spark1es18
New Year, New me!
Jan 04, 2009
Whew!
Oct 04, 2008
Ouch!
Aug 08, 2008
Whew!
Aug 03, 2008
Pre-op, day before surgery- I weighed in at 259 lbs on the doctors scale. So that's my official starting weight. I saw the doctor for about 1 minute after waiting FOREVER, but that's ok. He joked that since I already lost some weight I didn't need the surgery. I was happy to hear he was happy. I went to the hospital where I needed to have an EKG, blood work and urinalysis. The nurse that talked to me was really nice and she got me to the EKG test really quick. After that, I was sent over to the lab for the other things, where I was ignored until I tapped one the glass and told them I was there. They had me take a seat and I waited. And waited. After 30 minutes I went to see what the holdup was and they said I needed a chest xray, why didn't I go ther first. Grr. Got a chest xray, finally got my lap work done(by some grouchy man) and finally got to leave. I was on liquids all day so I was pretty grouchy . I spent some time in the hot tub that night to relax and slept really well.
Day of surgery-The time of my surgery had been changed from 8:30 to 1:00 to 11:30, so we had to be there by 9:00. I barely talked all morning because I was soooooo nervous . I got to the hospital and 9:00 am exactly and was whisked around to the holding area. The hospital gown that they had me change into was ok, it was really big on me but that made me feel better. I waited around in there for awhile until the nurse came in to start my IV and give me a heparin shot. I cried when she gave me the heparin shot, not because it hurt, but because I started realizing that this was really going to happen . I was also sad that my mom wasn't with me, I needed her there. She did come in a little later, after the IV and everything was started. After what seemed like forever they took me up to the surgery waiting room with 3 other people and I waited some more. Dr Higa popped in for minute and then the anesthesiologist came in to give me some "happy" juice. My mom asked me right away if it was working. In one breath I laughed and said "No, not yet" and then "Ummm yeeeaaahhh..." . Right after that they took me to the OR. I remember being asked to scoot over onto the table and then raise my ams, which I could barely do, and then I was out. I woke up int the recovery room feeling very sleepy.
I would close my eyes and think I just blinked, but look at the clock and see an hour passed. The nurse had to keep telling me to breathe because my oxygen levels kept dropping (I ended up being on oxygen all night). I'm not sure how long I was in there, they were trying to get me a room. The nurses were arguing with someone on the phone about room numbers.
My hospital stay- I stayed in the hospital for one night. I ended up having 3 roommates during this time and didn't sleep a wink. It hurt to get up and go to the bathroom, which was a big process anyway because of the iv rack. I started walking in the middle of the night, since I wasn't sleeping anyway, and walked constantly the next morning. The pain pump worked great, my pain was managable the whole time. I was released mid afternoon and by the time I got picked up I was really uncomfortable. The ride home was painful, but the pillow I pressed against my stomach helped a lot.
Finally at home!- The first day or so home is a blurr. I discovered that broth was not going to be possible for me, the taste made me sick. I tried strained cup o noodles and they worked sometime, but I couldn't drink very much. Popsicles went down best, especially big sticks. I walked a lot at first, but it was so stinkin hot outside that I didn't walk for long. Reading made me sick so I watched TV. I got tired really quick but couldn't sleep very well at all. I ended up feeling really dizzy and nauseus by the 3rd day. I felt like I was going to throw up or pass out whenever I moved for the next 3 days. I even called the drs office and they said to stop taking the nausea pills, a side effect is dizziness. Huh. I made it to church on sunday, barely, and work on monday, but only for a couple of hours. I felt so much better one week post op, it was crazy.
Post-op visit-I saw the NP 9 days after surgery. She said I was doing great, which was encouraging. Now that bad part-I can only eat 1/4 cup at a time 3x a day, with 2 snacks if needed . I cried on the way home because that is just not enough food! I want to be able to eat an actual meal, even really small, and there is no way to do that with only 1/4 cup. It seriously sent me into a depression. I couldn't imagine only eating that much for the rest of my life. I would have chosen RNY in that case. I posted a question about food amounts on the message board and got a wide array of answers. Some people think my doctor hates fat people, or heis uneducated, or they are doing the same thing with their doctor. I decided to call the office and talk to the other nurse. She was very nice and pretty much told me the rules are the same for all patients, even RNY, just because that's the main surgery they do. She said I will be a little different, so if 1/4 cup doesn't satisfy me, to have 1/2 a cup. She said they are trying to get me in the habit of eating small meals. I felt a lot better after talking to her.
Now-Tomorrow is my official weigh day, but as of today I am down 15.4 lbs. I'm ok with that, I haven't been very good about eating healthy the last week, because I was focusing on healing. I was on clear liquids for a week, soft foods(mushies) this week, and I get to start regular foods on tuesday. Feeling pretty good!
Rewards
Jul 18, 2008
229(just obese, not morbidly)-make-up and a pedicure-not a biggie really, but it would help my self esteem.
199-(onderland!)-Vegas weekend
174-overweight-Disneyland!-I'm terrified right now of going on rides because of my size, this would be a great treat!
145-normal weight-Germany-I promised my friend I would go visit her, this will give me the motivation to keep going.
125-ultimate goal-A car! This right now is wishful thinking, but you never know!
I've also promised myself a new movie every 5 lbs and a new accessory or article of clothing every 15 lbs. My rewards for goals accomplished used to always be food but that's changed now.
Goal achieved!
Jul 13, 2008
I've been trying to lose 20 lbs since March and I finally did it! I wanted to lose weight on my own before surgery to motivate me during banster hell, and I succeeded! Took me forever, but I am currently 20lbs lighter! Woohoo!This is me jumping for joy.
It's on!
Jul 12, 2008
I am currently weighing in at 255.4 lb. That's just .4 lbs away from a 20 lb loss. Those last 2 lbs were a pain, but that's entirely my fault. I'm already dealing with food issues and I haven't even had surgery yet! Oh, boy. I've been struggling with telling people about the surgery. I don't want to keep it a secret, but it's so awkward to bring up! I suppose it will work itself out, but we'll see.....
My roommate's jumped on the bandwagon with me, only without a band. She loses weight so much easier than me, I'm starting to get a little jealous. At first she kept saying she was going to be so jealous when I start losing weight, but she's already doing great. It's nice to have someone be so supportive, I'm not sure I could do it without her; we're each other's worst enemies when it comes to eating right. Maybe some healthy competition will keep us both going.
New goal, I would like to be 233 by my next vacation, Cancun! That's 22 lbs in 3 months. I think it's a totally realistic goal.
Feelin good
Jun 20, 2008
My behaviour over the chinese food was scary. It was a buffet, and I could have been good, I could have found food that wasn't as bad, but I didn't listen to that voice in my head, I listened to the other voice, telling me to load my plate with white rice and fried shrimp. Two plates later, I'm still stuffing my face, even after that uncomfortable "I ate too much" feeling. This is the kind of habit I have to change before being banded, not only will I fail at weight loss, but I can hurt myself and the band. I guess it was a good reminder that learning is a process and I won't be able to just suddenly be perfect. One day at a time...
I love these smiley faces.
Update
Jun 13, 2008
I've been thinking...
Jun 13, 2008