I hate Thanksgiving! yes I said it...

Nov 23, 2011

Ok ok, don't get pissed, but I have to say it.  I love getting togther with family and friends but I really hate that Thanksgiving is a total eating holiday.  I can't think of anything I would like to eat that would make me feel as great as I do now and frankly watching everyone gorge beyond belief make me GAG!  I get the honor of fixing the dinner every year and I love cleaning the house and getting everything ready and then comes the dreaded food... OMG!  I wish I could get a grip on this but going to the store and spending the money of food I can't eat, it makes me crazy.  The money that's spent on this one dinner could buy me and great new outfit and some new boots. LOL  Such is the life of a wls patient.  Why can't you eat turkey or ham, no sugar what the hell?  Its all good, I'll have some wine and enojoy the family time.  That is the best part right? FAMILY. What would I do without my amazing family?  This year I'm thankful for my husband, we have been threw hell and back.  He's still my best friend even threw it all.  I can't imagine a life without him.  My amazing son, he's been my friend, my rock and my life.  My daughter, she is amazing, finding her own way in the world.  My parents, they have supported me threw good and bad.  I am truly blessed.  I thank God everyday for my family!  Thanksgiving is finally a holiday for me meaning "Thanks"  not about the food we eat but about the the belssing in our lives!  A very thankful...Lou (~.~)

0 comments

3 years post op!

Aug 29, 2011

I just went for my 3 year check up.  I've lost a total of 178 lbs.  Down from a size 26 to a 4.  All my labs were great.  No complaints!  Well none about my weightloss HAHA! 
2 comments

I like being skinny

Jul 14, 2010

OK OK, I know its not PC, politically correct.  But hell its true.  I not only like it I freaking love it!  Am I really skinny?  Who knows, but I'm a hell ova lots thinner than I ever was.  People don't like to see you "skinny".  Its a fact and I'm sure people won't like to hear me say this either.  Fat friends find comfort in your being fat or fatter than they are.  Its a strange world of weight loss.  I never thought that loosing weight and getting healthy could effect every aspect of your life.  The way I look at it is, I wanted to live.  I wasn't living I was existing.  Just making it threw life, enjoying what I could but not having the energy to do the things I always dreamed of doing.  Then I had wls and my world changed.  Drastically.  First I morned food.  Just because I couldn't eat it didn't make it look bad or even smell bad.  I lost a good friend in food.  Then I got to go off all my medications. It was a great day when I got to toss the blood pressure, asthma, and anti depressant medications.  Next was feeling better.  Oh how much better I feel.  I sleep good, I have energy like I never imagined.  Finally the bonus.....I say bonus because it truly is a bonus, looking better.  Its what people see, its how they treat you.  No one says OMG you've lost all that weight, I bet you sleep better and you're off all your medications.  No its always you look so much better.  Well great!  Don't get me wrong I'm thrilled with looking better.  Its not a ruff time being treated nice and having doors held open for you.  The smiles from strangers.  Sad people treat you different when you are thin.  No one understands the struggles with being morbidly obese unless you've been there.  Being able to shop in "normal stores"  Buying cute panties and dressing in form fitting clothes. Being healthy is the best!  Its all an amazing thing.  I'm two years out and everyday still something amazes me about having lost 174 lbs.  Will I ever get used to it?  I hope so. My favorite thing is to go where people didn't know me when I was heavy.  Its like a glimpse of having been a normal size all along. None of them knew the fat me.  So I do like being skinny? its unbelievable.  My surgery saved my life and also gave me the life I never dreamed possible.  Very thankful, Lou :D 
3 comments

What I've learned about WLS in 15 months ;)

Jan 08, 2010

1. My life is totally different from a year ago.  I can breathe, run, jump, bend, tie my shoes, dance, ride roller coasters, shop anywhere, sit at any place in the restaurant, cross my legs, rest well at night, the list goes on and on.

2.  I don't take any meds, only vitamins.  Goodbye BP meds, asthma meds and anti depressants.  Hello healthy!

3.  My body looks like a train wreck.  Yes I said it,  a twisted metal train wreck.  But you know what? Who gives a shit!  Thank God for Kymaro body shapers and sucker in underwear. BONUS:I can now get my belly button and my nipples pierced all with one needle at the same time.  Thank God I don't live in a nudist camp or everyone would need therapy. 

4. You put up with alot of bullshit.  The caddy things people say like I can't afford to just have surgery like you did or that was the easy way out. Your fat friends that now glare at you.  Your family that tells you now you are too skinny.  Your husband or Sig OT that loves the new you but is jealous of all the attention you now get.  Being asked " Can you eat that?"  Shut up, I know what I can eat! DAMN!  

5. Where did half my friends go?  You know the ones that called every Friday night to go out to dinner and drink?  The ones that you were always bigger than?  Where the hell did they go?  Every time I'm at the grocery store I'm looking for them on the milk carton.  

6. Eating is like a job.  Some days I would rather take a leave of absence then drink another protein drink.  Food is no longer pleasure to me.  I would rather not have to stop to eat.  Things I use to love taste like crap.  I'm a cheap date.  I can share off your plate, really I won't eat much.  You won't even miss it. 

7.  I'm embarrassed to tell people how much weight I've lost.  Person: " How much weight have you lost?"  Me: "164lbs"  Person:"WOW" ( but they look like someone punched them in the gut) Like they are thinking holy crap you were a real fat ass, I don't remember you being THAT big.  Well I was, I'm not now so lets move on.

8. No I haven't gone ape shit!  Just because I wanted to wear a feathered skirt for NYE and dance like I was in the movie flash dance doesn't mean I've gone mad.  I have alot of time to make up for.  I want to get out and dance and act crazy like you do when you are young and feel good.  I missed out on that because I had no energy.  Get on board with this, lets have some fun! LIFE IS FUN!

9. Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.  BS?  not really.  I feel so damn good!  I can't think of anything I used to eat that tasted as good as I feel right now.  Trust me if I could think of something to eat that would make me feel this good I would eat it. Would I ever! I don't miss the sugar lows or that stuffed feeling like after eating Thanksgiving dinner.  While everyone sits around complaining they are stuffed I just sit and smile.

10.  Lastly I would like to say to the new people just starting out.  The road that you are traveling isn't an easy one. I would hope no one has major surgery and thinks its a cake walk and magically the weight just falls off and then you can skip down a lovely little path right on to the rest of your life. Snap out of it!  Its a life style change.  There are bumps in any road.  Follow the rules, take your vitamins and simmer down. It really does get easier as time goes on.  Its all a routine part of your life and life is just normal now. All good things are coming your way, all in good time. I WOULDN'T CHANGE A THING!   ;) Lou
5 comments

13 months and -158

Nov 22, 2009

OK better late than never, right?  I really enjoyed my blog up to this point and now my weight loss has slowed and I'm nearing goal, there's not too much to say.  I went to my one year appointment in Columbia.  Everything was great, my iron came back a little low.  Even though I was taking it like they recommended so now I'm take double.  I'll have to have that rechecked soon.  I wasn't having any effects from it being low.  They asked me to send in pics and sign a waver to use them in advertising. WOW! Life for me now is just Normal.  Let me talk about normal for a min.  All I ever wanted to be was normal, wear normal sized clothes, eat normal sized portions, fit in normal size booths, just blend in.  Well I've done it.  I'm less than 10 lbs to goal( that keeps changing) and I finally feel normal.  Normal is good, its sweet and its been worth everything I've gone threw to get here.  Normal means not being noticed because you're the biggest person in the room, but being noticed because you have a nice smile or someone likes your hair.  Normal means not panicking when you go to a restaurant and wonder if your going to fit into the booth and want to crawl under the table when you don't.  Normal is not just having one place to shop at the mall, one store with clothes that will fit. Normal is not thinking about food all the time. Normal is having energy to do things and not feeling tired all the time.  These are all things I'm so very thankful for, Being normal is ALL I ever wanted. Sometimes you do get your wish!  So very thankful, Lou ;)
1 comment

- 143 and Surgiversary! WooHoo!

Oct 04, 2009

One year is already here!  I can hardly believe it myself.  It seems like just yesterday I was looking into having surgery and going threw all the testing.  So much has happened in this very short year it hard for me to wrap my mind all the way around it.  I've gone from a size 28 jeans to now a snug 9 haha!  Last night I wore an 11 very comfortably.  I have all the good things happening that come along with weight loss.  No meds, check, not tired all the time, check, feeling fantastic, check and looking a helluva lot better, check.  I would never want to go back to the way I was feeling a year ago.  I've lost an entire person.  That's just crazy!  I'm still not at goal and I'm OK with that.  The weight is still coming off at about 1-2 lbs per week.  I'll make it to goal or I'll make it to where ever my body is going to stabilize and be happy.  I have my one year appointment in a couple of weeks and I'm going to ask for my measurements.  They took them at my very first Dr visit. I'm anxious to see how my inches I've lost.  I'm sure its going to blow my mind.  For people just starting out their journey I want to say that the road traveled isn't always an easy road.  There are twists, turns and bumps BUT there is a light at the end of the tunnel and its called a new life.  I feel like I've got a second chance to do all the things that I couldn't do with all the extra weight I was carrying around.  I spend alot less time worrying about if I'm going to wake up in the morning and more time thinking about what I'm going to do next.  Nothing can stop me now.  I have no chains holding me back.  I'm going to pick up and just keep moving forward and not look back.  I'll take my old fat self with me on the rest of the journey and remember compassion for those that are dealing with the issues of being morbidly obese.  I have lived it, I know the struggles.  There is HOPE!  There are miracles.  I stand here today living proof, if you want something bad enough YOU can make it happen.  Just put one foot in front of the other and start with positive thinking.  I can't come up with the words to describe how happy I am with how I feel right now.  I wish I could just freeze this moment and remember it for a life time!  Blessed and Thankful, Lou (~.~)
0 comments

Eleven months -138

Sep 08, 2009

I'm so amazed at this journey.  Never ever in my life did I think that I could loose this much weight.  I feel like I've been given a whole new chance at life.  I'm thrilled with my results and just keep plugging along.  Slow and steady.  I posted something earlier and I'm going to talk about here a little too.  This question keeps popping up in my mind.  Can I just be happy at the moment?  Can I?  I hope so!  I find myself wanting more and more.  As far as weigh loss, I still have around 25 lbs from my doctors goal.  My arms are horrific, I have this fat roll around my middle that's not going to go away without surgery, my arms either for that matter.  I weigh myself everyday, sometimes several times a day.  Like the weight is going to magically fall off sometime between the time I get up and the time I go to bed.  For years I wouldn't even get on a scale, forget about it!  But now I'm almost obsessed!  I have been thinking that this journey is all about my health.  Looking better is just a wonderful side effect of the surgery.  But isn't all about health?  No more Rx's, no more high blood pressure, no more high cholesterol, no more asthma.  This is really what its all about and I need to keep this in mind while I navigate threw my days of protein powders and vitamins.  Not how I look in my new jeans or my fat roll, or arms.  I just need to keep in mind that I have my health and that's something you just can't put a price on.  Some people that's all they want and its not going to happen.  There is no medical help for them.  So I've decided from here on out there will be no more complaining about stupid fat rolls and such.  I'm going to enjoy the moment and relish in my new health.  I've never been this healthy in my entire life.  I'm so very thankful and I'm going to start acting thankful and not being so vein.  I remember a time when I would have loved to loose just 20 lbs let alone 140!  This is the moment to enjoy my blessings and that's just what I intend to do.  In the words of Joe Dirt....Life is a garden...dig it!  On to month 12, my surgiversary! (~.~) Lou

1 comment

10 months -132 and welcome to onederland! ;)

Aug 07, 2009

I'm in onederland! YAHOOOOOOoooOO!  I never thought I'd make it there.  Yet here it is.  I haven't seen under 200 since like 1989.  Maybe once I was there for a hour then back over 200.  I'm loosing about 5 lbs a month it seems like now, but this last week I lost almost 4.  I think I'm back in the groove baby!  I have been taking in more protein and calories.  This I think has helped me over the hump.  Although I have yet to go a week without loosing anything but I have had some weeks where I only lost 8 Oz's.  That is a bummer.  But then usually the following week I will drop a couple of pounds.  I can't believe its been ten months.  The further out the better its gotten.  Easier I think.  I can eat a bigger variety of things and I have yet to "cheat"  I don't know if I can bring myself to eat something the Dr. said not too.  I think I'm scared, which I think works to my advantage too.  My rule is don't even go there, then you won't want to go back.  I figure this is my life from here on out and there is nothing I can eat that would taste as great as I feel right now.  Next month is my 20 year high school reunion.  I can hardly wait!  Before I would be dreading it and worrying myself sick over how HUGE I had gotten but not now.  I can not wait to see everyone.  I'm looking for the hottest outfit I can find.  I'm thinking a tight pencil skirt and a cute top kinda a pinup girl look is what I'm going to go for.  I'm going to rush in there and make all the guys that I wanted to go out with that never asked me drool.  HAHAH This is a dream in my head.  Hey a girl can dream right?  I was thin in high school, but not so comfortable in my own skin as I am now.  Life just keeps getting sweeter and sweeter.  I have 37 lbs to go to get to goal.  I have my eye on the prize!  On to month 11. Lou (~.~)
1 comment

9 months -127 lbs

Jul 08, 2009

There is light at the end of the tunnel. ;)  I have been loosing but ever so slowly.  I'm about 6 lbs away from being under 200, which I haven't been in about 19 years.  Could I work out more? yes  Could I eat more? yes  Could I drink more water? yes  All of these things I am trying to work on.  It seems like there is just not enough time in the day to get everything done.  I knew this was going to be hard work.  I KNEW this.  But did I think it would be this hard? HELL NO! Its all worth it don't get me wrong.  I would never and I repeat never want to go back to where I began and I intend on never going there again.  I've had issues, not health wise, but friends wise and little things people say to me that are caddy.  Like " I have to diet the hard way, I can't afford to have surgery like you did" whatever.  This is the diet from hell I always explain.  I can't cheat when I want to, this IS my life now and forever.  Its not like you have surgery they wave a magic wand and poof off comes the fat.  Get real, its down right hard work.  Counting calories, carbs, fat, sugar.  Making sure you take your handful of vitamins everyday.  These are things you have to do to live now.  It does get easier by the day, its become routien for me now.  Like Nike says I just DO IT.  Friends that use to call to go out don't call anymore.  I thought, I hadn't changed.  But really I have changed.  I can't eat and drink like I used to and I don't even want to.  My world doesn't revolve around food anymore.  So I guess in that aspect I did change for the better, but for the worse for my overweight friends that enjoyed my company over plates of food and drinks.  Its by far been the best thing I've done for myself hard as it is.  I have about 40 lbs to go to get to goal.  I will make it.  I can't believe it that I'm only 40 lbs overweight.  Crazy being that 9 months ago the dr. said I needed to loose 160 lbs. woah!  I have been so active, floating, roller coasters, walking and swimming.  All the things I was too tired to do before.  No I'm never going back, I like the new me and my family seems pretty happy about the positive changes also. Nothing easy is worth having...... On to month 10 ;) Lou
0 comments

8 months -120lbs (~.~)

Jun 03, 2009

Eight months post op is here.  My weight loss this last month has been slow.  BUT I think my body is taking a break and shifting around.  Although I only lost 5 lbs this last month I went down several pant sizes.  I've gone from a 16 to a 12 in the last month.  I haven't worn a 12 in YEARS.  My body looks like a train wreck.  Not with clothes on, I look half way decent, but naked, its down right scary.  LOL  I was shopping for some clothes the other day and I was thinking I can't wear that because of my arms, I can't wear this because of my legs and then I thought screw it, I'm just going to embrace the body I have for now and wear the things that I want too.  Never bothered me when I was 327 lbs, why now?  Eventually I will get the plastic surgery to make me look half way human when I'm undressed but not for a couple of years.  This is recomended by my doctor.  I can wait but until then I say if you don't like what your looking at then you best turn your head. HAHA!  This is the first summer in like 5 that I'm going to wear shorts.  I even wore a short jean skirt to work and got compliments.  I'm going to get airbrush tanning done and maybe this will help out also.  The strangest thing is the people that don't know who you are.  I've had people I've known for a long time walk right by and look right at me.  I know I've changed, but really I can't be recognized?  Weird, I guess when you look at yourself everyday you don't realize how dramatic the transformation is.  I still don't get this part at all.  My energy level is threw the roof.  I can get up early and go until the wee hours of the morning.  I don't even require the amount of sleep that I used to.  This has been my favorite part, just feeling good and not being tired.  Its been a real blessing for me and my family.  I want to shout off the roof tops....I LOVE MY RNY!!!!!! ;) Lou

1 comment

About Me
Springfield, MO
Location
RNY
Surgery
10/07/2008
Surgery Date
Aug 29, 2008
Member Since

Friends 111

Latest Blog 20

×