What a Journey!

Feb 07, 2010

I went to the monthly support group meeting last Thursday. Its interesting to meet and talk with people who are pre-op. Some haven't made that decision yet to have the surgery, some are about to have it, some are scared out of their mind and some are really anxious to get it over with. I love to encourage them. I love to tell them how far I have come. I always tell them that if they have any emotional attachment to food (I think all obese people do), they need to heal their body and mind. Because this takes a toll on your mind.
I have received so many compliments. Its really wonderful. It seems so odd to hear people say things like "you are so skinny!" or "You have such a cute figure!". I don't think I have ever heard those words. Me? Skinny? Wow. Some days I have a hard time actually believing these things. It comes from years / decades of very low self esteem. This is an emotional journey for me. I hope one day I will be at a point where I can look in the mirror and say "wow you ARE skinny Tina" or "you are beautiful". I am working on it. With the help of counseling I will get there.
Emotional eating is something that hasn't gone away for me. Lately I have been missing my hubby a million times more. We are 5 months into the deployment and have 3 months left. I can't wait for it to be over so I can be in his arms again. I will be the happiest girl in the world. After 19 years of marriage, I am still crazy in love with that man.
2 snow storms in 2 weeks is not helping my emotional eating. Being trapped inside last week was bad. I decided this week that I would not do that again. We braved the roads and went to church this morning. The news made it sound alot worse than it actually was. And I needed to hear what was said in church. Im so glad I went.
I have a few friends at church who have had gastric bypass too. So its almost like a mini-support group meeting too! 
Overall, I love my RNY. There have been things I don't love about it...but they are minor, like the monster who constantly growls in my tummy, constipation like passing a watermelon, hair loss, turkey neck, low iron. I think thats about it. But compared to all the awesome things like, no more meds! , diabetes GONE, high blood pressure GONE, sleep apena GONE, sex drive BACK! and regular cycle BACK!  life is good. I can't complain.

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