stacyraquel
Well!! So many times I have come to this site to look at other peoples profiles and pictures---now it's my turn!
My name is Stacy and I am sick and tired of being fat! I was normal weight as a baby and into my childhood, however, around age 8, I started to get "chubby." Through junior high school (mid 80's) and high school I was always the bigger girl in my group of friends. Even though I was a size 12-14, I felt HUGE beside them. I never had a big tummy however, it was all in my thighs and butt. In retrospect, I would probably be very popular if I was the same today.(a la J-lo haha) After I graduated high school in 1991, I started going out to clubs and dancing with my friends, sometimes 4 times a week. I loved to dance! I considered myself a very good dancer, Im talking hip-hop, salsa, rave--kind of dancing. I would dance sometimes 3-4 hours straight, sweating so much, my clothes would be drenched!! So I realize now, that dancing was my exercise back then. This went on for at least 6 years. It wasn't until I grew tired of the "club scene" that I started to gain weight. I rarely ever exercised, and I was starting to get "comfy" in my sedentary lifestyle. In 1991 I remember being 160lbs. By 1997 I was probably around 185lbs. My Mom started to get really sick in 1997. She was diagnosed with Hepatitis C and her health started to decline rather quickly. She passed away in 1999. Needless to say I was devastated. I fell into a severe depression and started to put on weight pretty fast. In 2000, I met my husband and I weighed about 220lbs. By the time I got pregnant with my son in 2002 I weighed 243lbs. I gained 47lbs. during my pregnancy and got up to 291lbs. --gosh--I still can't believe the great pregnancy I had, barely any morning sickness, just a little swelling the last month but even at 291lbs, and High risk, I didn't develop diabetes, or hypertension none of that stuff. I lost 37lbs. within the first 3 weeks after I gave birth. NO LIE! It was mainly water weight---PLUS it was August and I sweated profusely! Within 3 months however, I gained the majority of it back. I remember starting to get frustrated that I couldn't fit back into my clothes that I had before I had gotten pregnant. In 2004 my father died. Talk about reasons to be fat! About a month later I was diagnosed with cancer. A very large tumor had started to grow inside my uterus---almost 10 lbs. to be exact. When it was removed, losing that 10lbs or so was kind of strange. Meaning: I had tried to lose weight prior and I always "fell off the wagon," it took CANCER to lose weight. So after my surgery I was so depressed, I cried all the time. My Oncologist told me I "probably won't be able to have children in the traditional sense, but there are always other alternatives." I was crushed---I really wanted to have more children. I was really depressed and weighed around 270lbs. In 2005 I finally got on meds and started to feel better. I weighed about 285lbs. late 2005, and started to stay around that same weight until around September 2006. I had enough---In Oct 2006 I weighed 295lbs. I tried to go on a diet and in 2 weeks I lost 5 lbs. I felt really good---- then, I don't know what happened! I abandoned the diet and I gained the 5lbs. back and then some! January 8th, I went to see my doctor to get a referral for a Bariatric Surgeon and was weighed at the doctors office---the scale said 304lbs. I was beside myself. My husband was with me and I felt so embarrassed. How did I let myself get like this?? I need help. So I am here. This is what it has come down to. I want my outside to reflect how I feel on the inside. Because inside, I feel youthful, and sexy and ALIVE! I want to do so many things but feel like my body is holding me back! I want to be athletic, I have always wanted to go rock climbing and go to yoga (not saying I can't do that now) but I have a vision of myself in cute yoga attire doing all kinds of weird positions. I know---- Im strange, but its the little things that I want to be able to do. I want to be able to sit comfortably in an airplane seat. The last few times we have flown I have had to ask for an extender--that is really embarrasing! Clothes are one of the biggest things. I feel I have great style, but clothes that are a size 24-26 DO NOT LOOK GOOD! PERIOD. I want to wear cute clothes and feel good about myself. There are obviously more important reasons why its critical that I lose weight--the number one---my beautiful sons. They deserve for their mother to be there for them, healthy and happy! They are my miracle babies and I owe it to them to be the best that I can be! My Husband has loved me big--yes I was about 90lbs. smaller but he has always been great and he continues to be my #1 fan! Not to mention all my other family and friends who I love so much. That is my story in a very abbreviated nutshell. So my journey starts............
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