StaceyLee
12/14/06 231 lbs.
Hi ! This is my very first entry even though I've been a member since July. I guess I just didn't feel I had anything to say. Well, I do now! I got approved for my lap band. I don't have a date yet, but will soon. That surgeon better let me know soon- I'm getting impatient!
Here's a bit about myself- I'm married (dh Steve), live in Dublin, Ohio and work as a special ed aide at an elementary school and a latchkey teacher. We don't have kids yet,but I really would like to have at least one before I'm 40- which isn't too far off. Truthfully, I just never felt like I was healthy enough to get pregnant being so overweight. But, hopefully, that will change soon! I have 2 chocolate labs- Murphy and Darby and a calico cat named Betsy. That, for now, is my little family.
As far as my weight "story" goes. Here's the scoop. I started to gain weight pretty much right out of high school. Up until then I was always healthy and looked great. I can say that now, but back then I thought I was overweight. Its sad, but I really never got to truly enjoy having a nice figure. I always wanted to be "tiny". I always dated football players with big appetites and liking food myself- I could eat with the best of them. It wasn't long before the lack of exercise and the lifestyle of a lazy college kid got the best of me. I gained 15 pounds my first year of college then steadily gained more weight as the years went on. I tried diet after diet. I yoyo dieted through the 80's and 90's trying every fad that came along. I even thought once and I really remember having this thought- "you may as well accept it- you are going to be fat." It was a self fulfilling prophecy. I told myself I was going to get fat and I did. Pretty sad. As this was happening, I just always thought- you can lose it eventually if you want. I also thought- just buy more clothes, make sure your nails and hair are perfect and you can fool everyone. Isn't that crazy??? Like no one would notice my 200 lb. fat ass because they were so mesmerized by my beautiful hair and fingernails! LOL!
I didn't go through all of this craziness alone. When my husband and I got together, I was lucky enough to meet my best friend, Laura. He and Laura are cousins. From the start we had a special bond. Not only do we have a lot in common personally- we both have struggled with our weight in exactly the same way. We truly have gained together throughout the years and have tried to support each others attempts to lose. Yet at times, we sabbotaged each others efforts ( "come out to dinner with me- we'll start our diets on Monday" etc...) without really realizing. Well, it's at the point now where were approaching 40 and our health is compromised, as is our dh's (high bp & cholesterol). I know what is right for me and this surgery is it. I can FINALLY in 20 years see a glimmer of light at the end of a long, dark tunnel. Unfortunately, my friend is not ready to take this step with me. She has always felt she can do it with diet and exercise alone. I have no doubt she will. She just needs to decide when. I've always been the person less willing to take a chance at anything or try anything new. I think by doing this for myself, I'm really boosting my self esteem and self worth. I can feel it already- crazy as that sounds. Maybe I can be someone else's inspiration? Who knows, I just know- right now- I'm ready to make a change and go forward without looking back. No hesitations!!!
Hopefully, the next time I check in I'll have a date for surgery! Bye for now :) StaceyLee
1/1/07 234lbs.
Happy New Year! I have a surgery date: January 22. 12:15pm. Just an update:) Stacey
