FAT MAN CANT DUMP

May 12, 2009

fatmancant.jpg picture by kingjuicy


Maybe I'm a hybrid between Wesley and Woody.

I'm mean, I'm Black.  Sexy as all get out, and my booty looks good in a pair of Biker Shorts and Nikes (Sorry, I'm not wearing Reeboks or even worse...L.A. Gear)

Or like Woody, people see this Big, Out of shape man, but put me on a court, or gridiron (Football Field for those playing at home) and I will work wonders.

Today (May 12th) marks 2 weeks to the minute that I was rolled into my room after my WLS.   Besides the 6 surgical strips on my torso, and the full feeling I get from the smallest amount of substance, you can't tell me I had surgery.

Well maybe you can because my blood sugars has yet to rise above 150 since I've been home. I'm walking 2 miles a day, and I have yet to dump in any form. 

I've learned a lot from all the months I've spent here reading post, asking questions and I really feel all that has paid off.  I've been told I'm over doing it with the 2 miles so I've cut back and try to take it easy.  I have not tried to lift anything heavy. That's a bit hard because sometimes I do have to use the bathroom.

(You'll catch that on the way home  ) 

It's been a good 2 weeks overall.  I do have my "Side effects of WLS" as a fellow patient called it yesterday.  For me, it's with sleep.  The first few nights at home, I had to sleep sitting up because it wasn't all that comfy in my bed.  I can lay down now, but if I lay on either side of my body, I start to ache. I can lay on my stomach, but I don't like that feeling either.  Now that leaves sleeping on my back......NAW!  LOL

That and Protein.  I know for sure that I'm not getting mine in yet, but that will change. I'm in the process of trying to figure out what works best for me.

I'm on full liquids now. I could have moved on to pureed today, but I pushed my first week of liquids until Fridays. It's easier for me to remember to move to the next stage.

Right now, besides water...Applesauce, Yogurt, and Cream of Chicken Soup is my man diet...

SIDE NOTE: Cream of Chicken Soup is now called "Man Pudding" so good...

At my visit to my PCP, that was the first time since leaving the hospital that I stepped on a scale.  I lost 27 pounds in my first 10 days.  I was full of so much fluid in the hospital that I actually gained weight and balloned back to 400 lbs, but as of last Friday, I'm rocking a 373 lb frame. 

Word.

We'll see what the business is on Thursday when I see my surgeon.

So it's been a good look for me and I'm happy that everything went well in this journey.  They say now the fun part starts.  We'll see!!

Juice.  OUT

10 comments

I can't believe I died today.

Apr 27, 2009

Tombstone Generator @ jjchandler.com


I can't believe it.  38 years young.  All of his life ahead of him and he just vanished like that.

Every time something came to an end, he would always say "It was a good run".  When the Eagles lost to the Cards in the NFC Title game.....Good Run.  When the Sixers lose in the first rd of this years playoffs (don't worry, just wait)...good Run.

You can say his short 30 something years on earth was indeed a good run.  He was a good man.  Strong, Caring, the "Shirt off his back" kinda fella.  Always loved to joke and was quick to talk about the person in the pleather Lime Green Outfit.  Yeah, we're all gonna miss him.  He went out without any fanfare, no parade down the avenue.  He spent his last day at home...working on his passion....making sure his business is being handled after his departure.  He kept a mindfull eye to the very end. 

He took his last drink. One that would remind him of the 38 years he's spent mostly consuming the wrong things.  That last drink sent him back a ways.  The King confined to his throne. 

Boy did it sting too.

He spent some of his last hours communicating with loved ones, via text, email, thoughs, and the like.  Well wishers send words of wisdom and encouraged him as some of them has crossed over as well. He died so another can be born.

It will be the same man.  Reborn Relived Rededicated to himself and his well being of his inner and outer Temple. 

4-28-09

It begins

___________________________________________________________________________________

To everyone that's able to read this.  Thank you for your support.  I do not know how I would have got this far if it wasn't for all the knowledge and advice you guys have given me.  I have more friends now than I think I've ever had.  As a matter of fact, I think I have more friends that has something in common than not.  I've waited for a very long time for this day and I pray that the medical staff that will be in that OR with me tomorrow are having a restfull evening for they don't know who they are giving birth to.  I think this time if I'm smacked on my ass.  I may like that ish.

Peace be unto all of you.

See you on the flipside!

George "Da Juice" Hall
Human
12 comments

My Inner Antoine Fisher

Apr 08, 2009

Philly038.jpg picture by kingjuicy




yes, that's me rockin' the Rocky short, fist clinched and ready for war. Yo, I'm from Philly, wanna make sumthin up of it?


1971 Philadelphia Women's Medical, a child is born.  Born to a pair of young parents who had no clue on how to raise a child.  Too late I'm here and I'm happy for that Spring day that me parents were doing stuff they had no business doing.  Needless to say, I must have been getting my Michael Phelps on, or I would not even be here.

In West Philadelphia born and raised.....well raised until I was 4...then we loaded up the truck and move to Philly....North that is....Row Houses, Textile Factories....

My father was murdered right before my 2nd birthday. His mother and family remained in West Philly and again when I was 4 (02/14/1975) I moved to North Philly with my Mother and her parents and Aunt's and Uncles.

From 4 to 10 years old, I still kept in touch with my Father's family as my grandma on my Mother's side always took me over to spend weekends with my father's mother.  Over there I played with cousins that came over to see me. That was always a good thing.  Around that age, I already had plenty of friends where I lived and my visit to Grandma on the west side grew apart as I was always doing something else. 

Pretty soon, I wasn't going over there at all. Yeah I called and they called me, but a year went by and I didn't see none of them.  Stack on a couple more years and now I'm 17 and a freshman in College.  My life was so full and exciting, my father's family was never on my mind I hate to say.

Fast Forward, not it's 1992, I'm 21 and moved to Minnesota.  I had a dream about my father and thats when it hit me. "Wow, I have not seen nor talked to my Grandmother in 11 years. Shame on me, shame on both families for letting the link lapse.  I look her up and find out she's living in a nursing home in West Philly. We talke for hours and catch up on our lives. We update each other about other members of the families.  I still remember sitting in my living room that summer talking to her. I never occured to me how much I missed her.  But old habits live again. More years went by went by without us keeping our promise of keeping in touch.

A friend of mine who had access to some sensitive info did me a favor and found my Grandmother.  She didn't know how to tell me, but I forced it out of her. Grandma had passed.  So along with that sadness and quilt, I had no way now of finding the rest of my father's family.

Now it's 2006 and I start a quest to find my father's family so I can reunite with them.  I found a website that will tell you the names of people what lived at certain addresses....for a small fee or course.  Well I didn't have the address of the house she's owned for many years.  I called the one person who I credit with my smarts...My other Grandma (Mom's Mom).

****side note....my Mother passed in 2000, that's another story***********

I asked my grandma if she remembered the address of my other grandma. Without a blink, she recites the address as if she was just over there.  Later that night I pop it in this website and I get a TON of names. Some names I remember.  I even see my fathers name.  Most of them have numbers, but all of them were no longer in service. Well I'm getting closer so I'm excited because I'm on the right track.

I take all those names and go to another site and look up their names to see if I could find any valid phone numbers. Nothing.  Just on a whim, I put in a name that the other site gave me, but I didn't know this person. I looked them up anyway and got a number from Williamsport PA, no where near Philly.  Now outside of my Grandmother, my uncle Johnnie and Aunt Renee stood out. So I will drop their names if this number is valid.  I dial....

"Hello"
"Hello, I'm looking for Shane"
"This is Sha-Nay"
"Oh I'm sorry, well my name is George and I'm calling from Minnesota. I'm calling you because I'm looking for my family and your name and number came up during my search. Would you mind if I ask you a couple of questions?"
"No, not at all"
"Thanks, my first question is Do you have family in Philly?"
"yes"
"Do you know Renee and Johnnie Taylor?"
"Yes, that's my Aunt and Uncle"

BINGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Ok, what about Bertha Mortimer?"
"Yeah, that's my Aunt, but she passed some time ago"
"Ok, did you know she had a Son?"
"No"
"Well she did, and he passed in 1972, his name was Larry"
"Oh ok"
"And right now you're talking to Larry's son"
"Are you serious?, here give me your number, I have to make a phone call"

Shanay then calls her mother to verify everything I just said and I take it my story panned out because her mother started crying (as I was told). She then called Renee who told them to call me back in order to call Renee.

I emotionally dialed the number and Renee answered the screaming JESUS as she heard my voice. I cried too.  I found them. She talked about how no one knew where I was and how everyone missed me.  I missed them too, even if it was 25 years since I've seen them all.  We talked forever it seemed. Reminds me of the last talk I had with my grandmother. 

This time I made good on a promise and flew to Philly to meet my family that same year.  All my aunts and uncles knew I was coming and didn't tell my cousins.  Come to find out Renee know lives in that same house that my grandma lived in. It could have been as simple as just going to the house, but how did I know?

I landed, drove to Jersey to pick up my Gramda(Mom's mom) as she wanted to go with me.  We held hands the whole trip there. I pulled down the block and could see the kids playing and the grill smoke in the air among the trees.  An open parking spot was saved in front of the house...I pulled up with my stomach turning.  One of my uncles looked at me and allowed me to park. He looks right in my eyes, turned around and said "Yup, That's Him"

I got out the car and was mobbed.  My cousins didn't know what was going on. They all faced them and told them who I was.  One of my cousins who I remember as being so close with broke down in tears.  it was a crazy day. I've never been hugged and kissed, and cheeks grabbed so much in my life. It was great. That was one of my best days ever. We looked at pics, I played an old school game of rough house (21 to some of you).

Everytime I go to Philly, I make sure I see both sides of my family. I never at once felt so complete. 

Renee (whose pictured with me above on that fateful day) called me a week ago with a task. I guess I'm known to find people now.  The last time I was home, I attended the funeral of one of my uncles.  His only child was there, his daughter.  I say that because I never know he also had a son.  This time, they have not seen him since he was 4. She said his mother moved down south and they were never heard from again.

She gave me his son's name and wanted to know if I could find him.

It wasn't a common name, but my first stop for shyts and giggles was Facebook.

I entered a name and dayum, I got a hit. 

I sent this man a message and he thought it was a joke. We exchanged messages as I told him everything I knew.  He then told me he needed to ask his Mom a few questions.

Turns out it was indeed him.  Now it's his reunion time coming up.  We talk all the time and when he pulls up to the house this time, I will be the one sitting in the car with him.  Don't think we'll be holding hands, but you get the ideal.

Damn.  We are indeed family.

Thanks for listening.

Larry's Son aka Juice.
11 comments

Approval: Part DUH!!!

Feb 12, 2009



SEXY TIME!!!

It seems like yesterday when I attended the infomational metting at United Hospital for St. Paul Surgeons.  It was the Summer of last year and I went ahead with scheduling my first meeting with the Nurse.  I got my list (and I checked it twice.....gonna find out if I can ever eat rice)

(((Corny Line....Check)))

I did the Pysch Eval (don't know how I got past that), I did the weight documentation....hell I did everything on the list to see if I could get my procedure complete my years end.  Well that was at least the plan.

There was a couple snags along the way (Foot surgery, Alien Abduction)

So finally, I told all my paperwork was in order and it was faxed off.

3 Weeks later.."Mr. Hall, this is Blah Blah Blah from Such and Such and the Insurance Company said that they have everything they need......

EXCEPT...

They need you to see a Dietician to prepare you for your surgery. You have 45 days to complete this.

This was one of this requirements on that list I spoke on earlier.  So you mean to tell me that's all that is in the way?

That's comforting since I did that requirement in OCTOBER!!!

So now, it came down to contacting the Dietician that I met with back in OCT.  I gave her a call on a Monday.  Voicemail is a drag.  I called I swear once an hour.  Voicemail.

The Nurse who I've been in contact with at the surgeon's office (she's a Godsend) suggested I call Medical Records at the hospital to see if they could release the document stating I went through the appointment.  I even printed out their online form in case I had to fill it out and send it to them.  I got ahold of Medical Records.....

"I'm sorry Sir, but those records are kept with Nutritional Services, I'll connect you.."

"Hello....Nutritional Services this is ....enter some name here"

So I tell her what I need...

"Ok Sir, you would need to contact the Dietician's office for that document"

Great..the same lady I've been trying to call all day.  So now it's Tuesday and I get ahold of the Dietician's assistant (What does SHE do? Obviously don't answer the phone).  She said she can't find the form, but she will page the Dietician and have her call me.

You know I didn't beleive her. I gave her the "You're lying" look.  You know the one when you turn your head sideways and bunch up your lips to one side of your face.  Could be a hood thing.

Ok, now it's Wednsday....No call.  I'm not tripping yet because I was busy at work saving the world.  I FINALLY get a call on Thursday and she tells me she has the paper right in front of her and she will walk it up.....

Yes people, the Dietician's office and my Surgeon's office....are...you...ready?

...in the same Building!!

We update a few things and as promised, she walks it up and the nurse sends it off.  A week ago today I was told that I was approved, but they won't schedule a meeting with me and the surgeon until they actually get the approval letter.  I checked the mailbox like a kid on Christmas Eve just about all week.  Yesterday was no different. I normally don't look forward to mail because it means bills.  Well I got the letter and now I'm even happier than I was last week.

I'm even typing this before I call the Surgeon's office to let them know I have it...I'm sure they have it too, but has not called me yet.  You bet your arse I'm calling them first.

So there you have it folks... I'm official and all that good stuff.

Enjoy your weekend and don't eat the yellow snow.

The Juice
7 comments

An Open Letter to Obesity

Jan 13, 2009

vintage2.jpg picture by kingjuicy



Dear Obesity,

 You've been by my side for the better side of 30 years and for the most part I've had no problem keeping you around.  You were (well I thought) you were a friend, a wing to eat when times were rough, a cone to lick when the heat rose a degree.  I want to tell you why I can no longer use your friendship or support.

7 Pounds 7 Ounces. First Child, Grandchild, Great Grandchild of the family.  Born a mere 6 days after a young girls Sweet Sixteenth.  By that age, some girls get their own phone. Some get cars, but this one got me.  Smooth Brown Skin, Jet Black Curly Hair.  Big Brown Eyes.  Tall Slender Puerto Rican Dad, Short Thick Black Mom.  Who knew the make up of my genes could lead this way.  You knew all along huh?  Sure you did.

Growing up through the years, I was just like most 6-7 year olds. A ball of energy with his whole vibrant life ahead of him.  We've been together for so long, I bet you don't remember where we met. Actually I'm positive you do, but do you know when you let me know that you were with me?  Don't know?  Here I'll tell you.

My Grandfather signed my up to play Little League football in the Logan section of Philly. I was 10 years old. Because of my age, I had to play for the 110 lb team.  I never missed a practice as this serves as the beginning of a passion I still feed to this day.  Before we could get our uniforms before our first game, we had to get weighed in.

There I stand, 10 years old.  I never looked down, but Coach Jeff formally introduced me to you.

"160 Pound's!!!???"

Obesity - George

George - Obesity

Nice to meet you.  Not Really

After meeting you, I took all 160 pounds and walked home. I sat at the top of the stairs at home as my grandfather walked in the door and wanted to know why I didn't have a uniform. I had a 50 pound excuse for him.

With you by my side, I looked to you for comfort. You fed me well, but I still practiced with the team, but I could not play.  At 12 I got my act together and played on the 135 pound team. Yes I lost the weight, but it wasn't easy. You made sure of it.  I shedded your grip until I entered High School, but by then you pumped more food into me. Actually, I ALLOWED you to.  I ballooned to over 200 lbs, and I used it to my advantage in the sports realm.  I was overweight, but not Obese.  I guess Overweight is a cousin of yours. He's bad news as well.

I actually used you a little bit, will you and your cousin. It helped me get into a class university and a free education.

After College, you showed up at my door with open arms.  We've been buddies ever since.  Even when I continued my sports career, I pushed around Linebackers, Defensive Lineman, and you.  You really made sure you were by my side.  You were the Fat Ass Devil sitting on my shoulder.  When I thought to myself "Should I get that Bacon on it" you answered for me.  We were doing the dayum thing together.  The burned holes in my pants from my thighs rubbing together. You was loving that. The Countless fresh pair of sneakers I bought that quickly ended up on it's side because of my weight.

You and I quickly climbed up the obesity chart together. Hand in Chubby Hand.  I had no problem hanging out with you. We went to parties and watched other people dance while you and I posted up and held up the wall. We sat up and watched TV, eating boneless wings and Cream Soda.  Best Friends Forever. I was so happy with you. I hid behind nice clothes and and  great self esteem.  Just when we were exclusively together, you invited some friends.

George, let me introduce you to Diabetes, High Blood Pressure and my homie High Cholesterol.

Hey, how you guys doing?

Two's Company, 3's a Crowd..4's a dayum shame.  So here we are, the 4 of us living together...all needing something.

High Blood Pressure craved Salt and Pills.  M.C. Cholesterol demanded all types of food that I didn't need, oh and more medication.  Diabetes...man..he wanted my sight, my Foot, 6 shots a day and my circulation.

But you, Obesity...you wanted all of the above along with my will power.  I've done all the things that I was not suppose to do.  It was all my fault for letting you get the best of me.  I've worked out, dieted, and stop short of starving myself to shake myself of you. I've shed 75 pounds worth of you a few years ago, but like an abused spouse, I let you right back in.

Well guess what?  I got something for your azz.  I have a tool on the horizon that with hard work and discipline, will have you packing your bags.  It isn't a cure for you, but it will partner with my mind and latch on (just like you did).  Well your time is up potnah.  You got to go. Get the steppin' and don't let the door hitcha where the good lord splitcha.

Once I'm officially lifted the Obese label, I'm going to bury you.  Oh, and your cohorts will go with you.  Every Pill, Syringe and every drop of synthetic insulin is going with you.

There's also a group of people who is reading this that has also kicked you to the curb.  They are helping me learn more about you and how to deal with you. I'm sure you remember them all.  I found them and they are my new friends.  One more added to an Army of warriors that's causing you a slow death.

Well it's been fun. You don't have to go home....well...yes you do. Go Home Obesity and take all this deadly fat with you.

Sorry to see you go.  Yeah, I'm kidding.

Scared? Say you're scared.

Sugar and Fat Free Juice
18 comments

Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner

Oct 07, 2008



(No, this is not my Stomach.  I'm Darker and my Tattoo washed off already)

Minnesota isn't what you call a hot bed for good food. I mean unless you cook it yourself, or Momma'nem came up to visit, you don't really have too much of a choice when it comes to cuisine. Yeah, you have your chain spots like Chammps, Applebees and my favorite The Cheesecake Factory, but sometimes you need that one joint that stands above all others. A place where you frequent after the club, or you grab some just before the game(…a game that will be without T.O., but I digress). I'm a well traveled man. I started out my traveling sense when I played Football in college(shout out to UT). Then after college I still liked to see other places. With that, I like to hit some of the local spots for their regional Flava.

In Chicago, you can find me at Pee Wee's on 87th and Stony Island, best Gyros on Earth.

In Miami, catch up with me at dammit, I can't remember the name of this Cuban Joint……something "Cart" in Spanish. Dayum!

In Motown it's any Coney joint around Grand Ave, or on the East Side wit my peoples.

In H-Town, take me to Timmy Chan's where I could get 300 pounds of Fried Rice for like a buck. No, seriously.

In my hometown of Philly, you can find me at two places, Max's on Germantown and Erie, or Pagano's up on Ogontz Ave. Both places have the BOMB Cheesesteaks. They are responsible for 50% of my body weight.

Ok, there are tons of other places around the country that I like to hit, but I wanted to serve my point before I actually talk about the reason for this blog. Besides, you know by now once I start moving my fingers around, something magical is going to happen(typing that is…nasty).

Now in live in Minnesota, I think we all gathered that by now. I live right on the outskirts of what they call the "Twin Cites" which is made up of Minneapolis and it's smaller Twin Brother, St. Paul. These towns actually border each other and is separated by the mighty Mississippi River.

Ok, so here's some Trivia for all of you to stump someone with:

What state does the Mississippi River begin? That's right, Minnesota

What is the name of Minnesota Major League Baseball Team and why? Minnesota Twins, and you just read why about 50 words ago.

Anyway, they're always a rivalry between the cities that I really don't care about since I'm not from here. I lived on the MLPS side (Minneapolis) most of my time here, but I live and work on the St. Paul side now. The only good thing they had in common to me was both cities boasted a Popeye's Chicken franchise. Yup, only 2, but for Minnesota, I'll take it. I used to live walking distance from the MPLS location so I was in heaven.

I moved to the St. Paul side and thought I'd be home free still right?

WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

These bastids closed the St. Paul location.

Wonderful, just plain wonderful.

So if I ever get a Jones for some Popeye's, I have to drive 22.1 miles from my garage to the Drive Thru at Popeye's. That's 44.2 miles round trip.

My Hummer H3 only gets 20 MPG Highway, so that's just over 2 gallons of gas to burn, that's a $6 trip (gas is $3.10 where I go).

All for some dayum Chicken…….but the biscuit sho is good den a maafucka…..

So I'm a stickler for good customer service and I'm quick to tell a fucka about themselves if the service isn't up to par. I left many a server tipless for their service or lack there of. So let's take a trip to the Mpls Popeye's shall we?

Now this Popeye's is MADD GHETTO! Every employee there is Mexican, they have two managers at the same time working. One speaka Spanish and the other speaka da English, you know just in case one of  'us'  trip, and they give us plenty of reasons to trip..

Case in point…..(that's right Uh oh, I heard you! LOL)

So I pull up one day and get a 6 pc Strip Combo, complete with Fries, Rice and a Strawberry Soda (not Pop!) I wait until I get home to find a shocker!! These Mexican'ts forget my biscuit(that's a crime in Juiceville). I don't trip, not at all. So my best friend lives around the corner from Popeye's, so I tell him I can pick up some grub before I stop over. Cool, I grab a couple combos and jet. Now they forget his Dirty Rice and give us no napkins what so ever. You need a tree worth of napkins for all that grease they serve you, but it's good grease dammit. This time, I'm not playing. I go back to get the rice, some napkins and a hand full of those "Sporks", you know the spoon with the little teeth on them. I hate those things….

Now because it's their 2nd mishap with me, I go on their website and voice my complaint, I even give them the gas equation from above. Kanye West is not the only international Azzhole. So a few weeks later I get a letter of apology in the mail along with a couple for a free 2 pc meal. Great thanks. So I had to drive to Iowa last weekend, I know…don't ask….so I decide to redeem my free coupon on the way out of town. I actually go in the place this time. The Mexican chick takes my order. Before I say a word, I give her my coupon and just like clockwork, she can't read the white man's English, so she gives it to the Mexican Manager who I assume could read it. He does and tells her(in Spanish) to ring up a 2pc meal. She does and then I confuse the fuck out of her, not on purpose. I said:

"Ok, now I want to add a large Cajun Fry, and a large Dirty Rice" (important later)

She adds that to the order, now since I have a coupon, she has to zero out the 2 pc meal, she zero's out the whole order. I don't say a word. She comes back with the bag, calls my number and give my the food. I don't say a word. 2 minutes later, I'm doing 70 on interstate 35 heading south. I have a bag full of good smelling Popeye's without spending a dime. Life is good.

Now I'm in Cruise Control and I start with the fries, I kill them and reach for the Rice container….I reach for the Rice container……I can't seem to reach the Rice container, but I do feel a shit load of fries again.

She gave me 2 large fries.

That bytch will need to run for the border if she's smart


Though, we're never gonna survive......

Sep 25, 2008

unless, we get a little crazy. - Seal

I feel you on that man.

As I go through my journey for this fountain of weight loss, I constantly compare notes in the way other people get to where I'm going.  Mostly 100% (Why not 99% huh? Shut up, this is MY BLOG)..of the people I know or who have communicated with that had WLS all had different surgeons, clinics, INS companies and the like.  It's amazing to see so many different kinds of hoops people have to jump through in order to lay on that stainless steel slab and get the work over.



Right now, I'm in the middle of Shrink Mode.

Or what I mean is I'm required to see a SIKE-cologist before my WLS. Not only to I have to see one, but I have to go 4 friggin times.  They lucky, because I was going to snap out during my 5th session....oooh they lucky.

I have a friend in KC who said all she had to do was go see one for 30 minutes and it was a wrap.

Well come to find out, this is required by the STATE of MINNESOTA......right, the same folks that brought you Kirby Pucket, Spam, Purple Rain, and an NFL team that lost 4 Super Bowls. 

The first session went cool, but the 2nd one was a bytch.  I sat down to take a quick mental evaluation.

tick

tick

tick

tick

tick

tick

FIVE HUNDRED NINETY FIVE questions later, I emerge from the one person testing room. Fazed, but stable.  I mean for real people....595 questions?  They ran the gammit too, questions from me wanting to be a woman, to how much money in one sitting that I've stolen......

I have no clue, I'm still counting it.

There were a section where I could list things that would make me fly off the handle.  The following isn't what I wrote, but I wanted to.

Back in the day when paper food stamps were like gold....you could spend the one dollar ones without having to have to serial number book that went with....you know you had to have the book when spending a $5 bill or more.  Well dammit, I have a $10 Food Stamp, and I ain't got no dayum BOOK......Now, I'm going to ask again nicely.  I would like 3 packs of Now and Laters, a bag of Dipsy Dootles, a Black Cherry Soda, and 12 Chicken Wings......NOW!!!!!

I would love to say that's a true story.....

Hmmmmmm

Can you guys share some of the "crazy" things you have or had to go thru in order to get this ball rolling?

Holla atcha JUICE!

In the Beginning.....

Aug 18, 2008



In the Beginning.......

I was Fat.

(So what, you were too!)

Actually I'm still fat.  Sexy, but fat by popular opinion.

So let me bring you guys up to speed in all this WLS mumbo jumbo.

I've always considered WLS when it was in it's infantcy, but never really researched it enough to really benefit from it.  At the time I was around 300.  A sexy 300.   I was diagnosed with having Type II Diabetes about 5 years ago.  My Mother and Mother before her both had it, so I guess it's the gift that keeps on giving.  It has rapidly become worse thru the years and I've had to quit playing Football because of the various foot problems that have occured. My weight, plus my disease has caused me to have foot ulcers (in the same spot).  Come to find out, I have an infection in my Bone which caused the ulcers. 

We'll had surgery last week to remove that bone and now I'm wearing this stylish azz Boot to walk around on.  Also preventing me to work and drive. Well I can work from home, buy why right?  I got Oprah, the Olympics, and Maury Povich to keep me right! 

My Doc said I wasn't getting any better. I'd lose weight, then gain it back.  Right now I'm on See Saw medication.  I'm talking this one joint that makes me gain weight, plus another one that makes my lose weight.

I thought the same thing.

As of today, I tipped the scale at 395, but that boot I'm wearing added maybe 5 to 276 pounds to the total. Ha!  I don't feel like I'm 400 lbs. I feel more like my college playing weight of 275. I'm still able to run all day (and hit people), but I know this weight needs to come off, and fast.

So today was my 2nd Step in the before mentioned Mumbo Jumbo.  I already went to the infomation meeting (glad there wasn't a buffet up in there, it's was some biggums...including me...in the place to be), and today was my first visit to the clinic to speak with the nurse and the steps I need to do before my fat cells take a hike.  I filled out some paperwork. Went over what I have to do (schedule with the shrink, see the nutrition chick (Are there any male nutritionist?) and so fourth.

One part that got me was the whole "Before" picture they took today. I've seen hundreds if not thousands of before pictures and I can't front, people look so sad in them.  Is there like a BIG People Sears ot KMart Protrait Studio that take these pictures?

"Ok, stick that gut out, tilt those feet to the sides of your shoes, comb your hair out, put this ugly ass flowery dress on, pull those slacks up so your belt is across your chest, oh, now frown for the camera.......PERFECT"!!

*click*

So I took mine and I think I smiled, don't remember. I even turned to the side so they can get that profile pic of my streamline Lightbulb shape. 

So now it's official I guess. Once I make these appointments and get my INS company to sign off on this, it's only a matter of time.  I was told to lose 20 pounds. That's easy, I'll just take off the boot!

Quick Shout out to Sugar, Salt and High Frutose Corn Syrup.  I'm going to miss ya'll.

Sike!


Why God, Why Me, WHY NOW?

Aug 14, 2008

I know what you're thinking.

"Is he talking about his size, his weight, his card he's been delt"

WRONG!!!

In the midst of being a diabetic and I know....eating right, working out, BLAH BLAH BLAH. I felt good that I can live a little healthier once I got away from my home town of Philly.

78.9% of my Body mass consist of Cheesesteaks, Soft Pretzels and Tastykakes.  Sad fact, but true.  After college (Go VOLS), I moved to Minnesota and lets just say unless Big Momma lives with you, you can cancel any authentic food up here.  Even the fast food choices are bland at best.

That is until Minnesota got it's first Sonic Drive In.

Don't know whay Sonic is?  Ok, I'll fill you in.  Sonic is a south/midwest Drive in type eatery that has all the run of the mill stuff like Burgers and Shakes, but what sets them apart is the range of it's products. Like you can order a Sprite, but get extra apple flavoring put in it. 

note: I love everything apple flavored.

So I'm doing good, eating right. Sugars are in MADD control. About to have WLS soon, then the heavens opened up and dropped an effin SONIC right on my doorstep.   Not cool God. Not cool.

So because of it's shiny new spector, lines to get in this place have exceeded a 2 hour wait.  I don't care how good it is, I'm not waiting 2 hours for it.  This has been good in my plight to fight the urge to go.

Until the other day.  I drove by it and normally I trip on all the cars waiting to get in.  This time. No Cars...no line....... DAYUM!!!!

So I'm in the drive thru looking over the menu.  I bypassed all the food items and went right for a nice summertime treat.

"I'll have the small Watermelon Slushy with a splash of Apply flavor"

Sounds good huh?

Apple-Melon Slushy, created by me. It was dayum good too.

I got home and treated myself to a few extra units of Lantus (insulin for those keeping score), but to my glee, my blood sugar didn't go heywire.

So a couple days later, I got the Chocolate Creme Pie Shake.

I need to move to Montana I see.

About Me
Frozenville, MN
Location
49.7
BMI
RNY
Surgery
04/28/2009
Surgery Date
Aug 14, 2008
Member Since

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