my journey thus far: (warning: ewwww)

Mar 02, 2009

Tues. February 24, 2009

So originally my surgery was scheduled for 1:30 on the 24th, but then it got pushed back to 2:30 and then it got pushed back to 3pm.

I had to be at the hospital on the 24th at 1pm. My surgery was scheduled for 3:00. I waited and waited and waited, and finally found out that they had pushed my surgery back AGAIN to 3:45. This was all very frustrating, because I went in there ready to go. I wasn't nervous or anything at all, i was just READY. but sitting there so long and wondering what the heck was going on was very frustrating. and had me agitated, and a little annoyed. My husband, my mom, my sister, and my step dad were all there with so that at least helped a bit. We had to wait so long that the hospital gave us a dvd player and seinfeld episodes to watch.

Finally, my surgeon came for me, and I remember nothing else until i was in my room the next day.

My family said that it was almost 6:00ish before I finally went in for surgery, and that I was not out until a little after 9pm.

Wed. Feb. 25th 2009
I think it was sometime in the middle of the night that I woke up severely uncomfortable because of the catheter they had put in me. I told the nurses that they needed to take it out of me now. They said they couldn't until I was able to get up and go to the bathroom on my own. I told them that was fine. i would find a way to get up and get there, but they wouldn't take it out. I told them that either they take it out themselves, or I rip it out, and that probably wouldn't end well because I have no idea how to remove a catheter. They calmed me down and promised that they would take it out around 6am. I reluctantly agreed. Somehow I woke up around 5:45 and called the nurse and she was like okay okay, and she took it out. This made me happy.

Anyway, I felt like shit, and was totally out of it. The morphine had me totally out of my mind. I couldn't focus my eyes on anything and was somewhat delirious.

Mid afternoon, they gave me the "happy button" where I controlled my morphine intake. I was focusing a bit better, and they told me I wasn't using it enough, so I started using it more often and again was unable to focus on anything, but was able to have conversations here and there with my family. I slept a lot.

They did however, have to send me for an upper GI to make sure that there are no leaks in my new system. This was one of the worst experiences of my LIFE.

Someone came to take me from my room. Where I was already quite groggy. They told my family I would be about 45 minutes. The guy wheeled me down to a hallway that was all empty and left me there in the middle of the hallway, with nobody around. I had no idea where I was, and I felt extremely nauseous. I started dry heaving, which hurt like hell. I had nothing in me to throw up, but my body desperately wanted to puke. A nurse walked by and i called out for help, I could barely talk. She walked in the office that was supposed to be helping me and said that someone was coming right out. I had been there about a half hour at this point. She brought me a cold washcloth and barf bucket and said that someone would be coming to help me soon. Next thing I know, someone comes up behind me and starts wheeling me away. I'm like: "um, where are you taking me?" and they tell me they are taking me back to my room.....but my procedure has not been done yet, i told them, and they were like oh? really? okay let me tell them inside. This happened THREE DIFFERENT TIMES in the 2 hours that I sat there waiting.

SO i finally am taken in for my upper GI. I have to drink this god awful contrast stuff and stand up so they can take xrays and make sure there are no leaks while I'm drinking it. (keep in mind I was already nauseous)

So I start to throw up because that contrast stuff, with me already feeling sick es NO BUENO. and then I start to cry, the morphine had me so completely off balance and guess what I did.....I PEEEEEEEEEED MYSELF! that's right. I said it. It happened. It sucked. I was so embarrased and shaking and crying I felt like an idiot. I had no control over my body though. It was the most horrible experience ever. The nurses were so incredibly great about it though. I can't even believe I'm telling you this, but hey, it's the truth, and I'm all about telling it like it is!

So, like 2 and a half hours later they brought me back to my room. WORST EXPERIENCE EVER....but...there were no leaks. so a little hooray for that.

In the afternoon some friends came to visit me, and I knew they were there, but was having a very hard time keeping my eyes open and focusing on them. It was so nice to know they were there though.

My family was absolutely amazing. My husband deserves some kind of medal of honor.

Anyway, I was hoping that they were not going to send me home today, because I could not imagine making it at home. They didn't even try. I stayed the night there again.

Late that night my husbands family came by and another friend stopped by. I was able to focus a little better at this point.


Thurs. Feb. 26, 2009

Today I discovered that my stomach looks like a punching bag. I would post a picture, but I'll spare you the gory details. I have bruises everywhere from the shots they gave me, and I have 4 small cuts and one a little larger on my left side. I was quite worried about the big one on my side, because it looks like someone punched in my stomack and left a dent and it stayed there. Very deformed looking. (hot, huh?) Imagine a car that just got into a fender bender and has a big dent in the metal...that's what it looks like. only there are stiches there. too. I mean its not going to stay like that, but basicially it is like that because they sewed my insides up. SEXAY!! lol.

When I saw this I freaked out and made the nurse come look at it. She said it was normal, so I guess I'll believe her...what other choice do I have.

The surgeon came and visited me and told me that I would be going home today. He looked at my stomach too and said it looked great (ha).

Anyway, I came home at about 5pm. They said I could leave at 2, but I wasn't ready. (I still wasn't ready at 5 either, but they pretty much made me leave then) I wanted one last shot of pain meds before I left.

Fri. February 27th 2009

I thought by now I would be bouncing up and down able to do everything on my own, etc. but boy was I wrong. Craig has to help me with EVERYTHING. He is so amazing. I am so lucky to have him. I mean this is LOVE. i pray he still loves me after this, because OH MY GOD. I am a nightmare.

Someone give this man a medal!

Anyway, basically I feel like I have been run over by a train. Many people say they feel like they have been hit by a car but I have actually been hit by a car...and it was not this bad...So i think this must be like a train.

Things are however, getting a little better each day. THANK GOD. Things aren't great. I can't see how I'm going to go back to work when I'm supposed to, but that's still a week away, so hopefully a lot changes by then.

Hope you enjoyed this gory post :)

Love you all and thank you so much for all of your prayers and love!

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