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I've been reading a book call Salt, Sugar, Fat by Michael Moss and I really recommend it for anyone struggling with their weight or who lives with someone who is.   We don't realize to what lengths the food industry (processed and restaurants) go to finding the "Bliss Point" - that perfect combination of salt, sugar & fat that shuts off the mechanism in our brain that tells us we are full.    Salt & sugar seem to have their own limits - at some point something can become way too salty or way too sweet to want to keep eating - but that's not the case with fat.  They can just keep adding more and more and the body - or maybe I should say the taste buds - never grow tired of it.

Reality is that these companies exist to create profits for the shareholders, and the more they sell, the more money they make.   They don't care about the health or moral implications of the damage they are causing to individuals or our society.   It's an amazing book but you will frequently want to just throw it across the room.   

I say all of this because so many of us who have battled with obesity think there is something wrong with us as individuals.   We must lack willpower or self discipline or self control.   We just do not understand how much the deck is stacked against us.  And it's not just enough to read the nutrition labels - you have to read them carefully.

If you look at individually wrapped portions, you have to pay close attention to what is considered a portion size and how many portions that package actually contains.  An "individually" wrapped serving might actually contain 2-3-4 or more servings - but the protein, fat, sugar, calories listed reflect the SINGLE serving.    And trust me, the food companies know how to wiggle around the rules to deceive you.

I could go on and on but if you are reading this blog post, I strongly encourage you to read the book or at least Google it and read excerpts about it or watch interviews on various shows - because we all know once an author releases a book they start showing up on all of the cable talk shows.   You can't solve a problem that you don't realize exists.   And food manufacturers don't WANT people to know what they are doing.  But it is so sad to see those of us who have struggled with our weight beat ourselves up as being weak or lazy or whatever when reality is there are some strong forces working against us. 

There is a reason why nutritionists tell us to shop the perimeter of the grocery store and to buy fresh produce, meats, etc - but until you read this book or at least pay attention to the labels on the food in those areas, you don't realize how much the food manufacturers have learned to creep into the perimeter and load it with unhealthy choices.   

I'd love to hear your thoughts...

So I'm almost 2 years from surgery (9/14/10) and about one year from hitting my goal weight of 150# and today I weighed 160#.   The last month or so, I've been hovering on either side of 160 - anywhere from 158-164.5 and trying to keep get it back under control.

Here's the thing, at 150# I get tons of grief from people saying I'm too thin, I need to stop losing, etc.   At 160# I get a ton of compliments saying I look good where I'm at.  But my size 4s are getting snug and I HATE that feeling, it's been a year since I've felt that way and I don't like it.  I also don't want to worry about what others think, but lately some very close friends have been brutally honest and told me I was too thin last year and really look healthy & good now.

So I'm having this battle in my head.  I don't want it to be all about a number, that being 150.  I'm happiest around 155# but crossing the barrier a few times into the 160s has kinda freaked me out, to be honest.  I know the 10# bounceback is very normal and typical, but I don't want to be normal and typical.   Then part of me says "hey, it is normal & typical" but then I'm afraid that gives me the leeway to go beyond and I'm so terrified of putting the weight back on like I've done so many times before in my life.

I've spent a fortune on clothes during this journey and I'd rather stay in the size 4s since that's what I own the most of.  Given the breast augmentation in March, I've had to go with larger sizes on tops and have some things I used to love that no longer fit.  It's reminding me too much of all the times I've had to buy larger sizes because of weight gain.     And then there is the fact that yes, I've put on 10# so some clothes don't fit as well because of weight gain and it bothers me. 

So I guess the obvious answer is to lose enough that my clothes are comfortable, which is only about 5# or so.  But the self imposed goal of 150# just eats at me (no pun intended).   Face it, my biggest fear is failing yet again even though I know what to do differently this time around.   Does anyone else go through this crap???

I just re-read my last blog post so thought I'd update some things.  I had a workout with my trainer on April 26th and he told me " you know you are back, don't you?".  He had really upped the weights on me and with the exception of one set when I said it was too much, I did it all.  He wanted me to know I was back at the intensity and weight levels I was before surgery.   It was less than two months since the surgery, so I was very pleased...and canceled another activity that Saturday so I could work out again.

Overall, I really feel good.   I'm happier with the results and am finally able to say I'm glad I did it.   I think about having my legs & butt done, but don't think I ever will.  My issue with my legs is they are still Shar Pei like so I won't wear shorts or short dresses, but reality is if I had the thigh surgery, I'd have a scar inside each thigh and wouldn't wear shorts or short dresses, so why bother?   So for now my game plan is to stick to my original truce I called with my body - if there is something I don't like, I'll find a way to deal with it nonsurgically.  If that doesn't work, I'll just have to accept it and live with it.

I go back to see my plastic surgeon on Tuesday and will likely have to do the revision on the boobs.  He said it can be done in his office with a local, not general, anethestic, so that's a relief.   We'll see what he says on Tuesday. 

We went away for a few days with two other couples.  The one guy has always been very intense and can be blunt to the point of being rude.  He hasn't seen me in a couple of years.  It was amazing how much more respectful he was to me this time than ever before.   I'm going to be part of a panel at MVH in a couple of weeks talking to staff about how people treat you differently after losing so much weight.  I hope there is enough time to share all the stories.   It's been eye opening but people are human.   So .... more later....

So it's been almost six weeks and things are much improved.  Between my bony hips and firm mattress, I still have a few tender spots around the incision.  I think it's mostly a matter of sleeping in the same spot for too long and fluids just tend to pool in the area.    Occasionally if I stretch too far, I'll feel a stinging sensation above the actual scar, which leads me to believe there is some scar tissue forming.   But the more active I am and the more my massage therapist works on it, the less that happens. 

Between the doctor I go to for acupuncture, another for my testosterone pellets, and my massage therapist - they are all very impressed with how well the incision is healing.  So that just reinforces what my plastic surgeon tells me when I see him.   Which I'll see him again a week from tomorrow.  He's not happy with the way my right breast is settling so there may be a minor revision in my near future.  I just hope it can be done with a local and not a general anesthesia.

I've been able to wear my usual size 4 jeans since just a couple of weeks after the surgery, although I had to hold off a little longer on some of my lower cut ones because the waist band sits right at the incision in some spots.  Mostly I still live in yoga pants because they don't irritate the incision at all.   I love the way things fit now, I'm so happy to no longer have a muffin top.   Soooo happy.  Did I mention I'm happy??? 

So I have to be honest that the farther out from surgery I get, the happier I am with the results.  My boobs are still bigger than I wanted, but fortunately I'm so tall and big boned, they don't look abnormal.  It's just weird to look in the mirror and see them, the incredibly flat stomach and the incision...none of that looks normal to me and I jokingly refer to myself as a praying mantis - a top heavy stick figure.   Anyway, it was still a heckuva lot to put my body through, maybe I did too much at once, or maybe if I didn't do it all at once, it wouldn't have all been done!   But I think ultimately I will be able to say I am glad I did it.  Especially when I have on a bra & underwear and can't see the scars at all, that's when I feel more normal.  Which is ironic because part of the reason I had this done was so I would feel as confident naked as I did in clothes - and that hasn't been the case.   At least not yet.  Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be happy with my body! 

I feel like I've whined here and in my forum posts about the recovery being worse than I expected.  Reality was, it was worse than I expected.  Was it unbearable or god awful?  No...and yes (tee hee).  But I like to be able to prepare myself mentally and I just wasn't this time around.  Had I been, I think the recovery would have been less STRESSful for me and I probably would have sailed through it easier.  I have many friends in the medical field that tell me being prepared and having the right mental attitude is crucial to the recovery process.  I just wasn't totally on my game in that regard.  Damn, I guess I am human after all...who knew?  LOL.

Even this far out, I still tire out pretty easily.  Between the occasional discomfort and my evil cat, I can't remember the last time I slept solidly through the entire night.  So I nap most days for an hour or two and that helps.  My first workout with my trainer on Thursday was an easy one, but I was winded.  The second one Saturday was closer to normal and I realized I've lost a lot of my strength, which was to be expected after not working out for most of 6-8 weeks (I missed two weeks prior to surgery for vacation and had some back issues between vacation and surgery so my work outs were sporadic).   It'll come back pretty quickly, but my biggest challenge is learning to trust my body again and not to be sooo cautious.  I'm very timid doing a lot of things out of FEAR that it might hurt, but it doesn't actually hurt. 

So to sum it all up, I'm looking forward to feeling normal again - whatever that is.  I'm looking forward to regaining my muscle strength, regaining my confidence, improving my alignment and flexibility again and to the scar ultimately fading.   My husband seems to think I'll be sporting a two piece around the pool this year, but I don't think so.  For one, I've got some scars from the drainage tubes and around the belly button and the sun isn't good for them.  Second, I'm 51, and just because I CAN wear a bikini doesn't mean I SHOULD.   But hey, never say never!  I never thought I'd get a boob job either!

I'm about 2-1/2 weeks out from the lower body lift, tummy tuck and breast augmentation.  Each day gets a little better, but I still wonder if it was worth it to go through so much pain and discomfort for pure vanity.  Don't get me wrong, I'm loving my flat tummy and I couldn't pinch and inch from my waistline if you put a gun to my head.   I LOVE not having a muffin top any more.  And now that the implants are settling into a more normal position, I'm feeling a little better.  I still feel like tits on a stick, but I love the cleavage.  I want to show it off but don't want to announce to the world "hey look, here comes Theresa and her two friends".  There is a BIG difference naked, but in clothing, it's not that dramatic - which is just what I wanted for the most part.    

I wish I had been better prepared mentally for the pain ahead of time, I think my recovery would have been less stressful.  I'm so grateful for all the extra workouts I did with my trainer in Dec & Jan to prepare, that really saved me from a lot of unnecessary pain.   But this is definitely tougher than the original RNY.

The weirdest part was hearing my surgeon and nurse frequently refer to me as "tiny."   When I asked him how he tightened the tummy muscles, he said they just suture them, but "because you're so tiny..." he'd have to back knot so I wouldn't be able to feel it.  The nurse called me tiny a few times and I finally explained that from kindergarten through 8th grade, I was always THE tallest person in my grade - not just the tallest girl.  I was the height I am now (5'9") going into 7th grade.  I never knew a boy my same age that was taller than me until freshman year in high school.   I've been called "Amazon Woman" since we learned what they were in social studies.   My best friends in high school were barely 5' tall and most people remembered them but not me because they never looked up at my face.  I wear size 10 shoes, size 8-1/2 or 9 rings and consider myself big boned - so to be referred to as tiny is total culture shock.  

Anyway, I'm sure once the scars fade and the implants settle and my belly button starts to settle in, I'm sure I'll be thrilled, but I'll never put myself through anything like this again.  I've called a truce with my body and told it if there is something I don't like, I'll fix it nonsurgically or I'll just learn to love & accept it.  It's too much to go through and too much to ask of my husband and others to witness.  

I'd post before & after photos but given I actualy see some of you face to face at the support group meetings or just out and about around town, that's just too weird.  Speaking of which, I should be back in April and look forward to catching up since I've missed Jan-Feb-Mar.  I'm not being a very good breakout leader this way!

It's official, I'm scheduled for 3/2/12 for an LBL with TT and BA.   Actually, I've had the date for a few weeks.   I still go back & forth a lot.   I've already upped the workouts with my trainer to 3x a week, plus he's working me harder each occasion and I'm seeing the results.  It appears as if the skin around my abdomen is tightening some more - or maybe it's an illusion.   Then I bend over while shaving my legs or something and see my thighs and realize, I still really want to have the surgery done.  I haven't worn shorts in years and really wouldn't mind being able to wear them again. 

The last few days I've been looking a lot at the photos from the shoot I did back in early November.   I can't believe that's me.   Then again, when I look at photos before surgery, I can't believe THAT was me either.  I was pleased on Christmas Eve when my sister was looking at some before pictures and said she can barely remember me looking like that, It means this has become the new normal for many and I've been looking forward to that.   Still, when I look at the photos, it dawned on me that in my mind, I've pretty much always thought I looked about like this.   I used to say my mental image has always been about a size 12, even when I was a 22/24 and now that I'm a 4/6.   I just feel like my head and reality are closer to the same than ever before. 

I wonder how much of it comes with age in general.  I mean, I'm pushing 51 and I finally feel for the most part like I've got my act together.   I'm happy, I just love my life, I feel like I'm in a good place in my quest to self actualization, I'm not as wrapped up in what people think about me.   I'm in a wonderful position in my community to be able to say or do what I want and not worry too much about it.  My heart is always in the right place, but it's not unusual for my foot to end up in my mouth, often without my knowledge of it.   But I'm in a position to make a difference and to have an impact and if people don't like my political leanings, or that I talk about the elephant in the conference room, so what?   They can't fire me, my business model doesn't really involve clients so they can't vote with their wallets, I'm doing good things in the community so they can't really afford to tick me off for fear I'll take my efforts elsewhere.  We don't make political contributions so no one is beholden to me financially or politically.   People realize I do what I do because I'm passionate about Dayton in general and South Park in particular and I do things for the right reasons. 

Still, I feel like I could be doing more.  My projects in South Park are just not moving along at the speed I'd prefer.  Maybe it's time to go out on a limb and find other contractors to get the jobs done.  I've been thinking a lot about social media marketing and how I could use it to spread the word more about Full Circle, South Park, the City of Dayton in general.  I'd love to win the lottery and create TG's Stimulus Fund - all of the money would go into an account at the Dayton Foundation.  Some would be set aside for long term and the amount generated in interest would be issued in grants each year.  The rest would be for immediate impact projects like redoing all the curbs, sidewalks, streets and lighting in South Park, burying the utility lines, reforesting the tree lawns, adding fiber optic, replacing the gas & sewer lines.   I'd create a job training program designed to hire & teach unemployed and ex offenders in the neighborhood how to remove lead paint, make basic carpentry repairs like replacing rotted sills or trim or fascia boards and then repainting every property in South Park.   I'd hire a grounds crew which would consist of 2 experienced landscapers or Master Gardeners and they would hire seasonal workers from the neighborhood to pick up trash, weed and maintain all the green space (18 acres worth of parks in the neighborhood), pass out newsletters & fliers, maintain the alleys and vacant lots.  

As far as social media marketing, there are about a half dozen dynamos in the community that I would hire at twice what they are earning now and put them in charge of putting Dayton Ohio and various projects within the community on the map.   All they would do is help non profits and small start up companies and community groups get their stories out to the world and put Dayton OH back on the map as a hotbed of innovation.   I'd create an entrepreneurial seed fund and some of the money would be a grant to help them with architectural fees, permits, and other unexpected start up expenses.  And I would fund 1 or 2 full time positions within the City in Planning and in Building Inspections to serve as small business liaisons.   Their responsibility would be to act as a facilitator to help small businesses understand and and comply with zoning & building codes, as well as to walk the paperwork through the process within the City departments to expedite the flow.   It's actually a position my Mom held at the City in the 1990s. 

So what this has to do with plastic surgery and weight loss or anything else, I'm not sure.  I guess it's part of the transformation process.   I have a lot of time to think and dream.   But what I should be doing is tackling my office or cleaning out the closet in my bathroom.  I've managed to round up 10 bags of clothing and linens to donate, but 2 of the 3 charities I went to earlier this week were closed for the holidays.  Doh!   And I've got more, I'm in a real mood to declutter and organize and make room for new energy and good things in my life.   I think of the plastic surgery as the final step in my physical transformation (for now anyway)...so it's time to chart a new path for the future.   I'll let you know what I come up with!

So I met with a plastic surgeon on Thursday to discuss options.   He's suggesting a lower body lift, tummy tuck and breast augmentation - which means we're on the same page.   I'm tickled that all can be done at once and he tells me because we're mostly dealing with loose skin and not a lot of fat or muscle work, it should be a pretty easy recovery for me.   I like hearing that.  I'm really tickled too that he can take care of some excess skin on my inner thighs without having to do the incredibly painful lift that involves anchoring at the groin.   He's saying to plan on 3 weeks for recovery, but realistically it will be closer to 2 weeks given what I need done. 

Hubby has mixed emotions - he said he has no problems with my body.   I do and I point out that I'm doing this for me.  I feel like a Shar Pei.  Still I see the pictures of patients fileted open and their skin rolled back and realize this is purely elective surgery based on pretty much solely vanity and wonder if I'm making the right move.   I decided a long time ago that I plan to live until I'm 106, so now that 51 is not too far around the corner, I've got a lot of time left with this body and I'm not quite ready to look like my 84 year old mother just yet!

So when to have it?  The PS has a light schedule after the first of the year but we've got a big trip planned to Tahiti in Feb (yeah, I know...tough life...trust me, I know how incredibly blessed I am) so as much as I'd love to have the work done ahead of time, I'm starting to read a lot about swelling, lumps, bumbs, etc and am thinking I'd rather wait until we get back.  

The good news is that my work with a personal trainer is paying off (don't believe me?  Look at my recent photos and check out my arms!!) so the PS said he'd only have to do a little bit of a muscle tuck in my lower abs.   So my game plan now is to go from 2 to 3 worksouts a week starting in January and see if I can't get things in even better shape pre-surgery.  If I can do things naturally and reduce the amount of work he has to do, I'm all for it.   I've been at goal since September and have done a great job so far of keeping my weight pretty stable.  I fluxuate between 149-153, but spend most of my time around 151-152, so I'm pleased.  I figure by waiting until late Feb, that will put me at goal for pretty much six full months, so I should be pretty stable.

Still I sometimes wonder if I will EVER be happy with my body.  It's pretty fun to be 5'9" and a size 4 and to come to the realization that while not everything I wear will always be the most flattering, it's not likely that anything I wear will make me look fat.   Like I say when I try things on - just because I CAN wear something, doesn't mean I SHOULD.   But oh to have had this body when I was in my 20s and still had firm, youthful skin!  Sigh.  


If you're reading this and have had any of the procedures above, please let me know your thoughts about your experience.  Another step in the journey.  Yikes!

I hit goal last Tuesday, one week shy of my surgiversary.  What a wild ride it's been.  Well, maybe wild isn't the best word, because it's really been relatively easy considering what we put our bodies through with this surgery.  I had an easy surgery because I didn't have the build up of fat on my organs that many do.  That made for an easy recovery; I was off pain meds 3 days after returning home.   The only setback wasn't related to surgery, and that was acute tendonitis in both feet that lasted a few months.  I started PT on NY Eve for four weeks and have been fine ever since.

I started at 280# in size 22/24s or 3Xs.  A year ago I was in the midst of my pre-op diet, quite bitchy and wondering if I would be one of the successful ones with RNY, or one of the ultimate failures.   It was so hard to get my hopes up because I'd been there so many times with the beginning of each diet or weight loss fad "THIS will be the ONE."    I wondered if I was being unrealistic expecting to lose 100% of my excess weight.  Was I setting myself up for disappointment in thinking I would actually see 150# again?

In between I learned why overate in the first place - I used food to stuff the words I didn't have the nerve to say, and alcohol to give me the courage to say them anyway...with an excuse afterward of "I said that?  Oh geez, I'm so sorry, clearly it was the alcohol."   I wasn't able to exercise much because of the tendonitis, but I could use my 8# medicine ball, 3 & 5# dumbbells and resistance bands.    I worked hard to develop new habits, and admit a year later I still drink with meals (though not nearly like I used to), and if I'm engaged in good conversation, I'll forget and start wolfing down my food taking large bites and not chewing thoroughly...and end up in the bathroom with the foamies.  I've learned I don't dump and have become addicted to sugar again....but I usually share a piece of dessert, I don't eat the whole cake - and I work out several times a week now.

I started working with a personal trainer and am amazed by how much I'm physically capable of doing - from the beginning and as time progresses.    Left to my own devices, I would start out with 5# dumbbells but he hands me 20# - and I can do it!   I'm more tone now than I've ever been in my life...I just have skin that isn't as tight & taught as my younger years.   The hubby & I are doing 35 mile bike rides, often when it's 95 degrees outside.   When I go to the hospital for support group meetings or follow up appointments, I walk usually 3 flights of stairs in the parking garage, across the pedestrian bridge and up another 6 flights of steps and am able to breathe normally within 15-30 seconds of getting to the top.   I'm so much more willing to try new things - concerts, festivals, activities, clothing & hair & make up styles. 

It's as if a whole new world has opened up to me.  The hubby even said it's like being newlyweds again as we explore the world together.  People tell me that I smile all the time now - and it sure feels like it.  I find myself in conversations listening to people with a big smile on my face and tell myself I should probably tone it down a bit.  Go figure!

I have been very open with people about my surgery and am happy to answer any questions they have.  I find I'm able to clear up a lot of misconceptions about WLS, but I also learn of a lot of people who have not been successful.  I'm still in the honeymoon period.  I weigh 150#, I wear size 4s & Smalls.   That was never in my realm of reality but I will quickly say that clothing sizes clearly have changed over the years because I weighed 147# 20 years ago and was wearing 9s & 10s and still Larges.   I think I had to get to 280# and withdraw from life in order to appreciate it as much as I do now.   For that reason, I don't think I will regain the weight, although I know most people have a 10# bounceback from their lowest point.

I'm still pondering plastic surgery so will likely lose more as they remove excess skin.  But I'm going to wait several months before seeing a surgeon and see how I do with the continued work outs with my trainer.  I've seen marked improvement in just the past 7-8 weeks.  But nothing he has me to will ever reinflate "the girls" so I may look at moving them from the basement back up to the attic where they belong.

So if you're still with me and aren't that far into your journey, please know there is light at the end of the tunnel and it's not the light of the oncoming train.  I wish you much success and if there is anything I can do to help you along the way, please let me know.  Many helped me along the journey and I'd love to pay it back.

I'm within 3# of my surgeon's goal of 156# and 9# of my personal goal of 150#.  At 5'9", that's a good number - just slightly above the mid point of a healthy BMI range for my height.   I lost 17.5# before surgery, but in the 9 months since, have lost another 103.5#.    I've gone from size 22/24s to currently a size 8.  I do not ever remember wearing size 8s as an adult.  The only other time I was at goal weight was 20 years ago and I still wore a size 9/10 then...guess clothing sizes have changed over the years.

But this is what amazes me....the same family & friends who never once said to me "you know you've gained enough weight now, it's time to stop" are suddenly the experts about how much I should LOSE.   I get that it's a major change, especially for those that don't see me day to day or very often at all, but I'm not doing this for anyone but myself.   My goal is 150# and that's what I'm shooting for.  From what I've read on the forum, it takes about 6 months for your body to redistribute the fat...so I'll maintain my goal and reevaluate down the line.  If I feel it's too little, I'll add some.  If it's not enough, I may try to lose more.   But I'm counting on the Goldilocks approach - that it'll be just right.

In the interim, I'm going to start working out with a personal trainer three days a week (he's one of my tenants) and when I get to the one year mark, I will consider whether or not I want to pursue plastic surgery.  I'd really like to get "the girls" reinflated and back up in the attic as opposed to halfway down to the basement.   I work my arms out the most and the loose skin there appears to be tightening around my newly discovered muscles, so I'm hoping that will be the case elsewhere.  If not, I may look into a tummy tuck.  I'm not too big on the Sharpei look that's going on!

Still...I grow tired of the constant comments about my weight loss and how I look.   I find it slightly disturbing (but I don't lose any sleep over it) that I get better service in stores than I did a year ago.  But maybe it has nothing to do with my size and everything to do with my attitude.   I am happy and I smile a LOT more.   I continue to be amazed with how much I can accomplish around the house & yard, how much farther I can ride on my bike, without getting tired.  In fact, it's almost like my husband & I have swapped roles, I'm now the one that wants to go farther and he wants to stop.  In all fairness, he's been diagnosed with arthritis in his lower back and it takes a toll after a while.   But now he's afraid that I'll find him fat & unattractive - at 215# and 6'2" - yeah, right!

I love my new life, my new body, my newfound energy and flexibility and abilities...but I wish people would knock off the "you've lost too much" or "don't lose any more".   I don't recall asking for their opinion!    I don't want to be known for my looks or my size, I want to be Theresa - a warm, loving, generous woman with many talents to share.  Maybe this is a case of be careful what you wish for, you just might get it!

So I just keep telling people that they said when I was at my heaviest they never thought of me as fat, so at my thinnest there is no need to think of me as skinny - I am, have always been, and always will be simply... Theresa.   I can't wait until the new me is the new normal!

I've gone to a few functions lately in the business community and am finding it entertaining how no one recognizes me.   You know how it is when you're at an event with a couple hundred people and you know people, but can't always place them because they're not in the usual context.   In other words, sometimes you recognize the person but can't figure out how.   I get that, but this was different.

Today I had people who know me well walk right past me after I said hello.   Others would look at me then look at my name tag to confirm I was who they thought I was.   Some would look my direction from across the room then say something to the person next to them, recognition would flash and then they would smile & wave or come talk to me.  It was really getting to be weird after a while.   Especially because not everyone knows that I had surgery so we had to deal with the awkward, "you've lost weight...did you want to?"   In other words, "are you sick or did you find a great diet?"

It's funny because my self image is about a size 12, which is what I am now.   When I lost weight 20 years ago and was wearing 9s & 10s, I still felt like about a 12.   When I wore 22/24s, I still saw a size 12 in the mirror.  So in my mind, I haven't changed that much.   When I look at before photos of this time last year, I'm stunned that I was so big.  When I show it to others, they consistently say "you never looked like that to me".  
It's just kinda weird.  Before I felt invisible to strangers because of my size.  Now I feel invisible to the people I know!   I really look forward to the newness of this wearing off for the people in my life and the smaller TG becoming the "new normal".   I really want things to just be normal again!