lord give me strength to more forward

Jun 27, 2009

what can i say other then this is hard. I stacked off on going to the gym and started back in my old ways. I know how is the possible. Okay so if you really think about this there is not much you can eat without feeling like you are eatting or drinking the same shit everyday. So then you start to think okay let me add a chip, maybe even a cookie or even a craker once a week, then it becomes once a day and then it becomes part of the main things that you eat. then you are like oh shit...i fucked up. everything that i worked so hard for is just gone. So each day you have to look in the mirror and say today is going to be different and i will change. that is all i can say...each day is a day that i need to be happy for. I went from 460lbs down to 298 (last doc appt.) i went from a size 32 in pants to a size 22 some 20s just depends on brand. i feel good i get out a lot more, but the one thing that i am noticing is that being stuck in the house so long i do not know where to go or what to do. I feel lost at times, but it is funny getting out the house and finding new places to go. I just wish i knew if i have it in myself to make this work. I have made a goal to lose 25lbs for the next 3 months and work as hard as i can to make this work. I swear if i can get that done i can get anything done. I know unrealistic but its feels good to have a goals and to be able to bet it.

" walk slow and drink a lot of water and one day you will get it"~~unknown prison quote...

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