Wow what an emotional day!!

Apr 29, 2008

Well, I feel pretty good today, I got a very nice email from my Aunt (the one that I didn't tell until a week ago about the surgery cause she hates fat ppl) well I get and email from her....I swear as I reading I went back to make sure it was from her...it was a very nice email telling me how she is glad I finally told her and that she is so happy for me and that she went online and did some research on the sleeve so she could better understand everything I'm going through and she was acting so worried. Now it felt good it really did...why I feel like I need this women's approval I will NEVER KNOW it must be a thing with the names June both people in my life that have made me feel like an out cast in my family are named June. I'm just waiting for the other show to drop....is that bad?



Then my best friend of 24 years sends me a message telling me that she did a blog on Myspace....so I'm at my aunts house and I begin to read it....it was the most nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me...oh I'm crying again just thinking about it. I cried reading it...its not often that either of us talk about emotions that's just how we are...I guess after being around someone for some many years you don't need to talk about them you can just tell what's going on with them. It just really touched me to know how she really felt. She's my best friend but to me she's more like my sister. 



So I hit a mile stone....ya ready???? I bought....are ya ready for it.....? a men's EXTRA LARGE T-SHIRT from KMART.....and it FIT!!! ME!!! HOLY COW BATMAN!!!! I haven't owned ANYTHING that's an 1x wow I was super excited!!!  I wasn't even gonna try I on yet cause I was like there is NOOOO way that's gonna fit me and it did!


6 months out and now a year older :)

Apr 23, 2008

Well since I lost bloged I Had a birthday and now I am 26 years old. Let me tell you I hated that I was turning 26 because now I am no longer in my EARLY twenties I I'm now in my late twenties so I joked that I was gonna turn 21 lol. But in all honestly I have my arms wide open for this birthday and I am so glad that I did turn 26 because this time last year, I knew that I wasn't going to be here to see this 26th birthday because my health was bad I couldn't move or walk for more then 3 or 4 minutes at a time without having to sit down and when I laid down to go to sleep at night I had to have like 6 or 7 pillows so I could breath.  I just knew that if I didn't do something I wouldn't be here to see this birthday.  I was so scared that my mom would celebrate it without me. I am so blessed to have this weight loss surgery and to have this second chance in having a normal and healthy life.  

Well I am now 6 months out as of April 15th wow talk about a crazy and wild ride.... I have loved every minute of it. I am now down 160lbs. I went and seen my doctor for my 6 month check up on April 17th and he is very please where I am at right now. He said we are going to wait a little longer on the skins issues since its causing issues but not enough yet. I go back to see him on July 17th  for my 9 month check up.  

I'm having problems with my skin I swear I think all my fat is shifting in other areas lol. But I have found some really good body shapers for my lower half I use doctor Robert Rey instant body shapers and for my top half I'm using something I found at Kmart and they do work and hide the rolls on my back....now if I could only find something for my arms I would be all set lol. So far I'm not having any skin rashes per say (knock on wood).  

Well I went on vacation for my 26th birthday and I had a blast it was my mom and me and went to my favorite spot in the world. Port Clinton and Marbelhead Ohio, oooh its so pretty there and nice one day I will live there. For the last 10 years we go there and my favorite thing to do was to run around and rock climb, and for the 1st time in like 3 years I was able to do it again and oh man it was so much fun I can even begin to tell you. So while I was there I went and got  anew tattoo and it so rocks!! I will forever remember this trip every time I look at my new tattoo.  

Well, I told my self its been 6 months and I wanna have a drink for my birthday, I was nervous on how it was going to affect me, but I have half a wine cooler....now let me tell you, I was laid out flat on my hotel bed staring at the ceiling and laugh my ass off....for what reason...no one knows lmao I was SOOOO wasted off a half of a wine cooler good lord, I use to go out drink like 10 sex on beach, 3 slow screws, a few shots and a few beers and then I was like HEEEEEY, lol WOW what a difference haha. I don't know if I will be doing that again anytime soon lmao.

I am now 6 Months out!!

Apr 16, 2008

Well, I did it! I hit my 6 month mark yesterday  woo hoo. I am now down 150lbs since I started this. I'm down at least 4 shirt sizes (Depends what place I'm at), 6 jeans sizes, 2 1/2 shoe sizes (yes my feet shrunk lol), 5 1/2 ring sizes.  What a ride the last 6 months have been there have been a TON ups and some downs too but with the good sometimes come the bad but let me tell ya....its been worth every minute of it! I would have never thought I would be where I am at today. I still have a long way to go but I know that I will get there! I go in for my 6 month check up tomorrow at my doctors office. Although Dr. S has already seen me and we have talked about how much I have lost since the surgery. I am still a tad bit nervous. I had a certain weight that I wanted to be at by my 6 month and I didn't hit that mark but I'm close enough I'm 7lbs away from that number.    


When I first started this process it was because I was scared to death, that I wouldn't see my 26th birthday...I should say I knew that I wouldn't be here to see my 26th birthday at the rate I was going, I couldn't breath anymore. I just felt like I had to do something or that was gonna be it. Well my 26th birthday is in 4 days (April 20th) and even though I don't wanna turn 26 cause now I will be in my late twenties lol. I welcome it with open arms and then some because for the first time I can see further down the line, I can see that I WILL be around to see my 26, 27, 30, 35 and even 50th birthday. I cannot express to Dr. S how much that mans means to me and what he gave me. My mother gave me life and Dr. S let me keep it. 
  



I hope that your all doing great. I wish nothing but the best for you all. Thank you for everything. I added some new pictures today.

2 month update its long but worth it. Im now in TWOserville

Mar 31, 2008

Wow its been a while since I was last on here, I don't know what is going on with my account, on here I think that I need to get a new one and start all over but then I would have  to re-add everyone and that is gonna take sometime. I am hoping that all the kinks will work themselves out soon.  I hope that everyone is doing grrrreat and kicking butt along the way :)

  Well, where do I start so much has been going on. I added a few new pictures, I am now out a little over 5 and half months since surgery and I'm down a total of 146lbs!! All total WOW I feel great, I still have a long way to go but I'm gonna get there. I also hit another goal I am now in the 200's wooo hooo!!!! I cant even tell you when I remember seeing a 2 as the front number because I dont remember those days its so many years!!! The weather has been so crappy here I have slacked off the last couple of weeks but now that its getting some what better I started back up again with walking a mile. But I need to get my butt in gear and start working out more. I worked out during the weekend and I couldn't move after it...I swear Bob Harper was out to kill me!! Lol but that's ok I still love him haha. 

  I bought my first pair of jeans in a store (target) not made for just large sizes oooh man when I put them on, I cried because I haven't been able to do that since I was 12 or 13 years old and let me tell you it felt so good, I didn't wanna take them off haha. I was like here is the tag just scan that haha. If you would have told me there is where I would be now a year ago I would have just laughed at you and asked you what kinda of drugs you was on! Its so unreal at some points...I mean when I look at myself in the mirror I don't see a change, I still see me well the old me but when I look at my pictures that's when I see that big difference.  I'm sort of a pack rat so I have some really old clothes up stairs and I tired on a jacket that I haven't wore since middle school and I can wear it now but its kinda big lol. That was an awesome feeling!

  Well, as you know I am having some serious skin issues with all the left over skin, so I went and bought one of SPANX that I hear everyone talking about....Well I got it and it wasn't what I thought it was. But I liked it in some ways and other ways I didn't. Well, Amy from my support meeting told me about the Dr. Robert Rey Instant Body Shapers, well I didn't think they would have it my size and come to find out they did and I am in love with them I wear it every day it don't roll at all it gave me a flat tummy and I have NEVER had anything flat haha. I've lost a lot of my butt :( and it makes me look like  I moved out of that town (No-Ass-A-Tall) lmao. I just love them, I suggest that if you try to by them look on ebay 1st I got mine for 15.00 on there and in the stores they run about 40 bucks.

  I get upset at some point in times because I don't feel as though I am losing enough As of March 1 to March 31st I only lost  11 pounds in one month and I know that its great cause I'm still losing weight and I know I'm losing inches and its because I'm not exercising like I was at 1st. I understand that and I'm happy with my 11lbs weight loss its just I wanna wake up one morning and be at my goal cause I'm so excited. But that's when I have that little talk with myself and ask myself when have ever lost 146lbs in like 8 months (some was pre-surgery). Then I feel better. Its something that we have all done at one point in time. 

  I have found myself doing things, that I didn't do before I went to our mall and walked around for a few hours and I haven't been to our mall since I was like 16 because of the looks and stares I would get (granted it was early in the morning....baby steps I'm doing baby steps haha). Also I haven't been out to a restaurant in over 11 years and guess what...I'm going out for my birthday coming up, and I even told a lot of people that way I couldn't chicken out haha. I find myself going up and talking to people I don't know and joking around...now mind you I did that before but I was always scared to death but now I'm not lol.  I have been going to peoples birthday parties and my 1st is no longer how to hide my body when I get there like stand behind something or take the seat in the corner out pictures and now I don't...I feel some what comfortable out in the open where people can see me.

  I finally told my Aunt about the surgery the one that I said I wasn't going to tell...well I did, because I thought ya know what, I don't care what she says, this is one thing she cant Reunion for me! But the shocking thing was.......She was happy about it and happy for me, and was very concerned on how I was doing, was there any medical problems and she was worried about me taking such a big step and how it would effect me. I was shocked, and I don't think she was faking it either, I really do think that she was happy for me.

  I became an Auntie again on March 22nd so that's been great Mom, Dad, Big Sissy and Baby are doing fine she is so cute!! I have started making my scrap book for my weight loss but I haven't got very far cause once I sit down to do it I see how much I need to do and I change my mine to do something else lmao.

  Ahhh I have been on sugar kick the last week, I have been getting into choc candy and I took four bites of cake and I don't even like cake so I need to stop that NOW and get my butt back up on that wagon so yell at me if you want it will help me lol. Someone told me it sounds like I am lacking a vitamin and that's why I am craving sugar none stop. I finally found a vitamin that agrees with me and taste REALLY good its like a treat haha. Thanks to my wonderful friend Linda :) They are the Gummy Bear Vitamins.

  I got back for my 6 month check up in April I am excited to go there. My Doctor's office has started up another support group and its been awesome we have only had one meeting so far but we have two in April I am looking forward to. I have done the web site and forums for the support group so I am looking forward to seeing what they all think about it.

  WOW that's a long blog sorry haha its been over a month almost two so now you are up to date on everything. I hope all is well with you all (((Hugs))) Love you all and I wish nothing but the best of luck for you all and Thank you so much for all your friendships and the love and kind words you all are the best group of people anyone could ask for.

New week... New attitude!

Feb 07, 2008

Hey Everyone, well I know that my last blog wasn't so happy go lucky like it normally is . I wanna say THANK YOU to everyone that has sent me emails, cards, letters,  IM's and PM's and called me you have no idea what that meant to me, I have met some of the most nicest people on here and you all mean so much to me.



After I wrote that blog I felt a lot better, I guess I shouldn't bottle up things to the point I get to feeling that bad. I am getting along with my lexapro just fine.  I haven been feeling a lot better since the other day. A lot of things have changed.. Me and my boyfriend broke up but I'm ok....I'm surprised that I am ok. We  kepted having little tiff's over the weight loss surgery and how I have changed....Yeah I wanna do things now that I'm able to! So as of right now I am only worrying about me and I'm going to put me first for once.



Now that I got that little melt down out of the way its time for me to get back on track and that is what I have been doing. I am making myself get out of the house and go do things. I have went back to working out and boxing. I am no longer feeling hungry all the time anymore because I changed what I am eating! I was told to drop the rice cakes and I did and wow what a difference I am no longer hungry non stop. So thank you to everyone that stated they was a no no, no mater what my NUT said.


I have lost the 6lbs that I gained and a few more pounds so now I am down 122lbs (36 pre-op and 86 post-op) :)



I went to see my cardo doctor yesterday and he was very pleased in how I look and feel. I got to laughing at the nurse and both of my doctors because they couldn't figure out how to take out my information that I'm a diabetic and had HBP. Since I am no longer a diabetic or have high blood pressure. Everything there is nothing but computerized. They said they have never had to removed that kind of info from the files. 



But...the best part was when they called me back, normally when I would hear my name being called... I would sigh and think "Well, here go with them embarrassment when I tell them sorry you cant weigh me on your scale cause its not big enough"  Ohh how I would hate that feeling! I don't know why most doctor office still have scales that only go to 250lbs now days with obesity being so high. Any ways she called me back and I saw that it was a "newer" scale and I thought well I'm going to go ahead and try it and just see...well... I was finally weighed on a normal scale not a bariatric's for the 1st time in like 9 years. I was so happy!!

My 3 month check up!

Jan 17, 2008

Well today was my 3 month check up at Dr. S office, time seems to be flying by so fast but standing still at the time.... lol
I lost some more weight, I'm now at a total of 116lbs gone and gone for good!


I got to meet 2 people at his office from here, Dave (It was very nice meeting you, I'm very glad to hear that your doing good and you look great). Claire (It was nice to finally put a face with the name, I wish you nothing but the best of luck with your up in coming surgery your in great hands). I wish you both nothing but the best of luck and your gonna do great :)


So it was my time to go, back and everything went great. He said I was doing really good and I looked great too. He said that he wanted me start taking my vitamins (remember last time he said not to) So I joked with him about making up his mind. Lol But he wants me to take them because of my Iron count was good and in the right  range but he wanted it a little higher then what it was. He also said in about 6 months he is betting that I will need to have another surgery for (as I call it my 1st belly aka Spare tire lol) my stomach he said I will need two of them. I don't know if I will do that in 6 months or not I guess it will depend on how much skin is there sagging at that point in time but he said that by then I will be down another 90lbs (ahhhh that would be so great). But I already know that I'm gonna have to have plastic surgery done, I'm not gonna kid myself, I don't care how young I am lol. So I have been doing my home work on that already. So if its not sagging to much at that time I may end up passing until its really a problem. 


So the last week I have been slacking on my exercises and I have been hungry non stop! I swear if I didn't have this tool I would have gained a 100 pounds this week. I don't know what is going on. I just haven't felt good. I think its because I'm coming down with a cold thanks to our Ohio weather one minute its 3 then in the 70's plus I'm  just really tired. But that is no excuses I need to get my lazy butt back on that wagon!!! Ok people its time to yell at me! Lol


I made my goal!!! Plus...

Jan 12, 2008

So as you know. I have been setting little goals for myself. Well, as of last night I finally made my goal!!! I've lost the 75lbs I wanted to lose before I went and seen my doctor for my 3 month check up (I go this coming Thursday) I am so happy!! So as of now I have lost a total of 76.6 lbs since October 15th, 2007 I am so excited!


Plus.... I now weigh the same weight I did when I got my drivers license! I haven't weighed this much since I was 16 years old. I cant believe it! I am in such shock about it.


I have been working my butt of this last week. I have been doing 3 miles on the bike, 50 body by Jake crunches which I swear to god is not safe for me to do lmao I'm going to end up on my head one day but my mother gets a really good laugh at it haha. She's been my work out buddy. Plus I have been working out for an hour at night doing exercise or beating up my punching bag. I'm wore out! But after I get done working out I feel so much better! I feel like I could do anything I want too.


I must say this last week has kind of been an off week for me, I've been depressed again. I'm struggling with the thought of telling everyone that I had the weight loss surgery because only a hand full of people really know. But I'm scared to.....any other time I really don't care what other people think because I am me take it or leave it ya know? But this time I don't know. I guess its because all my life I have been judged and for once I don't wanna be judge but then on the other hand I don't care if they do because I would do it all over again because for every pound I'm losing I will be around that much longer. It would just hurt if I found out that someone close to me would say something bad about someone having the weight loss surgery because I feel so passionately about this surgery and what all it can bring to someone. Its got to the point that every single time I see someone in my family (the few that know) that's the 1st question I hear how much have you lost? I mean don't get me wrong I know they are asking because they really care about me but its like things have changed since I had my surgery, like people act different I dunno maybe I'm the one acting different and its all in my head. But we have went to a few family dinners and its weird I feel like when it comes time for dinner all eyes are on me. That makes me feel  very uncomfortable.  I guess maybe I don't wanna tell more people because of a few reasons one because I'm such a private person, two because I don't wanna be judged anymore and three because I can still be Kendra around them and I don't have the Kendra had a wls hanging over my head.  I have to make a choice soon because people are starting to notice and talk.  Thanks for the ear again ;)

A great way to start off 2008 Plus...BIG health changes

Jan 04, 2008

Ahh... where do I even start, so many things have changed since I last blogged which has only been like 2 weeks ago.


Well, as you know I set a goal for my self, I wanted to be at 65lbs weight loss (from the sleeve) on Christmas day. I went a head and weighed my self on Christmas eve and I was at 63. So I knew that I wasn't going to meet my goal but I was ok with that because I was so close and I was so grateful for what I had lost. So my Mom asked me on Christmas day and I told her I didn't make it but I'm still very please and she talked me into weighing in one more time. So I did...........I reached my goal!!!! Oh I was so happy! I was at 65.9lbs. I was happy that I made my goal and because that put me over 100lbs lost. I was at 101lbs lost within a few months.
I must say that, I did break down in the bathroom. I had so many emotions going through me. So after balling my eyes out for a few minutes I pulled my self together.


So at this current time, I have lost 106lbs total (36 pre and 70lbs post op). I got see my doctor on Jan 17th for my 3 month check up and I had set another goal to be at 75lbs weight loss before I went and seen him. So I am crossing my fingers that I can make it.


I have now dropped 5 pants sizes, 3 shirt sizes and 5 ring sizes. I got a new diamond ring for Christmas and let me tell you I have NEVER wore anything in a size 6. I went from a ring size 10-11 down to a size 6. I just cant get over that lol neither can my jeweler lol. I added new pictures you will have to go check them out. I can really see a difference in my body now. I can tell a big difference in my skin, and not for the better. I'm starting to have the saggy skin, so if anyone has any secrets PLEASE send them my way lol. I just all in all feel great. 


I can tell a difference in attitude towards life, I'm more willing to go out in public and going and doing things with all my wonderful friends. I have less fears of people seeing me, I mean they are still there and I have caught myself talking my self into going into a store in the parking lot sitting in my car because I don't wanna go in because people will see me. But I don't catch myself doing that too often. I'm now the one always wanting to go shopping and bugging others to go haha. Right now life....just seems to be going great. I know that 2008 Will be a great year for me. I can feel it!!


GOOD NEWS no I take that back GREAT NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I went in for my blood work that my WLS doctor asked for, and I wanted to talk to my family doctor about getting the Vitamin B-12 shot, because the last few days I have been so drained and falling a sleep in a moments notice. I was really starting to get scared because when the feeling hit, I was a sleep a minute later. I was out shopping and I was very far from home, I was like an hour away. I was standing in line and that feeling hit and I kid you not I fell asleep while I was standing up in line. I kid you not, never have I done that before, when I got out to my car there was no way I was gonna try and drive so I went to sleep in the car for a while. Since getting the shot that has NOT happened again thank god! That was so scary!


So anyway, I went and got my blood work done and everything came back great!! But the best part..... I AM NO LONGER A DIABETIC!!!!!!!! I NO LONGER HAVE HBP!!!!! I AM NO LONGER ON ANY MEDICATIONS!!!!!!!! (well, I still take one but that's for my RLS due to my accident).
My A1C went from 11 (very high) back in August, to 9 in October (after taking 4 different pills at the highest dose) and Now in December its 5.7 I am below avg. because it should be at 6.


Wow you talk about being shocked. But my family doctor was shocked too. I'm her 1st WLS patient so this is new to her as well and she has been so great in learning about it and taking extra time with me and following me. She is very curious in how the out come will be and is very pleased so far. I know she has another patient that is looking into a WLS, so I told her if I could help I would and I gave her all the info on this site to give out to people. I hope that helps them as much as you all have helped me. I can never say Thank You enough to everyone for being there and taking your time to help me out with everything and for all your encouraging words! I love you all so much!!


Im still trying to make my 65lb weight loss goal by christmas P

Dec 19, 2007

Well, since I was on here, I thought I would go ahead and do a blog, and let you all know what was going on.  So I weighed my self this past Monday and I am now down 56 pounds since the surgery and 92lbs all total woo hoo. 

I had set a goal to be down 65lbs on Christmas Day, well I'm 10lbs shy of that, I have my fingers crossed that I'm going to make it. If not I wont be too upset.  It wont be the 1st time, I had set a goal to be down 50lbs before my surgery and I only made it to 36lbs so at least this time I'm closer so I will be very happy.

I'm going to go work out here in a few minutes, I've been getting better at that, I worked out 45mins yesterday morning and wow I felt so good all day. So I plan on doing that again.

I finally broke down and went and got me some clothes that fit! Lol, Fashion Bug had that you buy one you got one free sale. So I went and bought some jeans and two shirts. I am now down 4 pants sizes wow  talk about being shocked! I haven't been in this size since I was like 16-18 years old!!!  I'm down shirt sizes too but it depends on what brand it is on how many sizes lol I found that out shopping. It felt really good! (Go look at my photos I added the pix of me in 1 of my new outfits.)

Now mind you I am so far away from being skinny, but is it strange that I can tell a difference, in how people treat me? I was at Ace hardware getting a gas tank and I am a friendly person you can come up to me and I will treat you like I've known you for years. But normally I would have to wait for people to help me they would never come up and ask is there something I can help you with, but they would people around me.  But while I was in Ace (for like 5 minutes max) I was asked 3 times and then while I was in line,  I had two guys just start talking to me like they knew me, now granted they was talking crap about my team lol we was all joking around. I couldn't help but walking out and feeling so much better because that was the 1st time, I had noticed that. So I started paying attention to how people was looking at me and if I was getting the eye contact and I am more people look me in the eye now. I don't know if its that more people are looking me in the eye or if its the fact I now have some more confidence in my self and I'm starting to look at them? Either way I like it.

I'm not really dealing with my inner demons to much anymore the food thing has passed and I'm now on the "graze" mode. So I'm being good so far, I go and drink water and if I do slip up then I'm eating fruits so I am still sorta being good ;)
But I am still dealing with spending cash. I caught myself doing it again, but this time everything I bought I'm giving to the homeless. I just feel so bad for them. I'm the type of person, Id give them everything I owned if I could. So I do this every year. I just enjoy helping people.


I wanna say THANK YOU!!!! To everyone that sent me a Christmas card that just made my day rushing to the mail box, I was like a little kid again ;) I hope we get to do that again soon!

Gotta go its work out time

Bad bad bad Kendra!

Dec 07, 2007

  Ugh I am so upset with myself.  I ate 3pc of Chocolate candy, 2 yesterday and one this morning. They was sitting there and they looked so good. Then my family opened the box. Its been sitting there in front of me for about 2 weeks and didn't bother me at all. But the moment that it was open.... I had to have one, then two and now today is 3. I fell off my wagon. So I went and  put the box downstairs. Now that's all I am craving. Why is it that when I eat something good for me like my fish, chicken,  I get really sick afterwards but I ate this bad stuff and it didn't bother me. I think I was hoping that it would so I wouldn't try it again....

Well, I'm at another stall again .....I'm staying at 47lbs and have been for the last two weeks.  I know its normal but I only weigh myself 1 time a week (every Monday) and when Monday hits I get so excited..... But not this week again. 

I haven't been exercising, I have been sooo busy with Christmas coming, Getting all the care packages ready for the Troops and sending them out, Plus I did 110 Christmas cards this year and now its snowing so I'm not out walking and I'm depressed, I just don't feel like doing anything and I don't wanna be bothered, ughhh I hate when I get like this, I am hoping that this goes away soon. Because now that I am depressed I'm hungry, but its bored em hungry. So I have been going and getting me some fruit water and drinking that.

As for meals, I have been eating a lot of cereal (well not a lot as amount wise). The last two days that's all I have ate and my stomach hasn't been upset. But I'm going to make myself eat some meat tonight for dinner. I just needed a break from getting sick.

I am really excited about Christmas coming up this year! Normally I'm not but for some reason I am this year. I wish it was hear already lol.  I'm still crossing my fingers that I will hit my goal of losing 65lbs by Christmas day. Cross your fingers for me lol.

About Me
OH
Location
39.0
BMI
VSG
Surgery
10/15/2007
Surgery Date
Apr 08, 2007
Member Since

Friends 121

Latest Blog 28
Wow what an emotional day!!
6 months out and now a year older :)
I am now 6 Months out!!
2 month update its long but worth it. Im now in TWOserville
New week... New attitude!
My 3 month check up!
I made my goal!!! Plus...
A great way to start off 2008 Plus...BIG health changes
Im still trying to make my 65lb weight loss goal by christmas P
Bad bad bad Kendra!

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