susieequte

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

so i'm finally back from the hospital and i'm actually kind of sad. i will miss the nurses and the excellent staff that helped to make my stay just wonderful and comfortable as possible. also Dr.Steele was just awesome she was everything anybody could want in a doctor and more she even made a trip up to the hospital just to see me on her day off bringing along her adorable 2 year old son just to make sure i was okay. i love her for everything she went out of her way to do for me for her sternness with me when i needed it the most, i can't say enough about her or find the right words to even say what i feel about her.if you or anyone you know gets a chance to have rny surgery at John Hopkins bayview you should really have Dr. Steele do your surgery she is more than capable and is very caring she goes above and beyond for her patients.just can't sing enough of her praises!!now i'm on my own and will need all the support i can get to make this work.

 this represents how happy I'm that I've finally got a surgery date and that it is right around the corner ... November 3rd!!!! Besides being happy that all my hard work has finally paid off, I'm also very nervous and scared,anxious. even though the 3rd is only eight days away it just feels like a lifetime and I'm hoping nothing else happens to delay this. my doctor(Kimberly Steele) is very strict and she kind of scares me sometimes,my first initial visit with me she told me that this was an elective surgery and that she could refuse to do it for any reason she deemed worthy. yikes right so i've done everything that she has asked and I'm just so scared that the surgery date will get here and she will tell me that she won't do the surgery. it is probably  an irrational fear but i have it just the same. please keep me in your prayers and wish me the best luck. soon i start my real adventure!

so i'm more than a lil stressed right now,i've been pulling out my hair waiting for my surgeons office to call me and tell me what day my surgery will be scheduled for..... i feel like if i had that lil piece of info i could relax like 10 degreesi guess i just better hurry up and wait. Oh and i had to get my license renewed this month and i was just thinkin wow this sux's wish i already had my surgery and could put a different weight down (even though i lie anyhow) and take a pic featureing the lighter low-fat version of me what's a girl to do right ..... ugh. so until i get a date i'll be here same time same place driving myself crazy. do u think that this is normal anxious jitters or maybe i'm just a worry wart ??????

so i'am in a good place right now! had a vist with my surgeon dr.kimberly steele to see if she was gonna give me a surgery date. well she was just so shocked that i had lost the weight that she said i had to lose in order for me to have the surgery wen i stepped on the scale and those pesky 60pd's was gone she was in shock.she said i did'nt think i was gonna do it (ouch)i luv to prove pepole wrong about me. although i feel that if dr.steele would'nt have been so stern and ,i won't lie a lil scary, i don't think i would have worked so hard to lose the weight so in a week i should know what day my surgery will be. my emotions r hetic right now i mean scared,excitied,anxious and so on. so i defintely will be putting up more posts till then 

so it's been quite a while since i've checked in here big mistake! i need my OH support other wise i let life in general distract me now i'm cramming to lose these last 5 pounds so my surgeon can give me a surgery date please pray for me or send me postive messages or whatever it is u might do to encourage please feel free to do it for me. july 11th is my next appointment with my surgeon so please wish me luck

so i've been going to the gym 4 - 5  days a week for 60 min every time, also i just have been trying to move more instead of sitting on the couch and watching tv all day. i've been trying to move to stay on my feet walk up and down my apartment stairs 3 - 4 times a day instead of just when i'am ready to leave for the day, in fact i'm sure that i'am driving my neighbors crazy [ like why is she walking down the stairs and back up and going nowhere] so it is finally paying off on the scale. i just have to say that i'am feeling pretty good about myself!! if that's wrong i don't wanna be right. so i'm getting closer to the weight my doc wants me to be at  i have 37lbs to go so just wish me luck and send me positive support and I'll do the same.

so i have been going to the gym for 5 days a week for about three weeks ,and i've only lost about 3 pounds in the last two weeks. so wtf is wrong with that picture?? how many hours do i have to log at the gym to get results.  i mean maybe i'm just being manic about this. but if u cut ur calories and go to the gym after being sedentary for so long shouldn't u be seeing better resultsor am i  just crazy. should i just give it more time???i don't know some were in the back of my mind there is this little voice saying u are way to hard on yourself!! well i'll just wait and see. i'm going to weigh myself in every week to see were i'm at weight wise so till next friday i'll be, pump pump pumping ti up. 

so i know i was supposed to update all my friends on my weight loss, but i was having some issues with my insurance and oh ya! more important than anything i did not lose any weight i did not gain any weight but i did not lose any weight.  so i got really hard on myself and just generally got so depressed, i needed a good friend to bitch and complain to. but my good friend was such a good friend that she gave me a kick in the ass and basically told me to not get so down and myself and [as much of a cliche that this maybe] stop looking at the glass as half empty all the time. she is right. you never saw heard though [can't let her get a big head]. it is hard to remember that the weight is not going to magically melt off no matter how much i wish that it would. i'am not going to lie though i did backslide because i did not see the numbers on the scale go down. i went straight to mickey d's and got a double fillet o fish sandwich fries and a soda,so terrible right. this is the behavior that got me to the weight i'am at now and it makes me sick that i'am such and emotional eater and that i went right back to that sad/mad/bored eating that has always been mortal enemy and friend. that is something that i have to work on because it is just not good for me. so next time i'am upset i will blog or hit the gym. probably mostly blog so get used to hearing alot about  whats going on i my head.

                                                                                                             ttyl,
                                                                                                                   susie 

so today i go for my psych evalu and i have to say i'm pretty nervous but thats normal right ? yay it is.  i'm just all over the place because this is like the last thing i have to do on my surgeons checklist so alot is riding on this. the very last thing i have to do is lose 60 lbs, so far i have lost 14lbs but i still have a long way to go .... i have not weighed myself in 2 weeks because i was starting to get a little obsessed with the number on the scales so i had to reign it in a little bit . but tonight i'm going to the gym for my 60 min  [6 days a week] workout and i'm going to weigh myself, so wish me luck because i am hopeing to see signifcant  amount dropped so cross ur fingers for me and  i will sign in tommrow and let u know the news!!!

 why when a guy approaches me he has to say what's up big girl, big mama, big sexy, big ........... insert noun here!  it absolutely drives me insane i mean if i like u i'm not going to come up and say hey there big ears,whats going on hairy chest or small chicken legs or whatever it is that relates to ur appearance. it just kills me i mean why can't u say just say hi there miss or how about may i know ur name. these are the things that make me want to shut myself up in my apt and never come out again!!!!!