Suite1
Bounce back
Aug 18, 2012
So I'm almost 2 years from surgery (9/14/10) and about one year from hitting my goal weight of 150# and today I weighed 160#. The last month or so, I've been hovering on either side of 160 - anywhere from 158-164.5 and trying to keep get it back under control.Here's the thing, at 150# I get tons of grief from people saying I'm too thin, I need to stop losing, etc. At 160# I get a ton of compliments saying I look good where I'm at. But my size 4s are getting snug and I HATE that feeling, it's been a year since I've felt that way and I don't like it. I also don't want to worry about what others think, but lately some very close friends have been brutally honest and told me I was too thin last year and really look healthy & good now.
So I'm having this battle in my head. I don't want it to be all about a number, that being 150. I'm happiest around 155# but crossing the barrier a few times into the 160s has kinda freaked me out, to be honest. I know the 10# bounceback is very normal and typical, but I don't want to be normal and typical. Then part of me says "hey, it is normal & typical" but then I'm afraid that gives me the leeway to go beyond and I'm so terrified of putting the weight back on like I've done so many times before in my life.
I've spent a fortune on clothes during this journey and I'd rather stay in the size 4s since that's what I own the most of. Given the breast augmentation in March, I've had to go with larger sizes on tops and have some things I used to love that no longer fit. It's reminding me too much of all the times I've had to buy larger sizes because of weight gain. And then there is the fact that yes, I've put on 10# so some clothes don't fit as well because of weight gain and it bothers me.
So I guess the obvious answer is to lose enough that my clothes are comfortable, which is only about 5# or so. But the self imposed goal of 150# just eats at me (no pun intended). Face it, my biggest fear is failing yet again even though I know what to do differently this time around. Does anyone else go through this crap???
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About Me
Dayton, OH
Location
21.6
BMI
Surgery
09/14/2010
Surgery Date
Jul 02, 2010
Member Since
Before & After
rollover to see after photo
280lbs
150lbs
