Progress update

May 10, 2015

It's been awhile since I've updated my status and written anything so I thought i'd take a few minutes and post in my blog. It's been almost 4 1/2 months since my surgery. Today I weighed in at 180 lbs. My highest weight at this time last year was 262lbs, my surgery weight was 242 lbs. I've lost 82 lbs total weight since I started my journey and 62 lbs in these last 4 1/2 months....It's still mind boggling. I look in the mirror and of course I can see that i've lost weight, but when I try on clothes that used to be tight, and they fall down off my hips and sit around my ankles, I'm completely stunned! I personally don't see that much difference when I look in the mirror and when I hold up those clothes I can't believe that I was THAT big...I call my condition "Fatorexia". Last year I was in a size 22...a few days ago I went to buy some new jeans and when the womens section didn't have the size I wanted to try on in the brand I want, I decided to check out the Misses section...I nearly cried when I pulled on a size 13/14 and they fit! I was completely flabbergasted! When I look down at my body I just don't see THAT much difference but when I hold up my new clothes to my old, there is no denying the difference! What means more to me than the size of my body, is the feel of it! I walk without pain. I walk "lighter" if that makes sense. I can skip up a flight of stairs. jog down a hill without jarring pain or gasping for breath. I sleep more comfortably, my feet don't hurt being on them all day at work. I noticed how much more comfortable I feel in my car seat and wonder what it will feel like to sit on an airplane next time! My ticker shows a goal weight of 140 lbs...A number chosen because it sits in the middle of the recommended healthy BMI for my height. My actual goal is a size (8-10) because I know that the muscle in my body that I have and that I want to regain may actually put me at a higher weight but a smaller size. As I sit right now, I'm only 40 lbs from that goal weight and 3 sizes from my goal size. For the first time in over 15 years, I'm interested in clothes again. When I see a cute outfit on a mannequin in a store window, or a model in a fashion ad, it suddenly hits me that I could wear something like that and look good in it! Gone are the days of wearing plus sized clothes that have prints better fit for curtains or couches! You know the ones, big gawdy floral or busy prints and designs meant to distract from the size of the person wearing them by distracting the eyes and overloading the brain with too much detail! I've been blessed with no problems or complications post op. Although I occasionally eat something that doesn't go down well or sit well in my pouch, I catch it within a bite or two and know to just stop and try something else. I have energy, I have strength, I have my health back. I have fewer headaches, I have better quality sleep, I have less appetite and therefore, more control over my eating habits! I can go out to eat and find quality choices without feeling deprived of the pleasure of the experience and being with friends in a social atmosphere. I can make my daily goals for nutrition requirements and enjoy the food choices at the same time. Although I have seen some hair loss, I only notice it on the brush and not on my head but to be fair, I have a very thick head of hair to begin with. My arms and stomach have very little sagging skin and I have no issues with wearing clothes that reveal both. I don't know how bad the skin will be in my thighs and legs which are my problem area to begin with, but I DO know it won't matter as much anyway. The benefits far outweigh (Pun very much intended) the cosmetic issues and I know that with effort, I can minimize some of the skin issues with rebuilding muscle. And if I never wear "short shorts" or a mini skirt again, I'm okay with that. I will only consider skin removal if it becomes necessary due to medical issues. I haven't posted any pictures recently but it's on my agenda to get some up soon. For anyone who may read these blog posts, anyone who is new to or considering WL surgery and wondering if it's worth it or if people who have it have any regrets, I can only speak for myself when I say "Not a SINGLE DAY goes by that I'm not completely 100% grateful for my surgery. I have NO regrets and believe that this was the best decision I could have made to extend my life and give me back a quality of life I thought was gone forever!" I realize not everyone has the same views and some have more complications post op. I also know my pre-surgery issues weren't as bad as some and the amount of excess weight I need to lose is less than many, but the ability to achieve success, the benefits of weight loss, the quality of life we regain and the health risks we reduce are equally important to all of us no matter our starting weight or issues. It doesn't make our successes any less worthy of celebration. Our decisions for choosing WLS are as individual as we are. Our challenges both pre and post OP can vary greatly. All I know is that for myself, WLS was the right choice and worth every sacrifice made to get where I am and every one i'll continue to make to get to goal and maintain it. I KNOW i'm being given a chance to live the life I want to live and feel blessed for having the chance. 

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