Susan H.

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....sigh...

Yep! Life has some big changes sometimes. Good and bad!
I recently started a new position. It is a GOOD change. Unfortunately, I didn't even think about how it was going to effect me and my weight loss.

I didn't even realize how happy and content I was with my WLS routine at my unhappy job until I left! YIKES! I felt like I was spinning out of control! But hey...that was half of it! I recognized I was out of control, out of my comfort zone and ran with it! I set new routines in motion. Within a month I saw things that I was doing correctly and things that still needed to be tweaked and changed.

During this time I stayed FAR away from the scale. I just knew that if I stepped on it I would just die!!! So I just put my nose to the grind stone and did what I knew was right and what would work for me. And....WHEW! I finally got on the scale and it said THE SAME!! YEA ME!!! 

I'm back on track and proud of me!!  GO ME!!!

Back to work!!!

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Just need to shout it out....HAPPY SURGIVERSARY TO ME!!!

One year ago today I had lap RNY in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico by a wonderful doctor, Dr. Joya.
I am down 126 pounds, 8 sizes, off all but one of my medications. I have NO complications due to my surgery and NO comorbidity aches and pains!!! 

I short....I'm loving life and loving my RNY!!!

Thank you OH for being by my side through my journey!!!

Enjoy the ride!!!

Susan
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I DID IT!!! I 'OFFICIALLY' have made it to Onederland!!! WooHoo! and Whew!!!
I have been, agonizoningly, hovering at and around the 200 clunker (clunker is the sound the big metal weight on the doctors scale every 50 pounds. It gets louder the more times you have to move it up! 150...200...250...300!!!!) for the last 3 weeks. The numbers on the scale FINALLY moved down to 198 this morning! I know I could've said I was in Onderland but I really couldn't until I actually saw it on the scale. I only weigh in on Monday mornings...once a week. I do that so the scale won't dictate to me how I will be feeling for that day, every day. So these past few weeks has been SUPER frustrating to me to not see the scale move down!!!
.....huge exhale.....
It finally did this morning!  I jumped on the scale (I know...early...but I couldn't wait!) on Saturday morning and it wal LITERALLY at 200.0!! WHAT!!???  Couldn't it have read...199.9?? Just 1/10th of a pound less? OH NO...can't do that!!!  I suppose that is what i get for jumping on two days early. Cruel joke mother nature!!!
So now...the journey continues!! I have 48 pounds to go to goal. I'm just thrilled with my progress and feeling better and better every day!

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I did it!!! I made the 100 losers club!!! YIPEE!!! I am officially at a loss of 102 pounds this morning and feel terrific!!! Whew...what a ride!!

I am also back to riding horses again! Not my BIG horse for my big bum, but a normal horse!! And I'm not killing her with my weight!! And even better....I am getting on all by myself from the ground!!! 

What an awsome thing!!! I LOVE my RNY!!!! (most of the time...heehee)

I need to get my century club badge now!!!

64 more to go!!!

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You know how when you are pre-op and you spend countless hours cruising around on OH reading different peoples profiles and think...Gosh, I can't wait/I wish that was me!!!??
Well....POW....I saw the light! It's now ME!!  As of this week, I only weigh in on Monday's or that darn scale will dictate to me, I have lost a whopping 82, big 'ol sloppy, ugly, painful, nasty, aching pounds! 82!!! 
YIPPPEEES...that's SO close to 100! I cannot believe it's me!

I'm just now, at times, can see the changes in me. Just today I saw BIG changes. I almost cried when I saw a picture of the "fat Susan". I hurt so bad for her. 

Is that weird to say???  I realized that when I was that size and saw that picture, I didn't see what I and everyone else could see. Sad...really sad.
BUT.....I'm a loser now!!!

Just look at this...it's already 2008! And I haven't posted in 3 months!!?? What's up with that!!??
No real excuse. Life's been busy.
Me? I'm hanging in there and doing alright. The first 2 months were pretty tough as far as healing and relearning. I went throught the tired stage pretty well. Yes...I was tired, but was able to work full time, just not be the wife or mom much at home for awhile. So it wasn't a big surprise, I explained to the fam what was a possibility of happening after I returned from Mexico. 
I made it through the clear liquid stage, liquid stage and into the pureed food stage with no issues. Well one...my taste buds changed BIG time and I just couldn't swallow the protein shakes I did pre-op. I got into the pureed stage and found lot's 'o issues in this stage. I had a bout of not being able to hold much down for 2-3 weeks. It was pretty tough and frustrating....as you can imagine. I did some reevaluating and started back at the basics and improved slowly. I found that 90% of my problems with eating wasn't the surgery at all....it was ME! Surprise...surprise!!!  Old habits die hard! I spent many an hour with my head in the toilet, sink and/or trash can. I got really good at "regurgitating". That's basically what it was. Too big of bites, and too fast equals...bbbblllleeeeecccchhhhh!!!!
Thank you new tool!!!! As awful as it was, this is exactly what I signed up for!!
I am 3.5 months out and am almost 70 pounds down. Not too shabby!!!!
I've gone through my closet and culled out a lot of things. Very healing...very healing. 
I'm now where I need to go out and get some clothes that fit and are not falling off me! Go figure....haven't seen that much before!!!

I will work hard at keeping my blog updated....promise! Even if it's just lil blurbs. Writing helps and I remember reading posts helped so much in pre-op. 
I hope my stories can and do help.

Chat soon!

2008 will be GREAT!!
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I'm in the process of writing the whole story of my lap RNY in Puerto Vallarta.

Stay tuned!!

Sprinting over the tarmac, wielding a thorned whip, cometh Suz! And she gives a vengeful scream:

"In the name of malice, I pillage like a river of pure piranha!"

I see I haven't posted in over a month....bad, bad, me.
Time seems to be flying by once I made my decision to self pay and decided on a surgeon. 
I got financing secured. Whew.... what a relief. It is with a HORRIBLE interest rate, but we are doing a home remodel loan in a few months and will pay this one off. Yes....I could've waited a few months until we got this loan, but I was so done with waiting. My patience has run out. I know I am paying fees for this, but it was time. I don't expect a lot of people to understand. But this is what had to happen and happen now! Ya know?

Fast forward a few weeks, and I am no on day 6 of the two week liquid pre-op diet. Yes...just liquids. A LOT of protein shakes and Crystal light! After day two it got a whole lot easier. However, I felt a deprivation tantrum coming up last evening. All because I didn't plan ahead. On a whim, we drove down, 1.5 hrs. to IKEA. If you haven't ever been there....GO!! How fun!!! After 3 hours of shopping and 5.5 hrs after my last protein shake, I was getting really super grumpy, jittery and just plain no fun. I tried an tried to flip my attitude, but I was hungry!  My wonderful DH is doing the liquid pre-op diet along with me and he was feeling about the same. So you and only imagine what a lovely pair we were!!  haha...
On my own, I decided to stop all caffeine and diet soda when I started this liquid diet. So my crankiness was just peachy!!! I realized it, and really tried to keep my cool, but said we had to leave...NOW! They have a wonderful diner in there that was smelling fabulous. We had to get out of there.
We located a local 7-ll convience store and picked up a couple of Slim fasts and two berry-pomagrante Crystal Light slurpees. YUM!  All was good!!! And we didn't go to any of the local fast food joints to break our liquid diets. I'm SO proud of ourselves!!!
Lesson learned.....think and plan ahead! ALWAYS carry some protein with you. That was horrible!!!

OK....continuing on we go! Next stop....Puerto Vallarta!!!

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Sometimes I just cannot believe the rollercoaster that I live. This morning, at 3 am when I couldn’t sleep. My mind was spinning because of this rollercoaster and I was looking for a way to get off. At least for a time to catch my breath. Do you ever feel like you are just going and going, and things/issues just keep coming and coming at you??? Better yet…do you ever feel like that and you look at friends, family, or neighbors and think that their lives are just perfectly calm, cool, and collected? THAT is where I am at.

 This morning it was time to flag down the carnie and tell him that I needed off for a bit. Thankfully, he listened.

 Let me explain….

 As you’ve read from my posts before, I’ve been fighting for approval for WLS from my insurance company WITH an attorney. No go. I’ve had enough denials to last more than a lifetime. So I am taking matters into my own hands and not letting this last denial get me down and out. I went and researched (and researched some more) to get lap RNY in Mexico. From what I found, there are a lot of fine doctors and facilities that do the lap RNY in Mexico and the stereotype of it being bad to go to Mexico for your WLS is just not true.

 I’ve decided to use Dr. Joya in Puerta Vallarta. I’ve chatted with Gerald, his assistant, and have tentatively set a date of Septemeber 25^th for my lap RNY surgery!! My husband is going to go with me for support, help, and love. As well as, he will get to go to on the beach vacation that he has been longing to go on…..sort of.

 So…there is part of the rollercoaster. The surgery, the financing, etc.

 Now for the  rest…

I have had a love of horses my entire life. In my younger days, I showed hunter jumpers. But soon came college, boys, marriage, and kids. I got out of horses for 20 years. When I divorced I decided that I was missing part of myself and I NEEDED to have horses back in my life. They are in my blood and are therapeutic to me in a big way. Fast forward…..I am celebrating my 8 year anniversary with my DH this month and have 4 horses! Horses are like chips…. you cannot have just one!

Things in life worked out that I have a big, beautiful black Percheron mare. Big enough for me at my heaviest of 310 to ride. I decided that it was time for me to get back in the saddle and jump start my exercising by sending her, Bella, to a trainer and having lessons for myself.

 It was heaven being back in the saddle again. Awkward because of the size I was, but that didn’t hinder or hurt Bella. And that is what mattered. We were doing well in training…..until….

On June 14^th I was ending my last lesson on Bella. I was sitting on her talking to my trainer who was on the ground next to me. I committed the worst offense a rider could do….I relaxed on her. And at that moment the 30 head herd in the pasture behind us started running full force and hollering from something that scared them. Being a ‘flight’ animal, she did what instinct told her to do, and beat feet outta there…and fast!

 There is nothing worse than a horse going one way and you another. And then to top it off... being fat!    Yep….you got it….crash….Bang….OUCH!

 I fell from 6 ‘ up, right on my tailbone and right side. I then(I was told) spun around and stopped myself with my forehead on a metal pole. OUT LIKE A LIGHT!! Only briefly. When I opened my eyes, I was face down in the dirt, my right side and back were on fire and could not move. I had an idea that I hit my head, but the fact that I couldn’t move anything on my right side worried me a bit more at that time.

I lay there for a while on the ground. Lucky for me, my good friend was with me, along with the trainer and owner of the facility. I would not let them call 911. I just knew I could shake it off. I HAD to. I had my brother flying in that evening for my son’s high school graduation the next day and a big party at our house on Saturday. I tried and tried to fake it and get up, but after 30 minutes and a few times of trying to get up and almost passing out because of the pain, I finally let them call 911.

 Well…being this is the OH website I can be brutally honest and have many of you understand my feelings. 
Being hurt to the point that you are in need of 911 is bad, but needing 911 and being obese…..REALLY BAD. A NIGHTMARE!!!   One of my worst fears. 
I had to be put on a backboard, lifted onto a gurney, put in the ambulance, IV attempted and put in on the second try and morphine administered. I was then taken to the nearest hospital. The fun didn’t end there…oh no…..I had to be left on the back board for 4 hours, lifted again (by many) on to the hospital bed, had my clothes cut off of me and more. Humbling beyond humbling. I wished the earth would've open up and swallowed me whole. After a cat scan on my head, an x-ray of my bum, and many hours of just waiting. Finally, I was told that I was lucky. I didn't have any broken bones (contrary to how I was feeling all over) and I was sent home with a prescription for pain killers.

Now…..fast forward 7 weeks. I’m on the mend...or so I thought. I am going to a physical therapist, masseuse, and chiropractor once a week or more. I was told by doctors, that I had muscle and  soft tissue damage and it would take a few weeks, but I will be fine. 
Well after 7 weeks, the pain in my back was getting worse. I finally went back to my doctor and told him that something was wrong. Just to satisfy me I feel, my doctor sent me to have an MRI done on my thoracic spine. Surprise to my doctor, not one day later, he had his a assistant call me to say that I had not one, but TWO compression fractured vertebrae. YIKES!!!! What a shock to hear! But a relief to know that I wasn't being a whinney weinnie about the pain. I truly had issues. Major issues.

After the weekend went by and a lot of thinking, I called my doctors office on Monday and made an appointment to talk with him about my back, the MRI and other issues that may have been missed. I just can't believe he had his assistant call to tell me such a thing. That is wrong! So very wrong!!  
I also requested the MRI report. HOLY COW! It hit me like a load of bricks. And I was at work to boot. After reading the report I see that I was not told the entire facts of my issues they found on the MRI. I was blown away when I read the report.

 It stated that I have ‘acute compression fractures of T6 amd T9’. Acute? Dictionary.com….acute-:severe or extreme. EXTREME!! OHMYGAWSH!!!!!!!!! As well as a bulging disk between T5 and T6, and I am now shorter because of the compression!!!  The tears just started flowing and would not let up. I couldn’t handle it being at work any longer. I left for the day.
The reality was hitting me hard. I couldn't believe I was soooooooooo close to being killed or paralyzed. All the thoughts of what I have been doing over the last 7 weeks to get better, came rushing to me. Because I was told I had muscle and tissue damage, I was getting massages, physical therapy AND chiropractic work done. The chiropractor was really working hard on my spine because “it just wasn’t getting better”. NO KIDDING! It wasn't getting better because my back was being refractured each and every time he was adjusting me. At one point I even had my big, burly,  & strong husband try to crack my back while I lay on my stomach. HOLY GUACAMOLE….he could’ve severed my spine! Thank goodness I couldn’t relax enough and he stopped trying to pop my back.

So now I am on the mend all over again. My WLS date is 6 weeks away so it won’t be an issue by then.

The only issue I have with the WLS is getting me passport in time!  I put an expidite on it…so we’ll see how quick it comes.

So…that’s it. That's the update. I am happy to say that I am finally going to have WLS. It cannot come quick enough for me. I’m SO ready! I just wish I wasn’t hurting. But that will pass and the rollercoaster ride will, hopefully, be over for awhile.

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