sweetdoxie
My story?? I don't know how to even begin, but before I do, please take the time to read it all the way through becasue in the end, it has brought me here for the support I long for.
I started gaining weight slowly after high school, as I was no longer active in sports. By the time I was 26 I was 286 lbs. I know I had to change. I had the R-n-Y in Nov of 2003. It was like a mircle...at first. The weight fell off, I felt sexy and confident....but with it came the cost of my marriage. Your body is not the only thing that changes, you attitude, your mind, EVERYthing changes too. Shortly after my divorce, I feel in love again. Deeper than I thought was possible, I was thin (not quite my goal - about 148), confident, had this amazing life! Work was awesome, my man was awesome, my friends were awesome, LIFE...WAS...GOOD!!! Until it wasn't.....
My relationship ended in a way that no woman should ever experience. I became a lost soul, a shell of the confident woman I had become. Suddenly I found myself alone, except for the one friend who had always been there to celebrate with me or to console with me....food. Oh glorious food. My best friend and my mortal enemy.
My vice was, and still is, White Mochas!! Loaded with full fat milk and whip cream. Right down my pouch they go!! And don't even get me started on the array of slider foods of empty carbs that filled my pouch with zero neutrients.
By the end of 2007 I found myself at 214, severely mal-neutricent, and horribley depressed. Nothing turned out like it was suppose too. I felt like I had ruined everything.
In March of 2008, with the help of my family and friends, I moved to San Diego, Ca to start a new life. My old life was long gone, my last new life had crumbled in emence sorrow that there are no words to discribe, and I had to do something different.
Its now June 2009....I have been kinda taking care of my heart and mind the last year.
But now its time to tackle my body. I am 192. (Hide it well, but still.....) I am severely anemic, with a Hct of 29, and I want to find that sexy, confident woman that got lost a few years ago.
I have no before pictures, because I swore I would never be there agian.....I have no after pictures becasue I distroyed when my heart was broken. All I have are pictures of me now...in this in between stage of neither obeese or thin....although, I suppose since I am starting over, the pictures I have can be my before??
I know my story is kinda sad....but it has lead me here. I need support. I need some friends who understand...I need to know how to begin again....
I am a super cool chick!! Fun, funny, loyal, and all around kick in the pants!! I just have to remember how!
