almost 3 weeks post-op

Oct 05, 2009

OK.   I hae not posted for a while.  Partially because I got slammed a few times and I was still reeling from the beating.  Also, I have found myself feeling a HUGE buyers remorse so far.   I have cut back my protien shakes from 3 to 1 per day.  I did this because I find them disgusting.   I tried putting them in milk... mixing them with sf syrups.... adding fruit.... adding spice... mixing them with juice.   Nothing seems to make them more palletable.  So, I figured... I can get my protien the way I am supposed to.... through real protien rich foods.  Ok.... well... I was pretty close to hitting my docs requirement of 60 grams per day.   I was getting nauseated every time I ate.  It has only gotten worse.

Drinking has become a challenge too.   I love milk, and was drinking a lot of it to help me hit my protien requirements.   I found myself having bowel issues... and not wanting to...well... not wanting to pass.   I hate water..... but was doing my best to get in at least 32 ounces per day.  Well when I cut back on the milk.... I did not  increase my water intake.   I am not dealing with dehydration.... but I still need to increase my fluids.     This weekend, I noticed how even drinking water made me sick too.  

It has gotten to the point that I dont want to eat or drink at all.   I am fine if I dont eat or drink... but as soon as something passes my lips..... I am sick.   Today I am trying to go back to basics.   I got up.... got to work.... I made a protien shake.... and have gotten down one ounce.   Of course... I was dry heaving in my trash can to do it... but I got it down and it is staying down. To chase the taste... I am chewing on a peice of turkey lunch meat.  Since the flavor is not very strong.... it is not helping much. I have a 23.7 ounce water sitting here next to me.   My goal is to have it down the hatch by 12.  Does not look like i am going to hit my goal though.  If I get it down by 2 I will be ok.  That still leaves me about 7 hours to get down another bottle.  

I guess the thing that I am confused about is my eating and drinking schedule.   You are not supposed to drink for 1 hour before eating... and one hour after eating... but you are supposed to have 5 small meals a day which should take you an hour each....... when do you have time to drink?  Does the protien shake count as a drink or a meal?  

Right now I am thinking...what in the world did I do to myself.  I hope it gets better.   Maybe if I was seeing a difference on the scale....I would feel better about this....but since the scale has not really moved in 12 days..... not really impressed.   I am really thinking I spent 2000 to lose 30 lbs.   sigh.

Besides this.... stress is really been crazy high levels lately.   My cat passed away last Thursday.   My dad is having surgery on Tuesday of next week.   Just about everyone else in my family is having some issues.  I have to remember that this too shall pass... but I would really like to look at God and ask him.... "Can you please have mercy and make this over soon?"

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