I need to do this!!! Ah!! 13 Months!

Feb 11, 2009

So its been far far far tooo long! Big updates. 
*I'm over 13 months out.
*I weight 180lbs
*I just have 30 more lbs to goal
*I can eat EVERYTHING (not a good update)
*I need to seriously start toning haha
*Size 11 jeans in juniors what whatttttttt?!?!? Medium shirts?!?!? So this is what it feels like to go shopping?!?!

So this whole weight loss journey is unreal.  I am so happy. I've been so happy.  I have not for a single second regretted this decision.  Its so funny how everything has changed.  Peoples perspectives of you, you own perspective of yourself, confidence, everything.  I guess I'll start with my own perspective of myself.  Like a year and a 1/2 ago, I would not go out.  I was miserable, and my personality is not like that. I like the spotlight, but I was so embarrassed of myself.   Now, I will go whereever and do whatever and I feel GOOD!  I feel sexy... at times. haha.  I mean there are parts of me that I pick out and don't like still (tummy!!!!) but overall, I feel hot! Others perceptions of me....wow. its so different.  Like for instance, I was at the mall yesterday and walked into EVERY store and tried clothes on and no one looked at me like I shouldn't be there or I shouldnt be trying their clothes on.  I feel like people are alot nicer.... and as crappy as it sounds (on both ends) the situation is pretty great.... getting hit on doesn't feel like a joke anymore or being harrassed by chubby chasers.... I do have a problem tho sometimes when other people tell me I'm thin or beautiful, because even though I'm just beginning to see it myself, I don't believe them. haha. ITs weird, but I'm slowly learning to accept these things.  What can I say.... life is pretty great.

Things I'm struggling with: Getting these last 30lbs off!!!!! Like I said I can eat everything again, so now I need to be super conscious of what I put into my mouth.  Also, I have been drinking alot of the weekends, and that needs to stop ASAP. SO MANY CALORIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS geezzzzzzzzzzz..... I try to limit myself to only drinking one night a week and I pick drinks that are lowest in calories for myself.  (Miller 64 is actually pretty good!) I need to start food journaling again and STOP GRAZING.  these are my resolutions for feb.  I also neeed to get back to the gym.  I've been so lazy lately.  I can't fall back into bad habits.  I've come so far and I won't go back.  These size 11 jeans look too good.... hahah\

well hopefully everyone out there is doing great. sorry for my rambling.

Have a good day


well its been some time!!!

Aug 21, 2008

Why hellllooo there!! its been such a long time since i've posted. things are going really well here. I'm alittle over seven months out and if the scale was not lying to me today....i am exactly 100lbs down from my highest weight. holy shittttt!!! im so happy haha. i'm fitting into some mediums, mostly large and xls (xls if its juniors) and size 12/14 pants. i started wearing tight 20's 22's.... its nuts to think im like half my size.  i really do like the way i look sometimes.... sometimes though it s a struggle and i still see the same chunky girl in the mirror.  i still see the double chin and the tummy.... i dont know...i am in love with my legs though haha. they look muscular and starting to get toned and defined... same with the arms, sometimes though i think they loooooook sooooooo bigggggg. also sometimes i think i look completely different, something i think i look exactly the same and as much as it excites me to have people tell me how great im looking, its so awkward. i never know what to do or say except thank you haha. besides looks tho....i FEEL AWESOME! i feel like nothing is stopping me. i feel healthy and like im getting into shape. i enjoy the gym. WHAT?!?!? i never enjoyed the gym. it makes me feel good and i like that burn i get after it.  im gonna miss my leisurely gym days when school starts back up. the one thing that i'm going to be happy about when school starts again is the end of my bordom eating!!!! jjjeeeeeze. that is one habit that is so hard to break. even thogh i turn to much healthier options, boredom eating is still so bad. this summer i def. found out what it meant to GRAZE and i def surprised myself withhow much i can still consume while grazing haha. sooooooooo bad. I also became way strict again with counting calories and trying to get to 1200 a day and not going over! I needed to up my food intake bc for a month or so, i did not lose a single lb. turns out i was not eating enough. so i upped it and i strictly watched everything i put in my mouth during the week and let myself relax on the weekends and wow... the lbs came off.... i'm bac k in happy land land again and things are just going so well... as far as my health is concerned haha. boys and relationships are a completely different story. sorry if this is all rambly, i'm rocking out to my jobros cd and i'm not really concentrating on what i'm typing haha... yea so what that i'm almost 23, the jobros rock hahahaha....

hope everyone is doing wonderfully out thereeeee

wish i could play outside

May 27, 2008

Hi there! So it's been quite a while since i've last posted, but im 4 and 1/2 months out from surgery, down a whopping total of 86 pounds! i weigh 204. holy shit. 5lbs away from ONEDERLAND! i will scream when i jump on the scale and its under 200lbs.  hopefully by my 5 month mark, june 8th... i'll be down to 199... i only have 14 more pounds to lose until i lose 100lbs total.... 12 days... it probably wont happen, but definately i better lose those 4lbs...  anyways, what else is going on with me? I am definately gaining muscle, im so proud of my arms. i love them haha. i dont know, i just feel really great. with the exception that i am craving sweets like no other. i'm blaming my period for this. hopefully when its over i wont want it anymore.

anyways, i've been working 9-5 everyday and the weather has been so beautiful out and i;m stuck in doors.  i wish i could go outside and tan!! i'm so pale! i wanna play outside instead of working haha
i'm gonna go watch some tv, email my soldier, and probably go to bed.
love ya'll

I'm at Goal!!!.....

Apr 01, 2008

NOT haha happy april fools day. well im not near goal, but i'm 73lbs away hahah. and ill only be 3 months out next tuesday!! So as you can see everything is going quite well here. School is just kicking my ass. I cannot wait til may 16th so i can GRADUATE! thank god. as far as food goes, not gonna lie, i have been doing horrible with my protein. im gonna start using some powder again in my food bc i cant get it all in. I'm in that phases now where i rather not eat anything. I'm still taking my vitamins, however last week i definately missed some. i gotta get back on the ball here. doing well with liquids as usual. Got my butt into a size 16!!! wahooo havent seen that since my junior year of hs. no lie!! i would enjoy some boob shrinkage here, but that doesnt seem to be happening, its ok though. another thing i gotta do is go back to the gym. i have just been so busy. i know i know this are crappy excuses but i want to join the new excerthon. my totals are gonna be so sad looking bc i can't get to the gym until saturday morning. pathetic right? haha well im going back to do my stupid homework xoxo lauren ooo ps let me know what ya think of my new pics!!

hello -50!!

Feb 26, 2008

I am officially down 50lbs! how exciting. im doing so great with protein and i am back at the gym and i can not wait to go today!! today, not doing too hot with eating, but ill try to eat some more later. at the gym yesterday i did 30min cardio 30- leg curls 30- leg extensions 40- leg push back thingers 30-calf extensions and some more stuff that i just dont remember. i cant wait til i lose more!!!

crazy happy

Feb 10, 2008

officially one month out as of friday the 8th. 
42lbs lost.
25% of my excess body weight is gone.
i am fitting comfortably into size 18 when i was wearing 22.
my xl shirts are hanging. 
i fit back into my sorority jacket that i havent worn since i got in.
and the best thing. 
my labs came back and for the first time in a while, my blood pressure was normal without my meds, my blood sugar was normal, my tryglicerides (sp) were normal, my cholesterol was normal, i was NORMAL. im still obese, but its going to change. like favored said in a comment, when have i seen these results before? when have i been so happy. people tell me im glowing. i still hardly tell a difference, i know its changing but i see me everyday. i saw the nut and she said im eating just fiiine. which made me happy i just really need to boost up that protein bc im only getting on avg 30g a day when i should be a 60. gonna work for that. plus im allowed protein bars starting next friday anddd she gave me a recipe for turkey meatloaf that im dying to try, bc well, it will remind me of a decent dinner not just cheese haha. i am still hardcore craving veggies. like you wouldnt believe. uh my dad makes this BANGIN zucchini and tomato thing i  guess its like a ratitouille (or however you spell it) and its so good for you, ive been craving it for i would say a week now. and tonight was my sororities bid night. we gave out 11bids and all accepted and we went to the house for a lil party and there was shoprites chocolate chip cake. my all time fave. i told my roomie to order it and she did and you know what i watched everyone eat it and i was not jealous at all. i think it was the fact that i was wearing my sexy new jeans that were actually fitting and flattering instead of baggy and hanging off. man this weekend was unreal. im just so happy. time for bed. niiight

i feel like im eating alot. lol

Feb 06, 2008

so today i had
b-light and fit yogurt 
s- babybel light cheese
l-babybel light cheese
d- 4 shrimp
s-lf string cheese and *gasp*6 crackers!! 

i def need to cut back on the crackers and i need to def up my water intake bc i was soooo bad with that today. im trying so hard right now to finish a bottle of water, but im just so tired. and *warning TMI* i got my period ugh and i havent had a bm in like 5 days. tomorrow. goal. get 60 grams of protein in and lose some lbs!! ive been stuck at 250 (40lbs down) for like a week!! come scale lets move!!! tomorrow i have another goal. i dont want to eat AS much cheese. i feel like thats an awful lot haha

its superbowl. no pizza and no wings for me

Feb 03, 2008

so today was the first day i actually like "ate" alot. i had i had like a 1/8 of an omlette with lf laughing cow cheese and some turkey pepperoni. well i ate a piece of it and scrapped the cheese out haha and then i had some mashed potatoes and a bit of a turkey cutlet, a bite of pizza and a pudding cup . i guess my stomach is getting used to eating. i sometimes feel like whoa am i really eating thattt much. but then i think to what i used to eat and i laugh. like normally i prolly would have had like 2-3 slices of pizza and some wings and celery and blue cheese and so much other junk picky food for superbowl. and i ate no where near the amt of calories i would usually consume haha its just like wow. 
what new. im down 40lbs so woo. i fit back into my sorority jacket. im so happy. i know its such a lame thing to be proud of but its just awesome. haha

eh thats all. niiight

2 week + post op

Jan 24, 2008

sorry, its def been a while since i last posted on this thing... i've just been busy getting stuff ready to head back to school.  As far as the surgery is concerned, I've lost a total of 35lbs... or 31lbs since my last pre op appt on dec 31st.  i can't feel the difference or see one, but apparently other people can, esp in my face. i went back to school for the first time yesterday and everyone noticed and some people said i was glowing. haha. everyone said i looked good and happy, not like i just had surgery 2 weeks ago. ha 2 weeks and 2 days ago. CRAZY!! i feel so good, i get a little tired, but all my incisions are healed with the scabs all fallen off... except for 2 the big one (its scabbed over and the drain one...again, scabbed over) i think im still in the honey moon period, everything is still so new and exciting. i haven't gotten sick, i haven't felt bad, i still cant believe i did things to my insides that you're not really meant to do... haha, no regrets, just i cant believe i had this "major" surgery. i mean everything feels exactly the same except for the fact that i am not hungry. so weird. even in boredom, i dont want to eat. 

well that being said, today i start the soft solids part of my new life. I can't believe it, i haven't actually had something to "eat" or chew since new years day haha 24 days it makes me laugh. im excited tho because now i dont just have to depend on drinking that isopure crap. man, its been a struggle getting that crap down. but i do (except for yesterday). ive even turned it into icepops.. haha. i had like 5 spoonfuls of cream of wheat like way thinned down the other day and i felt that "full feeling" in my chest. ughh i felt heavy like just kinda gross. not doin that again. hah.

i think for my first "meal" today, i'm going to have some cottage cheese. i've been craving that since before the surgery. i really want some celery too, but i can't have that for a whilllllleeeeeee... oh well. i'll make do with the cottage cheese. ha.

thats all for now. ill update more laterrr

3 days post op!!

Jan 11, 2008

hooray!!i came home yesterday afternoon and boy oh boy does it feel good to be home. still pretty sore, esp on my left side. im about to take my first shower post op. still no bm (gross i know) lol still some gas pain but its slowly going away. can walk up and down steps but sleeping in the recliner downstairs bc its much easier to get in and out of.  had some protien water and some reg. water. not much, feels weir din my chest. super tired tho. so i'm gonna go now. just wanted to let ya'll know i was alive. thanks for all the support lately

About Me
Surgery Date
Oct 24, 2007
Member Since

Friends 81

Latest Blog 14
well its been some time!!!
wish i could play outside
I'm at Goal!!!.....
hello -50!!
crazy happy
i feel like im eating alot. lol
its superbowl. no pizza and no wings for me
2 week + post op
3 days post op!!