I had surgery !!!!!!!!

Nov 05, 2008

Well, I had surgery and am home now from it. Everything went really good. I am recovering extremely quickly. I went to a support group last night and a lot of people were surprised to see me out and about only a few days out. But I just make short trips here and there or I'll get bored. LOL. I am enjoying my new life already while dreaming of all the great physical activities I'll be able to do now. I'm looking forward to hot air ballooning for the first time with my extended family next summer!

2 & 1/2 days until surgery & feelen' fine!

Oct 28, 2008

I'm feeling good about the surgery at the moment. I get scared sometimes because my BMI is so high, so when it comes to the anesthesia the doc has to be very careful. The hunger is the only thing bothering me. I would love to eat dinner with my husband right now, but I'm on a clear liquid diet for 3 days. I struggle more at night so I'll be better in the morning. I'm starting to think that I'm a bit proud of myself because I lost a lot of weight on my own & made a lifestyle change already even before surgery. I eat in a completely different way. I think about my food intake a lot more. I don't stay up late eating in front of the television. I've started walking a little over a mile on most weekdays. I wear tennishoes instead of sandals so that I can be prepared to walk in situations where I wouldn't have in the past, and I've started thinking that tomorrow is another day for another chance to make any food/diet corrections that I messed up on the day before. In all, I'd say I've made a lot of progress and am ready to take the plunge! Thanks to God and all my supportive  friends, OH & support group members, & family!

Yae, I have a date!!!

Oct 14, 2008

Finally!!!! I feel like singing praises! My surgery date is October 31, 2008. This will be the best Halloween ever. I went to the preop class yesterday. Now everything is how should be now in the land of Heather. I am sooo excited. I really need this & am grateful to God for getting me this far. I'll be asking his help with the rest of my journey also. I need to take a pre-op picture because they forgot  the 1st time I went up to Legacy. I'll do that soon.

I talked to Legacy today!

Sep 19, 2008

OK. I just called Legacy & they said they'll call me in a week or so after they discuss my case. I have a large BMI over 40, & they want to make sure we're completely ready. I am ready on my end, but am waiting for them now. I'm getting excited. I've been walking this week & am going on another mile long walk tonight, but am slowly starting to waver when it comes to my diet. I am really trying to keep things going good on my end of the pre-surgery spectrum. But the whole point of surgery is to get help for my overeating. I hope they hurry! 


I "think" this is definitely a mental goal LOL

Sep 17, 2008

Yes, this is definitely a mental WLS journey! I lost 23 pounds with the liquid diet since posting last, & got cleared for surgery, but do not have an actual surgery date set yet. I will definitely post when I do. The reason that I'm stressing is that this is such a mental goal to lose weight before surgery.  Because when I say I can do this, & fight past the "I cants" in my mind, it is all completely mental. Ofcourse when I can't fight it, it's mental too, which means I need to figure out a way to focus "grasshopper"! LOL. I believe, for me, it's easier to have stronger negative mental focus than positive. I am working on that now & at this moment  I'II say: "I will do it!" I will be positive, have mental clarity, & continue being healthy. I have been walking, & eating a lot less, but need to eat less still & improve the type of food I eat  to continue weightloss & good health. Thanx again 2 all my f&f 4 the support!

When I stop eating, I start thinking? No wonder this is so hard

Aug 13, 2008

Struggling~ because when I stop eating, I start thinking! I want an actual breakfast, not a meal replacement. Should I be more focused on the positive at this very moment, when all I want is a bowl of cheerios? I guess The answer is yes since not eating the cereal brings me one step closer to my goal. I need to remember that.
     I am currently looking for a therapist. It was my negative thought process that got me to this weight. Maybe positive thinking will pull me out of these hard times.
     Once again, thanx for the luv & support from OH members, support grp members, family & friends. I'm truly grateful!     ~Lots of Love to all, Heather

forever struggling

Aug 07, 2008

Even after attending an encouraging support group last, night I 'm still really struggling with starting my liquid diet regimend. My life is going downhill fast with every relationship I have, my spirituality, & my mental health. At this point, my physical health is actually declining less than the forementioned life areas. Any encouragement or even point-blank truth is welcome. Thanks.


Liquid diet nutritionist appointment yesterday

Aug 06, 2008

Strict mostly liquid diet for 1 month so I can be better prepared for surgery. I'll bring the the meal replacements tonight for  Salem support group show & tell. Next Legacy visit is Sep 5, '08.

Saturday Morning Breakfast

Jun 21, 2008

I was on such an "I can do this." role with my last blog post, but when breakfast time rolled around, I was going for the gut-buster gold! During the cooking process, I slowed my food thoughts down. Way down. I usually only have to worry about my late night unexplainable food warewolf that comes out of nowhere. But like I said last time, these weekend breakfasts are getting more tough too. I checked out the calendar to realize there's only 11 days until my next surgeon appt weigh-in. She doesn't want me rescheduling like I usually do if I don't continue weightloss. Well, I guess she'll see how difficult this is for me then. Anyway, depression took over while cooking brkfst after evaluating the calendar. I pulled myself out of it some, but it really should have been a lot more. I don't usually post what I eat, but this morning, a large amount of  scrambled eggs with carbohydrate loaded ketchup & 3 skinny grilled hotdogs (no bread) was my downfall, although it could have been a bit worse. The funny thing is 5 months ago, breakfast would have been double that amount. It's hard to congratulate my successes when I know it's still just not enough. Why did she say I have to continue losing weight? Why couldn't she have said to continue maintaining my weight? Anyway, I took a nap before lunch & woke up with a different attitude. I did really well the rest of the day. ~HR*


WHAT HAPPENED AT THE SURGEON APPNTMT

Jun 20, 2008

Oh wow, When I 1st came back from the surgeon appointment, I posted what happened on the Oregon board because that's where I was discussing my surgn apntmt the most right before I went up, so I forgot to post here, so my apologies, but here's what happened.:
      
By the day of the apntmnt I had almost 40 pounds gone, so the weightloss was substantial, but it was kind of quick loss so she wants to make sure I continue after surgery. I guess some people lose it really quick & want to hurry & get surgey w/o keeping it up for a while. She wants to make sure I'm committed to a lifestyle change. She also said that she gave me 2 requirements which were to lose weight & use my cpap machine. I haven't used my cpap because of some kind long lasting cough & cold sickness (pnemonia? pcp wasn't sure) I got this winter with an incredibly stuffed up nose. The cpap people said not to use it until my nose was unplugged, but I was still sick the day of the visit, so there wasn't any cpap usage yet. Also, I kept postponing my appnt because of no weightloss, so by the time I went back to see her, it was quite a few months later. From now on, I'll keep my aptmnts even if I know there is no progress. I guess doctors like to know how we're coming along. She said to continue losing weight, start using my cpap & come back in one month. Well, there's the update on the visit.
     Now, I want to update you on my progress back here at home. I tried to fool myself into thinking I wasn't that upset. I mean I do see her side AND mine. I guess my huge issue is that weightloss is harder for me than she realizes. I kind of feel singled out since my BMI is higher than a lot of WLS patients. I feel like some people slide by while I'm more noticable because I'm bigger. I feel that way because a lot of WLS patients tell me they only had to lose a few pounds or they didn't have to lose anything (usually other hospitals & lower BMI patients). But now I realize that everyone has hurdles during this process. Some people struggle with insurance for great lengths of time, some people don't have ins., some ppl have other health problems that slow or hinder the process, some ppl might have to lose more weight than me, some ppl might have money issues or any number of things. I need to stop whining and get on board 100% & just do whatever she asks. I know it's for my health & she wants it to be a safe & successful operation. So do I. I guess the problem now is continuing to lose weight while other things in life are starting to catch up with me. I put too many things on hold while waiting for this surgery & maybe the blessing in disguise is that I need to learn how to function in life while not overeating. I believe emotional issues are arising while I lose weight because I don't have food to stuff them down with. At first, I thought I will take care of these issues on my own, but I kind of feel like they're harder to pinpoint because it's not just one huge traumatic event, but rather a lot of smaller negative events all rolled up into one called my childhood. Just Kidding -kind of-. But, honestly I have more positive memories than negative, so the negative ones must have been really bad. I'm sure I block a lot out, so I'm going to start counseling soon. I've already looked into it, so I need to dedicate myself to it. I do think the co-pays are worth it, so I will start in July. Everyone says the doctors only operate on our stomachs, not our brains. Plus this may be the thing to kick me into high gear. I've been struggling with caloric intake since the aptmnt. At first, because of anger of not getting a surgery date, then because of depression of not getting a s.date. Then I get depressed because I can't stop eating & I'm addicted to food, then I eat more because I'm angry & depressed that I can't stop eating. The only way it will stop is if I believe I can lose the weight before I go back up there. I have to believe in myself to do that. If there's no more weightloss at this visit, I have to be even stronger for the next time. I hear myself going in circles. Then other life happens, &  I when a take a moment to process, I realize it's been almost two years since I've started & most ppl don't take nearly this long at all (need to lose more wt. because BMI is over 60 -higher than most WLS patients-). What's gonna get me to do it? Going to counseling? support groups? Spending time on this OH site? Talking to ppl about weight problems? Talking about other life problems? Right now, I feel like writing this out in my blog has helped so much. What's gonna happen when I get off this computer & go back to real life? What am I gonna eat for breakfast when I wake up in the morning? Traditionally weekends are heavier breakfast days. There's time to sleep in & make a breakfast a big event. I've dieted before on weekends. Lots of times. But now that I've already been slipping up dietwise, will I continue to overeat in the morning or will I remember this self-inspired moment & do a complete turnaround? I need to get on with life. I can't stay stuck in fatland any longer. I WON"T be in fathell any longer. Stay tuned. You'll see. This is it. I'm done. 
    


About Me
Keizer, OR
Location
Apr 18, 2007
Member Since

Friends 15

Latest Blog 12
I had surgery !!!!!!!!
2 & 1/2 days until surgery & feelen' fine!
Yae, I have a date!!!
I talked to Legacy today!
I "think" this is definitely a mental goal LOL
When I stop eating, I start thinking? No wonder this is so hard
forever struggling
Liquid diet nutritionist appointment yesterday
Saturday Morning Breakfast
WHAT HAPPENED AT THE SURGEON APPNTMT

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