Starr D.
Before and After
Oct 01, 2007
I had the DS on 8/1/2005. I was miserable and ill and very compromised by MO. Today I am healthy again - down from 280 to 175 pounds - and have my glow back. See for yourself!
My top size was 24W or 2X. Actually, I thought I'd get to be less than 175 pounds and I probably could if I tried. Meaning "diet", which is now a four letter word to me. I did not have the DS to diet. I comply, and I eat healthy, but I do not diet. I do not obsess. I spent too many years doing that. And so, at a size 14P, I'm nice and curvy and happy with myself. Peace of mind is the best.
My top size was 24W or 2X. Actually, I thought I'd get to be less than 175 pounds and I probably could if I tried. Meaning "diet", which is now a four letter word to me. I did not have the DS to diet. I comply, and I eat healthy, but I do not diet. I do not obsess. I spent too many years doing that. And so, at a size 14P, I'm nice and curvy and happy with myself. Peace of mind is the best.
Ohio DS get-together on 9/29/07
Oct 01, 2007
Here's my post for that get-together!!
Hi everyone!! Man, we had a great time last Saturday evening at the Green in Dayton OH! I am late in posting pics, but this is the first chance I've had to edit and post.
First, let me say that the Dayton/Cincinnati Ohio DS group continues to grow and Val and Caro already made great posts about it. We had one party-crasher, Peggy, from Indianapolis - who was most welcome and a nice surprise. Most of the following pics are from her. She doesn't regularly post here even though she does read every day - she has some work conflicts that keep her from posting freely. But she did give me her film disc so that we can all share the photos she took. Thanks Peggy!
Second, I will confer that the Ohio DSers totally rock!! The nine of us (including Indy Peggy) who have had the DS have so far lost a total of 1172 pounds - is that awesome or what??!! Combine that with what the Michigan group had lost when I visited them in August and you have 17 formerly MO persons who have lost 2112 pounds!! More than a ton!! OMG - it is such a testament to what the DS can do. And can you even put a price on the improvement in those 17 lives?? I don't think so......
Meanwhile, here's some photos:
first, the scene of the crime ~ the Mongolian Grill where you get fabulous food and fabulous service!!
David and diva Bonnie are both looking so fine...
Val arrives looking super-sexy...
Caro and husband had a fun evening (he showed me some family pics and they have such a beautiful and lovely spiritual family!!
We do feed our faces!! (pictured is Kym and super-supportive hubby Ken, Caprice and me on the right with Lloyd and wife Chris also on the right, then, on the left, Bonnie standing, David and then Peggy's daughter)
David (down 185 pounds), Kym (down 145 pounds to a size 4!!) and Lisa (down 80 pounds so far)
then me and David...
honestly, when David stood up to get his pic with me, he was sooooo tall and soooo cute!!
isnt' it true that the good ones are all taken already??? geeeezzzz.............
and here's the group: back: Lloyd, Brandy (diva goddess, having surgery real soon!), Kym, Caprice (DS in Mexico on 10/15), Lisa, Peggy, Bonnie front: Starr, Val, Caro
Don't we look fabulous???
Thanks so much for a fabulous get-together. The DS is a miracle and getting together and staying in touch is such a blessing. Caprice, my best friend and one who is having surgery two weeks from today, was so impressed at how generous and loving this group was. We share so much having been MO and finding our way out of that death-trap. I hope that we can continue to encourage each other every step of the way and to enjoy our second chance at life.
Thank you, each one of you, for being here and for sharing your experience. That is how we support each other and also how we spread the word about the most successful WLS available. I made a point to tell our waitress and waiter that we all love life and that we get to eat!! Her mouth literally fell open when I told her the amount of weight we have collectively lost. Life doesn't get any better than that!!
Here's the rundown:
Starr - minus 100 pounds
David - minus 185 pounds
Lloyd - minus 164 pounds
Peggy - minus 100 pounds
Kym - minus 145 pounds
Lisa - minus - 80 pounds
Val - minus 145 pounds
Caro - minus 115 pounds
Bonnie - minus 138 pounds
May your journey be successful, no matter where you are on the path,
Hi everyone!! Man, we had a great time last Saturday evening at the Green in Dayton OH! I am late in posting pics, but this is the first chance I've had to edit and post.
First, let me say that the Dayton/Cincinnati Ohio DS group continues to grow and Val and Caro already made great posts about it. We had one party-crasher, Peggy, from Indianapolis - who was most welcome and a nice surprise. Most of the following pics are from her. She doesn't regularly post here even though she does read every day - she has some work conflicts that keep her from posting freely. But she did give me her film disc so that we can all share the photos she took. Thanks Peggy!
Second, I will confer that the Ohio DSers totally rock!! The nine of us (including Indy Peggy) who have had the DS have so far lost a total of 1172 pounds - is that awesome or what??!! Combine that with what the Michigan group had lost when I visited them in August and you have 17 formerly MO persons who have lost 2112 pounds!! More than a ton!! OMG - it is such a testament to what the DS can do. And can you even put a price on the improvement in those 17 lives?? I don't think so......
Meanwhile, here's some photos:
first, the scene of the crime ~ the Mongolian Grill where you get fabulous food and fabulous service!!
David and diva Bonnie are both looking so fine...
Val arrives looking super-sexy...
Caro and husband had a fun evening (he showed me some family pics and they have such a beautiful and lovely spiritual family!!
We do feed our faces!! (pictured is Kym and super-supportive hubby Ken, Caprice and me on the right with Lloyd and wife Chris also on the right, then, on the left, Bonnie standing, David and then Peggy's daughter)
David (down 185 pounds), Kym (down 145 pounds to a size 4!!) and Lisa (down 80 pounds so far)
then me and David...
honestly, when David stood up to get his pic with me, he was sooooo tall and soooo cute!!
isnt' it true that the good ones are all taken already??? geeeezzzz.............
and here's the group: back: Lloyd, Brandy (diva goddess, having surgery real soon!), Kym, Caprice (DS in Mexico on 10/15), Lisa, Peggy, Bonnie front: Starr, Val, Caro
Don't we look fabulous???
Thanks so much for a fabulous get-together. The DS is a miracle and getting together and staying in touch is such a blessing. Caprice, my best friend and one who is having surgery two weeks from today, was so impressed at how generous and loving this group was. We share so much having been MO and finding our way out of that death-trap. I hope that we can continue to encourage each other every step of the way and to enjoy our second chance at life.
Thank you, each one of you, for being here and for sharing your experience. That is how we support each other and also how we spread the word about the most successful WLS available. I made a point to tell our waitress and waiter that we all love life and that we get to eat!! Her mouth literally fell open when I told her the amount of weight we have collectively lost. Life doesn't get any better than that!!
Here's the rundown:
Starr - minus 100 pounds
David - minus 185 pounds
Lloyd - minus 164 pounds
Peggy - minus 100 pounds
Kym - minus 145 pounds
Lisa - minus - 80 pounds
Val - minus 145 pounds
Caro - minus 115 pounds
Bonnie - minus 138 pounds
May your journey be successful, no matter where you are on the path,
Lunch with the Michigan girls
Aug 04, 2007
Today was a fun day in my DS history - I got to meet the Michigan DSer's and have lunch. What a treat! Here's a group shot at the restaurant..
Clockwise from left: Deanna, Sharon (in back), Cathy, Maureen, Starr, Valerie, Nicole, Nicole's sister, Natalie (Petunia's daughter). Petunia (Ruby) is taking the photo.
And here's some more photos:
me and Maureen, of course.
Sharon S and her husband Jim
Nicole (Cowgirl) and her sister
Ruby (Petunia) on the right and daughter Natalie - Natalie just had the VSG done in Mexico 8 weeks ago and is feeling great! Don't they look alike?
Deanna and Cathy (dutchcala)
Julie and Kevin. Like me, they drove four hours to get there, but it was worth it!
This is CM Bender (Christine) and hubby Joe. Christine will be having the DS in another 12 days and is looking forward to getting on the "other side". Hopefully we all reassured Joe that there is a new life ahead after the DS!
Valerie is my switch twin - we had the DS on the same day (8/1/2005). How good it was to meet her!
These two are the reason I drove to Michigan. I wanted to meet my switch twin Valerie and also the dear-heart Maureen. Lovely, lovely ladies.
And of course we had to have a group photo. Kevin took this.
From left: Maureen, Sharon, Starr, Deanna, Valerie, Nicole, Julie, Cathy, Ruby. The nine of us have collectively shed 1,060 pounds. How awesome is that?
When Kevin said, "ok, girls, lift your pant legs", Julie and I immediately did! Better not team us up with LeaAnn and Baby Catcher!
So if you get a chance to meet DSer's near you - go for it. The journey from morbid obesity to normal life and normal weight is a fantastic one that really bonds us together. I think we look great!
Clockwise from left: Deanna, Sharon (in back), Cathy, Maureen, Starr, Valerie, Nicole, Nicole's sister, Natalie (Petunia's daughter). Petunia (Ruby) is taking the photo.
And here's some more photos:
me and Maureen, of course.
Sharon S and her husband Jim
Nicole (Cowgirl) and her sister
Ruby (Petunia) on the right and daughter Natalie - Natalie just had the VSG done in Mexico 8 weeks ago and is feeling great! Don't they look alike?
Deanna and Cathy (dutchcala)
Julie and Kevin. Like me, they drove four hours to get there, but it was worth it!
This is CM Bender (Christine) and hubby Joe. Christine will be having the DS in another 12 days and is looking forward to getting on the "other side". Hopefully we all reassured Joe that there is a new life ahead after the DS!
Valerie is my switch twin - we had the DS on the same day (8/1/2005). How good it was to meet her!
These two are the reason I drove to Michigan. I wanted to meet my switch twin Valerie and also the dear-heart Maureen. Lovely, lovely ladies.
And of course we had to have a group photo. Kevin took this.
From left: Maureen, Sharon, Starr, Deanna, Valerie, Nicole, Julie, Cathy, Ruby. The nine of us have collectively shed 1,060 pounds. How awesome is that?
When Kevin said, "ok, girls, lift your pant legs", Julie and I immediately did! Better not team us up with LeaAnn and Baby Catcher!
So if you get a chance to meet DSer's near you - go for it. The journey from morbid obesity to normal life and normal weight is a fantastic one that really bonds us together. I think we look great!
Long overdue update...
Jul 15, 2007
Can it really be seven months since I last updated here? I truly cannot believe that! At that time I was still recovering from the hernia repair and LBL and I have to say that my life has changed considerably since that time!
In January 2007 I went back to work and tried to get back to a normal life. I was still adjusting to the changes from the plastic surgery and I felt very strange. Additionally, the people I work most closely with have not been supportive of my weight loss journey (they were either opposed to the idea of surgery or didn't give a hoot) and it was a surreal time for me. Suffice it to say that even though I lost 100 pounds in the past two years and my body changed dramatically with plastics, no one that I work with directly has said a single word. Not one word, be it favorable or unfavorable. NOT ONE WORD.
I found this emotionally devastating since I am a person who thrives on approval and acceptance from others. I guess this has been a lesson to me to grow up and get a better sense of my own self and not depend on what others think of me. This has been a hard lesson to say the least.
To be fair, there ARE people that I work with who did notice and who did care and who did say very nice and supportive things. They just aren't the people that I work with directly and I felt much like an orphan in my regular environment.
However, by the time Spring 2007 rolled around, I was a new person! Firmly in a size 14 petite, I finally went shopping for some new clothes for the first time since the whole WLS ordeal began two years ago. And what fun I had! I only bought really cute clothes - capris, skirts and a couple of new dresses with shrugs to hide my floppy arms. The first time I wore one of my new skirt outfits, my kids flipped out and ran for the camera. They were amazed at my "transformation" and were so happy for me that they couldn't stop commenting about it. I was thrilled to feel so attractive and comfortable with myself at last. Really, there are no words to express how wonderful it is to finally feel worthy of being in your own skin. The real me is visible for all to see for the first time in many years!! I cannot thank my doctors and surgeons enough for giving me back this aspect of my life after so many years of feeling unworthy and unacceptable and downright invisible to society. Finally, my real self is peeking out!!
Backing up a bit, I have to say that the LBL was a brutal surgery. The hardest I have had by far. Something about that 360 degree incision played on my mind and felt very gruesome. Maybe I just thought about it too much, but it felt "not normal" and I had a harder time adjusting to it mentally than I did physically. I did become depressed after that surgery and struggled with a lot of emotions for several weeks. Fortunately, Maureen and Deluzy both called me at home to chat and work through it. They helped me a lot.
After going back to work in January, I just went through the motions for some time. I guess this was still part of the healing and adjustment period. In the spring, I started to feel like the real me again. Like I said, I got some cute new clothes and started playing dress-up just like you do when you are a little girl. I wore skirts to work, put tanning cream on my legs to help with my pale-ness and just enjoyed looking like a girly-girl again. When someone at work asked me who I was "dressing for", I simply said "for me, who else?" And I smiled for the rest of the day because it was true...
When spring arrived, I began to work in my yard to restore my garden. This has turned out to be an amazing experience. Two years ago, trying to work in my garden was what triggered my final breakdown that lead to having the WLS. At that time I could not pull weeds out of the ground for ten minutes. I would become red in the face and so worn out that I could not continue. I cried because of what bad shape I was in. I feared that I would die and never see my children and grandchildren grow up in this life. I could barely get out of bed to get to work and support myself. I was afraid I had waited too long to get the DS.
Now, I can work all day and still come home and work for 3-4 hours in the garden. Weekends, I have to make myself go inside and rest. Honestly, I do not remember the last time I had my TV on - it's much too nice outdoors to stay in!! Go to my blog at http://starrgirlsworld.blogspot.com/ to see for yourself! I never thought I could feel this good again and I often stop what I am doing outdoors to look heavenward and say "thank you" to my glorious God Jehovah for giving me this second chance at life.
Always, I appreciated the gift of life and tried so hard to diet and exercise and live healthfully to show that I wanted to do all I could to deserve the blessings that came my way. In my heart I know that I always did what I could and that is why I know beyond all reasonable doubt that morbid obesity is a disease that makes it impossible for its victims to ever be a normal weight. Normal people do not gain hundreds of pounds and couldn't do so if they tried. But some of us do and that means that we are different from normal society and need the intervention of something like the DS. And then maybe plastics to feel normal again.
So here's the bottom line ~~
1) the DS was necessary for me to regain a normal weight and eating pattern. I look forward to always being a normal weight for the rest of my life and to not developing diabetes although it is prevalent on both sides of my genetic family.
2) The plastics restored me to a normal body image and made me feel youthful in my mid-fifties. No matter that it was brutal - it was like childbirth ~ a short time out of your life, (actually a total bitch of a time!), and then you are happy with the results forever. Having a flat tummy and slim hips is the most youthful thing that could happen to me at this point in my life. Clothes are fun and I enjoy strutting my stuff in front of those stodgy fools at work who opposed my WLS in the first place....
I have had an incredible journey back from morbid obesity and the DS forum here has been a large part of my experience. Please feel free to email me with questions or comments as I would love to give you feedback and pay forward anything that I can. This experience has its price, but it is small in comparison to being morbidly obese. Ask me anything and I will tell you all that I can and what is true for me.
I am one happy, happy person since I discovered the DS!
In January 2007 I went back to work and tried to get back to a normal life. I was still adjusting to the changes from the plastic surgery and I felt very strange. Additionally, the people I work most closely with have not been supportive of my weight loss journey (they were either opposed to the idea of surgery or didn't give a hoot) and it was a surreal time for me. Suffice it to say that even though I lost 100 pounds in the past two years and my body changed dramatically with plastics, no one that I work with directly has said a single word. Not one word, be it favorable or unfavorable. NOT ONE WORD.
I found this emotionally devastating since I am a person who thrives on approval and acceptance from others. I guess this has been a lesson to me to grow up and get a better sense of my own self and not depend on what others think of me. This has been a hard lesson to say the least.
To be fair, there ARE people that I work with who did notice and who did care and who did say very nice and supportive things. They just aren't the people that I work with directly and I felt much like an orphan in my regular environment.
However, by the time Spring 2007 rolled around, I was a new person! Firmly in a size 14 petite, I finally went shopping for some new clothes for the first time since the whole WLS ordeal began two years ago. And what fun I had! I only bought really cute clothes - capris, skirts and a couple of new dresses with shrugs to hide my floppy arms. The first time I wore one of my new skirt outfits, my kids flipped out and ran for the camera. They were amazed at my "transformation" and were so happy for me that they couldn't stop commenting about it. I was thrilled to feel so attractive and comfortable with myself at last. Really, there are no words to express how wonderful it is to finally feel worthy of being in your own skin. The real me is visible for all to see for the first time in many years!! I cannot thank my doctors and surgeons enough for giving me back this aspect of my life after so many years of feeling unworthy and unacceptable and downright invisible to society. Finally, my real self is peeking out!!
Backing up a bit, I have to say that the LBL was a brutal surgery. The hardest I have had by far. Something about that 360 degree incision played on my mind and felt very gruesome. Maybe I just thought about it too much, but it felt "not normal" and I had a harder time adjusting to it mentally than I did physically. I did become depressed after that surgery and struggled with a lot of emotions for several weeks. Fortunately, Maureen and Deluzy both called me at home to chat and work through it. They helped me a lot.
After going back to work in January, I just went through the motions for some time. I guess this was still part of the healing and adjustment period. In the spring, I started to feel like the real me again. Like I said, I got some cute new clothes and started playing dress-up just like you do when you are a little girl. I wore skirts to work, put tanning cream on my legs to help with my pale-ness and just enjoyed looking like a girly-girl again. When someone at work asked me who I was "dressing for", I simply said "for me, who else?" And I smiled for the rest of the day because it was true...
When spring arrived, I began to work in my yard to restore my garden. This has turned out to be an amazing experience. Two years ago, trying to work in my garden was what triggered my final breakdown that lead to having the WLS. At that time I could not pull weeds out of the ground for ten minutes. I would become red in the face and so worn out that I could not continue. I cried because of what bad shape I was in. I feared that I would die and never see my children and grandchildren grow up in this life. I could barely get out of bed to get to work and support myself. I was afraid I had waited too long to get the DS.
Now, I can work all day and still come home and work for 3-4 hours in the garden. Weekends, I have to make myself go inside and rest. Honestly, I do not remember the last time I had my TV on - it's much too nice outdoors to stay in!! Go to my blog at http://starrgirlsworld.blogspot.com/ to see for yourself! I never thought I could feel this good again and I often stop what I am doing outdoors to look heavenward and say "thank you" to my glorious God Jehovah for giving me this second chance at life.
Always, I appreciated the gift of life and tried so hard to diet and exercise and live healthfully to show that I wanted to do all I could to deserve the blessings that came my way. In my heart I know that I always did what I could and that is why I know beyond all reasonable doubt that morbid obesity is a disease that makes it impossible for its victims to ever be a normal weight. Normal people do not gain hundreds of pounds and couldn't do so if they tried. But some of us do and that means that we are different from normal society and need the intervention of something like the DS. And then maybe plastics to feel normal again.
So here's the bottom line ~~
1) the DS was necessary for me to regain a normal weight and eating pattern. I look forward to always being a normal weight for the rest of my life and to not developing diabetes although it is prevalent on both sides of my genetic family.
2) The plastics restored me to a normal body image and made me feel youthful in my mid-fifties. No matter that it was brutal - it was like childbirth ~ a short time out of your life, (actually a total bitch of a time!), and then you are happy with the results forever. Having a flat tummy and slim hips is the most youthful thing that could happen to me at this point in my life. Clothes are fun and I enjoy strutting my stuff in front of those stodgy fools at work who opposed my WLS in the first place....
I have had an incredible journey back from morbid obesity and the DS forum here has been a large part of my experience. Please feel free to email me with questions or comments as I would love to give you feedback and pay forward anything that I can. This experience has its price, but it is small in comparison to being morbidly obese. Ask me anything and I will tell you all that I can and what is true for me.
I am one happy, happy person since I discovered the DS!
Plastics update
Dec 19, 2006
Well, it has been a very good day. After several weeks of being in a funk (since the surgery for hernia and LBL), I've finally started to come round to myself. The water weight has dissipated somewhat - at least the four pounds I gained and the eight pounds the surgeon removed are finally showing up on the scale. And my feet and ankles look normal again. I know that there is more fluid to get rid of, but at least now I feel like I'm on target with what has transpired.
Today I had two doc appts, so I roused myself to get dressed in something other than sweats. I had been "shopping" in my closet this week and was able to pull out and wear a new pair of 14P slacks and a stretch shirt. Also a BELT ~ for the first time in about five years!! Truly, I felt unreal all day!
First stop, I had my daughter take some pics of me so that I could show everyone my progress. The clothed pics are here for everyone to see ~ if you'd like to see the surgery update pics, you need to be my "friend". So send me an inquiry if you'd like to be on the friend list.
Second, I went to my WLS appt and it had been cancelled. I had to reschedule it for January. Then I amused myself until time to see my family doc, who didn't know I had the recent corrective surgeries. When I got to that office, they went nuts over me!! It was so exciting!! Doc and the office staff were thrilled for me and thought I looked great and I offered, of course, to recommend the DS to any patient who is wavering. Doc said that he runs into this issue most days and that his patients generally think WLS is too DRASTIC. He tries to tell them that MO is DRASTIC and needs serious treatment, but it is a battle. It took him three YEARS to convince me!! Here is a doc who believes in the DS and can't convince his patients that is is the smart thing to do!!
So we had a grand time and I pirouetted as much as anyone could stand!! I am down almost 100 pounds now! Two lousy pounds to go and I'll be in the Century Club!! No sweat!!
Then, when I went to check out, the receptionist made me an appt for six months from now. "No", I said, "I always come in every three months." **pause** She double-checked and said, "no ~ you are down for SIX months..."
I retrieved my prescription and asked, "Do I have enough here to last that long?"
"Yes", she said, "He wrote your scripts for six months."
Well, glory be!! I've been coming to see this doc every three months for over 15 years. Finally, I am healthy enough to stretch that out to 2x year in the future ~ and that's just to get scripts!! My blood pressure was 120/82 (and had stayed that way, unmedicated, through the plastic surgery experience!) and I no longer take cholesterol meds. Isn't that AMAZING!!!! I am totally floored!!
I am going to write a special thank you to my PCP for sticking with me and getting me to get the DS even tho it took me three years to come around to his way of thinking. Lord, I hope that others aren't so dense!!
Meanwhile, check out my current pics. I'm not skinny, but I'm a hell of a 55 year old, folks. And I love it!! Thank God for the DS!!!
Today I had two doc appts, so I roused myself to get dressed in something other than sweats. I had been "shopping" in my closet this week and was able to pull out and wear a new pair of 14P slacks and a stretch shirt. Also a BELT ~ for the first time in about five years!! Truly, I felt unreal all day!
First stop, I had my daughter take some pics of me so that I could show everyone my progress. The clothed pics are here for everyone to see ~ if you'd like to see the surgery update pics, you need to be my "friend". So send me an inquiry if you'd like to be on the friend list.
Second, I went to my WLS appt and it had been cancelled. I had to reschedule it for January. Then I amused myself until time to see my family doc, who didn't know I had the recent corrective surgeries. When I got to that office, they went nuts over me!! It was so exciting!! Doc and the office staff were thrilled for me and thought I looked great and I offered, of course, to recommend the DS to any patient who is wavering. Doc said that he runs into this issue most days and that his patients generally think WLS is too DRASTIC. He tries to tell them that MO is DRASTIC and needs serious treatment, but it is a battle. It took him three YEARS to convince me!! Here is a doc who believes in the DS and can't convince his patients that is is the smart thing to do!!
So we had a grand time and I pirouetted as much as anyone could stand!! I am down almost 100 pounds now! Two lousy pounds to go and I'll be in the Century Club!! No sweat!!
Then, when I went to check out, the receptionist made me an appt for six months from now. "No", I said, "I always come in every three months." **pause** She double-checked and said, "no ~ you are down for SIX months..."
I retrieved my prescription and asked, "Do I have enough here to last that long?"
"Yes", she said, "He wrote your scripts for six months."
Well, glory be!! I've been coming to see this doc every three months for over 15 years. Finally, I am healthy enough to stretch that out to 2x year in the future ~ and that's just to get scripts!! My blood pressure was 120/82 (and had stayed that way, unmedicated, through the plastic surgery experience!) and I no longer take cholesterol meds. Isn't that AMAZING!!!! I am totally floored!!
I am going to write a special thank you to my PCP for sticking with me and getting me to get the DS even tho it took me three years to come around to his way of thinking. Lord, I hope that others aren't so dense!!
Meanwhile, check out my current pics. I'm not skinny, but I'm a hell of a 55 year old, folks. And I love it!! Thank God for the DS!!!
Hernia Repair and Lower Body Lift
Nov 23, 2006
Wow, I cannot believe I had another surgery and that it was 10 days ago already. My WLS was on 8/1/05 and on 11/13/06, approximately 16 months later, I had an extensive hernia repair and a lower body lift. This was my fourth surgery in less than four years, and I dreaded it from the minute it was scheduled. I wasn't unsure of doing it ~ I was just anxious about more trauma to my body and the "craziness" of having elective procedures in addition to the hernia repair. Here's the scoop.
I developed a hernia at four months out from my WLS. It just popped out one day, a bit to the right of my navel, and continued to increase in size. I'd palm my hand around it trying to gauge its size and it felt like a big ruby red grapefruit. It didn't hurt but it did get gassy most days and I could feel odd gurgling in there that seemed like it should be more on the inside than peeking out just under the skin. Bad episodes of gas DID cause pain in that area, and my weight loss was fairly slow from the time of its appearance, so I always eyed "Hernrietta" with a bit of suspicion.
In the back of my mind, I knew that it would need to be fixed but I avoided thinking about it too much. I didn't want to contemplate plastics, especially since I wasn't losing the weight very fast, and I didn't know how I would pull it all together anyway. It was a major ordeal to get off work last year for the WLS and my companions at the Evil Empire have not gotten any more sympathetic since then.
As the end of the year approached, I wondered if I should check on the hernia repair for insurance reasons. My benefits have eroded a bit each year and waiting might cost me more in the future. I'm not thin yet, but I have lost 90 pounds and wear a 16 petite, which is normal enough for me to be quite happy. More importantly, I feel VERY good - a big change from the past few years of being morbidly obese on top of various health problems and disabilities. In fact, if it weren't for Hernrietta, I'd probably be a 14P, and I'd really be happy with that!
In September, my PCP gave me a referral to Dr C, a plastics guy he thought could fix the hernia and do a tummy tuck at the same time. I also got a referral to Dr J from my weight loss surgeon, another plastics guy. Dr C charged $100 for a consult and recommended the TT, but said he would have to work in concert with my weight loss surgeon as he only does plastics and would not repair the hernia. So I would have to schedule both surgeons and pay for the plastics, about $5500.
Dr J turned out to be BOTH a general surgeon and a plastic surgeon and said he could do the whole procedure. His consult was at no charge and he spent a good amount of time explaining things to me and drawing me pictures. He recommended the lower body lift because he said that when you have been morbidly obese, you have been heavy all over, not just in the front. If you don't take out some of that back excess, then it is somewhat worsened by fixing just the front. It is still an improvement to have just the TT, but if you are having the surgery, it is something to think about. Dr J pinched and lifted me in front of the mirror so that I could see what the difference would be. He mentioned that he's had more than one patient do the TT and then come back for the rest of the LBL because they just weren't satisfied with the TT alone. (horrors!)
Dr J also made an interesting comment ~ he said that general surgeons usually repair hernias with mesh, but plastic surgeons prefer more technical methods that require a bit more skill and rely more on expertise than mesh. Not that you can always get away from mesh, but he prided himself on doing the repair without it. Hmmm. Now I had some thinking to do.
I called Dr C's office and told him what Dr J's "second opinion" to me was and asked what he thought. He thought that the TT would be adequate and that at my age, it wouldn't be necessary to do the LBL. I wouldn't be THAT lopsided! But I looked in the mirror and studied the online photos more closely (google lower body lift to find photos yourself!), and I could see that it would make a considerable difference. I was torn. I liked Dr C's "manner" the best, but I liked Dr J's approach better. And as a professor in the teaching hospital, it seemed like he was up on all the latest. But it would mean $7500 cash up front for doc, hospital and anesthesia for the parts the hernia wouldn't cover.
I don't have money and no nest egg to speak of, but I scrounged every resource I had until I came up with almost enough. I scheduled the surgery and started budgeting. And then I got nervous. Yeh, the hernia had to be fixed, but the LBL would be an additional 360 degree cut around the high hip. That seemed scary to me. And I had to break the news to the evil empire that I was gonna take off for surgery again. Dicey business, legal or not.
Somehow I made it though those weeks leading up to surgery and set off for the hospital on Monday morning, Nov 13th. I was edgy and afraid. I had this feeling of unreality like I couldn't believe I was doing this. It unsettled me greatly as I did not suffer any anxiety going into the WLS. I wondered if this was some kind of warning I wasn't heeding, but every time I thought through it, I concluded that I was only doing what I was ready and willing to do. I was just scared.
The surgery took 5 hours and I woke up in recovery without the dreaded nausea. Hooray - one hurdle crossed. The recovery nurse was attentive and kept me good company as I came round. I wasn't in too much pain and I was relieved that the surgery itself was over. Soon I got into a room.
First surprise - I went to push the morphine button and there wasn't one! Somehow orders for the morphine pump had not made it onto my chart even though I had specifically discussed pain control with the surgeon in advance. It took four hours to get the morphine pump in place, during which I became short of breath and had to go on oxygen. But finally I was comfortable and settled in to rest for the night.
Wrong. My room mate was a lady with dementia who was strapped in her bed. She cried out constantly to no avail - the nurses rarely responded to her. In desperation, she escaped from her bed, only to fall into mine across my legs. I was beyond startled by this and called for nurse. I was ignored while they got the lady (MM) back to bed. Twice more MM came reeling through the curtain and bounced off me to keep her balance. She tore her IV out of her arm, peed on the floor and walked in it and moaned all night. She turned the lights and the TV off and on all through the night, thinking she hadn't pushed the right button. When she finally fell alsleep, the nurse asked me to be very quiet so as to not wake her! My own pleas to be moved had fallen on deaf ears, so I just hoped MM would stay asleep. She did for a few hours.
Meanwhile, my pain meds arrived 1.5 - 2 hours late each time despite my complaints. In the morning, MM awoke and started in again. I stopped an aide and demanded to be moved. When the aide said she didn't think there were any rooms, I said that I needed to be moved or I was going to have a breakdown and I wasn't kidding. Soon, people swarmed the room and moved MM, who was frightened by the whole process and wanted to know where she was being taken. I felt awful for her.
I was told that they could not guarantee that they would not move someone else into the room, but they would try to hold off as long as other rooms were available. Thankfully, it stayed quiet all day and I slept except when waiting for pain meds. Oh - and I bled a lot. I could feel it on my back, but no one checked me the whole day. The doctor had been in poking around and peeking under the binder, but that was it. By late Tuesday, I asked when I would be gotten up to move around. Surprised, the nurse said she didn't know I hadn't been up! She helped me sit up on the side of the bed and dangle my legs.
The bed was a mess, so they changed the padding, but on me, they just stuffed more bandages under the binder to stem the flow. I was too out of it to protest. I was in a fog all of Tuesday night and told my kids to stay home so I could sleep - I literally could not hold my eyes open and fell asleep while taking bites of food.
Wednesday morning they removed the catheter and I asked to get up and walk - I still hadn't been up! Again, they changed the bed, but not me. One nurse saw me and exclaimed, "why haven't those bandages been changed?" but I certainly did not have the answer. She was also surprised that I had been eating for two days when I had not passed gas or had a BM, but no one had asked - they just set trays in front of me that stayed there for hours and hours. I'd take bites of what I could reach even though I couldn't sit up. I spilled water on myself several times trying to get a drink without a straw. I wasn't to myself enough to ask for one and one had not been offered.
Late Wednesday morning I woke up to find that my IV had come out and there was blood running down my arm and neck. I rang the call button. An aide came in but had to go get the nurse. The nurse removed the mess but said she didn't have time to start a new IV as she had another patient to admit. I began to cry. I said that I needed the IV to get my pain meds, which were overdue. The nurse left the room. I got myself into a sitting position and found that I was again laying in a puddle of bloody drainage. The aide came back to find me crying and she helped me get to the bathroom so that she could change the bed. Meanwhile, the nurse did come back to change the IV but wouldn't wait for me to come out of the bathroom. She said she had cleared a "30 second window" to take care of my IV but I had blown it by going to the bathroom. Sorry.
About that time the phone rang and it was my daughter. I told her to find someone to come up to that hospital and get me out immediately ~ I couldn't stand it any longer. Just then the resident doc came in and wanted to know why I was so upset. I told him that the response time on the pain medication was hideous, that I had lain in a puddle of waste for two days and I didn't understand why the nurses didn't even have priorities when it came to patient care. 30 second window???
Resident doc thought I should stay another day but agreed that I could go home if I really wanted to. I said I would like to stay another day, but I need pain meds on time and dressings changed. He sent for someone to change my bandages - for the first time! The nurse began to complain so I told him I wanted to go home. He said he would discharge me and I could leave in 15 minutes.
Doc left the room and the nurse said it was too bad he said I could leave in 15 minutes because she hadn't had lunch yet and she was not discharging me until she had. I protested but she left the room and did not come back for over two hours. When she did come back, she did the paperwork and handed me my clothes and said "get dressed". I got my sweats on myself and asked my son to come in and put my socks on. The nurse came back in and commented that she was just one person and could only do so much - I said that I was just one patient and could only take so much and that I was glad to leave. The nurse told the aide with the wheelchair "don't let her walk -she had a big surgery" and off we went. I felt like I was escaping something awful.
So that is the hospital experience. I need to take a break here and then I will detail the surgery and recovery so far. I do tend to write a book when I get started, so if you have read all of this you are very patient! More details in a bit...
Part Two - at Home
I didn't particularly feel ready to go home - I felt more like I'd been run over by a bus, but I was near an emotional meltdown in the hospital. Did I mention the construction noise?? Oy!
Thankfully, I already had my prescriptions filled and I had done some shopping per Maureen's suggestions. Those things saved me! AND I was able to crawl directly into my own bed and lay on a strategically placed tower of pillows that simulated the raised back of the hospital bed. That was the only position I could maintain, but it was doable. It wasn't long, however, before I had bled through the back bandages and had to call for help.
My daughter returned to my house and we got me into the bathroom and all unwrapped for a good look. It was rather frightening. The incisions were glued shut on the surface, but they went vertically from sternum to pubic bone and 360 degrees horizontally around the high hip. Two drains were keeping the front from weeping, but the back was a bruised and bloody mess. A 2"-3" band across the back was black. The thin bandages didn't hold much at all and both binders were badly soiled. I had been instructed on how to empty the drains and measure the fluid, but the nurse had forgotten to put the measuring cups in my bag. Imagine that. Ellyn went to the drugstore for reinforcements.
Maureen had told me that Kotex are much more absorbant, and indeed, they were a perfect size to tape together in a ring around my hip. The binder held it all in place. Ellyn soaked the other binder and took my clothes and towels home to wash. We repeated this routine about four times a day to keep up with the bleeding out my back. I felt a bit better each time we changed the dressings and got the binder back on, but it was very unreal to look at myself in the mirror, both with and without the dressings.
Nekkid, things are all new. The big ole floppy belly and midriff is GONE and I've been pulled tight as a drum both up and down and across. It FEELS tight, too. Not so tight that I can't breathe, but like I've been trussed. There is not normal sensation in the skin, just tightness and then discomfort when the pain meds wear off. I can only lay on my back with my upper back raised a bit and I get very tired of that one position. I cannot get back in my recliner on my own - even at the lowest tension, I cannot push it back. If someone else gets me in it, I can get back out on my own.
I can't feel anything from the hernia even though Doc said it was larger than he expected and that there was a second one above it. He opened a path between the two and repaired the whole thing. He then tightened the muscles over all of that. Maybe that is the tightness I am constantly aware of.
I've been back to the doctor twice already and one of the drains in front has been removed. I don't really mind the other one still being in as it drains a lot and I can see the non-drain side starting to swell where it isn't draining like it did with the drain installed. I am holding a lot of water, I can tell. I got on the scale the other day and I have GAINED four pounds, so it has to be fluid. Besides, the surgeon removed 8 pounds of skin, so that is 12 pounds I know that is not really me showing up on the scale. I looked it up and a gallon of water weighs 8.3 pounds, so I'm guessing I've got a gallon and a half stored right now. My ankles and feet are swollen, but I think the edema must be pretty normal after this surgery. The body is calling on all resources and four feet of incisions is trauma, let me tell ya!
It took me several days at home just to get my mind adjusted. The hospital experience was extremely draining emotionally even though I tend to handle pain fairly well. I felt very un-cared for and it made me feel somewhat frightened and alone. I found it very unsettling to be helpless and at the mercy of caregivers who were not even very nice. I am not contrary and demanding by nature and I found it stressful to assert myself just to get basic care. I was deeply disturbed by the lack of courtesy and compassion, both to me and poor MM. I had some bad dreams for a couple days and felt like withdrawing into myself more than usual. I still feel very vulnerable with these massive incisions and I'm not entirely sure why. This was partially an elective surgery, but I feel almost as though I was attacked in some sense.
So this has been a difficult time for me in ways I didn't really expect and I will be glad when it is all healed up. I don't want to face another surgery for a very long time even though I'm sure this one will have been worth it when it is all said and done. I'm still looking for a comfortable spot to rest, but the drainage is considerably better and more manageable. The bruising has gone down a lot already and so far, the insicion is holding together all the way around. Bits of itchiness are starting, so that is a good sign that healing is taking place.
I talked to Maureen today, who has done so much to reassure me through this whole process. With her for emotional support and my daughter being a fabulous nurse, I've hung on through a lot of turmoil. If you are considering having these same procedures done, please line up your support persons. This has not been an easy surgery and I could not totally care for myself after it like I did after the WLS. But I am on the mend and have lots of drugs on hand! Phew!!
Thanks to the OH board friends for your support as well.
I developed a hernia at four months out from my WLS. It just popped out one day, a bit to the right of my navel, and continued to increase in size. I'd palm my hand around it trying to gauge its size and it felt like a big ruby red grapefruit. It didn't hurt but it did get gassy most days and I could feel odd gurgling in there that seemed like it should be more on the inside than peeking out just under the skin. Bad episodes of gas DID cause pain in that area, and my weight loss was fairly slow from the time of its appearance, so I always eyed "Hernrietta" with a bit of suspicion.
In the back of my mind, I knew that it would need to be fixed but I avoided thinking about it too much. I didn't want to contemplate plastics, especially since I wasn't losing the weight very fast, and I didn't know how I would pull it all together anyway. It was a major ordeal to get off work last year for the WLS and my companions at the Evil Empire have not gotten any more sympathetic since then.
As the end of the year approached, I wondered if I should check on the hernia repair for insurance reasons. My benefits have eroded a bit each year and waiting might cost me more in the future. I'm not thin yet, but I have lost 90 pounds and wear a 16 petite, which is normal enough for me to be quite happy. More importantly, I feel VERY good - a big change from the past few years of being morbidly obese on top of various health problems and disabilities. In fact, if it weren't for Hernrietta, I'd probably be a 14P, and I'd really be happy with that!
In September, my PCP gave me a referral to Dr C, a plastics guy he thought could fix the hernia and do a tummy tuck at the same time. I also got a referral to Dr J from my weight loss surgeon, another plastics guy. Dr C charged $100 for a consult and recommended the TT, but said he would have to work in concert with my weight loss surgeon as he only does plastics and would not repair the hernia. So I would have to schedule both surgeons and pay for the plastics, about $5500.
Dr J turned out to be BOTH a general surgeon and a plastic surgeon and said he could do the whole procedure. His consult was at no charge and he spent a good amount of time explaining things to me and drawing me pictures. He recommended the lower body lift because he said that when you have been morbidly obese, you have been heavy all over, not just in the front. If you don't take out some of that back excess, then it is somewhat worsened by fixing just the front. It is still an improvement to have just the TT, but if you are having the surgery, it is something to think about. Dr J pinched and lifted me in front of the mirror so that I could see what the difference would be. He mentioned that he's had more than one patient do the TT and then come back for the rest of the LBL because they just weren't satisfied with the TT alone. (horrors!)
Dr J also made an interesting comment ~ he said that general surgeons usually repair hernias with mesh, but plastic surgeons prefer more technical methods that require a bit more skill and rely more on expertise than mesh. Not that you can always get away from mesh, but he prided himself on doing the repair without it. Hmmm. Now I had some thinking to do.
I called Dr C's office and told him what Dr J's "second opinion" to me was and asked what he thought. He thought that the TT would be adequate and that at my age, it wouldn't be necessary to do the LBL. I wouldn't be THAT lopsided! But I looked in the mirror and studied the online photos more closely (google lower body lift to find photos yourself!), and I could see that it would make a considerable difference. I was torn. I liked Dr C's "manner" the best, but I liked Dr J's approach better. And as a professor in the teaching hospital, it seemed like he was up on all the latest. But it would mean $7500 cash up front for doc, hospital and anesthesia for the parts the hernia wouldn't cover.
I don't have money and no nest egg to speak of, but I scrounged every resource I had until I came up with almost enough. I scheduled the surgery and started budgeting. And then I got nervous. Yeh, the hernia had to be fixed, but the LBL would be an additional 360 degree cut around the high hip. That seemed scary to me. And I had to break the news to the evil empire that I was gonna take off for surgery again. Dicey business, legal or not.
Somehow I made it though those weeks leading up to surgery and set off for the hospital on Monday morning, Nov 13th. I was edgy and afraid. I had this feeling of unreality like I couldn't believe I was doing this. It unsettled me greatly as I did not suffer any anxiety going into the WLS. I wondered if this was some kind of warning I wasn't heeding, but every time I thought through it, I concluded that I was only doing what I was ready and willing to do. I was just scared.
The surgery took 5 hours and I woke up in recovery without the dreaded nausea. Hooray - one hurdle crossed. The recovery nurse was attentive and kept me good company as I came round. I wasn't in too much pain and I was relieved that the surgery itself was over. Soon I got into a room.
First surprise - I went to push the morphine button and there wasn't one! Somehow orders for the morphine pump had not made it onto my chart even though I had specifically discussed pain control with the surgeon in advance. It took four hours to get the morphine pump in place, during which I became short of breath and had to go on oxygen. But finally I was comfortable and settled in to rest for the night.
Wrong. My room mate was a lady with dementia who was strapped in her bed. She cried out constantly to no avail - the nurses rarely responded to her. In desperation, she escaped from her bed, only to fall into mine across my legs. I was beyond startled by this and called for nurse. I was ignored while they got the lady (MM) back to bed. Twice more MM came reeling through the curtain and bounced off me to keep her balance. She tore her IV out of her arm, peed on the floor and walked in it and moaned all night. She turned the lights and the TV off and on all through the night, thinking she hadn't pushed the right button. When she finally fell alsleep, the nurse asked me to be very quiet so as to not wake her! My own pleas to be moved had fallen on deaf ears, so I just hoped MM would stay asleep. She did for a few hours.
Meanwhile, my pain meds arrived 1.5 - 2 hours late each time despite my complaints. In the morning, MM awoke and started in again. I stopped an aide and demanded to be moved. When the aide said she didn't think there were any rooms, I said that I needed to be moved or I was going to have a breakdown and I wasn't kidding. Soon, people swarmed the room and moved MM, who was frightened by the whole process and wanted to know where she was being taken. I felt awful for her.
I was told that they could not guarantee that they would not move someone else into the room, but they would try to hold off as long as other rooms were available. Thankfully, it stayed quiet all day and I slept except when waiting for pain meds. Oh - and I bled a lot. I could feel it on my back, but no one checked me the whole day. The doctor had been in poking around and peeking under the binder, but that was it. By late Tuesday, I asked when I would be gotten up to move around. Surprised, the nurse said she didn't know I hadn't been up! She helped me sit up on the side of the bed and dangle my legs.
The bed was a mess, so they changed the padding, but on me, they just stuffed more bandages under the binder to stem the flow. I was too out of it to protest. I was in a fog all of Tuesday night and told my kids to stay home so I could sleep - I literally could not hold my eyes open and fell asleep while taking bites of food.
Wednesday morning they removed the catheter and I asked to get up and walk - I still hadn't been up! Again, they changed the bed, but not me. One nurse saw me and exclaimed, "why haven't those bandages been changed?" but I certainly did not have the answer. She was also surprised that I had been eating for two days when I had not passed gas or had a BM, but no one had asked - they just set trays in front of me that stayed there for hours and hours. I'd take bites of what I could reach even though I couldn't sit up. I spilled water on myself several times trying to get a drink without a straw. I wasn't to myself enough to ask for one and one had not been offered.
Late Wednesday morning I woke up to find that my IV had come out and there was blood running down my arm and neck. I rang the call button. An aide came in but had to go get the nurse. The nurse removed the mess but said she didn't have time to start a new IV as she had another patient to admit. I began to cry. I said that I needed the IV to get my pain meds, which were overdue. The nurse left the room. I got myself into a sitting position and found that I was again laying in a puddle of bloody drainage. The aide came back to find me crying and she helped me get to the bathroom so that she could change the bed. Meanwhile, the nurse did come back to change the IV but wouldn't wait for me to come out of the bathroom. She said she had cleared a "30 second window" to take care of my IV but I had blown it by going to the bathroom. Sorry.
About that time the phone rang and it was my daughter. I told her to find someone to come up to that hospital and get me out immediately ~ I couldn't stand it any longer. Just then the resident doc came in and wanted to know why I was so upset. I told him that the response time on the pain medication was hideous, that I had lain in a puddle of waste for two days and I didn't understand why the nurses didn't even have priorities when it came to patient care. 30 second window???
Resident doc thought I should stay another day but agreed that I could go home if I really wanted to. I said I would like to stay another day, but I need pain meds on time and dressings changed. He sent for someone to change my bandages - for the first time! The nurse began to complain so I told him I wanted to go home. He said he would discharge me and I could leave in 15 minutes.
Doc left the room and the nurse said it was too bad he said I could leave in 15 minutes because she hadn't had lunch yet and she was not discharging me until she had. I protested but she left the room and did not come back for over two hours. When she did come back, she did the paperwork and handed me my clothes and said "get dressed". I got my sweats on myself and asked my son to come in and put my socks on. The nurse came back in and commented that she was just one person and could only do so much - I said that I was just one patient and could only take so much and that I was glad to leave. The nurse told the aide with the wheelchair "don't let her walk -she had a big surgery" and off we went. I felt like I was escaping something awful.
So that is the hospital experience. I need to take a break here and then I will detail the surgery and recovery so far. I do tend to write a book when I get started, so if you have read all of this you are very patient! More details in a bit...
Part Two - at Home
I didn't particularly feel ready to go home - I felt more like I'd been run over by a bus, but I was near an emotional meltdown in the hospital. Did I mention the construction noise?? Oy!
Thankfully, I already had my prescriptions filled and I had done some shopping per Maureen's suggestions. Those things saved me! AND I was able to crawl directly into my own bed and lay on a strategically placed tower of pillows that simulated the raised back of the hospital bed. That was the only position I could maintain, but it was doable. It wasn't long, however, before I had bled through the back bandages and had to call for help.
My daughter returned to my house and we got me into the bathroom and all unwrapped for a good look. It was rather frightening. The incisions were glued shut on the surface, but they went vertically from sternum to pubic bone and 360 degrees horizontally around the high hip. Two drains were keeping the front from weeping, but the back was a bruised and bloody mess. A 2"-3" band across the back was black. The thin bandages didn't hold much at all and both binders were badly soiled. I had been instructed on how to empty the drains and measure the fluid, but the nurse had forgotten to put the measuring cups in my bag. Imagine that. Ellyn went to the drugstore for reinforcements.
Maureen had told me that Kotex are much more absorbant, and indeed, they were a perfect size to tape together in a ring around my hip. The binder held it all in place. Ellyn soaked the other binder and took my clothes and towels home to wash. We repeated this routine about four times a day to keep up with the bleeding out my back. I felt a bit better each time we changed the dressings and got the binder back on, but it was very unreal to look at myself in the mirror, both with and without the dressings.
Nekkid, things are all new. The big ole floppy belly and midriff is GONE and I've been pulled tight as a drum both up and down and across. It FEELS tight, too. Not so tight that I can't breathe, but like I've been trussed. There is not normal sensation in the skin, just tightness and then discomfort when the pain meds wear off. I can only lay on my back with my upper back raised a bit and I get very tired of that one position. I cannot get back in my recliner on my own - even at the lowest tension, I cannot push it back. If someone else gets me in it, I can get back out on my own.
I can't feel anything from the hernia even though Doc said it was larger than he expected and that there was a second one above it. He opened a path between the two and repaired the whole thing. He then tightened the muscles over all of that. Maybe that is the tightness I am constantly aware of.
I've been back to the doctor twice already and one of the drains in front has been removed. I don't really mind the other one still being in as it drains a lot and I can see the non-drain side starting to swell where it isn't draining like it did with the drain installed. I am holding a lot of water, I can tell. I got on the scale the other day and I have GAINED four pounds, so it has to be fluid. Besides, the surgeon removed 8 pounds of skin, so that is 12 pounds I know that is not really me showing up on the scale. I looked it up and a gallon of water weighs 8.3 pounds, so I'm guessing I've got a gallon and a half stored right now. My ankles and feet are swollen, but I think the edema must be pretty normal after this surgery. The body is calling on all resources and four feet of incisions is trauma, let me tell ya!
It took me several days at home just to get my mind adjusted. The hospital experience was extremely draining emotionally even though I tend to handle pain fairly well. I felt very un-cared for and it made me feel somewhat frightened and alone. I found it very unsettling to be helpless and at the mercy of caregivers who were not even very nice. I am not contrary and demanding by nature and I found it stressful to assert myself just to get basic care. I was deeply disturbed by the lack of courtesy and compassion, both to me and poor MM. I had some bad dreams for a couple days and felt like withdrawing into myself more than usual. I still feel very vulnerable with these massive incisions and I'm not entirely sure why. This was partially an elective surgery, but I feel almost as though I was attacked in some sense.
So this has been a difficult time for me in ways I didn't really expect and I will be glad when it is all healed up. I don't want to face another surgery for a very long time even though I'm sure this one will have been worth it when it is all said and done. I'm still looking for a comfortable spot to rest, but the drainage is considerably better and more manageable. The bruising has gone down a lot already and so far, the insicion is holding together all the way around. Bits of itchiness are starting, so that is a good sign that healing is taking place.
I talked to Maureen today, who has done so much to reassure me through this whole process. With her for emotional support and my daughter being a fabulous nurse, I've hung on through a lot of turmoil. If you are considering having these same procedures done, please line up your support persons. This has not been an easy surgery and I could not totally care for myself after it like I did after the WLS. But I am on the mend and have lots of drugs on hand! Phew!!
Thanks to the OH board friends for your support as well.
8/1/2006
Jul 31, 2006
ONE YEAR TODAY
Wow ~ one year already. Isn't it amazing how your sense of time is tied to what is going on in your life? A year ago I was dying a slow death - both literally and figuratively. I felt terrible and I was pushing myself through the days, waiting on the surgery and feeling like it would never get here. Sometimes I counted the hours because the days felt too long while waiting. How miserable that was!
Now I am 80 pounds lighter and feel worlds better. Time races by again while I never get everything done I would like to do. I feel pretty good and my recent bloodwork had some very good results. I went back to the endocrinologist, who did not find anything metabolic wrong with me, but who was amazed by the improvement in my blood levels. My cholesterol was low - the good part high and the bad part low, just like it should be. Triglycerides were low normal, blood pressure was normal and all the vitamins, calcium, iron and protein were good except one. Vitamin D was seriously low so I am taking a prescription strength of that to bring it back up. It appears that I am not absorbing it to any extent. But to get all the dangerous things back to normal levels was remarkable in his view. I do think he is wrong about my metabolism - Fern from the boards sent me a great article about thyroid issues and I would bet money that even though I always test normal for those, something is not working right. The women in the article had been through numerous doctors before they got a correct diagnosis and I just know that is the case with me. But I have plead my case and spent my money time after time to no avail. And though I found the endo doc pleasant enough, I don't think he was cutting edge or anything and his office staff was downright rude. I'll go back one more time to get the vitamin A stuff checked and then I will have them transfer my records back to the surgeon for future followups.
Meanwhile, you will notice that I said I am down 80 pounds?? Yep - that was a nine pound loss in month twelve for me - finally!! A decent loss! So I think I have time to get some more off, however slow it wants to be. If I can just get down 20-25 pounds more, I can get the darn hernia fixed and hopefully some abdominal work. I've got some pounds that can go there. I took a look over at the plastic surgery forum and there is an amazing difference when that work gets done. I don't relish any more surgery, but the hernia has got to go, and when it does, some of this tum-tum is going with it. That should pretty much put me where I want to be and where I would be very comfortable if it stopped right there. Anything more would be a bonus.
So I'm not a bathing beauty, but I'm doing well and I feel like I'm looking at a much healthier future. I focus so much less these days on weight issues - I honestly think more about other things and other interests in my life. It's a wonderful liberation not to be obsessed with food and weight anymore. Someone who's never experienced that obsession would just never comprehend it and even now, I am forgetting what it was like to have that be with me every day. Yes, I still want to be thinner, but only because I know I am not finished with this journey and I would like to get to the end of it soon. I'm a bit envious of those who get it all off fast and get the plastics done, but I am comfortable enough now to be patient while I travel the rest of the way. I am so thankful for this surgery and the quality of life it has returned to me. And I am grateful to the many friends here who have shared my tears and laughter along the way. Thank you all for your warmth and support and encouragement - I'll keep posting updates when there's something to share and I'll be looking for yours. Newbies, take heart - you'll be saying these same things a year from now...
Wow ~ one year already. Isn't it amazing how your sense of time is tied to what is going on in your life? A year ago I was dying a slow death - both literally and figuratively. I felt terrible and I was pushing myself through the days, waiting on the surgery and feeling like it would never get here. Sometimes I counted the hours because the days felt too long while waiting. How miserable that was!Now I am 80 pounds lighter and feel worlds better. Time races by again while I never get everything done I would like to do. I feel pretty good and my recent bloodwork had some very good results. I went back to the endocrinologist, who did not find anything metabolic wrong with me, but who was amazed by the improvement in my blood levels. My cholesterol was low - the good part high and the bad part low, just like it should be. Triglycerides were low normal, blood pressure was normal and all the vitamins, calcium, iron and protein were good except one. Vitamin D was seriously low so I am taking a prescription strength of that to bring it back up. It appears that I am not absorbing it to any extent. But to get all the dangerous things back to normal levels was remarkable in his view. I do think he is wrong about my metabolism - Fern from the boards sent me a great article about thyroid issues and I would bet money that even though I always test normal for those, something is not working right. The women in the article had been through numerous doctors before they got a correct diagnosis and I just know that is the case with me. But I have plead my case and spent my money time after time to no avail. And though I found the endo doc pleasant enough, I don't think he was cutting edge or anything and his office staff was downright rude. I'll go back one more time to get the vitamin A stuff checked and then I will have them transfer my records back to the surgeon for future followups.
Meanwhile, you will notice that I said I am down 80 pounds?? Yep - that was a nine pound loss in month twelve for me - finally!! A decent loss! So I think I have time to get some more off, however slow it wants to be. If I can just get down 20-25 pounds more, I can get the darn hernia fixed and hopefully some abdominal work. I've got some pounds that can go there. I took a look over at the plastic surgery forum and there is an amazing difference when that work gets done. I don't relish any more surgery, but the hernia has got to go, and when it does, some of this tum-tum is going with it. That should pretty much put me where I want to be and where I would be very comfortable if it stopped right there. Anything more would be a bonus.
So I'm not a bathing beauty, but I'm doing well and I feel like I'm looking at a much healthier future. I focus so much less these days on weight issues - I honestly think more about other things and other interests in my life. It's a wonderful liberation not to be obsessed with food and weight anymore. Someone who's never experienced that obsession would just never comprehend it and even now, I am forgetting what it was like to have that be with me every day. Yes, I still want to be thinner, but only because I know I am not finished with this journey and I would like to get to the end of it soon. I'm a bit envious of those who get it all off fast and get the plastics done, but I am comfortable enough now to be patient while I travel the rest of the way. I am so thankful for this surgery and the quality of life it has returned to me. And I am grateful to the many friends here who have shared my tears and laughter along the way. Thank you all for your warmth and support and encouragement - I'll keep posting updates when there's something to share and I'll be looking for yours. Newbies, take heart - you'll be saying these same things a year from now...
7/7/2006
Jul 06, 2006
Well, no celebrating yet! I actually dipped down to 200 on the nose for two days last month and then back to 204 where I was most of the month. I have very mixed feelings about this. I desperately want to be under 200 - in less than a month I will be a year out from surgery and this is torturing me! I find it very difficult to post on the board now because everyone has passed me by, and not by just a little - by a lot. Now the ones who had surgery this year are passing me. I don't begrudge anyone their long-awaited success, but it makes me feel worse than it should.
On the other hand, I feel quite good other than some tiredness from time to time. I recently spent a few days with my sister and met up with my mom and brother for dinner and we took a picture. I am pleased with how I look; I'm wearing a regular size large top (both my mom and sis said "a plain L???") and I said yep!, so that was fun. And I think I am shrinking some even while the weight refuses to budge. I'm sure I could wear a size or two smaller pants if not for BOB (big ole belly) and Hernrietta, which seems to be getting bigger. How, oh how am I going to get down to where I can get those things repaired??
Meanwhile, I did visit an endocrinologist last week for an exam. He said that he didn't see anything blatant about me or in my history to indicate any problems so he ordered labs. Six vials of blood were drawn and I go back on the 24th for the results. I expect to be found perfectly normal, but at least the testing will have been done. I'll post more when I know something.
I am so glad I had the DS because I do feel good and I am enjoying my life again. I work in the garden and get myself around and about so much better now. I'd just like to lose a bit more and get the repair work done even if I never get skinny. Life is good.
On the other hand, I feel quite good other than some tiredness from time to time. I recently spent a few days with my sister and met up with my mom and brother for dinner and we took a picture. I am pleased with how I look; I'm wearing a regular size large top (both my mom and sis said "a plain L???") and I said yep!, so that was fun. And I think I am shrinking some even while the weight refuses to budge. I'm sure I could wear a size or two smaller pants if not for BOB (big ole belly) and Hernrietta, which seems to be getting bigger. How, oh how am I going to get down to where I can get those things repaired??
Meanwhile, I did visit an endocrinologist last week for an exam. He said that he didn't see anything blatant about me or in my history to indicate any problems so he ordered labs. Six vials of blood were drawn and I go back on the 24th for the results. I expect to be found perfectly normal, but at least the testing will have been done. I'll post more when I know something.
I am so glad I had the DS because I do feel good and I am enjoying my life again. I work in the garden and get myself around and about so much better now. I'd just like to lose a bit more and get the repair work done even if I never get skinny. Life is good.
6/4/2006
Jun 03, 2006
NEW UPDATE!
My goodness, I haven't updated here in forever. Mostly because it has been discouraging to me. I have been very compliant with the surgery, and indeed it is a huge relief that I CANNOT overeat anymore!! I barely make a dent in normal meals, but I do want something to eat again in a couple hours. And so I have gotten very comfortable with choosing some sort of protein for the upcoming meal and adding a bit of variety to fill it out. I am not a carb-nazi, although I may have to become one, and I eat some bites of potato or rice or bread with my meals. I really cannot tolerate much bread, so I throw most of it away when having a sandwich.
My last few months have been extremely slow concerning weight loss. I last posted here when I was 4 months out and down 45 pounds. My losses since then have been: month 5 - 10 pounds, month 6 - 5 pounds, month 7 - 3 pounds, month 8 - 2 pounds, month 9 - 3 pounds, and month 10 (June 1, 2006) - 0 pounds!! ACCCKKKK!!!
This is very hard to take when one has struggled with weight problems her entire adult life, so I really do have to look on the bright side of things. What is that? Well, for one, I have my energy back. I'm sure it could be better, but compared to a year ago it is downright fantastic. Last year I was completely unable to take care of my home and yard and I struggled to get out of bed each morning to go to work. I was in serious danger of losing everything. Now I can work on the job as needed and that often includes overtime. I am also able to get out in my flowerbeds and take care of things. I wake up ready to face the day and whatever challenges that brings and that is enough to get me out of bed in the morning!!
Meanwhile, I have asked my surgeon for a referral to an endocrinologist just to be sure that there isn't something physical I can do to get my "cave-man metabolism" back in line. My PCP assures me that if there were a world famine, I would be the last one left! But since I'm not expecting that to happen and I would rather not have the honor, I want to know if there is anything about my slow metabolism that can be fixed. Both my PCP and my DS surgeon say "no" but I won't be happy with that answer until I have it confirmed for myself.
My goodness, I haven't updated here in forever. Mostly because it has been discouraging to me. I have been very compliant with the surgery, and indeed it is a huge relief that I CANNOT overeat anymore!! I barely make a dent in normal meals, but I do want something to eat again in a couple hours. And so I have gotten very comfortable with choosing some sort of protein for the upcoming meal and adding a bit of variety to fill it out. I am not a carb-nazi, although I may have to become one, and I eat some bites of potato or rice or bread with my meals. I really cannot tolerate much bread, so I throw most of it away when having a sandwich.My last few months have been extremely slow concerning weight loss. I last posted here when I was 4 months out and down 45 pounds. My losses since then have been: month 5 - 10 pounds, month 6 - 5 pounds, month 7 - 3 pounds, month 8 - 2 pounds, month 9 - 3 pounds, and month 10 (June 1, 2006) - 0 pounds!! ACCCKKKK!!!
This is very hard to take when one has struggled with weight problems her entire adult life, so I really do have to look on the bright side of things. What is that? Well, for one, I have my energy back. I'm sure it could be better, but compared to a year ago it is downright fantastic. Last year I was completely unable to take care of my home and yard and I struggled to get out of bed each morning to go to work. I was in serious danger of losing everything. Now I can work on the job as needed and that often includes overtime. I am also able to get out in my flowerbeds and take care of things. I wake up ready to face the day and whatever challenges that brings and that is enough to get me out of bed in the morning!!
Meanwhile, I have asked my surgeon for a referral to an endocrinologist just to be sure that there isn't something physical I can do to get my "cave-man metabolism" back in line. My PCP assures me that if there were a world famine, I would be the last one left! But since I'm not expecting that to happen and I would rather not have the honor, I want to know if there is anything about my slow metabolism that can be fixed. Both my PCP and my DS surgeon say "no" but I won't be happy with that answer until I have it confirmed for myself.
12/04/2005
Dec 03, 2005
THREE & FOUR MONTHS OUT
Well, I finked out at three months. I was discouraged. My weight hadstalled and to make a long story short, I weighed the same at 14 weeks as I did at 8 weeks. There was much gnashing of teeth on my part until the scale finally made a drop in the 15th week. I'm sure that it was all perfectly normal, and I am weaning off the diuretics and blood pressure medicine, but it was not making me very happy. So, for month three - drumroll please - a whopping three pounds. Gee, that still sounds dismal. But I haven't started exercising and I do eat some carbs at most meals, so that is my sad tale. I'm sure I could do more to boost this, but I'm in a sort of catch 22. I want more weight off my knees before I put much pressure on them and I've been too tired and out of sorts to try to work swimming into my schedule. I'm just a big baby sometimes.
Then, at four months, which was December first, 2005, I was down 7 more pounds for a total of 45 pounds. Seven is not spectacular either, but it was painless and 45 is a good solid number. I still don't feel a whole lot different and I don't get much feedback in the outside world so I've done my share of complaining on the forum. They have encouraged me to take some pics, which I have delayed doing. I was waiting for the big 5-0, but you know what? I'm almost there. So today, 12-4-05, I experimented with my digital camera and the tripod. Using the timer, I took my own pics and I am surprised to see that there is indeed a difference. Actually, I never posted a photo at my highest weight because it was just too painful, but I can definitely see a difference in these new photos. It will only get better from here...
Meanwhile, my eating is very normal and I can even tolerate a bit of pasta now. My tastes are normal and the bathroom routine is fairly predictable. I still cannot ignore any "urges" or I'm in danger of having an accident! But it's all controllable and all good at this point. I need to get with the program and start working this "tool" better. I think I will feel more like doing that soon - I've got enough weight off to feel better and seeing the changes in these photos is very encouraging.
I'll be back at five months to start off the new year right.
Well, I finked out at three months. I was discouraged. My weight hadstalled and to make a long story short, I weighed the same at 14 weeks as I did at 8 weeks. There was much gnashing of teeth on my part until the scale finally made a drop in the 15th week. I'm sure that it was all perfectly normal, and I am weaning off the diuretics and blood pressure medicine, but it was not making me very happy. So, for month three - drumroll please - a whopping three pounds. Gee, that still sounds dismal. But I haven't started exercising and I do eat some carbs at most meals, so that is my sad tale. I'm sure I could do more to boost this, but I'm in a sort of catch 22. I want more weight off my knees before I put much pressure on them and I've been too tired and out of sorts to try to work swimming into my schedule. I'm just a big baby sometimes.
Then, at four months, which was December first, 2005, I was down 7 more pounds for a total of 45 pounds. Seven is not spectacular either, but it was painless and 45 is a good solid number. I still don't feel a whole lot different and I don't get much feedback in the outside world so I've done my share of complaining on the forum. They have encouraged me to take some pics, which I have delayed doing. I was waiting for the big 5-0, but you know what? I'm almost there. So today, 12-4-05, I experimented with my digital camera and the tripod. Using the timer, I took my own pics and I am surprised to see that there is indeed a difference. Actually, I never posted a photo at my highest weight because it was just too painful, but I can definitely see a difference in these new photos. It will only get better from here...
Meanwhile, my eating is very normal and I can even tolerate a bit of pasta now. My tastes are normal and the bathroom routine is fairly predictable. I still cannot ignore any "urges" or I'm in danger of having an accident! But it's all controllable and all good at this point. I need to get with the program and start working this "tool" better. I think I will feel more like doing that soon - I've got enough weight off to feel better and seeing the changes in these photos is very encouraging.
I'll be back at five months to start off the new year right.
About Me
Southwest, OH
Location
31.0
BMI
Surgery
08/01/2005
Surgery Date
May 07, 2005
Member Since
