WLS Journey:Reflecting on Eating Disorders

Jul 06, 2009

As I have been reflecting over this past year of my WLS journey, I know that this has not only been about changing the outer me but the inner me as well. I have had to look within to realize what I was reflecting on the outside and why I had let my vessel God had blessed me with not be healthy. I had to search to make my inner vessel healthy as well. In doing so, I’m sharing below some common eating disorders that sabbatoge us from having a healthy vessel that God gave us. Only you can look within and be happy with yourself.

The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. We live in denial of what we do, even what we think. We do this because we're afraid.
RICHARD BACH


*Closet Eating*
The secretive nature of closet eating is what sets it apart from tasting and snacking. Closet eating is about not getting caught. It usually involves a larger quantity of food then you actually even want to eat and is carried out in such a creative manner as to eliminate the risk of being discovered. Discovery is then accompanied with lies and seclusion of unfound evidence... which causes to more seduction in the future.

The facade of closet eating is that you are in control, when in reality closet eaters despise themselves and are completely enslaved to food. Again, these are not feelings and attitudes of one who is free.

Solomon speaks of closet eating in chapters 9 and 20, speaking of Folly who tries to convince that "stolen water is sweet; food eaten in secret is delicious." Do you believe the lie that eating in secret adds flavor to the food and that it will be more satisfying? But would you ever eat three candy bars right in front of somebody, especially someone you love? Food that is eaten in secret is devoured so quickly to avoid discovery that the flavor is rarely enjoyed. Once the food passes into your stomach you realize you never really tasted it which leads to unsatisfaction of the original craving which leads to eating more. You now have to deal with a need that has failed to be met and the emotional turmoil which soon follows.

"Food gained by fraud tastes sweet to a man, but he ends up with a mouth full of gravel." Proverbs 20:17 (NIV) Closet eating produces nothing positive in your life, it makes promises of forbidden desire and leaves only feeling of shame and being out of control. Your loved ones feel betrayed and confused.

*Emotional Eating*
Emotional eating is not a type of eating disorder, but is common trait of those who have eating disorders - especially those who have binge eating disorder or night eating syndrome.
Emotional eating is the act of eating in response to an emotional trigger. When a person is depressed or sad because of an event and responds by overeating, or when a person is lonely and tries to fill an emotional void with food, the person is suffering from emotional eating.
Those who follow emotional eating patterns find it especially difficult to lose weight.
A study published in Obesity (October 2007), for example, found that those who practice emotional eating lost less weight in a behavioral weight loss program than those who did not have an emotional eating problem. The study also found that those with symptoms of emotional eating who succeed in losing weight are more likely to gain it back if they practice emotional eating.

*Emotional Eating To Manage Mood*
Emotional eating is an attempt to manage mood with food.
Serious emotional eaters obsess about food they rely on food to self-soothe. Those with emotional eating are typically distressed about their relationship with food, but don't know how to stop. Emotional eating is compulsive and the emotional eater feels unable to control eating.
Some degree of emotional eating is normal. Food is typically a focus on celebrations, such as birthdays and weddings, and at funerals. Emotional eating is only a problem when it becomes a person's central tactic for regulating mood.
Emotional eating is a coping strategy. When it results in imbalanced eating and regular overeating, an individual should take action to make behavioral changes. Emotional eating follows a continuum; if it is not stopped, it can lead to eating disorders, such as binge-eating disorder or night-eating syndrome.
When emotional eating leads to an eating disorder, co-occurring disorders, such as depression, are also common.

*Emotional Eating And Binge-Eating Disorder*
Binge eating is the most common eating disorder, affecting approximately two million Americans, according to statistics from the National Institute of Mental Health. Men account for about 40% of binge eaters.
Binge eating disorder, like emotional eating, is characterized by uncontrollable, excessive eating, followed by feelings of shame and guilt. Individuals with binge-eating disorder are often obese or overweight and are susceptible to health problems caused by being overweight, including high blood pressure, diabetes and high cholesterol.
Binge eaters have frequent episodes of binging, during which they lose control over their eating. A binge episode is typically also an emotional eating episode, as it is typically triggered by an attempt to manage mood.

*Emotional Eating and Night-Eating Syndrome*
Night-eating syndrome, which may also be an emotional eating response, is characterized by frequently waking at night and snacking. Individuals with night-eating syndrome often eat the majority of their daily food in the evening, and frequently eat little or nothing in the morning.
Night-eating syndrome affects an estimated 1.5% of women and men, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. The statistics are alarming, but the numbers may be even higher, as night-eating syndrome, like emotional eating, is often unrecognized and untreated. Individuals with night-eating syndrome are especially susceptible to depression, obesity, substance abuse, and other issues. Their productivity is often affected, as they are unable to maintain healthy sleeping and eating patterns, and they typically feel guilt, shame and a lack of control.


*From now on your attitude toward when and how you eat must and will be:*
Controlled: There is no need to hide what you eat or use food to control your mood
Confident: You are promoting health and restoration of your body
Honest: You know what, when and how much your body needs
Satisfying: When you eat, you will take the time to enjoy your food

There is no more need for deceptive acts.

Assignment:
Say the following out loud:
"I make thoughtful, confident decisions and choices for nourishing my body. I choose to be honest with my eating. These two things produce health, beauty, and satisfaction in my whole life."
1 comment

Meeting another goal

Jun 23, 2009

When we are all feeling frustrated, stuck, down and unsure about our little tool
called the band... remember. Nothing tastes as good as skinny (or being thinner
anyway) feels!!!

I am finally meeting a goal of wearing a bathing suit in public.

For a woman, that's a big deal! Not a swim dress, not with a tshirt over it! A
real two piece (okay not bikini don't get to excited for me!) bathing suit. In a
size 12-bottoms anyway. My "top" is bigger, **clear throat** this is dual
gender group. But that's only at a 14/16

I'm am beside myself!!! I'm off to Schlitterbahn with our Youth Group that we
mentor and yes I'm brave enough to wear it with those skinny minny young things!

So keep little things like this in mind, guys and girls, as we face our battles
and demons called food and emotions. Cause wow! what a feeling!

Reminds me I don't want to "find" what I've lost in pounds. But I love finding
the the new me-and so does my hubby!

Best Wishes to all
Michelle
247/160today band Aug 12, 2008
www.facebook.com/texanluvy
www.myspace.com/texanluvy
www.obesityhelp.com/member/texanluvy

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ReCap of my past 9 months

May 29, 2009

I've had a few people on my online boards asking how I've done so well in the past nine months so I thought I'd recap what I've been doing. So. First, we do all lose weight at different rates,etc. Any weight lose is gone forever and is a success. Do be proud of yourself.

Next are my little rules for myself.

Protein, Fiber and water water water!!! All three will fill you up, fill you up faster and stay full longer. Plus it's healthier! Fiber One products and Kashi/TLC products are very healthy.Wasa and Rye Crisp products in place of bread. Nuts-fiber and protien but watch the fat and sodium.  Pistachios and cashews are the best source! Cottage cheese is high protien and greek yogurt as your binder for tuna, etc. You can use Crystal light in water if you're not a big water drinker. I also use Biggest Loser Protien-vanilla and chocolate in my coffee in the am in place of creamer. Splenda with fiber is a great supplement. Eliminate as much white sugar and white flour as possible. If the first ingredient is white or processed flour and not Whole grain.. it's not good for you. Dark in color veggies are very high fiber. Careful with fruits and the sugars if you are diabetic but they are high fiber sources.

I have tried my best to follow the Bandster rules of eating, stopping eating, portion size, etc. found on smartbandsters yahoo group, lapband.com, Obesityhelp.com, etc all have those rules.

I read postings constantly. Smartbandsters I read Jesse Ahroni's recaps. She's a 10 year lapband pioneer and lapband nurse/tech who lost 100% of her weight, has kept it off. She pulls no punches and is very to the point. No whining or crying with her. She'll tell you exactly why you (the posters) are not losing weight or at a plateau, etc. No excuses with her. That's what I needed personally. My family gives me that support too. A year ago, I would have run to my room-with the cookies-- and cried. But now, I believe in and need that tough love. Do I really need that "treat"? My treat is losing the weight. Getting smaller clothes. Looking better, being healthier, living longer.

I have three magazines I read cover to cover OH magazine from obsesityhelp.com, WLS lifestyles, and SELF magazine. All have great articles. Plus I pick up and read (and watch) everything that pretains to weight lose, people losing weight, WLS that I can get my hands/eyes on. Biggest Loser anyone!! It's a motivator!! Gives me new work out and nutrition tips..... oh nutritiondata.com!!!

And lastly but also most importantly-deal with the emotions of eating. Why are you eating? Because it's "time"? Are you really truly hungry? Stress? Upset? Bored? Head Hunger? You "deserve" it? Write a blog, journal, call a friend, play an online game, do a sudoko, read a book, go for a jog, yoga, just breathe. Anything is better than stuffing our emotions. We all did something, had some excuse- or two or three or more- to get where we were at. Deal with those issues.

You are number one. Being healthy is your number priority. Some form of exercise is a top priority. Nutrition education is top priority. You are a beautiful person and deserve this. Your relationships, children, family and everything else will fall into place if you make all the others I mentioned your priority.

Make small goals. Make lifestyle changes one change at a time. To do it all at once is too overwhelming.  Life change is about attitude change.  You're not going to change your life until you change your attitude.

Good luck to you and to everyone.

Michelle Aug 12 08 247# Today 161#
Hoping to hit my 100# at my one year mark in August! So close!

www.myspace.com/texanluvy all my weight loss blogs
www.obesityhelp.com/member/texanluvy all my weight loss blogs
www.facebook.com Michelle Hart Howell
   
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There's No Crying IN Shopping!!

Apr 25, 2009

WLS:  Journey- There’s No Crying in Shopping!!

Okay.  So this happened a couple of weekends ago but I’m just getting around to sitting down and blogging about it. Like my oldest son tells me, I’m becoming a Social Butterfly. LOL!  I am down, let’s see 82.5ish pounds!  I am 6.5 pounds away from being in the “overweight” BMI.  Just plain Overweight, not Obese!  Wow.  11.5 pounds away from hitting my goal of 100 pounds—the century mark!  My overall goal is still another 30 to 40 pounds total to give me some wiggle room so to speak.  But, on to my story.

Since I’ve lost all this weight my closest  and dresser drawer have drastically emptied, as you can imagine.  I’ve emptied them out from my various ranges of sizes of clothes from the years.  My highest being a size --- 26.  I’ve really gotten to the point that all I really had left were T-shirts that were too big and stretchy pants that were too big.  Yes, too big work out leggings.   When I was in Alaska my son kept telling me he was going to send me on “What Not to Wear” for a make-over.  PLEASE!!  SEND ME!  I’d love get a make-over and new wardrobe! I have several functions to attend that I need dresses for, Easter was one- a wedding, a dinner reception, Confirmation, a Kenny Chesney concert-woot woot-just to name a few. I have literally nothing to wear.  How often girls, truly, do we get to say that.

So off on a shopping spree go my mom and I.  We spend the day shopping, hit up numerous stores. Both prepared to spend money.  Mom is ready to give me an early Birthday present of new clothes and everything.  Imagine my disappointment…I can’t find anything that fits right.  So disappointing.  We came home with a few items.  There was however, a bright light in this shopping trip—I can wear a size 14 pants!  I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I’ve done that!  But it really wasn’t what I expected when you lose 82.5 pounds!!

So, 2 days later, my very understanding hubby agrees to take me to the Mall.  So off we go.  Hitting every major department store in the mall.  After four hours, trying on, seriously 3 dozen dresses, I had a break down in JC Penny’s and again in Dillard’s.  I was in tears.  How can I lose this much weight and not find any dresses that fit me right!!??  My very patient hubby just stood there and let me have my breakdown.  The girls across the counter understood, were encouraging, supportive.  It was really---I don’t know. The pits!

Part of the problem is that I’m still two sizes bigger on “top” than on bottom.  But, alas, through the direction of the Dillard’s rep, I found a great store-Torrid- size 12 and up.  I sobbed my way into the store, my husband patiently walking behind me.  They were Awesome!  I felt like I hit the jackpot!  And yes!  I found my dresses!  Happy at last!

I still get that many clothes.  As I said, I still need to lose 30 to 40 more pounds and that’s a few more sizes.  But I’ve gone from a 26 to a 14 and am sooo close to losing almost 100 pounds!  It’s not been without struggle.  Easter candy and birthday cake is evil! And I paid for it but am back on track.

As always, Stay Healthy

Protein, Fiber, Fruits, Veggies, and Water, water, water

~~Michelle~~

My new favorite item:

Biggest Loser All natural Protein Powders- 6 grams Protein, 6 grams Fiber, 1 gram of sugar

I add a half a scoop of the Chocolate or Vanilla to my coffee in place of creamer/sugar to jump start my fibers/proteins each day.   Yummy!

Also available in Blueberry and Red Raspberry- mixes with water
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Been Awhile-Post from March 19, 09(myspace page)

Apr 25, 2009

So it has been awhile since I have blogged.  I have been pretty busy.  I have been a traveling grandma!  My second grandchild was born on Jan 26, almost a full month early.  A beautiful little girl: Sophia Elizabeth.  So I left, as scheduled, on Feb 15th to head to Alaska, yes Alaska, for a month.  I got to be grandma for a month to Sophia and Caleb, my grandson and it was wonderful!!!  I hit my 80 pound goal while I was there!

It was a bittersweet victory.  I left weighing about 174 pounds, right at 75 pound weight loss.  I knew when I got to Alaska I wanted to enjoy all the wonderful fresh seafood and fish from the area.  Take advantage of the healthy omega3 foods.  I did do that!  Oh! It was wonderful!  The salmon was yummy, king crab, snow crab that melted in your mouth, halibut, cod, tilapia, and ahi tuna.  It was amazing.  My downfall was that with the crab…melted butter.  Ooopps.  The rest of the fish I made with citrus and herb marinades.  But when we went out for the crab, I splurged with that melted butter. 

What I can say.  Except I was bad.

I did stick  with chicken too in between the fish.  But there weren’t all of choices when we were out and about during the day.  My son lives on base, Elmendorf Air Force Base.  So I blew it with fried chicken tenders.  At home I did cook boneless skinless chicken breast and lean pork.  So there again, half and half.

I took my yoga DVD with me with every intention of keeping
up with my yoga I love.  That went out the window.  Keeping up with an 18 month old and a new baby in the house, the 2 loads of laundry every day, cooking, cleaning, etc, I was exhausted.  My saving grace was they live in a 2 story Plus a basement so I was working those stairs constantly every single day, that and playing on the floor with Caleb.  He loved to sit on my legs while I bounced him.   Talk about burning
thighs.  My poor little Sophia is colicky so we did a lot of walking around with her too.

At night after the babies were settled, cookies, Doritos,
and BBQ chips called my name.  Here at home we have eliminated those temptations from the cupboards.  At my son’s house, it’s always around.   Oh, you know those days!! You know what I’m talking about!  I gave in.  First with “just a chip” here and there, then with more than “just a chip”, I lost it. The good thing is that I don’t eat an ENTIRE bag anymore. Or even a half a bag. HOW-ever!  Chips are still chips
and cookies are still cookies.

So.

I was hoping that I had at least maintained while I was gone
thoroughly enjoying my time with my Alaska family.  (There was no scale at my son’s house- good and bad thing)  Once I got home and got myself on the scale the next morning after my very long travel day, I was very happy that I had actually lost! And! I had lost enough to hit my next goal of 80 pounds!  167!  That's 5 pounds in spite of my mis-steps.  I am pleased, but I know it could have been more if I had not snacked and let the chips and cookies get to me.  But I’m going to focus on I lost!  I didn’t gain!  AND….

I wore “skinny jeans” home from Alaska!!  The look on my hubby’s face as I came through the passenger terminal in the airport seeing me in my new outfit my son helped me get, in my skinny jeans, was soooo worth it!   I felt like he was so proud to be looking at a “new” wife, not in baggy clothes, in a new body and ….  It was awesome!  Of course the fact that we had been apart for over a month, literally four times longer than we’d ever been apart since we’ve been together in 23 years may have had something to do with the look on his face!!!  

So, I’m home now, getting back on track with no junk food,
doing my yoga again, checking up on my blogs and keeping myself accountable.  I am excited about being so close to the 100 pound mark!  20 more pounds!  Next goal.  Amazing! I never thought it would be possible to hit the 100 pound loss mark.  Now it’s only 20 pounds away!  OMG!  It just hit me!  I have to work it, baby!

So, I’m signing off for now. 

Have a healthy weekend, healthy month. 

Think about your choices. 
Why are you eating? 
Are you really hungry? 
Are you being nourished body and soul by those cookies and
chips?

~~Michelle~~

....

Proverbs 17:22  
 A joyful heart is the health of the body, but a depressed spirit dries up the bones

www.lapband.com
www.nutritiondata.com

Self Magazine
OH magazine

www.obesityhelp.com/texanluvy
www.facebook.com      Michelle L Hart Howell
www.myspace.com/texanluvy
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New Year New Me

Jan 09, 2009

before+april+09+after+jan+09

It’s been almost 5 months since my surgery and a year since I started seeing the WLS doc, nutritionists, etc.  As of this morning’s scale, I have lost 67 pounds. 

I made it through the holidays without gaining and in fact lost.  I hit another goal of weighing less than my husband, finally, again.  Yeah! And, I really think I’m to the point where I don’t need to go in for anymore “fills” with the WLS doc anymore.  For right now anyway, I am at my sweet spot.  I’m got over my plateau and am losing effectively and consistently, still getting my protein in, but can still take all my meds without a problem.   I also am more than half way to my goal which now does not seem as daunting.  At least now I only have 45 to 50 pounds to go and not over 100 pounds. Yikes!

It’s been and will continue to be quite a journey.  I’ve learned a lot about nutrition, myself and my emotions.   Even now as we’ve brought these holidays to a close and my family is going through some trials I have learned that food was not my comfort.  It is a source of nutrition.

I have learned that since I have lost 67 pounds, my BMI is finally almost just “overweight” rather than “extremely obese”, “morbidly obese” or even “obese”.  As if being tagged obese isn’t bad enough, they have to add extra words in front of it.  

I have learned that even losing 67 pounds and having a BMI of exactly 34, I am still considered OBESE.  O-Bese and Fat should be dirty words.  Just the way O-Bese sounds when you say it is ugly.  And people are ugly about it. Not just behind your back; to your face.  It’s the one thing left in society that is not “protected” is not “PC” and people are very open and blunt about making rude comments, like it’s their business or okay to make jokes.  “Your Mama’s so fat she went to work in high heels and came home in flip flops”.  And every one laughs.  No matter how much weight I lose.  I will still cry on the inside at comments like that and worse.

I have learned that I much as I enjoyed and loved food, it did not and does not love me.  Food-fried food, sweet food, high calorie food, high carb processed food does not love my body even as much as my mouth or my mind may have loved it.  It made my body sick and unhealthy which in the end made my mind unhappy about me and thus a vicious circle.  I still enjoy cooking for loved ones, enjoying meals times and good food.  But in a different way now.  I cook healthy foods, in a healthy way, in healthy portions.  I SMELL the food as I cook, before I eat it when it’s on the plate before me.  I set the fork down between each bite and savor what I do have.  I savor the company that I am with of loved ones around me.

I have learned that food cannot substitute emotions.  Food is more like a toxic friend.  Like the commercial that is out right now of the hamburger/snack cakes outside in the yard begging to be let back in but the girl is now in love with the carrots instead.   Those goodies are so good at first but it’s so bad when that’s all you have, over and over again.   Even as I’ve had to deal with the stress of the holidays, my daughter’s surgery, my mother’s health, family finances and other issues I cannot bury these feelings and emotions with food any more than an addict can with drugs or alcohol.  

I have learned to put my trust in God more not in food as I have deal with issues at hand.  I need a healthy mind and body to help my family.  Food is not going to help that when it destroys my health.

I have learned I need to eat more slowly. Take small bites.  Chew Chew Chew.  Put the fork down between each bite and just savor.   I had a rough month of “sliming” and get stuck.  This was mostly due to my own fault of not taking small enough bites and not chewing well enough.  I don’t like feeling like a bulimic at meal time.  It’s very painful.

I have learned that protein is my friend.  Proteins first, veggies and fruits next.  Carbs will come in by default.  There are so many hidden carbs in our foods today.  You don’t have to “try” to get carbs.  If you read labels, you will be shocked at what and where you find carbs.  Also sodium.  Be careful with sodium.

I have learned that people make more comments to you when you’re heavy-“fat” than when you are actually losing the weight.   Society is interesting.  They do feel obligated to inform you of things when it’s none of their business.  But start losing a lot of weight and they just start looking at you all strange.   It’s really kind of odd.  Is this because they are not sure what to say now that they can’t insult you or is it out of our (my) own self awareness or need? 

I have learned that I still have a lot to learn and I’ve always known that.  I’ve always felt that life is ever changing, progress.  Each and every waking day is a new day to learn something new.  The day that you no longer have the desire to learn anything new and grow from those learning experiences and other people is the day you should be ready to die.  I’m not ready to die.  I have too much to live for.  After all, I have a new body to live in.

So live, learn, grow.   Have a wonderful New Year.

                -Great joy can be experience in living each day rather than dwelling on the past

-Ruth4:15


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From Saturday but... I met Two Goals in One WEEK!!

Oct 28, 2008

So I hit this goal on Saturday, per my teaser bulletin. But I'm just getting to posting by blog/journal entry about it.  I've been feeling a bit icky with my AS the past several days so it's slowed me down a bit.

But, Wow! Two goals in one week last week!  ONDerland and my first 50! It really helped that they were only 2 pounds apart from each other! Even so, last week was a great weight loss week for me.  This week, I have to be realistic and expect that things will balance out I might just maintain this week. But even to just lose one pound this week will be good and ideal.   I did have my 2nd fill on Oct 9th and my next fill won't bee until Nov 13th because my doc is on vacation for 2 weeks.  This is not a bad thing though because my weight lose has been good and steady.  I don't want to get over restricted either.  So I just might be at my sweet spot right now depending on how the next two weeks go.

Now, the new set of goals.  As you can see from the pictures, I have a goal outfit up there.  Of course, that IS NOT a public outfit.  I am not one of those silly 40 something year old women "trying" to run around in bootie shorts while everyone laughs behind her back.. literally!  No, that goal outfit is strictly for the RockABilly chick in me for my hubbie.  And not just to fit in it, but to look decent in it!

Another goal would be the 20 pounds.  That will be tougher really than the first 50.   Smaller goals now.  A step at a time.  So I'll be working on the next 20 pounds.

That will also put me to another new goal of....of this is distressing, but... being lighter than my husband!  I'm really tired of being heavier than my hubbie.  Right now we are almost the same.  So I may hit this new goal first of the new set. **releived sigh**

In the meantime, I continue to find clothes on a regular basis that don't fit.  I have a laundry basket over flowing of clothes that don't fit any more.  The largest size in there... 26/28..   I actually put on a pair of capris yesterday that were a 16/18!   that's a huge difference! 

Funny thing is about sizes, and girls you know Exactly what I mean.  You go to one store.  Find your "size"  The next store and that "size" is now too big,cool!, so now you have a second size.  Then you go to a third store and the "size" from the first store is now too small!, grrrr!, so now you have third size!  AND!! There's more.  Depending on the cut, style and which department you buy from... your size changes.  Clothing Sizes are just as fickle as digital scales. (previous blog)!  So don't drive ourselves crazy with sizes, scales, whatever. 

Just be healthy!

Have a Happy, Healthy Week.  Add more protein and fiber to your diets.


"For I will restore health to you and heal you of your wounds," says the Lord. (Jeremiah 30:17)


Resources:

www.lapband.com

http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/public/heart/obesity/lose_wt/tac_1200.htm

www.nutritiondata.com

http://www.nbc.com/The_Biggest_Loser/?__source=fb&sky=fb

http://www.webmd.com/diet/weight-loss-surgery/weight-loss-surgery-08/default.htm

Last week--But I hit Two Goals in One week!!!

Oct 28, 2008

So I hit this goal on Saturday, per my teaser bulletin. But I'm just getting to posting by blog/journal entry about it.  I've been feeling a bit icky with my AS the past several days so it's slowed me down a bit.

But, Wow! Two goals in one week last week!  ONDerland and my first 50! It really helped that they were only 2 pounds apart from each other! Even so, last week was a great weight loss week for me.  This week, I have to be realistic and expect that things will balance out I might just maintain this week. But even to just lose one pound this week will be good and ideal.   I did have my 2nd fill on Oct 9th and my next fill won't bee until Nov 13th because my doc is on vacation for 2 weeks.  This is not a bad thing though because my weight lose has been good and steady.  I don't want to get over restricted either.  So I just might be at my sweet spot right now depending on how the next two weeks go.

Now, the new set of goals.  As you can see from the pictures, I have a goal outfit up there.  Of course, that IS NOT a public outfit.  I am not one of those silly 40 something year old women "trying" to run around in bootie shorts while everyone laughs behind her back.. literally!  No, that goal outfit is strictly for the RockABilly chick in me for my hubbie.  And not just to fit in it, but to look decent in it!

Another goal would be the 20 pounds.  That will be tougher really than the first 50.   Smaller goals now.  A step at a time.  So I'll be working on the next 20 pounds.

That will also put me to another new goal of....of this is distressing, but... being lighter than my husband!  I'm really tired of being heavier than my hubbie.  Right now we are almost the same.  So I may hit this new goal first of the new set. **releived sigh**

In the meantime, I continue to find clothes on a regular basis that don't fit.  I have a laundry basket over flowing of clothes that don't fit any more.  The largest size in there... 26/28..   I actually put on a pair of capris yesterday that were a 16/18!   that's a huge difference! 

Funny thing is about sizes, and girls you know Exactly what I mean.  You go to one store.  Find your "size"  The next store and that "size" is now too big,cool!, so now you have a second size.  Then you go to a third store and the "size" from the first store is now too small!, grrrr!, so now you have third size!  AND!! There's more.  Depending on the cut, style and which department you buy from... your size changes.  Clothing Sizes are just as fickle as digital scales. (previous blog)!  So don't drive ourselves crazy with sizes, scales, whatever. 

Just be healthy!

Have a Happy, Healthy Week.  Add more protein and fiber to your diets.

"For I will restore health to you and heal you of your wounds," says the Lord. (Jeremiah 30:17)


Resources:

www.lapband.com

http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/public/heart/obesity/lose_wt/tac_1200.htm

www.nutritiondata.com

http://www.nbc.com/The_Biggest_Loser/?__source=fb&sky=fb

http://www.webmd.com/diet/weight-loss-surgery/weight-loss-surgery-08/default.htm

ONEderland

Oct 22, 2008

I hit ONDerland today. 199  I have not been here in 11 years.  I thought I would screaming and jumping when I hit this day.  But it's so surreal. Shocking. so many emotions. 

I should be estactic but instead by heart weighs heavy by other burdens of a troubled family member we are having to deal with who has lost their way.  In the past I would have "stuffed" my emotions through this but at least I have learned to deal with emotions in another way.  I am heavy with saddness for the family member that I am not able to help but is own their own destructive path and bulldozer pain and hurt to those who could offer love and support in the meantime. 

I know I can pray for peace to come in our hearts.  To help each and every one of us on our journey and path what ever we obstacles we are facing.  For now, I must continue on my journey, to keep my self healthy in body, mind and spirit. I have so much to live for.  A husband who loves and supports me and walks this path with me, beautiful grown children that are productive and supportive, grandchildren to cherish and spoil, other family members that have been amazing in my life, and friends that have been angels here on earth. 

I will continue on.

Two Months BandAversary

Oct 12, 2008

WLS

 

Two Month BandAversiry*

 

Wow.  Time flies. It’s been 2 months since my surgery.  I can’t believe I’m to this point and how things are going.

 

I had my second “fill”/adjustment on this past Thursday.  Which means my stomach was tightened a little bit more.  I had another 1 cc put in my band.  Dr. Fass is very liberal with his fills and has his patients come in every two to three weeks for adjustments until you hit the “sweet spot”.  This means not being able to eat bread- I got rid of my carb addiction a couple of months ago thank goodness- not being to eat breakfast and feeling full after only a cup or so of food, losing 1-2 pounds a weeks without over-eating but not throwing up your food either.  I figure I have been at about 1000 calories a day any way since surgery.  According to my weight, height and lifestyle I would require just over 2000 calories to sustain my weight.  Of course the goal is to lose so 1000 is good.  Plus this past week I started walking my dogs every morning.  My doggies love me!  They see the leash come out and are very excited.  This week we will increase the length of our walk and each week I’ll continue to do so as weather permits. 

 

The first fill I had I was a bit disappointed because I only lost 2 pounds in 3 weeks.  But this second fill I’ve lost 2 pounds in 4 days already and I really feel it this time.  Sometimes you only feel the restriction for one or two days if at all.  But I’m still feeling it. I may have hit my sweet spot early.  Many patients take several fills/adjustments before they hit the sweet spot.  On the other hand I may have my sweet spot for a couple of weeks or even months then need to go back after a time period after the stomach adjusts itself again.  I am only 2 months out.  The band can be a fickle being. 

 

But in the meantime.  I am sooo close to my first TWO Goals!!!  I am only 3 pounds away from my first goal of being in the ONEderland* and 5 pounds away from losing my first 50 pounds.  I’m excited and …. Speechless.  It’s very surreal.   I have not been in the ONEderland for a decade, ten years.  I find myself close to tears.  Those of you who have or do deal with weight issues know where I’m coming from and why it’s so emotional.

 

My husband has been so supportive.  He’s lost 30 pounds himself.  He’s got about 15 pounds to go for his goal.  We cheer lead each other.  Eat healthy together.  Go through this journey together.  Just as we have everything else in life.  

 

So as I enter into the next couple of months and on of my journey, a healthier life, a new me.  I do so with renewed spirit and my first set of goals blazing a light at the end of this first tunnel.

 

Thank you to my husband, children, mom, and all the others in my life that are so supportive and encouraging through this journey.

 

As always, Yours In Christ

~Michelle

 

That is why we are not discouraged. Though outwardly we are wearing out inwardly we are renewed day by day. (2 Corinthians 4:16)

 

*BandAversiry-the Date celebrating your surgery date

*ONEderland-Under 200 pounds, a number of your weight beginning with a 1** and not with a 2**

 

WLS Resources

www.nurtriondata.com

 

What does 200 calories look like--- a plate of broccoli vs. a class of soda plus more

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-does-200-calories-look-like.htm

 

What does a 300 calorie meal look like--- breakfast, lunch and dinner ideas

http://www.diet-blog.com/archives/2007/04/26/what_do_300_calorie_meals_look_like.php

 

Portion Distortion PowerPoint—How portions have changes over the past 20 years

http://hp2010.nhlbihin.net/oei_ss/menu.htm

 

 

www.lapband.com

 


About Me
Cedar Park, TX
Location
30.4
BMI
Surgery
08/12/2008
Surgery Date
Surgeon
Dec 04, 2007
Member Since

Friends 24

Latest Blog 23
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