Oops, I did it again.

Nov 04, 2012

Monday morning, Day 20 of Optifast, and two days before surgery!  Just having my morning Optifast and reading OH.

A couple of hours ago, I was home alone at one of my parents' homes.  I was getting a bit hungry, so I wandered into the kitchen, and darned if there wasn't a big bag of tortilla chips there!  So I poured myself a big bowl of them and sat on the couch and started mindlessly eating them.

After eating about half the bowl, I realized - I'm three days away from surgery!  I can't do this!  Oh no, my dream about messing up Optifast is coming true!  Now there might be food in my stomach when they go in!  Damn, damn, damn!  How could I forget??  Should I try to vomit it up?  Should I take a laxative?  Should I just tell them I forgot and made a mistake and hope they don't cancel my surgery?  I was in a panic.

And then - I woke up.  Another one of those dreams!  And this one felt even more real than the last one, because I remembered the last dream IN THIS DREAM!  I was so relieved when the realization dawned on me as I was waking up that I didn't mess up after all.

I can't wait until surgery, if only to stop having these dumb dreams!

And now, a good Opti coping story while AWAKE.  On Saturday night I went to a fundraiser dinner and dance.  I went into more detail about it in this OH thread, so no point in typing it all out again.  But suffice it to say, I went, didn't (ch)eat, focused on dancing and conversation, and had a great time!  And it wasn't anywhere near as hard as I thought it would be - in fact, it wasn't hard at all.  The worry I was feeling beforehand was a lot worse than the reality.  I just planned ahead, drank an opti shake on the way there, brought some OXO powder in case I wanted it while others were eating, and it was pretty much a breeze.

I spent yesterday doing housework at intervals, and also making a birthday card to bring today for someone at work.  So I feel like I accomplished quite a bit.  The house really needed it - I've been in a housekeeping funk and I live with a packrat (to put it mildly), so if I don't keep up on it, then the place looks like a disaster.  Now it isn't quite so disastrous.

Today and tomorrow - training the person who will be temporarily replacing me at work, getting my will signed, going to the drug store to fill a prescription that I didn't get to yesterday, and that I need before surgery, and finishing cleaning the bathroom.  And probably a hundred other things that I can't remember right now.

I'll end by noting: after all these blog posts over the last three weeks, today was the first time I used the tag, "surgery".  Didn't even think of it before.  Not sure what that says about my mindset!

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