Tinkerbell123

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

Wow!!  What a roller coaster this has been so far.  I went to see my doctor yesterday and lost 45lbs!!  It feels amazing and I am seeing Dr Amson on the 22nd, so hopefully will have dropped some more.

It' s been a challenge though, sticking to the diet, especcially over Christmas Time and I've slipped several times.  At least I knew I did and tried to stay away the next time.  Now that I am back at work, things are easier and back into a routine I can cope with.  I had to go and buy some clothes the other day and what  a nice feeling it was telling the lady in the dressing room to please get me a smaller size  The feeling was amazing.  My girlfriend went with me and couldn't believe her eyes.  It all made me feel so special.

But............  emotionally, well, I think there are still a lot of things to figure out and cope with.  I am losing the weight that gave me the low selfesteem and other issues, why am I feeling the way I do??  I don't know.....  I just have to take it one day at a time, recognize what is happening, see my doctor and with help, get through this.

I think the most frustrating thing for me is, trying to figure out what to eat, how much, what to avoid.  When I have a cold, sniffles, headache, what can I take for medications, what should I stay away from.  I realized the doctors and pharmacists don't know enough to give me an educated answer and that frustrates me even more.  Well onward and forward!!!!  Will have an update again once I've seen Dr Amson.  Good luck to everyone, still waiting for surgery or who had their surgery and walking this road with me

Well I am three weeks out and feeling a lot better than the first week after my surgery.Only problem is I can't get enough sleep in!!  It's 3.41am in the morning and I am wide awake.

I am starting to get my fluids in ok, eat a bit more, but still struggling to keep on top of taking the vitamins, This "wait an hour" between fluid and food is confusing the heck out of me.  It feels to me that all I'm doing is watching the time, drink water, watching the time, eat, watching the time, drink water,  wow....  this sure is a change.

I am 20lbs down and really happy about that.  I can't see it though, to me, I still look the same, my clothes still fit the same.  Tomorrow is my 2nd visit to my Doc and I have one week left before returning to work.

Now if I can just get the sleeping and eating thing under control, I think I will be fine.  Just have to start packing my lunches for work now.. yikes!

So, today was my first visit to see my GP and I think it went ok,  to start with, he never had a patient that had this surgery and didn't really knew what to do.  Dr A told me to follow of with my GP in a week and that's what I do

So I basically had to tell him," I think I should have my blood checked, you should check to see if the wounds are healing ok and maybe I should be wieghed as well"  What else, I don't know, maybe we need more direction on this one.

Anyways.... before the appointment I had a rather bizarre episode.  Took my vitamins at 11:30am, came upstairs to check on some things and the next minute I was in agony and pain, my stomach cramping, shaking, started to sweat and nausea.  I could hardly make it to the bathroom and thought I'm going to faint.  It was awfull!!!  afterwards I had to lay down and was as white as a ghost.

Well, I had my first  after the surgery a week ago and my blood pressure was way down low.  So I don't know if that is what it was or was it "the dumping" syndrome everyone is talking about.  My doctor tells me it's low blood sugar, and my blood pressure is on the low side...  Now what is it, dumping, or low blood pressure??  I'm just taking it easy today and still shaky but feeling much much better.   That was scary..

Mmm... yesterday was kind of an odd day for me,  I was feeling hungry, I think....  I am so scared to eat too much or eat the wrong thing, that I think I'm not getting enough in.  I had my usual yogurt in the morning, protein shake in the afternoon, but really struggling with the water issue.

So I made a plan, I went grocery shopping with my ex mom in law, bought some more soups, some sugar free popsicles, some cream of wheat and some frozenlow sugar juices, I thought, if I make the juice into ice cubes and suck on that and the popsicles, that would be at least some kind  of water.  I had half a cup of soup last night and it was delicious!!  One day at a time, as they say (I'm so tired of that saying by now!!)  Yea I am not a patient person, but unfortunately have to be.

I've been irritable, moody, tired, headaches off and on,  not sleeping at night properly,  whow, what a combination.  Even my daughter told me yesterday I'm throwing tantrumsI have to really try hard and work on that today. Keep myself busy, making sure I eat enough. 


All these emotions, ugh.... I've cried, been mad, been sad, irritated, bitchy,..............

I am scared, frustrated, irritated, tired, all at the same time.  I think it's just frustrating, knowing you can't eat what you had before and figuring out what you can and cannot have and how much that is bugging me, then kids inbetween, dog, birds to feed.  It makes for a pretty good explosion.  I've actually had some solid food yesterday, 1/4 of a hamburger patty, chew a lot before swallowing and that was ok,, wierd.........  I guess we are all different.........  But I will keep going with the soft foods and liquids..

That is my rant for the day, I will fine better tomorrow I am sure

Well here I am, at home, in my pj's, feel like I'm 8 months pregnant and too scared to eat:)  well ok,  I was really scared when I went in for the surgery, even cried a bit, but Dr A came down to see me before the surgery, spoke to me, re-assured me and off I went.

I don't remember much from the surgery room, just that everything was such an ugly yellow color, if I had my hands on the place, decor would be totally different, people were scurring around, getting things ready and the next minute I know some  nasty nurse told me to keep it down cause there's other people in the room!!  The recovery room!!
Yes I have to admit, I moand pretty hard, don't like aneastetics that much and was pretty out of it for the rest of the day.

Dr A told me his patients go home the following day, and I still thought yea right.....  I will not lie, Friday I was in a lot of pain, had morphine and gravol pumped into my like there was no tomorrow,  Saturday morning came and I had one almighty migraine, probably from not eating for two days, coffee withdrawl symptoms and whatnot (I am prone to migraines and had one lingering the previous day (Lovely prep day)   So in my room runs the nurse with some imitrex for my my migraine and guess what? it got stuck in my throat, the next minute I know I want to hurl all over the place, as white as a sheet.  Lesson no 1.  if you have a big fat tablet, cut it in half.  Lesson 2, don't try and drink too much water with your tablets it only makes it worse. 

Needless to say, I stayed on Saturday with more gravol and more pain killers.  The food was ok... it sure is a life change, Little bit of ensure, plain yogurt (Yuck) skim milk and some  broth,  only thing that changed was the  broth, if it was not chicken, it was beef or vegetable.  Not too bad...  Lesson 3, take it slow and easy... it took my almost an hour to get the broth and milk down.  Never liked plain yogurt, I don't think I ever will.    I had an ok night last night, still feel very bloated but not so much pain any more and a lot less nausea.  So this morning, Dr A comes in with his Timmies (yea and I can't have any!) and took one look at my breakfast and said,  I can't believe they give you this stuff, you can have toast!!!

So that's what I did, we get on the ferry, I had one piece of whole wheat brown toast, no butter and was it ever delicious!  it went down good (after lots of chewing) and it stayed down.  so far so good.  I am home, and just need to take it one day at a time.  Like my friend said, one day you will be able to eat something, the next you will hurl it up.. ..so baby steps..  I've waited a long time for this, gone through hell and back, now I have the tool to make this work, if other people can do it, so can I

Well, today was one of those days that I just wanted to cry.  I am nervous, I haven't slept a wink last night, and so wish my mom was here right now.  This is my last day at work, and I can't seem to get anything done, I just want this day to be over, then getting ready to pack and head over to the island for my surgery. 
The nerves are really setting in now and my friend called me a worry wort last night.   I think I just need a good night's sleep, and everything will be fine.

I am so glad my friend is going with me and she will be there until I head home on Monday

Well, here I am, still trying to figure out the site, figure out everything about my upcoming surgery, reading, reading, reading, and getting confused.

What to eat, what not to eat, try to avoid nausea, vomiting, not making any mistakes, figuring out the vitamins etc.  oh so confusing...  I'm 4 days away from starting a new life and already stressing out,  try and take it one day at a time, ok that is easier said than done.  But I know I have to, there were many before me, and many will be after me, if they can do it, so can I. 

I think for me the big thing will be patience,  patience to loose the weight, patience to get the eating thing right, ah patience....