sun4me21
ITS BEEN A LONG TIME..
Jul 06, 2011
WELL I'VE BEEN GOING AT THIS SINCE JANUARY AND HAVE LOST TOTAL OF 20LBS. EXCITED AND FEEL LIL BETTER BOUT MY SELF BUT WHEN I LOOK IN THE MIRROR I HATE MYSELF. I HAVE BEING SEEING A THERAPIST TO FIND OUT WHY I EAT (OVER EAT) ALL THE TIME. SHE THINKS IT CAUSE MY MOTHER WAS AN ALCOHOLIC. WELL I JUST DUNNO, MAYBE. WELL I HAVE A FEW THEORIES OF WHY I EAT AND EAT, ( WHICH I FEEL IS NECESSARY TO FIND OUT BEFORE SURGERY) IF I HAVE SOME CHIPS OR A CANDY BAR I JUST CANT HAVE A FEW OR A PEICE I HAVE TO EAT IT TILL ITS GONE, I DONT KNOW WHY I DO THAT, I CANT SAVE ANYTHING, NOT EVEN MONEY LOL. I JUST FEEL LIKE THIS PROCESS ISNT HAPPENING AND THAT I WILL BE OVER WEIGHT FOR EVER AND THIS IS JUST A DREAM... SO I KINDA GAVE UP FOR A FEW MONTHS AND JUST DID WRITE ANYTHING DOWN, PAYED ATTENTION TO WHAT I WAS EATING BUT WENT OVER THE CALORIE INTAKE THE NUT GAVE ME. SO NOW I AM TRYING TO GO ABOUT THIS ANOTHER WAY, I AM ALWAYS HUNGRY THO, SO I HOPE THAT THIS WORKS! SO I WILL EAT AT 6AM, 9AM, 12PMK, 3PM, 6PM , SMALL MEALS OF COURSE. I DID THIS YESTERDAY AND I WAS STARVING ALL DAY. IM NOT SURE HOW THE DR EXPECTS YOU DO EAT SOO LITTLE WHEN U'VE BEEN EATTING SOO MUCH! DOES THE HUNGER EVER GO AWAY BEFORE SURGERY? I WONDER IF I WAS STARVED AS A LITTLE KID OR SOMETHING, I CANT STAND TO BE HUNGRY IT DRIVES ME MENTAL. IVE BEEN BIG SINCE I WAS ABOUT 10 AND MAYBE THAT WAS A WAY MY MOM THOUGHT I WOULD LOSE WEIGHT? I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS IN JR HIGH THAT IT WAS A BIG THING NOT TO EAT LUNCH, SO I NEVER WOULD PLUS I WOULDNT EAT BREAKFAST, SO I WOULD DRINK SODA OR HAVE SOMETHING I COULD EAT AND NOONE WOULD SEE (SOMETHING VERY SMALL). THEN WHEN I GOT HOME I WOULD COOK MAC N CHEESE AND EAT TWO TO THREE LITTLE DEBBIE SNACKS, THEN WAIT FOR MY MOM TO COME HOME TO COOK SUPPER, HAVE TO HELPINGS OF THAT AND THEN HAVE ANOTHER LITTLE DEBBIE SNACK AND THEN ANOTHER SNACK BEFORE BED. THIS WENT ON FOREVER, UNTIL I BECAME PREGNANT FOR THE FIRST TIME, THEN I REALLY GAINED 80LBS AND ATE EVERYTHING. IM NOT SURE WHY I AM SCARED TO STARVE, BUT I THINK THAT IS MY PROBLEM, I THINK IM GONNA STARVE AND NOT GET ANY FOOD. THAT SOMEONE ELSE WILL EAT IT AND I WONT GET ANY! I THINK THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE THE HARDEST PART OF HAVING THIS SURGERY. LEARNING THAT I WONT STARVE, LEARNING THAT I DONT NEED TO SHOVEL FOOD UNTIL I FEEL LIKE MY STOMACH IS GOING TO BUST OPEN. JUST GOTTA A MONTH OR SO TO GO (I HOPE) AND THEN THEY WILL APPROVE ME FOR SURGERY. I GOT 12 MORE LBS TO LOSE BEFORE I HAVE SURGERY, (I DONT WANT TO DO THE LIQUID DIET) IM GONNA TRY REALLY HARD!
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About Me
sabattus , ME
Location
48.9
BMI
Aug 01, 2008
Member Since
