Tia P.

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Well, it has been 11 months since my surgeryand so far so good.  Most of the people in my life have been supportive and understanding.  I still have the occasional "friend"  that says I am way too thin and I look anorexic.  It is frustrating but I am trying to laugh it off.  one of those friends is one of those people who say fat people disgust them.  She was always real thin and when I was losing a couple months ago she was thrilled with my weight loss because she got all of my clothes that grew out of me lol.  Now that all of the clothes I give away are too small for her she and she has put on a bit of weight she is downing my progress.  Ugh...enough complaining for now.  I started this journey at 232lbs.  I am now at 122lbs with a BMI of 20.3.  I am doing my best to keep up with my protien and vitamins and I have been giving myself a b12 shot in th thigh.  though I have to say I am having a hard time getting nurished since I quit being a stay at home mom and started working.  I am also now a single mom so I stay pretty busy!  I am so grateful for losing this weight because if I was still heavy I dont know how I would have the energy to do everything.  I am very happy with my new life and my new mindset on food.  It has gotten so much easier these last few months.  The weight obviously isnt coming off like it was but I still lose a pound occasionally.  Hopefully that stops soon though.  I have a little loose skin in my tummy and I am down to an A cup from a D cup.  Thank God for padded bras!!  LMAO.  It was depressing at first but I now I cant help but think that Sacrificing my boobs for a better life is so worth it. 

Since I last posted I have manage to accomplish another amazing weight loss.  I feel and weight loss is better than none though.  So, it's all amazing to me. lol  I am, however, down another 12lbs.  Things are really starting to slow down.  I am really trying to avoid falling back into some old habits.  I want to succeed and stay thin forever so I know in my heart I can be faithful to the program.  I'm still going through many stressful things.  I still haven't gotten my divorce.  I did start the process today though.  I hired a lawyer and that lifted one weight on my shoulder but added to a financial one.  Blah  Oh well....at least I am getting some where.  I noticed the difference in my stress levels the minute I walked out of the lawyers office.  I was calm and happy and I felt accomplished.  It made me realize just how big of a factor stress is on weight gain.  I was starving when I went in there and all I could think about was a big fat burger and onion rings and when I walked out I was no longer starving just a bit hungry and I wanted a subway wrap instead of disgusting greasy food.  Oh what a feeling!  No major wow moments to boast.  I have been shopping in the juniors dept and a pair of pants nearly fell of my while grocery shopping....that was a little more embarrassing than "wow"  haha 

Oh, I just want to add one last thing for anyone out there reading this.  I have noticed a lot of people upset about people like me getting the surgery....people considered "light weights"  I'm not trying to be mean or rude but my personality is a "speak my mind, Stand up for myself" kind personality.  I just want to say to you all who are bothered by me getting the surgery at "only" 105lbs overweight that I have just as much right to get this surgery and make myself healthier as you people who waited too long.  I did not feel the need to wait until I was diabetic and had high blood pressure, heart disease, sleep apnea, GERD, and anything else related to severe obesity.  I wanted to avoid those major problems so that I could live to do this surgery and live to see my baby grow up.  I'm sorry if you are bothered or jealous by my eyes being opened earlier than yours may have been.  I did this for me and not you.  SO please quit whining about us that took the opportunity to keep from getting any worse and be happy that there are more people here trying to fight and stay on track just like you.  You are no better than I am.  I also researched and studied this surgery and went through all the pain, suffering, stalls, depressions, heart aches and challenges as everyone else did.  You have no right to judge me for bettering myself as I do to judge you for waiting so long that you got to that point where you were so heavy and sick.  Think about that before you shoot your mouth off.  Ok thats all...I think.  Good night all and good luck in your journey....no matter who you are or how heavy you were!!

OK well here are the stats

Surgery date::8.15.07
Start weight:::232lbs
Today:::::::::::::134lbs
Total loss::::::98lbs
Goal weight:::127lbs   7 lbs until I reach goal!!
BMI::::::::::::::::::22.3  WOW!!!!!

Well I am A week away from my 6 month surgiversary!  I am so thrilled and amazed at the changes  I have made and the new found control I have over my life.  I never thought I would be where I am today.  I have managed to lose a lot not just a lot of weight but also a lot of the bad in my life.  I know most of you are here to read the weight loss part but everyone should be aware of the struggles and challenges in everyday life that go along with it. 

There is so much good that comes along with this surgery.  For instance, I have so much more self confidence.  I love shopping now and I am not embarrassed to wear something form fitting.  I went to a girlie pajama party the other night and I actually bought a pretty red nighty.  (I have pics posted)  Thats the first sexy nighty I have worn in years!!!!!!
 
Other great things include; being able to completely wrap a towel around myself; walking for miles without having to puke or pass out; shopping in the juniors department; getting whistled at by teenage boys; being comfortable on an airplane; no more back pain; I take a lot more pride in my appearance; when I go to a buffet people stare because I only fill half of my plate not because I'm filling 2 plates and going back for more;  I know longer exceed my computer chairs weight limit.  There are so many others, I just don't have time to share right now if I want to finish he rest of my blog!  LOL

Along, with all of my great experiences I have had some bad too.  First and foremost I would have to say my divorce.  It was a bad situation that of course is for the best.  (I am now with an amazing man who loves and adores me....more good from the surgery....a story for another day though)  Anyway, my ex husband was a real ass.  He told me I disgusted him and I gained far too much weight.  He is now a recovering alcoholic but at the time was  a full blown physically, mentally, and verbally abusive man who cared only for himself.  I think all of that is explained in a previous post though.  Anyway, we separated prior to the surgery but I  still lived with him because I was having the surgery there in town.  The whole time I was recovering he told me that I was only leaving hm because I was going to be skinny again and he continued to make snide remarks about how I have no willpower.  He said I would never lose the weight and if I did some how manage it I would gain it all back.  He slowed my recovery down so much  It took  me  4-5  weeks before I could leave  the house  alone for long periods of time.  I was so depressed and miserable.  I left that house at 6 weeks along and have felt great ever since!! 

One other bad thing is the comments from some of my friends and family.  It does get old haring how I took the easy way out.  Oh, ad there is no explaining to them how not easy it has been and ow much of a challenge it will continue to be the rest of my life.  I try and brush it off and deal with it because I know how hard I am working and how successful I have been!

 If I had to do t all over again I wouldn't change a thing!  I have never been happier with my life than I am now and I have myself to thank!  I blamed myself for so many years for letting myself get like this and I now have no one but myself to thank for taking the steps in making my life better.  This is my time and my moment and I am going to enjoy it!  I will no longer let anyone get me down or make me feel bad for choosing a healthier lifestyle!  My health is my priority now!

So here are my stats

Surgery date::::::8.15.07
Starting weight:::232lbs
Todays weight::::146lbs
Total loss of::::::::86lbs IN 6 MONTHS!!!!!!
BMI:::::::::::::::::::::::24.3  I AM NORMAL!!!!!!!!!

Wow!  It's been 3 months since I updated this thing.  I've lost another 33 lbs since my last update.  I am at a wonderful 154lbs and I'm only 27lbs from  my goal weight.  I feel really good and I am enjoying my life a lot!

So I didn't hit my goal for this week.  I am at 186.  Only a 2 lb loss but its a hell of a lot better than nothing.  I'm shooting for 184 next week.  Fingers crossed ((((xx)))) 

Patience, patience.  I have been learning the value of patience with this experience.  Since 5 days ago I had another 5lb drop on the scale.   I am at 188 lbs.  I can't believe I am in the 180's.  That was my goal for this week and I achieved it.  For a grand total of 36 lbs lost post-op.  Yay for me!  I can already feel my energy coming back!  Only 50 lbs left until my personal goal.  Though the doctor is looking at 124. i feel that for me its a bit too thin.  I have always felt women need some meat on their bones to look healthy.  I guess I was born a little after my times because America doesn't seem to think that any more.  I just think that when you can see rib cages and hip bones it is a little sickening and I just want to shove a few cheeseburgers down some people's throats.  Oh well, too each their own right? 

Anyway....Next weeks goal 185 lbs. 

I had my surgery almost 6 weeks ago.  There has been a lot of ups and downs.  I hit a stall for about a week and a half which completely freaked me out.  Luckily I got on the scale a few days ago and finally lost a couple pounds.  I am down 31 lbs and I can feel it.  I'm finally under the 200 mark and sitting at a tolerable 193.  I was so frustrated when I hit that stall but now that i'm past it and done pouting I am so grateful for such an amazing loss.  31 lbs is nothing to pout about. 

I wasn't always fat.  It's actually a new thing for me.  When I started gaining weight about 5 years ago I refused to throw out my skinny clothes.  Finally about 2 years ago I did it after my husband, my friends and my family gave me so much grief for keeping them.  I would always tell them I would fit into them again someday and they would always laugh and say just have a garage sale.  Or, "we've all said that and it never happened"  I did manage to salvage some of the clothes I kept when I was at the weight I am now and I am grateful I did because constantly having to buy new clothes is a pain.  I recently fit into a couple  pairs of pants I have been holding on to for a while now and it was the best feeling. 

Though right now its hard to relish in my new found glory.  I am going through a divorce and still living with the man I'm divorcing isn't the most supportive atmosphere.  Trying to enjoy these moments in life and living with someone you thought loved you isn't easy.  I know I will find my way to happiness in a couple of weeks when I am finally able to move out and back to my home town.  It will be nice to have a support system again instead of living with an abusive alcoholic.  At least I know this is a whole new start for me.  I will have a new me, a new life, a new job,  and a new home.  I have never been so happy about the way things are going.