1 Year Anniversary, how should I feel??

Feb 18, 2011

Today is my 1 year surgiversary.  I remember this day like it was yesterday.  Up early @ 5am.  Arriving at the hospital @ 9am surrounded by my mom, grandmother and sister. Excited, not scared or nervous - wanting to get this thing over with (hated the waiting time between checking in and prepping for surgery).  I walked in to Memorial Hospital that morning weighing 308lbs. not knowing what to expect....

Fast forward 1 year exactly and I'm 172lbs (down 136). I lost a person.  I woke up this morning and felt like something was missing.  Why wasn't I excited for where I've started to where I am now?  It's not that I'm sad or disappointed that I'm not where I'd expected to be at 1 year out or that gone is the firmness of my breasts, thighs arms and stomach.  I just don't feel anything. 

My mother called me this morning, excited and practically singing into the phone about how "proud she is to have me as a daughter" and that I've done an amazing job, look good and every other affirmation that you can think of.  And when she asked me how do I feel, I couldn't give an answer because there wasn't one that would fit.


No Longer Clinically Obese!!

Dec 23, 2010

I've been upgraded, LOL!! I am moderately overweight (and still fat) but,  I am no longer considered to be medically obese - Woohoo!!  I'll be 1 year out very soon and I am looking forward to see where I will be at that point.

OneDerLand - Finally!!

Nov 01, 2010

I'm beginning to see the  light @ the end of the tunnel.....


Century Club and I couldn't be happier!

Next stop - OnderLand, who's coming along??

101 LBs Gone but can't quite get under 200 - Argh!!!

Sep 16, 2010

So yesterday I weighed myself and realized that I've lost 101 LBS (took me 7 months)!!!! I was over the moon!!!   How quickly that feeling disappeared because I am now back to "stressing" over not being under 200! You've all heard it before so I won't bitch and moan too much but it sucks that I set these personal goals for myself and I can't hit the targets that I've put in place.

My emotions are up and down (as usual)/  I need to get this under control and just be happy that I've come this far.  I made a promise to myself that I won't get back on the scale until October 1st, hoping this will be therapeutic for me.


3 Month Update - losing weight but feeling yucky!!

May 18, 2010

It's been awhile since I've blogged.  So, 3 months to the day and here's where I am in my progress.  I've lost 55 lbs, which is great but I still feel like I'm 300 lbs, ugh!  I don't know what I expected to look like but it is what is...  I had blood work done a month ago and my labs were not the best so I've been put on some prescribed supplements, hopefully when I go back in July I will have better news.  Lately, I've been feeling like crap! My hormones are out of control! I been on my period for months and as of late its been very, very bad!  My mood has been awful and I don't have the strength to get out of bed let alone exercise.  My appetite has all but disappeared which I've been told are some of the side effects of the medication I'd taken. 

I just hope to feel like myself sooner rather than later.  Hopefully, in another 3 months I will be back to normal!


I Am Out of the 300s!!

Mar 01, 2010

I'm am no longer 300+ lbs!! This is unreal, my first milestone - Yay!!!   I had my surgery on 2/18 and weighed 308lbs going in.  Today, I am proud to say I am 287 lbs..I feel great and best of all, I am on to stage 2 of my post diet which now includes nonfat milk!! I am a huge milk drinker (soy milk) and have been craving it since I've been home!!!  In addition, I can have other soft foods...No more Jell-O, I can't stand it  and I was unable to tolerate broth!  If any one has any suggestions on other "soft, pureed" foods, please let me know!



I've been approved and I have a date!

Jan 31, 2010

I Did It!!! This has been a long 8 months with many challenges but in the end, I succeeded with my first goal which was to be approved for surgery and given a date! February 18th will be my awakening!!   I found out the same day, my paperwork was submitted - within in 2 hours baby!!!  This happened on January 20th!!! It took all this time for it to sink in, but now I am like whoa - this is really happening!  I am so anxious!  I'm already trying to determine what I need for my hospital stay!!! So much work to be done!! Any suggestions???

As always, you guys are great and I am super excited to share this with you all! 

Super Hugs,


I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel...

Jan 16, 2010

So, I reached out to my HR rep @ work and explained my dilemma and asked if there was any I can change my health plan even though I missed the open enrollment!   I dreaded the fact that I would have to go through the process of finding an "in-network" provider as I've completed everything single test, appt etc... And I am happy to say that she came through for me!! THANK U!!!! (shout out to Hilda, u are the BEST - )  Excitedly, I called the Patient Coordinator and without taking a breath, gave her my new policy info and she said she contact BCBS and will let me know, if its a go!! OH Family - PRAY FOR ME!!!  I hope my next entry will be "You're Approved"!!!

On another note, I want to thank all of you for your kind words and encouraging me not to give up!  You all are the best! You truly understand what I'm going through and even when I get the least amount of  support from my family, I can always count on my OH Family to lift my spirits!



Disappointing News for 2010.. =(

Jan 10, 2010

What I thought would be a new start to 2010 is turning into anything but.. My patient coordinator submitted my paperwork to my insurance company on 1/6 and gave them a call.  What she was told is that although my insurance company (BCBS) covers WLS, I have an in-network plan (EPO) and the surgeon is out-of network.  When she told me this over the phone I was stunned!  When I started this process back in early May and had chosen my doctor, I provided my insurance information and she didn't mention this at that time!  I just missed the opportunity on 12/31 to change my plan with Open Enrollment on my job!! Seriously!!!???

All she could offer was for me to find a in-network surgeon and she would forward my paperwork, she said my insurance company can help with this but when I called them they weren't very helpful. I feel like I am in a stand still and extremely depressed.  I contacted my HR rep on Friday and told her my situation, she said she will see what she can do.. I don't know if I should be optimistic or not, I seem to have this cloud following me and I thought for sure it would disappear for the new year..

I told my mother and she had the nerve to say that this is a sign that  I shouldn't undergo WLS .. Gee, thanks for the support mom!  I am defeated and don't know what to do.  I've come so far only to be knocked down.  Even if things don't work out with HR, how would I find an in-network doctor that would be willing to take me on with all my tests completed with another physician.  Maybe I should be hopeful but I just can't believe this has happened.  

Well, I've shed all the tears now what?