I have never been small, I am 5'11. I remember as a teenager I thought I was huge,a size 11,what I wouldnt give to be a size 11 now! After my first 2 kids who I delivered with no complications I struggled but got into a 16. My 3rd baby, an emergency C-section, followed by 2 back surgeries, I remember having a 8 pound baby and coming home from the hospital having gained 17 pounds from all the fluids. Boy was I mad I didnt even lose 8 pounds. It was downhill from there. The inactivity from the back surgeries, the steroid dose packs,my husband was deployed twice in support of operation iraqi freedom. It spiraled.I remember stressing out when I hit 200 pounds, next thing I know it was 250, then 300. I still didnt think in my mind I was "fat". I remember the first time I read a doctor's progress note,saw his description for me:31 year old morbidly obese white female. Boy did that piss me off. Made me so angry I drank my sorrows away in a chocolate milk shake on the way home. I was always the one behind the camera, taking pics of my three kids and husband,I avoided the camera in a big way. In Nov 2006 we joined my husband who had been in Kuwait for 16 months,all our family and friends back in the states wanted pictures. What an awesome cultural experience for my family. We have been to Germany, Kuwait, Bahrain,seen awesome things, awesome Kodak moments. Reality sank in for me when I finally saw myself in pictures. I guess I am kinda lucky, alot of people cant guess my weight and dont think I look like I am 300 pounds because I am tall it spreads out. Its amazing, the process here in Kuwait, took me 72 hours from the the first time i saw the doc to get insurance approval and a surgery date. It does make you feel good tho cause all the scales are in KG. I know it was , although it brief, but it was a ego booster to get on the scale and it said 133!!!!Its also been hard, hard due to the language barrier and they arent very proactive regarding presurgery education. Its difficult to have a support system, my family and friends are 7000 miles away and the time difference makes it difficult to talk on the phone. Its now 10:00 pm here and its 3:00 pm at Home. My immediate family is non-computer saavy,so many times I want to pick up the phone and call my mom,but I know she wont appreciate the 230 am wake up call !!! We are now on a countdown,under 60 days and then we head home,our time in Kuwait is done. My kids this next school year will be a high school freshman, a 5th grader and a kindergartener. I want them to be proud of me, I want my husband to be proud of me, but most importantly I want to look in the mirror and be proud of me !!!!

About Me
Location
34.6
BMI
Mar 17, 2007
Member Since

Friends 16

Latest Blog 4
Pictures
Update on weight......
Eye Opener
Day 3 of PreOp Liquid Diet

×