It's been a YEAR?????

Apr 13, 2009

WOW!  It's just amazing how quickly this year has flown by!  Last year at this time, I had finished my bowel prep and was saying goodbye/good night to the kiddos and making all the last minute preparations!  I STILL can't believe it's been a year already!

What a difference a year can make!   Yeah, I've had a few ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade where I am today for ANYTHING!!!!!!   I can deal with the occasional low blood sugar and the ulcers flaring up every once in a while in trade for being about 140 pounds lighter and being HEALTHY!  Thank you GOD!  Thank you Dr Loggins!  Without this tool, I fo sho would NOT be where I am today!

Yup........I have tons of loose skin hanging off of me!  My arms, belly, and thighs are the worst!  BUT, I can  do SO many things that I could NOT do a year ago!  I can get on the trampoline with the kiddos and not worry about hitting the ground!  I can sit in a chair at a patient's house and not worry about breaking it because of my size!  I can cross my legs!  I can buy clothes off the clearance racks at almost ANY store!  It's just amazing to me!  

Yeah.......I STILL have some issues to work through!  My mind still thinks of me being over 200 pounds!  I see myself in the mirror and in my mind's eye as that fat chick that I have been ALL my life!  When people call me skinny.......I just DON'T see it!  I can't see myself as thin!  I NEVER imagined that I could weigh under 120......and now I do (most days, haha!)   I'll figure out the mental part of all this one day!!!

I'll try to take some measurements tomorrow just to see where I'm at, but just for comparisons sake:  
Pre-op pants size: 24-26           now:  4 or 5, depending on the cut
          shirt/top size: 24-26      now:  small or medium, 6-8, depending on the cut, again
          dress size: 26, usually      now: 6-8, depending on the style
It's just amazing to me!!!!!   I still hold up my pants when I'm folding them and imagine that they belong to one of the kids because I sure don't see MY butt fitting into them!!!

Pretty much, LIFE IS GOOD!   I've had some personal issues that I've had to work through recently, but I think I'm doing better now.  Life happens, you know?   I guess I'm just not as tolerant to some of the crap that I used to deal with.  It doesn't have as much to do with surgery as it has to do with...........LIFE!  

I go for my 1 year check up on Thursday 4/16/09.  It should be interesting.  I do have a few questions for the doc and nut, such as stuff about this maintenance crap!  ha!  My body's metabolism must be really messed up!  I've found that I can eat about 1000-1100 calories and pretty much maintain my weight stable, as long as I exercise.  BUT, if I go above 1200-1300 and miss a day or two of exercise, I can gain 2-3 pounds overnight!  I know some of it is fluid, but dang!  It really sucks to see that much of a change with only a couple hundred calories added!  Like I said, I think all that yo-yo dieting for years has just messed my body up really bad!  So, I'll discuss this with doc and nut and see what insights they have for me.   I think maintaining is harder than losing at this point!  I'm sure it will get easier, but right now, it's an adjustment!   I think it also plays with your mind because you really get used to seeing that scale number going down and then it............STOPS!  You don't have that positive reinforcement anymore.  So, I have to dig a little deeper and remember all that I've learned so I can stick to the rules and keep on going where I need to go!  This stuff is HARD to do!   I had posted this in my signature, but then removed it because I didn't want to piss anyone off but:  Anyone who thinks losing weight is hard hasn't tried maintaining yet!  Sounds kinda mean, but I think you'll understand once you get to maintenance!   I think that's where I'm at right now!  

On a side note: DH really pissed me off this weekend.........(excuse my French).....he called me anorexic!!!  "All skin and bones!"   I set him straight.........!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I DO eat!!!!!!!  I eat A LOT at times!   AND........I GOT some muscle under this loose skin!  So there......take that!!!!!!!   I think I'm healthy........I'm just not what he's used to anymore!

Anyways..........thanks again to all my buds here on OH and IRL..........I couldn't have made it this far without ALL of your support!!!!!  To Dr Loggins and his staff.....some of the best peeps around!  Could NOT have done this without them too!  To my Heavenly Father........I NEVER would have gotten ANYWHERE without YOU!!!!!!!!  Thank you to ALL!!!!!!!!

Love and hugs to all!

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About Me
Sabattus, ME
Surgery Date
Mar 01, 2008
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