Tinkerbell74

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 Well, I did it.  I went through with my VSG surgery.  The hospital stay was a little rough at first.  My body accepted the anesthesia so well, that I had to stay in recovery extra.  I had some pain issues immediately after surgery, but pain meds took care of that.  I had quite a bit of swelling in my new tummy, so getting in fluids has been difficult.  But I'm making it through.  I've been resting a lot, walking some, doing my anti-blood clot exercises.  I don't really feel hungry.  I have had some confusion with my brain about it telling me, "shouldn't you be eating something?"  It's a little difficult with my husband and kids eating in the next room. But I can't blame them, I chose this for myself.  Once I get more used to my new body and I get to eat regular foods, I will be better.  One day at a time is my new motto

 I have to admit that I am having some slight nervousness.  I have completed all my pre op testing, psych evaluation, and PCP visit.  Next week I'm going to Dr. Kim's support group.  Yet another step up for me.  There are times when I feel like I am in a dark basement trying to climb out.  I really wish I had a better opinion of myself.  Everyone tells me that I'm too hard on myself.  It's so difficult to see myself as anything other than overweight and ugly.  I just have to keep taking steps upward until I get to the top.  

 Well, I made a decision, finally.  I went to the info session to start my weight loss journey.  There will be no looking back from here.  I have been doing research for over a year and finally got up the courage to start the process.  I have to do this not only for me, but for my kids.  They deserve to have a better mom.  I have to trust that God will see me through this surgery and help me improve my life.  Right now I have so much hope that I didn't have before.