stellalukin
Hi. Here's my story.
I'm six feet tall. I've worn a size 18-20 since my daughter was born 11 years ago.
As a teenager, I was a model.
I was thin growing up and through adolesence, and my last year of college my weight went up. I never had a problem with my weight, and I still don't. It has never bothered me to shop at Lane Bryant (or anywhere else), I have never felt that I should stop taking risks or stop looking, feeling and being fabulous simply because of my weight.
I'm also a writer, and I have never publicly talked about my weight, nor let anyone else talk to me about it.
About a year and a half ago I went through my first major bout with severe depression. I dealt with it in therapy, was medicated for a time, and started to work on the root cause. It was only then that I started to understand that I might be missing out on my true potential, and using my weight partially as an excuse for that.
At the same time, I started to think about my life down the road. If I gained any more weight, would I be around for _______ what? My daughter's graduation from college? Or how about her wedding? To see my grandkids? It dawned on me that I might not make it to age 65 with 350 pounds on my frame. Now, I'm nowhere near age 65, nor anywhere near 350 pounds, but let me put it this way, I'm a lot closer to 350 than I would like to be.
I also love running. I enter a few 5K races every year, and every now and then I will make a good effort at losing the weight that I need to in order to get the heavy load off of my weight bearing joints, but ultimately I am just a little too impatient to lose 1/2 pound a week for the next 200 weeks.
So I decided to have the surgery. For a few reasons, but mainly because- while I don't have any major health problems now, I figured it was only a matter of time before I was staring down the barrell of a shotgun.
I also don't want to raise an overweight kid. My daughter being the absolute love of my life, I know how influential I am in her life as well, and when I thought about the effect that my weight might have on her, I thought, "This is not good."
I totally forget what it feels like to be thin. But I'm going to find out.
That's me.
