Tiffani
What has lead me to this point? Well, I will tell you. Some of what you will read might seem like a sob story but I am in no way trying to get sympathy. I will tell you my story and how it lead me to consider bariatric surgery and hope that maybe it can help someone with a similar situation.
Here goes! I am the daughter of a man that left the day I was born. I did not meet him until I was 16 and never heard from him again. Then when I was 6 or 7 I was molested by a relative. That's about the time I started gaining weight. Then in my teens I trimmed down to about a size 6. After high school I met and married a man that was very abusive mentally and physically. My weight went up to 250 pounds, I think I was wearing about a size 26 then.
Well, got enough of THAT marriage and moved back home with my parents. Down went the weight again and then I met another guy. He was in the military and all into being fit. Well, while he was in Kuwait, I gained my weight back. He would constantly make comments about my weight. Things like "man, look how big your thighs are" or "if you'd just lose that gut and butt you'd be gorgeous"! I took it though because I was "in love" or so I thought. We dated for 3 years then I found out that he was cheating on me, got the girl pregnant and married her. Again, I moved back home lost the weight and found yet another guy, he cheated, that ended. Found another guy and so on..... All of those men were mooches! I allowed them to suck me dry both emotionally and financially. I just kept meeting and falling for the same type of guy.
Finally, 5 years ago, I found and met my husband. He's wonderful, he says that he would love me no matter how big I got. But, I don't want him to have to you know? So, I heard about the bariatric surgery and began to look into it. My surgery is April 2nd and I am elated!!! No longer will I be the fat one, the "heavy set" girl, or the one that can't wear the stylish clothes. Oh I tried to wear those clothes, they just didn't look quite right with the fat rolls! Low rise jeans? Forget it!
I have shrunken down my life into this small space but to me it has been gigantic! No pun intended. The emotional toll that being overweight takes on a human being....well, it's a wonder that I still have some sanity left! I'm sick and tired of feeling inadequate. Most of my family and friends are thin or at least thin enough to pass the society standards. I want to get out on the dance floor with my friends, wear a bikini, wear a color besides black or white ( I know I'm wearing hot pink in my profile pic but trust me, I have black pants on. Very slimming you know) I just want to feel normal!
Anyway, that's most of my story in a nutshell. If anyone reading this can relate, please feel free to contact me. I would be very happy to talk!
Tiffani
