Frankie Lee

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

4/3/04
my stomach is soooo sick. my surgery is scheduled for 4/14 and im still waiting for insurance to give me a yea or nea. i have been preparing myself mentally, physically and every other way for 4/14. i cant stand this. i am soooo sick in my stomach. please lord jesus, help me. im a wreck. i cant sleep. i cant concentrate. please god help me calm my nerves, help me with my faith, oh lord.

4/5/04
talked to tina collins at aetna today. needed my permission to review my file. said it would be done in a day or so. still sick. cant sleep. trying to keep the faith. while i am waiting, i will praise your holy name.

4/17/04
my surgery was scheduled for 4/14/04. it did not happen. aetna denied it because they said they didnt have enough information in my pcp medical charts. they probably dont. from what i saw my dr. has not been taking many notes when i visit. so now i have to see a dietician for three months. dr. f. talked with the supervising dr and relayed the info to me. i really appreciated dr. f letting me know. im still soooo sad and sooo sick.

i have been reading about other peoples battle with insurance companies. i never thought it would happen to me. this has given me more compassion for others. i understand the need for insurance companies to have a protocal when making decisions for certain procedures. but, i think the hoops and fire they make people go through is rediculous. i know there are others who probably need this surgery more than me (they have more serious weight related issues), so wont their medical charts, our medical charts show weight/issues/problems? one reason im doing this surgery is so my children will live in a healthier environment. the U S may ban this surgery in the future based on insurance companies unwilliness to approve these procudures if my kids were to ever need it. i pray that they never will.

ive been acting a fool. smoking, partying, behaving recklessly. (not way out there though.) i feel so defeated and rejected. i feel like this is not going to happen. i thought for sure god wouldnt make me wait, because it seemed like everything was moving so smoothly. then its like i got hit with a mack truck. stopeed me dead in my tracks. how can i make it?

used this opportunity to look at myself spiritually. i know all things work together for the good to those who love the lord and who are called according to his purpose. i know that god is in control of everything. this was no accident. maybe i did something wrong and god is making me wait as a punishment. do i trust god? with all my being. how come i feel soo sad? i know it was my hope and my expectation that is making me sad. how do i wait on god and still have joy? i dont got too much joy right now.

my raggedy selfish children pissed me off totally this week. they had me crying in the bathroom at st. marys while taking their selfish asses to get bloodwork. they are overweight and i hate it for them. they think im mean when i dont let them have certain things or when i make them eat others. sometimes i feel like they can just eat whatever they want and deal with the consequences later. but im the mom. its my responsibility to see to it that they are as healthy as i can do. they wont get it until they want to get it.

i will stop my reckless behavior this week. i figurd im on vacation, so lets party. i will start back to curves on monday (me and my raggedy, selfish bratty kids), quit smoking again, and try to fake it till i make it. im tired of faking my life.

4/19/04
just got off the phone with dr. f. he is such a sweety. he encouraged me and told me to hang tough. shed a few tears. god really do love me.

6/24/04
i know its been a while sinse my last update, but i just didnt have the heart to do it. im the kind of person where talk is cheap. i dont talk alot about what im gonna do or what i want to happen. i just do it or not. i have a tentative date of august 3, 2004 for my surgery.

ive been seeing a nutritionist since april and it has been very helpful. many things have been going on with the family and they really needed some attention. my youngest daughter is boarderline type two diabetic. she is soooo sweet and caring and loving and sensitive. she has been struggeling with self esteem and reprogramming her eating habits. we as a family have joined the ymca in their "new kids" program which focusses on family lifestyles changes. so far we enjoy it and are participating as much as possible. this is good for us. one of the main reasons for me choosing this surgery is to promote healthier living for my girls and me.

didnt want to post because this was not real to me. still isnt until i get notification from my insurance and a real surgery date. i have been trying to loose weight before surgery to encourage my girls to loose weight. sometimes i feel like i want to eat just to satisfy a craving or because im bored or because i need something to do with my mouth because i have quit smoking. i only want to encourage my girls and model appropriate eating patterns to help them. this is very stressful but i am glad that it is happening this way. i thank the lord that he has given me courage and strength to come this far. i am truely stumbeling by faith. i dont have a set way to eat or to exercise, i try to be led by the spirit and so far it is working.

i am oh so emotional today it aint funny. i miss my true, dear, love of my life friend sonja who passed last year of cancer at the age of 37. i want her here with me to pray, to share this experience with me. sonja, i love you and miss you with all of my heart. continue to talk to jesus about us. i have adopted her son cory, whom i have loved since i met him when he was about ten years old. he will be a sophomore in college in the fall and he is such a sweet boy. he was over today and i cooked him a steak. my girls love him and have adopted him as their older brother. i have an abundant overflow of love in my heart right now.

for the past two or three weeks i have been having this terrible urge to call dr. frantzides office to just say wuz up, how yall doing, tell me someting interesting. it feels like i miss them and been away for a while. low and behold, on the week of 6/17 dr. f's office called to inform me to have my nutritionist to send a letter of my progress to the office so they could fax it to the insurance company. this was such a wonderful call and perfect timing. my nutritionist is out of town until 6/29 so i have to wait until then.

i am sooo glad that i chose dr. frantzides. i feel so protected so important so safe and sure of his abilities and the competency of his staff. i dont mind at all traveling ti il. for this procedure. i know it is only the lord who is guiding my path in this journey. thank you jesus for peace and assuradness.

im working summer school to keep my mind busy. i normally dont work in the summer, but if i dont, ill go crazy. (speaking of crazy, the prince concert was the BOMB last night) the last day of summer school is 7/30. works for me. will update when i get some new news. peace and love.

02/04/05
so much drama has been happening in my life. on 7/28 my 16 year old daughter and i got into a physical confrontation. she ran away to her dad's house, they called the police on me, and social services came and removed my 11 year old from the home at 3 in the morning. my surgery was scheduled for 8/3. so, between 7/28-8/3 i had to hire several attornies prepare for surgery, and deal with life. it was such a horrible time.

i made it to surgery on 8/3 and my mind was fried. i was so appreciative of the prescribed narcotics at the hospital. my body was hurting, my mind was crazy, my heart was broken. i was at the hospital alone. that part wasn't so bad.

i got home on 8/5 or 8/6 to find that all of my yard furniture was stolen, my home was broken into, and i couldnt see my kids. i called my pcp and she prescribed anti depressants, so i got those filled with my pain meds. my recovery from then til now has been going well. im getting used to how my body is working, what/how to eat. this part is such an adventure.

some days i can eat more than other days. i can eat almost anything. im having 2 periods a month, but oddly, this is when i loose pounds. it seems as if i loose inches during the rest of the month.

im a slow looser. at times this is discouraging. i do a no no and compare my loss to others. jan. 04 my weight was 300. the day of surgery (8/3) it was 271. today (2/05) it is 215. i cant see it, i think it should more of a loss, i wished nobody noticed. mental issues im dealing with. i try to workout at least 3 times per week.

i went to a million court appearances, the 16 year old lives with me for 7 days and then with her dumb dad for seven days. my 11 year old lives with me and visits her dad every other weekend. my daughters and i are soooo much closer and since i got divorced in 97, we have never been this close. all the drama had a good purpose. god says that all things work to gether for the good to love the lord and are called according to his purpose. sooooo true.

i sleep better, i feel more limber, and i have never eaten as healthy as i do now. my realistic goal is to reach 165-170. my dream goal is 140-150. well see. peace and love.

12/03/06

its been a minute since i have updated.  well i am doing great.  my weight is 190-195 and that makes me soooo sick.  i thought i would at least get to 180, but im still plugging along, not giving up on exercise or eating.  i fell off my exercise train during the summer and it is murder trying to get back on track.  i so appreciate my new stomach because it will not accept just anything.  i have to be careful of what i eat or i get sooo sick.  thank god.

the holidays are a bit trying this year because everyone wants to cook traditional dumb food and i want a healthy alternative.  i hosted thanksgiving and no one wanted what i planned to cook.  so i got stuck cooking all the uugghh traditional stuff and barely ate any of it.  everyone was soo happy that they were eating what they were eating.  now i have to look forward to my momma cooking the same junk for christmas that i cooked for thanksgiving.  im a bit salty.  yeh yeh, i can cook my own food and eat before i go over (which will most likely be the case)or take my own food (which is so stupid to me) but thats not the point.  people need not be sooo stuck in tradition and be willing to accomodate future generations.

 May 2, 2007

I just had ps, an lbl on march 27 and boy the recovery totally sucks.  after researching for months and reading posts on the board, i had no idea that it would be this hard.  i currently feel as if i knew i would feel this way, i never would had done this.  i would have just kept my hanging pannus and stuffed it in girdles and kept on moving.  i pray i feel differently later.  everyone says it is worth the pain and that it will be better later.  i hope and pray to the lord jesus that this happens for me.

i hate my life right now.  i hate the way i feel, and look and i hate touching my incision.  i hate massaging it, i hate putting stuff on it.  it is still sore.  i think i have had only  3 or 4 good nites sleep since my surgery.  my 18 year old daughter is balling out of control.  she was living on campus in our city, got hooked up with a looser, moved in with the looser and is showing her natural born azz.  two weeks into my recovery, her friend stopped by to visit me (inform me that my kid had stolen some of her checks and cashed them to the tune of 2thousand bucks) and informed me that my kid was pg.  praise the lord for valiums.

 couple days ago, my kid calls me from prison(my term for any type of confinement) cause she was arrested for domestic violence with her looser baby daddy.  she got out the next day and went back to the looser.

 thank god i dont gotta go back to work until may 28.  right now it seems like its too soon.  i really cant afford to be off now, but praise god we aint homeless.

 my love life stinks.  i been seen this guy for a while and im starting to despise him so.  he has not been there for me for one minute emotionally.  thats one reason i hate my life cause i dont want to care bout that sob.  i feel very alone and i need some attention.  mom, family and friends have been supportive, but i would like some intimate care.  i hope that this too will pass soon.

bty they removed 15 lbs of skin and stuff and my weight is around 180.  im still very swollen.  i dont really care about the scale right now cause i know its gonna be a while before i can accurately weigh.  my ps says im doing great.  see him again on may 7.  trying to find something to massage these ooookkkkyyyy scars with.  still using bactricin.

maybe if i remember, ill try to write in this thing for some sort of therapy.  well see.  until next time...

 may 20, 2007

me and my girls went to a waterpark the weekend of may 4 and had a marvelous time... until the 18 year old began complaing of cramps and spotting.  she wound up in the hospital via ambulace, me following on the black, dusty, back roads of baraboo, wi at midnite, me crying out to god, complaing to him that i/jaz/our family dont need no babies to be taking care of right now.  she wound up miscarrying and i praised the lord.  immo leave it there.

im feeling better a tiny bit each day.  praise the lord jesus christ!  my scars are mostly healed and i have to massage them.  i hate that.  i still hate touching them, they are not as sore as a couple weeks ago.  im still not over if this was the right thing to do. 

 i beleive god made this option of ps availiable for me cause with my picky insurance and lack of any documentation or planning this procedure, i was approved with ease.  i beleive if god didnt want this to happen it wouldnt have.  so i just thank him and praise him that he knows all things and knows what my future holds.  so im trying to be a good soldier and not complain so much, cause so many people are struggling, fighting trying to get insurance approval.

i am so in awe of the people on this site!  wow! the support, love, encouragement, love, is amazing!  folks you never laid eyes upon and dont know from adam dish out so much goodness and kindness to strangers.  i want to say thank you sooo much.  i love all yall in the lord and will pray your strength, wisdom and continued love and compassion in the lord! 

until next time...

 06/15/08
i noticed its been more than a year since my last update...thats too bad because so much has happened- the good, the bad and the ugly and i dont remember all the stuff...so ill just brief moments...

since my last post in april 07, my plastic surgery took me for a loop...im probably just in the past 2-3 months been feeling kinda normal...still want to wear my garment on occasion...my stomach muscles are not so tight, but i feel tight when i swell...i still do that...i think that ps had me jacked up all year cause i was having serious iron deficiency issues and that ps probably took my last reserves...

i didnt do too much all last summer...well i did go to florida and it was fabolous...was getting iv iron, had a botched hysterectomy in march 08 with complications and still dealing with them, but its getting better a little each day...

cant even get into my daughters...i told them i think they trynna stroke me out for the secret insurance policy they have on me...i just pray, drink wine and let it go...i cannot take stress...my stomach is sooo sensitive...for real though...i really do pray and let it go cause im a wimpy baby and cant take it...

im soooo looking forward to the m&g in atl...me and my girls are going...i hope it turns out to be a nice, memorable, relaxing vacation as i have planned it...i really need this break from the everyday stuff to be freshed and new...

i have been so reflective about my life for this past year...i have confessed many truths about myself and my thinking and my motives for making certain decisions...its releif to just tell the truth about yourself and deal with it...i thank god that he has opened my eyes to me...i dont feel like the fraud i used to feel like cause i was lying to myself...i have a sense of freedom that eases my mind...i still struggle in certain areas of my life but god knows how i despise these parts...the apostle paus says that he does what he dosent want to do and dont do what he wants to do...its war against the body and the mind...the flesh is insatiable and cannot be satisfied...i to do opposites of what i want to do and what i dont want to do...it is sin trying to control me, but the devil is a liar...i am washed by the blood of jesus...i am redeemed and will shout it from the roof tops...

until next time, whomever reads this be encouraged and my life is not about me...it about serving my lord and helping others and i pray that you be blessed by this testimony...

i must mention the beautiful souls on this board...i have so much love in my heart for them...whenever i think of the goodness and kindness they have shown to me, my heart melts...i pray that i may bring this goodness, lovingkindness to others in return...
thank you jesus, my lord and savior...amen...


Hospital Reviews

About Me

Friends 37