My story is I never used to have a problem with weight. Then I turned 18 and went to college and it was downhill from there. My "Freshman 15" was actually a "Freshman 75".  I went from 110 to 185 in two semesters (thats only 9 months).  A year later I was really depressed and ended up dropping 55 pounds in a month and a half.  I went from a size 18 to a size 4 in 6 weeks.  I would love to say that I did this in a healthy way but I didn't.  I worked out 3 hours a day after class and I hardly ate at all (my stomach was always nauseated from the depression).  After that the weight came back, slowly at first, and then I was back up to about 170 before I knew it. I have been that way for the last 7 years (and have even gained more despite my dieting efforts) and have had no success with diets and exercise (even though I am an exercise fiend).

I was first introduced to the possiblity of WLS by my mother who had RNY in 2003.  She was living with my husband and I at the time and saw how much I was struggling. I had been a part of a doctor monitored weightloss program for about 9 months and had seen no lasting results.  I was frustrated because I was doing all I was supposed to and nothing was working.  Even the doctor couldn't tell me why I wasn't losing weight (or even changing my body composition).

Going into this program, I knew it was the last step. My back was hurting much more from the weight I was carrying (I have pretty bad curvature of the spine).  My husband and I wanted to start a family but could I afford to gain pregnancy weight on top of the 205 pounds I was already carrying? I could no longer clean my house without wearing supportive sneakers and taking breaks.  Even getting in and out of the bathtub was becoming more and more difficult. So when my mother suggested WLS, my reaction was agreement right? WRONG

I freaked.  How could I need WLS? I have been successful at EVERYTHING I wanted to do in my life. Grad school, sports, musical instruments, you name it, I can do it or I could do it.  Surely I, of all people, could lose the weight?!?

Well it turns out I can't and coming to grips with that has been the hardest part of my WLS journey.  I never identified with myself in THIS body so even accepting the fact that I am obese  and need help as it is starting to hurt my body has been tough.  These are the things I have been facing since April 2008.  This is why I came to this board. Not only to get answers to my questions on gastric band, but to be supported as I come to understand that I am NOT a failure because I can't lose weight, that the cards are stacked against me in terms of genetics and that I am obese NOW but I won't be forever.