Sunkissedsgrho
I have an Angel.... :o)
May 24, 2011
StepN2ANewLife is my angel! Seeing as we have SOOOOOOOOOO much in common, we mutually agree to give it a shot!
Pre-op Appointment!!
May 19, 2011
So I had my pre op appt yesterday. I had to answer the medical history and do an EKG and surgery prep type of stuff. I had to pee in a cup. SIDENOTE (TMI): Why don't they have some easier way for OBESE women to pee in a cup! THAT was sooo difficult! OMG! Can't wait for that one to be a NSV! LOL
Anyway, as I walked back to my truck with my surgery instructions, it hit me: I'M HAVING SURGERY!!!
Ya'll, this thing just got real. In LESS than a week, I will voluntarily have the majority of my stomach removed. WTH!?!?
So, I'm having a 'panic moment' and I'm obsessing over alllllllllllllllllllll of the foods I looooooooooooooooove to eat. (I won't torture myself by listing them...
) Quite naturally, I am wondering if this will be worth it. Well, I can answer this question. I KNOW IT WILL BE WORTH IT! I'm just scared! 
OH Family, I've come to realize what my biggest fear is. It's not the surgery or the pain or not being able to eat the foods I've come to love. IT'S FAILURE!
What if I fail? This scares me so badly. People, myself included, use excuse after excuse as to why we can't lose weight. Well, this surgery will end ALL of my excuses. I won't have anything or anyone else to blame but ME. It's easy to fail when there are contributing factors such as friends and family and your general environment....but when all of that has been removed, and all you have to blame is yourself, it becomes a different story. I DON'T WANT TO FAIL....
As I lurk and read the posts on this board, I know that it is possible to lose the weight. You all are living proof that I can do this. I am so amazed at how you all have transformed your bodies. You are so motivational, and when I see before and after pics, my heart just smiles!
It's just that the closer I get to May 25th, the more nervous I get! But I'm excited! I'm excited over the fact that in about 6 months, I WILL be over 100lbs down. I will be able to post NSVs on this forum. My students will refer to me as the incredible shrinking teacher! I will have control over my portions. I will exercise daily and commit to making this sleeve work for me!
Failure is not an option, (especially since I'm paying cash!) and I will succeed! I've just got to keep telling myself these things. Faith is the substance of things HOPED for and the evidence of things that aren't seen. I can't physically see myself at my goal weight, but I have FAITH that I will get there! Fear or no fear, I WILL GET THERE! 
6 comments
Anyway, as I walked back to my truck with my surgery instructions, it hit me: I'M HAVING SURGERY!!!
Ya'll, this thing just got real. In LESS than a week, I will voluntarily have the majority of my stomach removed. WTH!?!? So, I'm having a 'panic moment' and I'm obsessing over alllllllllllllllllllll of the foods I looooooooooooooooove to eat. (I won't torture myself by listing them...) Quite naturally, I am wondering if this will be worth it. Well, I can answer this question. I KNOW IT WILL BE WORTH IT! I'm just scared! OH Family, I've come to realize what my biggest fear is. It's not the surgery or the pain or not being able to eat the foods I've come to love. IT'S FAILURE!
What if I fail? This scares me so badly. People, myself included, use excuse after excuse as to why we can't lose weight. Well, this surgery will end ALL of my excuses. I won't have anything or anyone else to blame but ME. It's easy to fail when there are contributing factors such as friends and family and your general environment....but when all of that has been removed, and all you have to blame is yourself, it becomes a different story. I DON'T WANT TO FAIL.... As I lurk and read the posts on this board, I know that it is possible to lose the weight. You all are living proof that I can do this. I am so amazed at how you all have transformed your bodies. You are so motivational, and when I see before and after pics, my heart just smiles!
It's just that the closer I get to May 25th, the more nervous I get! But I'm excited! I'm excited over the fact that in about 6 months, I WILL be over 100lbs down. I will be able to post NSVs on this forum. My students will refer to me as the incredible shrinking teacher! I will have control over my portions. I will exercise daily and commit to making this sleeve work for me! Failure is not an option, (especially since I'm paying cash!) and I will succeed! I've just got to keep telling myself these things. Faith is the substance of things HOPED for and the evidence of things that aren't seen. I can't physically see myself at my goal weight, but I have FAITH that I will get there! Fear or no fear, I WILL GET THERE!
Accountability Blog V
May 05, 2011
My surgery is May 25th, a mere 20 days away,
and I don't want to gain any weight before then. BUT it has been a challenge!
I have been trying to acquire some of the eating habits that will soon take over my life, and I have failed....miserably...And then I found myself doubting my abilities to do what I'm supposed to do AFTER surgery. I mean, mentally, I feel I'm ready. I understand the ramifications of surgery and that AFTER surgery, I will be restricted to what I can eat.....but NOW, I'm not restricted, and I'm finding it so difficult to practice self control especially knowing that soon, I'll be very limited to what and how much I can eat (which I am actually excited about!!). Now, some would say, "Well, if you can't handle the preop, you shouldn't have the surgery..." While I sorta resent those comments, I can't help but wonder if they are right. But my mind is telling me that I CAN do this WITH the HELP of my TOOL which is why I'm getting this done in the first place. If I COULD do this without the sleeve, I'd already be at 150lbs and happy! To my credit, I do measure my intake, I've cut sodas and tea out of my diet, and I'm doing my best to increase my water, protein intake, and decrease the carbs. The 11th marks the actual 2 week preop stages of my diet. At that point, I will have no more time to play around and cheat. I do want this. I will achieve my weight loss goals and NSV because after WLS, I will have no more excuses. It's either make it work or remain the same size...and that's not an option!
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and I don't want to gain any weight before then. BUT it has been a challenge! I have been trying to acquire some of the eating habits that will soon take over my life, and I have failed....miserably...And then I found myself doubting my abilities to do what I'm supposed to do AFTER surgery. I mean, mentally, I feel I'm ready. I understand the ramifications of surgery and that AFTER surgery, I will be restricted to what I can eat.....but NOW, I'm not restricted, and I'm finding it so difficult to practice self control especially knowing that soon, I'll be very limited to what and how much I can eat (which I am actually excited about!!). Now, some would say, "Well, if you can't handle the preop, you shouldn't have the surgery..." While I sorta resent those comments, I can't help but wonder if they are right. But my mind is telling me that I CAN do this WITH the HELP of my TOOL which is why I'm getting this done in the first place. If I COULD do this without the sleeve, I'd already be at 150lbs and happy! To my credit, I do measure my intake, I've cut sodas and tea out of my diet, and I'm doing my best to increase my water, protein intake, and decrease the carbs. The 11th marks the actual 2 week preop stages of my diet. At that point, I will have no more time to play around and cheat. I do want this. I will achieve my weight loss goals and NSV because after WLS, I will have no more excuses. It's either make it work or remain the same size...and that's not an option!
I Have a DATE!!!
Apr 20, 2011
So, I had my consent appt yesterday and my doctor was cool. He didn't have a snotty attitude or act like we were beneath him. He didn't even introduce himself as DR. Thomas. He walked in and shook our hands and said, "Hi, I'm Michael Thomas." He got major brownie points with my mom on that on. She's big on personalities and my mother is pretty good at reading people. She liked him, so I like him! LOL Plus, his name is Michael, same as my dad and my beloved late brother, so that's a plus!
ANYWAY, at first, I was told May 3RD! I was excited! BUT then, I remembered that I'm a teacher, and I can't get off....So, then she said May 11TH... I tried my hardest to make something work out, but my boss didn't think it would be wise. AND considering the fact that school closes on May 24TH for us, I asked if I could have May 25TH.......and she said YES!! SO, on MAY 25th at 7:30AM, I WILL BE SLEEVED!!!!
So many emotions are going through me.... Fear, excitement, impatience (wish I coulda had that May 3rd date) doubt in my abilities to comply with the rules....FAITH that it's gonna work out! Ya'll I'm just ready! I hope and pray that I keep in mind that this is a tool and I must do my part. I will exercise AND walk daily and eat my proteins, drink my water and shakes, drink my water and shakes.....DRINK MY WATER AND SHAKES!! And I will see results! I will lose 100lbs OR MORE by November 14, my 30th birthday. I will not freak out during a stall (darn that dreaded 3 week stall!!!) I will be successful! I'm self-paying so YES, I will do this and do it well!! (I can hear the Rocky theme playing in the back ground!! LOL)
I WILL DO THIS!!
6 comments
ANYWAY, at first, I was told May 3RD! I was excited! BUT then, I remembered that I'm a teacher, and I can't get off....So, then she said May 11TH... I tried my hardest to make something work out, but my boss didn't think it would be wise. AND considering the fact that school closes on May 24TH for us, I asked if I could have May 25TH.......and she said YES!! SO, on MAY 25th at 7:30AM, I WILL BE SLEEVED!!!!
So many emotions are going through me.... Fear, excitement, impatience (wish I coulda had that May 3rd date) doubt in my abilities to comply with the rules....FAITH that it's gonna work out! Ya'll I'm just ready! I hope and pray that I keep in mind that this is a tool and I must do my part. I will exercise AND walk daily and eat my proteins, drink my water and shakes, drink my water and shakes.....DRINK MY WATER AND SHAKES!! And I will see results! I will lose 100lbs OR MORE by November 14, my 30th birthday. I will not freak out during a stall (darn that dreaded 3 week stall!!!) I will be successful! I'm self-paying so YES, I will do this and do it well!! (I can hear the Rocky theme playing in the back ground!! LOL) I WILL DO THIS!!
Accountability Blog IV
Apr 18, 2011
Haven't updated in awhile. So what's been going on with me? Well, last week, I decided to get serious about this. So, I started to up my protein and water intake. I also worked out at Curves AND walked three days last week. (Didn't quite make it everyday like I planned to) Well, guess what.... I LOST FOUR POUNDS DOING THAT! I probably lost more than that, but I had a crazy AND FULL weekend and my discipline was NONexistant, so I probably gained about 2 pounds. I've really got to get a hold of myself when it comes to eating out and being around others who can eat what they want. I need to try to develop the habits of a sleever. Hey, I AM getting my water in! And I ate soooooooooo much chicken last week! LOL But it wasn't bad. That's gotta count for something! LOL But seriously, no more excuses. This thing is real, and I REALLY want it, so I've gotta do what I gotta do! BUT that four pound loss....man, I felt GREAT!! And I'm super motivated to do more.
I had my consent appt yesterday. I signed the paperwork and everything! I was also given a date of MAY 3RD!! BUT.............as a teacher, I'm gonna need something closer to the end of school, so I'm hoping the get a date around May 25th. BUT, if not, I'm going for that May 3rd date! I'll tell ya, paying cash does has its advantages!
2 comments
I had my consent appt yesterday. I signed the paperwork and everything! I was also given a date of MAY 3RD!! BUT.............as a teacher, I'm gonna need something closer to the end of school, so I'm hoping the get a date around May 25th. BUT, if not, I'm going for that May 3rd date! I'll tell ya, paying cash does has its advantages!
Accountability Blog III
Apr 11, 2011
Ok, well, first of all, this pre op thing.... I declare! 
I now realize that I've been going around here having food funerals. Don't know if I've gained weight, but I don't think I've lost any either! LOL Although, at least 6 different people have told me that I look like I've lost weight! Hmmmm....well, IDK, maybe inches here and there. Either way, I'll take that compliment though!
So, my consent appt is Monday, and I DO NOT WANT TO MEET THE DOCTOR FOR THE FIRST TIME WITH A FREAKING WEIGHT GAIN!
So, today, I put my plan in action
. My only set back is that I did eat the school lunch today... BUT, I went to Curves, and then I WENT FOR A WALK! I walked a mile today!
YAY!! It nearly took me out, but since I lived, I guess I'll do it again tomorrow and the next day and the next until that mile becomes 5 and the walking becomes a steady jog or run! 
And to top it off, I had a salad for dinner today!
After that, I went to Winn-Dixie and finally settled on SLIM FAST!
They may not be the best, but they have 10 grams of protein and along with the chicken I plan to eat, I should do ok with my protein intake. Also, why purchase protein shakes now when my tastes will probably change after surgery. So for now, Slim Fast it is! I also bought some Atkins bars. So for lunch tomorrow, I will have a sandwich (wheat bread) and some baked Lays Chips and somewhere in the day, I'll have my Slim Fast and an Atkins bar. For dinner, I'll have some baked chicken with a side dish, probably ONE serving of corn (the only veggie I like) and then go for my evening walk!
I am now experiencing head hunger.
For instance, I've eaten today, and I know I'm not starving, but my mind is telling me that I could eat. But my frugality won't let me spend unnecessary money on cookies and snack foods. Yeah, I'm too cheap to snack!
LOL But that's a good thing. And this water thing...... I'M TRYING! Matter of fact, I'm drinking a bottle of water right now, my 3rd today. Didn't quite get 64 oz in, but I'm working on that, too. I figure if I begin his week, maybe I'll lose at least 15lbs by the time my surgery comes around. Trying to get that liver to SHRINK! If I follow my plan, I can do this!
So, Amanda.... follow these rules:
1. NO CARBS!!
2. No school lunch--take a sandwich or Slim Fast
3. Curves
4. Walk EVERYDAY!
5. Chicken chicken chicken! (baked, saute, grill)
6. DRINK YOUR WATER!! (just finished bottle #3!!)
Let's see how this works!! Now I'm going to bed before I allow this head hunger to win!
3 comments
I now realize that I've been going around here having food funerals. Don't know if I've gained weight, but I don't think I've lost any either! LOL Although, at least 6 different people have told me that I look like I've lost weight! Hmmmm....well, IDK, maybe inches here and there. Either way, I'll take that compliment though! So, my consent appt is Monday, and I DO NOT WANT TO MEET THE DOCTOR FOR THE FIRST TIME WITH A FREAKING WEIGHT GAIN!
So, today, I put my plan in action. My only set back is that I did eat the school lunch today... BUT, I went to Curves, and then I WENT FOR A WALK! I walked a mile today! YAY!! It nearly took me out, but since I lived, I guess I'll do it again tomorrow and the next day and the next until that mile becomes 5 and the walking becomes a steady jog or run! And to top it off, I had a salad for dinner today! After that, I went to Winn-Dixie and finally settled on SLIM FAST!
They may not be the best, but they have 10 grams of protein and along with the chicken I plan to eat, I should do ok with my protein intake. Also, why purchase protein shakes now when my tastes will probably change after surgery. So for now, Slim Fast it is! I also bought some Atkins bars. So for lunch tomorrow, I will have a sandwich (wheat bread) and some baked Lays Chips and somewhere in the day, I'll have my Slim Fast and an Atkins bar. For dinner, I'll have some baked chicken with a side dish, probably ONE serving of corn (the only veggie I like) and then go for my evening walk! I am now experiencing head hunger.
For instance, I've eaten today, and I know I'm not starving, but my mind is telling me that I could eat. But my frugality won't let me spend unnecessary money on cookies and snack foods. Yeah, I'm too cheap to snack!LOL But that's a good thing. And this water thing...... I'M TRYING! Matter of fact, I'm drinking a bottle of water right now, my 3rd today. Didn't quite get 64 oz in, but I'm working on that, too. I figure if I begin his week, maybe I'll lose at least 15lbs by the time my surgery comes around. Trying to get that liver to SHRINK! If I follow my plan, I can do this!So, Amanda.... follow these rules:
1. NO CARBS!!
2. No school lunch--take a sandwich or Slim Fast
3. Curves
4. Walk EVERYDAY!
5. Chicken chicken chicken! (baked, saute, grill)
6. DRINK YOUR WATER!! (just finished bottle #3!!)
Let's see how this works!! Now I'm going to bed before I allow this head hunger to win!
Date Pushed Back....
Apr 06, 2011
So, I got a call from the Dr. office yesterday. I have my consent appt on APRIL 18! Well, I wanted my surgery on that date!
As a teacher, I was trying to have my surgery the week before Spring Break so I could recover and head back to school after two weeks. Well, looks like that's not gonna happen! 
Oh yeah, I was disappointed, BUT now, I think it's for the best. First, I won't be under so much pressure to heal faster than my body is ready. Secondly, I'll move home with my family for a few days so my mama can pamper me! LOL And thirdly, I'll have more time to work on this preop diet. Also, I'm hoping to be able to use this time to REALLY WRAP MY MIND AROUND WHAT I'M ABOUT TO DO AND THE COMMITMENT THAT COMES WITH IT! 
Doubts? Nope, not really!! I really want to do this. I'm just hoping this will work for me. Is it me or has there been more negative post being made on the forum lately!
I mean, I'm glad to see and read the good AND the bad, but it's been a little unnerving! But I always read the bad post. I want to know what I'm about to get into, so I appreciate how honest you all have been! Please, keep posting the good, the bad, and the ugly! ....the head hunger, the liquid diet, full liquid diet, the acid, possible thrush, the GAS, constipation... I'm hoping that I won't have any of these problems, but IF I do, at least I'll recognize the symptoms thanks to my OH friends! THANKS!!
But I really wanna use this time to evaluate myself and my brain/will power. Will I drink my water? Will I get my proteins in? Will I take my vitamins? (Incidently, these VITS are GOOD!! Just like candy!) Will I walk and excersie like I should? Will I use my tool and take advantage of its uses? Will I lose this weight??? Will I reach my goals? Will I??? 
I'm not expecting a miracle, just praying for the strength and will power to do what I have to do..... Shoot, the surgery itself will be my miracle. I'm so grateful to God for giving me this chance... so here's to stepping out on faith and leaving it all in God's hands!
2 comments
As a teacher, I was trying to have my surgery the week before Spring Break so I could recover and head back to school after two weeks. Well, looks like that's not gonna happen! Oh yeah, I was disappointed, BUT now, I think it's for the best. First, I won't be under so much pressure to heal faster than my body is ready. Secondly, I'll move home with my family for a few days so my mama can pamper me! LOL And thirdly, I'll have more time to work on this preop diet. Also, I'm hoping to be able to use this time to REALLY WRAP MY MIND AROUND WHAT I'M ABOUT TO DO AND THE COMMITMENT THAT COMES WITH IT! Doubts? Nope, not really!! I really want to do this. I'm just hoping this will work for me. Is it me or has there been more negative post being made on the forum lately! I mean, I'm glad to see and read the good AND the bad, but it's been a little unnerving! But I always read the bad post. I want to know what I'm about to get into, so I appreciate how honest you all have been! Please, keep posting the good, the bad, and the ugly! ....the head hunger, the liquid diet, full liquid diet, the acid, possible thrush, the GAS, constipation... I'm hoping that I won't have any of these problems, but IF I do, at least I'll recognize the symptoms thanks to my OH friends! THANKS!! But I really wanna use this time to evaluate myself and my brain/will power. Will I drink my water? Will I get my proteins in? Will I take my vitamins? (Incidently, these VITS are GOOD!! Just like candy!
) Will I walk and excersie like I should? Will I use my tool and take advantage of its uses? Will I lose this weight??? Will I reach my goals? Will I??? I'm not expecting a miracle, just praying for the strength and will power to do what I have to do..... Shoot, the surgery itself will be my miracle. I'm so grateful to God for giving me this chance... so here's to stepping out on faith and leaving it all in God's hands!
Accountablility Blog II
Apr 06, 2011
Ok, well it looks like my surgery won't be until the end of May which isn't a bad thing since I'm a school teacher
. If I were smart, I'd have started on my preop diet. Well, I DID make an honest attempt
! I went to GNC and bought these meal suppliment shakes (Total Lean Shake). So I decided that I was gonna start the liquid diet the next day. I was pumped!! I was excited!!! YEAH!!!!
So, I open the strawberry shake and......
YUCK!!! Well, I didn't vomit, but it was NOT good...
I can't drink that stuff!!! So now, I'm kinda stuck. I mean, I really don't eat that much, so I'm ok with drinking my meal, BUT IS A GOOD TASTING SHAKE TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?!?! 
So, OH friends, I NEED YOUR HELP!
Pre op diet ideas? I refuse to accept defeat before I've even started!
I hear about tastebuds changing after surgery. I think I'm more afraid of NOT finding a protein I can tolerate than I am of the actual surgery! I know I've posted about shakes before and got some great responses. I guess I was hoping to magically find my magic potion and be 5 pounds lighter...NOT!! When has anything concerning weightloss been THAT easy!?!
PS. Anybody try Slim Fast? Does it work? I tried it years ago, and I could tolerate it. Think I'll head to Wal-Mart and pick up a 6 pack and see how I like it. HOPEFULLY BETTER THAN THIS STUFF FROM GNC!! YUCK!!!
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. If I were smart, I'd have started on my preop diet. Well, I DID make an honest attempt! I went to GNC and bought these meal suppliment shakes (Total Lean Shake). So I decided that I was gonna start the liquid diet the next day. I was pumped!! I was excited!!! YEAH!!!! So, I open the strawberry shake and......YUCK!!! Well, I didn't vomit, but it was NOT good... I can't drink that stuff!!! So now, I'm kinda stuck. I mean, I really don't eat that much, so I'm ok with drinking my meal, BUT IS A GOOD TASTING SHAKE TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?!?! So, OH friends, I NEED YOUR HELP! Pre op diet ideas? I refuse to accept defeat before I've even started! I hear about tastebuds changing after surgery. I think I'm more afraid of NOT finding a protein I can tolerate than I am of the actual surgery! I know I've posted about shakes before and got some great responses. I guess I was hoping to magically find my magic potion and be 5 pounds lighter...NOT!! When has anything concerning weightloss been THAT easy!?! PS. Anybody try Slim Fast? Does it work? I tried it years ago, and I could tolerate it. Think I'll head to Wal-Mart and pick up a 6 pack and see how I like it. HOPEFULLY BETTER THAN THIS STUFF FROM GNC!! YUCK!!!
Sleep Study Completed....
Mar 31, 2011
So, I had my sleep study last night. 
First of all, the facility was nice. It looked like a bed room. The building was new. It was actually still being worked on, but it was nice. The guy who monitors was nice and very informative. All in all, I'd recommend the place (Sleep Solutions in Covington, La) to anyone. Shout out to Tom Mullings, too!
Now, with that being said, I HATED THE SLEEP STUDY!! I felt like Frankenstein with all the wires! 6 in my head, 3 on my face, a breathing thing in my nose, EKG on my chest and one on each leg. AND this monitor on my finger... Now, how can one sleep with all of that!! So, I didn't get the best night's sleep. I may have mild apnea according to the technician, but nothing that will prevent surgery so THAT'S GOOD NEWS!! I know the lady at the dr. office is so tired of me! I've already emailed her and told her that I've had the sleep study done, and I'm ready for my consent appt and surgery date!! So, besides this preop diet that I have been avoiding, I'M READY TO BE SLEEVED!!!!!! 
Accountability Blog I Why am I doing this?
Mar 29, 2011
*I've decided to blog periodically to keep myself accountable for my goals. If I SEE them, I can make them a reality! As the year goes by, LOOKING at my goals will make me remember them so that I will achieve them!! With this preface, here goes Accountability Blog I.
It's 9:41 pm on March 29, 2011, the night before my sleep study, which is the last step I have to take to get a surgery date
. I'm sitting here, and the thought crossed my mind to honestly ask myself WHY I AM HAVING WLS... 
So many things come to mind as to why I want to do this. Health reasons, of course! Vain, personal reasons? DUH! I want to be smaller, cuter--NO, I want to be beautiful to myself. I can only imagine the clothes I will be able to wear. The outfits will be limitless! Ok, besides that, I want to walk and not be so winded just by walking a few steps. That is so embarrassing. I would love to run! I want to run like those foreign exchange students from Africa used to run around Southeastern's campus. I want to attend SELU's homecoming this year 100lbs lighter and shock people with my progress--especially one person in particular... 
And by homecoming 2012, I WILL be at my goal weight, 160lbs!!! I want to cross my legs...I have NEVER been able to cross my legs. Man, I may just cross my legs while sitting on the toilet! YES, it's just that serious to me!
I want this badly. Facing reality, most men don't want me because of my size. PLEASE NOTE THAT I AM NOT HAVING THIS DONE JUST TO GET A MAN!! But, thinking about it, my size has to be the reason. Besides that, what else could there be? I have a career, my own place, a vehicle, a little change in my pockets and in the bank (until this surgery!) and I'm NOT ugly. At least, I don't think I'm ugly...
So what else could there be? I have friends and I seem to be able to keep them, so I guess my personality is in good condition...SO??? Again, I ask, what else is there?? So...I guess, in a way, I am doing this so that I can get a good man who will love me! I am 29 years old. I want a husband and some babies!
Even if I did have a boyfriend right now, I'd be too self conscious of myself to think he loves me, and every time a woman who is smaller or cuter than me passed by, I'd be wondering if he'd rather have her than me... Cause honestly, that's kinda how I feel now. Self-esteem is shot! I really am happy about most areas of my life. Great family, great career, great friends and coworkers... All is well, thank God. My weight is the ONLY thing I'm hating! So, it's time to do something about it!
Bottom line:
1. I want to be at a healthy, normal weight
2. I want to feel good about myself
3. I want to shop in regular stores, not just those that cater to plus sized women (although I am grateful to LB, Catherine's Ashley's and Cato Plus just to name a few)
4. I want to cross my legs!!! (I think I said this already... LOL)
5. I want to be able to go for a run around the neighborhood
6. I want a man.... (yes, I admit it!)
So, as I continue to blog, I'm hoping to look at this same message a year from now and have MOST, if not ALL of these goals accomplished! Maybe if I keep blogging and keep tying my goals, I'll eventually reach them all! Guess these will be my accountability blogs!
Until next time, happy losing!!
5 comments
It's 9:41 pm on March 29, 2011, the night before my sleep study, which is the last step I have to take to get a surgery date
. I'm sitting here, and the thought crossed my mind to honestly ask myself WHY I AM HAVING WLS... So many things come to mind as to why I want to do this. Health reasons, of course! Vain, personal reasons? DUH! I want to be smaller, cuter--NO, I want to be beautiful to myself. I can only imagine the clothes I will be able to wear. The outfits will be limitless! Ok, besides that, I want to walk and not be so winded just by walking a few steps. That is so embarrassing. I would love to run! I want to run like those foreign exchange students from Africa used to run around Southeastern's campus. I want to attend SELU's homecoming this year 100lbs lighter and shock people with my progress--especially one person in particular... And by homecoming 2012, I WILL be at my goal weight, 160lbs!!! I want to cross my legs...I have NEVER been able to cross my legs. Man, I may just cross my legs while sitting on the toilet! YES, it's just that serious to me! I want this badly. Facing reality, most men don't want me because of my size. PLEASE NOTE THAT I AM NOT HAVING THIS DONE JUST TO GET A MAN!!
But, thinking about it, my size has to be the reason. Besides that, what else could there be? I have a career, my own place, a vehicle, a little change in my pockets and in the bank (until this surgery!) and I'm NOT ugly. At least, I don't think I'm ugly...So what else could there be? I have friends and I seem to be able to keep them, so I guess my personality is in good condition...SO??? Again, I ask, what else is there?? So...I guess, in a way, I am doing this so that I can get a good man who will love me! I am 29 years old. I want a husband and some babies! Even if I did have a boyfriend right now, I'd be too self conscious of myself to think he loves me, and every time a woman who is smaller or cuter than me passed by, I'd be wondering if he'd rather have her than me... Cause honestly, that's kinda how I feel now. Self-esteem is shot! I really am happy about most areas of my life. Great family, great career, great friends and coworkers... All is well, thank God. My weight is the ONLY thing I'm hating! So, it's time to do something about it! Bottom line:
1. I want to be at a healthy, normal weight
2. I want to feel good about myself
3. I want to shop in regular stores, not just those that cater to plus sized women (although I am grateful to LB, Catherine's Ashley's and Cato Plus just to name a few)
4. I want to cross my legs!!! (I think I said this already... LOL)
5. I want to be able to go for a run around the neighborhood
6. I want a man.... (yes, I admit it!)
So, as I continue to blog, I'm hoping to look at this same message a year from now and have MOST, if not ALL of these goals accomplished! Maybe if I keep blogging and keep tying my goals, I'll eventually reach them all! Guess these will be my accountability blogs!
Until next time, happy losing!!
About Me
LA
Location
49.4
BMI
Surgery
05/25/2011
Surgery Date
Mar 10, 2011
Member Since
