My journey...

May 05, 2016

Tim and I completed the final step in our insurance requirements to have the sleeve surgery.  Now we are waiting on insurance approval.  I so pray it doesn't take lang and that it comes back approved.

I actually started this journey atleast 6 years ago when I first started looking really hard at weight loss surgery.  I researched and for whatever reason, probably a little fear mixed in with insurance not covering it, I never continued past researching.  Until now.  Last summer I had something happen that scared the daylights out of me.  The doctor doesn't know if it was a mini stroke or what, but I had the most massive sharp pain in my head then like a pop and all of a sudden the pain eased, but I couldn't move my right arm.  I had trouble forming words.  My husband said he could understand me when I was talking, I was just talking slowly.  In about 20 minutes or so, it was all gone...except the worry.  I went to the doctor and was told it could have been a migraine or it could have been a mini stroke.  I really didn't have the money at the time to do all the different tests that wouldn't change what happened, it would just maybe explain it.  One of the doctors that I had to go to though was the cardiologist.  He said I was relatively healthy...for now.  I had an enlarged heart and if I didn't lose weight, I would be in some trouble in the future.  Hence where I am now.  My mom suffered with heart problems most of my life and it scares me to have to make my kids watch me go through anything even close.  It is time to take a stand and do whatever I need to do to get myself right.  For me, and my kids.  My husband on the other hand, just seemed to decide one day he was tired of being overweight and wanted to have surgery.  For that reason, he thinks he should be first.  Whatever, he can be first.  I don't really care.  I just hope he is really ready.  I still keep learning new things every time I read peoples stories that I feel like help me to be prepared for the journey.  Tim hasn't read anything.  He knows what he hears me say and that really is about it.  I have practically begged him to do his own research and to make sure he knows what he is getting into but he wont do it.  I can't carry him through this.  I have my own journey and while they intermingle some along the way...my journey is mine and his is his.  We can help prop each other up but neither of us can carry the other.

In my researching, I picked Dr. Mickey Seger at BMI of Texas.  They have great reviews and seem to be amazing doctors there.  On my first visit with him, I knew I had picked right.  He is a very down to earth family man.  He really is empathetic and understanding.  I know he will help make my tool the best he can, then it is up to me.  My weight on my first visit was 324 lbs.  I was horrified!  Whey the heck did it creep up that high?  My mind had never thought I was as big as the eyes tell me I am.  Maybe that will be good in the future, but right now denial doesn't help anyone!   The first visit to the nutritionist was such an eye opening experience.  When she said no more than 20-30 carbs a day, I thought no big deal.  I had NO IDEA how many carbs were in things.  The items she said not to eat such as grains, potatos, corn and such, I took to heart.  I was very strict and counted every carb that went into my mouth.  I was using BMI's app on my phone trying to log everything and hit all the numbers the app was saying I was suppose to.  I thought I was going to starve to death trying to figure out what to eat that didn't cost me my whole days worth of carbs in one sitting.  I wanted to save those carbs...in case I needed them for dinner.  Then dinner would come and I couldn't make myself eat them still.  I managed to lose 25 lbs the first month.  Great right?  Nope...15 lbs was fat, 10 lbs was muscle.  Jodi set me straight really quick that I had to eat my carb allowance, and eat health fats and ease up a bit on the strictness.  I had broke thru the carb addition and was on my way.  Until now...since my last appoint with Jodi on Friday, I have been slipping.  I can only hope that it is my mind doing alot of food funerals without my hearts approval.  All I know is that I have let carbs slip back in and the carb monster is eatting at me again.  I don't want to screw up what I have done so far so tomorrow I go back on my strict eating plan.  Forget those food funerals!  They hurt too much when I eat all those carbs.  My tummy gets so nauseous and it is horrible.
 
Anyway, that is the start of my journey.  I can't wait to see where this roller coaster takes me! 
 
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About Me
37.9
BMI
Jul 15, 2010
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