Sunkissedsgrho
UPDATE: Feb. 19, 2019
To make this short and sweet, I had VSG in 2011, and as of today, I have regained a lot of weight, and I am hoping to change this with an upcoming DS conversion in May. I messed up... I have no excuse. I didn't follow my plan; I didn't exercise; I didn't change my way of thinking, and now I'm practically back where I started.
I've been blessed with one last chance to lose and keep this weight off, and I pray that I am able to follow through this time. I'm too ashamed to share my current weight, but I'm getting closer and closer to my pre-VSG weight. I have to do better. This has to work this time... I have to put in the work this time.
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My story….well, it’s not filled with weight ups and downs… My weight has always been UP! Some of my earliest memories are of old people pinching my cheeks…I can remember kindergarten and how I was ‘cute AND chubby’ and later, I transitioned to the ‘cute BUT chubby’ stage. You know, some people were actually stupid enough to say, “You know, you’d be so pretty IF you lost weight…” I’m like WHAT?!?! Did you just say that to me? Really?? But anyway, that title carried on. I’ve always been a big child. In high school, I was always bigger than my friends. Matter of fact, my best friend was super skinny, but she never treated me like I was less of a person because I was bigger than she was. Some of my worst years were in high school. I could hardly fit in the desk…those were the longest classes because I had to sit sideways in the seat and then my butt would fall asleep and I’d have to get up and try to rearrange myself…and all of this took place in front of the guy I was completely in love with (who never noticed me until he needed ‘help’ with an assignment. And did I help him? EVERYTIME! 
) ….talk about embarrassing! And I NEVER had a boyfriend in school… Nope, it seemed that big girls were a faux pas in school, so I was never given any love… 
Yeah, high school was no picnic for me, but I survived and graduated, and THEN ON TO COLLEGE!
College was slightly different, but not much. Still didn’t get any real attention from men, but my confidence did increase…a smidge! At least the desks were slightly bigger…. Only problem is I GOT BIGGER TOO! And I can’t blame it on anyone but me because I love to eat! 
I don’t live to eat, but I do love it! When I get together with my friends, it is already understood that before the end of the outing, WE WILL EAT! Guess that’s gonna change in a few months!! 
But for the most part, I’m just your average, ordinary plus sized woman…and I’m sick of it! I am sick of being defined by my size. I don’t wanna be labeled as cute or pretty despite that fact that I’m a big girl. I want to be pretty because I AM PRETTY! And if one more child looks at me and says, “Oooo, she’s big!” I’m gonna go to jail for the attempted murder of a kid!! Seriously, keep your kids away from me! LOL (kidding) But hey, from the mouths of babes…. And if they are saying it, what are others thinking?? After graduation, I began teaching, and my worst fear was that the kids were going to say some rude things about me to my face or behind my back. In my 5 years of teaching, this has never happened because I make sure I’m looking good on a daily basis! I actually get compliments from my students. Today, I was dubbed “Teacher with the most Swag”! And I can’t lie, it made me feel good! 
BUT….there is always that chance that one day, it could happen, and I’d be heartbroken…. 
Anyway, enough rambling on…. Bottom line is this; I want to be smaller. I’ve tried the diets, working out, diet pills, starvation. Some worked! But after so long, the weight came back with a vengeance. This must end! I am the biggest person in my family. When I became larger than my 6’0+ father, I KNEW it was time to do something. I want to do simple things like cross my legs, sit comfortably in a booth, wear a pair of boots, wear heels to work, own a cuter wardrobe (although I do pretty good right now if I do say so myself!) walk and talk without getting winded, RUN and JOG! I just want to live without thinking that people are gawking at me because of my size… I’m considering the VSG to make a permanent solution. I’m hoping that with the help of God, my family and friends, and this on-line community, I can be successful!! Can’t wait to start this journey!! Stay tuned!! 
