Here we go again!

Jan 03, 2009

Well it's a new year. I have a new parrot and a new hope to get weight loss surgery. I tried last year to lose weight on my own. I even met Richard Simmons as well as talked a couple times on his radio show. I lost 40 pounds and gained back that plus another 20! It's harder for me to breathe and just walking outside and back into the house I have to rest. My heart pounds when I walk from my bedroom to the bathroom, just a room away. My right leg swells up to double the size of the left leg. It's like dragging around a frozen turkey on my foot.
 

I'm on disability and medicare now and I live with my Mother because I ca not afford to live on my own. I rarely leave the house and order my groceries to be delivered because I can't walk through the store anymore. I am trying to quit smoking too (can't afford it anyway). I can't drive a car anymore. My Mom has to drive me to the doctor. So I'm trying to find a surgeon that is not too far away, because my Mother is 65 and driving long distances is hard for her. I don't know what medicare will cover and what bariatric surgery I can have. I feel really alone in life right now. My mom is afraid for my life, but worries that I wouldn't be happy with the food restriction of a surgery. I also am afraid of being thin. I have had this big girl identity for so long, it almost comforts me. I see a psychiatrist and a therapist now on the regular basis. I take meds for that and it's helped with some of my depression symptoms. I just feel stuck.

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