Ruthie K.
Lost
Oct 14, 2012
Today was difficult. At 6:30 this morning I woke up to a sad phone call from my Mom. My Grandmother has passed. :'( I am heart broken and lost, I am over 600 miles away. I can't afford the trip, and her funeral is the day before my pre-op appointments. I know that if I put the appointment off they will most likely push the surgery date off too. Because I can't afford the trip and with the appointment the 18th I am starting to feel selfish and sad because I feel like I am putting myself before her.I remember the day we left Missouri to chance what then seemed like a wonderful dream. It was Jan 3 2012. We were moving to Florida for my fiance' to take a great paying job, and a better life for out children. (but that was all a lie someone told us, but I will get into that some other time)
But I walked over to tell her bye and that I loved her. MY Grandma is always hard as stone and nothing really gets to her. We hugged, and she told me to watch my blood sugar and take tak care of myself. As I was letting her go she as crying, not just a few tears but a river. I felt so bad, I almost didn't leave. I think she knew that it was going to be the last time we were going to see each other...:( Just a few months later she had fallen several times and had several mini strokes in one day. She was never able to fully recover from them, she was put in a nursing home in hopes to get her life back some how. The family didn't want it but Dr's felt my Grandfather wouldn't be able to care for her at home.
My mother called yesterday morning to tell me she was struggling to breath on her own and that they felt she wasn't going to make it thru the night. She did though, she had to prove them all wrong one last time! Her small fragile body just couldn't handle anymore pain anymore.
I did speak to my grandfather this afternoon, he seemed to be in good spirits and told me he had been preparing himself for a while now. I am so worried about him. They have been married since June 5th 1956, that is a very long time to spend with someone. Now he's left here to carry on the rest of his years without her beside him. They have not been apart for many years, since my grandfather retired from the air force in 1976 (the year I was born). I have no memories of them ever being apart.
Now with my surgery a few weeks away, and my Grandmother's passing I can't help to think that I will never be able to show her how much weight I will be loosing after surgery. I wanted her to be proud of me for once, and happy that I was her Granddaughter......:'(
1 Comment
About Me
TN
Location
45.2
BMI
Surgery
11/05/2012
Surgery Date
Oct 06, 2012
Member Since
