Tamika460

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I have been struggling so hard with this whole start over process and you know what...I plan on doing it tomorrow. I started reading on what the plan should be...and it all starts with...starting over and being mentally ready...Which i am...so today is the day...that i am giving up on the bad things and taking in the good stuff...

 it has been forever since I posted on here, but i think i should have stayed to keep my motivation up...
so many things have changed but stayed the same. I was laid off in 2010 and have been going to school ever since trying to get a degree and a certifation in medical assisting. I have a 6 year old son who is my life and that i love and the reason that i am trying this again.  

 Far as my weight goes..in 2008 I had my gastric bypass. I went from a size 32 down to a size 22 and i loved it.  I changed my life and found different things to do in order to keep my mind busy not to think of food. Anyways long story short I was happy. I was very happy. In June 24, 2011 I was dignosised with having a bowel intussusception (basically my small large intestine ate my small one, due to my connection breaking) Ever since then things have been going downhill for me. I was in the hospital for a week and lost all my motivation. I have regained some of my weight. now currently wearing 28 pants again and last time i was at the doctors office i weighted in at 326. Long story short I am about to start everything all over again. I am going to have to motivate myself and get back on track. My goal is to loss 20lbs a month and 140lbs my the end of the year. I am not sure if it is dueable but i am going to try my hardest. Come May 1st i am going to take it day by day and see where it takes me.  Wish me luck. 

Currently pants size 28
goal: 16 by 12/30

well as of the 18th i got laid off, which sucks because I will not be getting a revision any time soon, but I have learned that i need to keep my mind busy since the more I seat here the more I feel like a loser and the more i EAT...I go to the gym for 2hrs (gotta love watching Murry, since he is the only thing that keeps me on the machine)  I have been setting goals for myself. I just want to try to lose 30lbs a month for the next few months. I know it is not really possible but I rather just keep my mind moving instead of standing seal and not doing anything.

Today I go to the doctor to see about getting an revision...I know i know I know. I have used this tool and I just don't know what is going on with it...DID IT BREAK...I am not being funny, but I am eatting between 800-1200 cal a day, tried the liquid diet, still go to the gym and nothing is coming off. Some say up your calories so i do,....NOTHING...Some say lower...i do...NOTHING...some say start from the begining..i do...NOTHING...I even stopped eating and just did the protein shakes..I lost weight but then gaining it back when I started eatting again. It is so upseting to the point that i want to cry. So I am going to ask my doc for a revision. I have been reading on it for awhile and I know that it is my only hope. I am still chubby and I am happy with that, but I still want to lose just a little more. Shit my "window" isn't closed yet. I am only 13 months out.  I will just see what he says. I can not stress how bad I want this. I figure if I can't then I can't but I do not want to hear no today. Bad enough I only have how many days left of work...My company is finally closing the doors to this place and the truth is I am not mad, but I just want my insurance..I do not care about anything else. I need this doctor to tell me yes and that he can get me on the table before the end of dec...if not then I will be this size for the rest of my life wishing and hopingthat I can get down smaller. 

If you are reading this say a little preyer for me...I am to be at the doctors at 11:15 today...

Well I am almost a year out and I am already thinking revision.  I have stalled and I mean stalled.  I have lost a lot of weight but not enough. I just havent been able to move that damn scale for the past few months. I have lost inches but not pounds. I will say this. this is the best thing that has happen to me.

what can i say other then this is hard. I stacked off on going to the gym and started back in my old ways. I know how is the possible. Okay so if you really think about this there is not much you can eat without feeling like you are eatting or drinking the same shit everyday. So then you start to think okay let me add a chip, maybe even a cookie or even a craker once a week, then it becomes once a day and then it becomes part of the main things that you eat. then you are like oh shit...i fucked up. everything that i worked so hard for is just gone. So each day you have to look in the mirror and say today is going to be different and i will change. that is all i can say...each day is a day that i need to be happy for. I went from 460lbs down to 298 (last doc appt.) i went from a size 32 in pants to a size 22 some 20s just depends on brand. i feel good i get out a lot more, but the one thing that i am noticing is that being stuck in the house so long i do not know where to go or what to do. I feel lost at times, but it is funny getting out the house and finding new places to go. I just wish i knew if i have it in myself to make this work. I have made a goal to lose 25lbs for the next 3 months and work as hard as i can to make this work. I swear if i can get that done i can get anything done. I know unrealistic but its feels good to have a goals and to be able to bet it.

" walk slow and drink a lot of water and one day you will get it"~~unknown prison quote...

Well so much has changed in my life, but so much has stayed the same...

I am 7 months out.. I started this off at 460 and now I am as of my last weight in 298 that is 162 lbs down...I went from wearing a size 32 pants to now rocking 20 or 22. (depending on who makes them and if my legs dont look to fat)

The pros:   I am not longer the fatty in places. I can wear just about anything from regular stores. I can play with my son, seat in seat not having to wonder if my fat ass could fit before i sat down or how the hell am i going to get out of this seat. I feel free at times. I keep wondering why in the world did i wait so long. More like i have a new lease on life and new pattern and new scence of happiness.

The cons: I am not longer "me" at times. I am happy but then i wonder are the new people that come into my life really here because of who i am or what i look like now. I hate thinking that, but it is true. I will not going into so many details but an ex that dogged me the hell out, made me feel weak out of no where now wants a second chance because he sees me in a different lite now that i am smaller. If you really know me you know that i loved him and it took months and years to get over him. Well I told him no. other con. I can eat whatever i want. I still do not dump. Grrrrrr but i am taking that day by day. I now have to find inner strength to deal with not eating trash. I love salads but you know a cracker every now and then isnt bad, but i know that i will never reach what i am to reach if i cheat. So i have to keep my eye on the prize. oh and the whole leg fat..grrr no one talks about the saggy skin and the lose of boobs but i will be getting them fixed very very soon. I cant be rocking small boobs not cute not cute..lol

With everything you do there is work and there are greater rewards...I am just happy for everyone that is on here who is either starting or just taking it day by day. You have made my life a little easier and i love you all dearly. You are closer to me then most of my friends that i have had my entire life.

Tamika

I will post new pictures...soon as i get my home computer on act right...lol

I know that i havent been on here in a long time. Which is mainly because my computer broke around thanksgiving and not even that I couldnt remember my passcode. I have talked to most people I stay in contact with off the site so they all know how i am doing.

I still have yet to fully take the vitaims but i will start monday for sure. iknow i said it many of times before but this time I am going to make a bigger effort.  I still do not dump with really sucks because I dont feel sick off food I can eat and be okay. No bread or anything but if i wanted to i can eat chips or cookies, etc the same shit that got me fat in the first place. I know that i shouldnt but something is always saying just try it you never know. I do and i am hooked and that is the end of it. I still do the gym daily but as much as i want to say the weight is coming off it isnt. i went from wearing 32 pants 32 top "avenue" to wearing baggy 24 and 26 which is good for someone who had this done on Oct. 7 2008. I have to laugh I bought my car that same day but in 2002... I just realized that. I am really just trying to change my life. I do feel a lot different towards people but overall i am happy with myself. you know.

I go to the docs in april and i will keep you posted on what has been going on. I need to post new pic which i will do tomorrow.


Tamika

Well I am a little over 3 months but I just went to the doctors yesterday...

for starters...I am now 334...I started this at 460 and to be 334 is like wow. 




Problems:    I am still large.. I have hanging skin really bad on my inner legs and you know what else it bothers me when I seat.  She told me to get spanks which I dont plan on anytime soon.  I havent started my pills which she told me that I need to start ASAP...I don't dump.  I get sick off some food but I dont dump. 

What else what else... She told me that I am doing really well and that i have lost 20% of my bodies weight...yeah...

Goal:  To be down to 300 by 02/14/09...

I am down to 344 wow...


started at 460 and now 344

116lbs gone...

I have to go to the doctors on the 12th so lets just see what their scale says about my lbs but either way I am happy