husband, "Hey...I'm going to work out." Yesterday, I skipped the gym and took my daughter to the zoo. I did lots of walking there, up and down hills and pushing a stroller. Just a few weeks ago, I never would have done that. I would have told myself it is too much trouble to try and manage Sophie and all her paraphernalia all by myself. But I carried all her stuff and mine too, and I really had fun pushing her around and showing her the animals. My life is changing for the better already.
I took my last Lovenox shot a couple of days ago. I removed my last Steri-strips today. I have my first post-op appointment with my surgeon on Friday. I will update then if not before. Take care everyone!