StephanieF.
Remember me?
Dec 26, 2010
Hey friends! I decided to come back here to check in and realized when I arrived that I hadn't updated this blog in over a year! And what a year it's been. So many things have happened!I have done things in this year that I would never, ever have considered doing when I weighed over 300 pounds. I began working in social media, representing a few different clients (restaurant, etc.) with their Facebook and Twitter pages, doing PR for them, basically. That has been fun! Through that I have met many interesting people; for example, a friend named Ellen, who works for our area's ABC affiliate tv station. When the station's food producer was searching for a fill-in for a segment for that week's cooking segment on the evening news, he asked Ellen for ideas, and she thought of me. I received a direct message from her on Twitter from her asking if I would be interested in filling in! Of course, my first instinct was to say "absolutely not!" because how terrifying is it to think of being on tv, and doing a 3 1/2 minute cooking segment when you've never done anything like that before? But I've tried to make it my goal over the past couple of years (post-WLS) not to say "NO" when life presents an opportunity, so I reluctantly agreed. It actually went great! Shock of all shocks, I really enjoyed myself, and have now done it four different times! You can see my t.v. appearances if you go to my food blog (www.mamastephf.com) and search for KLTV.
Now, a lot of folks here would not be happy with WHAT I'm cooking on these segments, as it is not WLS-friendly. My specialty is baking cookies; my husband and sons love cookies, and just because I am not supposed to eat them doesn't mean they can't, so I still bake. That's what I've made on those four segments, specialty cookies, and have even started a small business because lots of people started calling me to see if I'd sell some to them. How could I refuse? ;)
So, the reality is that I am making money and enjoying life as a cookie-baker. Have I tasted my cookies? Of course. Have I gained any weight? Yes, I have. So I have decided that I need to get this under control so that I am not continually gaining and getting unhealthy.
The absolute truth is, I had gotten down to 147 pounds after WLS in 2006. I was happy to see those numbers, as it had been many years since I'd seen it. However, when I went to a plastic surgeon to see about having some improvements made, he looked at me and declared me "nothing but skin and bones." My skin was hanging from me, and you could see all my bones along my chest and down my back. I know it seems that 147 isn't very small, especially since I'm only 5'6" tall, and I know people my height who weigh 130 or less. What can I say? I must have heavy bones and organs. haha I was just too skinny at 147.
Well, of course my WLS office always warned me not to expect to stay at my lowest weight; they said that almost everyone has a weight bounce-back, that it's normal for your body to find a happy place after the fast loss, and I did see that. I was hoping to stay in the 150s, but soon found myself even-ing out at around 163. Truthfully, though, I really liked that weight! I felt curvier, sexier, and more like myself. So that's my current goal; I would like to get down again into the 160s. That is a healthy weight for me, low enough to keep me from getting diabetes that my family is so prone to.
How much do I need to lose? Well, as a result of total lack of exercise (I had previously been walking three miles a day and doing yoga several times a week, plus line-dancing lessons, etc.) and beginning to dabble in those cookies and other carbs, I have gained to 193. Yes, it's awfully freaking close to 200! That has a tendency to freak me out when I let it, but I'm trying hard to keep my head on straight. I don't have 150+ pounds to lose, like I did four years ago and felt so hopeless. I have 30 to lose. That's not so bad. I can do that. So, my goal is to A) begin exercising again, even if it's just twice a week at first, and B) up my protein/decrease my carb intake. I need to do this for my health as much as for my appearance, and I need to remember that.
I still feel pretty, even with this added weight. I have more self-confidence now, and I don't think it's solely because I've lost so much weight and look better; I think it's because since I've lost the weight, I started allowing myself to take risks and try new things, and that has caused me to gain self-confidence, because I've had success and fun! I don't get angry with myself, and berate myself until I'm depressed. I accept myself, and just know that I need to gain a little more control over what goes into my mouth, for my health and safety and peace of mind. I need to exercise to fight diabetes and heart disease and other ailments. I'm sure now that it's almost January, I'll have lots of company in this new adventure. :) Who's with me?
