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I've managed to drop almost 15 lbs since we've moved to paradise. The active ocean and beach lifestyle compliment my weight loss efforts. Snorkeling, swimming, paddleboard, kayaking. I'm keeping active. 

A month back I finally decided to meet up with my new primary care MD, Dr. Roderick Morgann. When I talked about my history of bariatric surgery and my reflux, he referred me out to the GI doctor, Dr. Scott Kuwada. I met with him and did a few tests. One of which was a manometry and the other an upper endoscopy with Bravo. They installed a temporary sensor in my esophagus to take measurments of the PH (Acid) in my esophagus. This would be used along with the images of the EGD to score me in terms of how extensive the Gerd is. 

POST-PROCEDURE DIAGNOSES:
1. Abnormal 48-hour Bravo pH study with DeMeester scores elevated at 48.5 on day 1 and 91.7 on day 2 with normal being up to 14.72.   WHAT!!!! I guess I already knew this. 10 years of band regurgitation + Sleeve heartburn. 
2. Heartburn was correlated with reflux on both the symptom index and symptom association probability scales 

So Dr. Kuwada referred me to Dr. Kenrick Murayama. He is one of the head surgeons at the John Burns School of Medicine. We talked on Monday and he sent me for an Upper GI barium swallow to get some images of the pouch and shape of the sleeve. 

This morning the Barium swallow was a train wreck. No really, it was laughable. I explained my history to the rooming tech. The tech and the radiologist were both there for the procedure, which I though was a little weird. The radiologist has never been so hands on during the procedure before at least at other facilities. And after today, he may change his mind about being so involved. After the bubbling pop rocks I swallowed, I stepped on the foot of the bed and they handed me the barium. I took my first few sips. We joked about my limited real estate in my belly. I told them I really thought there was too much barium for me to get down at one time. After a few larger sips, I told him I felt I had hit my max and he assured me there was more room than I realized. He could see it on the screen after all. A few more sips and I got it down just as he said. They took a few pictures and started tipping the bed. As they tipped me back I started swallowing trying to keep it down. I told them it felt like it was coming up. I was flat on my back at that point. I gulped another bit of air trying to get it to stay down but then they tipped the bed just a little more so I was now upside down (ish).

"It's coming up!" The assistant ran to get the blue puke bag but was too late. I hurled that thick barium all over myself, the machine, and the radiologist shoes. Because he was so fixated on the screen, he didn't move out of the way fast enough. He said he'd never seen reflux so extensive. He said, "WOW! So you never eat before bed right?"  It was like there was no sphincter at all above my sleeve. Is the sphincter working? Am I broken? Is it the pouch that was created too high? IDK! 

He decided that he got all the images he felt they needed and that we did not need to proceed with more thick barium and certainly no thin barium. They got me cleaned up and he said he would indicate his observations in the report. I call the referring MD and told them I wasn't able to complete the test and was looking for direction if any were needed before my follow-up on Monday. Oh what fun... and the beat goes on. 

I hate this weight issue. Yo-Yo, wash-rinse and repeat! Weight gain. Do we see a pattern yet? 

I'm signed up for the Comprehensive Weight Management program in my new state because we moved again. Surprise.

I'm in the Aloha Isle living the dream however it's not all sunshine and rainbows. I can't find a pair of women’s slippahs because I'm so bloated and miserable all the time. I've slowly been packing on every pound that I lost. I had to have a come to Jesus moment with myself today. I think I'm 283lbs. Give or take a few. That is so disappointing. 

I was just reviewing my old blogs and seeing what worked, what didn't. I was sitting here thinking that I haven't been on the boards since my band to sleeve revision. I have had no support system other than an md whom I made write orders for blood work. Seriously. No physician follow up. No therapy or counseling. Obviously that is a piece that I need. Follow through and accountability. 

My food choices have been atrocious. I did have an ahi salad without dressing this weekend. I took the left overs and made tortilla rolls. So bo-go healthy option. It is certainly better than the alternative. 

I just came to vent and look at my options.

1. Get off my ass and start getting seriously more physical than I am now. More swimming, snorkeling, walking. 

2. Get on medication to help me with my food cravings. 

3. Revise to RNY. I really don't want to go this route. Supplements/ shakes are icky and make me nauseous!!!

4. Combo of all of the above. 

well, well, well. Here I am close to a year out and doing really well. I'm working in New York and living in Portland, go figure that.  I fly out every Monday to New York and fly back every Friday. It's grueling on the body and I eat in restaurants and taco trucks almost every day. I'm still steadily losing weight. I think I'm down about 70 pounds. 

 We just got back from a few weeks in Hawaii and I actually wore my swimsuit. My daughter is now 4 1/2 years old and I'm trying to be body positive as best as I can while confronting my insecurities head on.  She certainly keeps me honest.  The best part of the trip was that I was healthy enough to go scuba diving in and haul my wide load carcass up the boat ladder out of a heaving ocean while carrying a extra 60 pounds on my back. And that folks is called taking back my life.

I made it through surgery at Swedish in Seattle. My doctor is pregnant so her partner actually did the surgery. I like Dr. Sung, he is very nice. I did have some issues while in the hospital. Four failed IVs, talk about no fun.

I'm home now and I've had my fill of Sugar-free Jell-O, sugar-free pudding, sure free Crystal light and Mio, sugar free shakes, broth.

I want to eat!!!!!!

I've had a few things that were "liquids" in the last two days,  but they really had way too much sugar or fat. Like a milkshake and a watered down lemonaide. I think the excessive sugar and fat is what is causing the diarrhea. I'm talking explosive!!  I'm anxious for my follow up appointment tomorrow in Seattle. I know I'm down 14 pounds in the last two weeks. I think that's not too shabby. I know I also have not been getting in enough water but I am making an attempt to try to stay up on that. 

Other than that I'm feeling pretty good. Just having trouble sleeping on my right side and developed an allergy to the glue around my incisions. They're welted and itchy. But this'll be over soon enough. 

Yep, here we are, 14 months after having a c-section. Everybody is healthy. I try really hard to remember that little piece because its the most important piece, right?

I had only gained about 20 lbs with my pregnancy. My MD did not unfill me during my pregnancy. The pounds, 12 of which they say is the baby and fluids, is barely worth mentioning. So yea, i did damn good! I have a beautiful healthy baby girl that would not even be possible if it weren't for that initial weight loss of a 100lbs.

But I had a c-section and a bit of a recovery. Wow, I quickly packed on 30 lbs from sitting around, being able to eat finally and of course not exercising while my hormones went haywire. Uh oh! Sciatica, recovery... Crap!

I've got my work cut out for me. I've got to drop almost 50 lbs to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. That is 50% of my original weight loss!!

I remember how I did it. Thankfully I found a picture to remind me. It's a collage of all my workout methods. Hiking, biking, walking, swimming, dancing, snow shoveling, snowshoeing hahaha. I was so terrible at snowshoes. But it was a really fun workout. Oh believe me, the weight did not lose itself with just the band. There was no EASY WAY OUT. I worked hard to lose those pounds, the band just helped me keep it off. 

Well it's time to get back on the bandwagon! Where is the edamame? Go team go, let's start walking.

Crazy things have been happening in my world.... besides working fulltime, school part time, trying to grow a baby, be an involved wife and in process of trying to buy a house, Phew! I'm all tuckered out.

So it really caught me off gaurd when the woman I meet with every week for my nutritional check-in said she wanted to refer me out to a nutritional counselor for eating disorders. WHAT??? I've been muddling just fine for over 3 1/2 years with my band. I'm 4 months pregnant and I've managed to maintain my weight loss these last few months. I'm not losing or gaining. I call that a success. I get in all my calories from my calculations and I'm getting in all my suppliments. Just because I occassionally get stuck and might vomit, and we're talking like once every few weeks, DOES NOT MEAN  I'M BULEMIC! For the love of god, all the other prego mommas I've talked to are still hurling their guts out practically daily. I've been holding it together pretty well, If I do say so myself.                     UGH!!!!

I have historically tried to consume between 1000-1200 calories a day which worked the first year and a half. I lost almost 100 lbs!  And then I regained a little and then a little more after my partial unfill. For a long time I struggled to even get in those 1000 calories.  Well in the last few months, due to pregnancy, they upped my caloric intake to a goal of 1500 but striving for 1700.  I don't know if it's the hormones, the lunar alignment or what, but I'm running with it.

I'm down another 6 lbs in the last two weeks. I am eating healthier and heartier than ever before. Seriously... Today I had a decaf mocha, two pieces of bacon, two eggs and some hashbrowns for breakfast.. Yesterday I had a pint of chocolate milk and yogurt, split pea soup with 10 yes TEN crackers, apple juice, I had a little of some chinese beef something with onions and green peppers, I had some cheetos : (  and some fruit punch. I had some parmesian cheese crackers, I had 2 shortbread cookies and a huge bowl of paleek paneer. I'm telling you! I'M EATING!!!!

and the strangest thing is happening. I'm losing.... Thoughts? Had my body adjusted and gone into starvation mode at the lower calorie level?  Is it just baby crazies taking over?

 I finally figured out why I can smell the patchouli down the block and the left Overs in the garbage. The neighbor smoking makes me want to gag.   I didn't know sense of smell changes during pregnancy. It's all making SCENTS now. Lol!!

I got on the what to expect when expecting daily emails and I'm really thankful that I'm not going crazy. After reading the 6-6 1/2 weeks section I have to wonder what's playing with me the most. The band or this baby. When I think to myself at the meal just isn't going down or agreeing with me, is it the nausea talking or the band. I'm going to have to start paying a lot more attention to my body.

I also am afraid I'm going to be forced to start drinking ridiculous amounts of water. Since I'm pretty much off the mochas now and I'm not getting in enough fluids. Amazingly, water is starting to even sound good. This is a first!

I just wanted to share a little revelation. This Halloween I pulled my wedding dress out so I could see the back of the train and how it was bustled. On a whim I tried it on. Keep in mind, that I married 10 years ago. My weight when I was married is still a 40 lb loss in the future. I’ve got a ways to go.  Well you would not believe, but that dress fit better today than it did then. My stomach is so much slimmer than it was back then. My back fat is pretty much gone. My hubby even commented that he was shocked how good it looked. And then a tear welled up because he said I look more beautiful now than the day he met me. WOW! Yes, I know, He’s a keeper. And to think that I have been so fixated on the stupid numbers on the scale. I have lusted after that wretched #199 for so long that I forgot to look and realize how much healthier I am. Back then, I could never have run a 5k, hiked 20 some miles over a glacier, rode a bike for almost 50 miles. NO WAY! But I can now! I need to remember that muscle really does weigh more than fat. I need to remember that happiness and health are much lighter on the soul than chub. Putting on that dress reminded me that I need to honor, love and cherish myself too. Folks, I’m three years into my journey. I know it’s tough out there, but you have to keep your chin up, keep vigilant and above all don’t give up. Even if you blow it for the day, for the week, for last month, god forbid… It doesn’t matter! Tomorrow you have to start over. Keep trying because YOU are worth it.

This weekend I did an 8 bridge pedal with 20,000 other bike crazies through Portland Oregon; the city of bridges that I currently call home.

We got lost going to the starting line so we tacked on 6 miles to the start of this fun ride plus one bridge crossing right from the start. We got going and all was well till bridge #8. We were supposed to be on the 10 bridge route but a flag volunteer sent us the wrong way so we ended up at the finish line a bit sooner than we were supposed to. My husband and friends were a little bummed. I however was elated. Seriously, it was like a prayer had been answered. The ride we ended up doing was 27 miles and then the 5 miles home (another bridge) with a small 1 mile detour... add it up. Yea, my booty was getting cranky. I had one little asthma attack and thankfully had my inhaler. I got a few muscle cramps in my calves. But most of the time I was all smiles. I could NEVER have done this 3 years ago. NO WAY! But I did this year.

I about gave up a few times. My self doubt was creeping in and I was so fatigued. My husband and friends reminded me that I could do it. They always push me so much further than I think I can go. It was hard and it hurt. Oh god it hurts today!!! Ibuprofen, water and relaxation are the only things on my agenda for the rest of the afternoon.

Anyway. I just wanted to show you what one bandster who loathes "exercise" does for movement.
The first pic is me trying to look tough. Pre ride and full of smiles. Look at those guns!! Ignore the fools I'm standing with.

BTW- the guy in the pics wearing the orange helmet with gumby glued to it is my husband. He's naturally a skinny jerk. When I found him, he was all of 124lbs. He's a healthy 155 now days and knows what a vegetable is. John the guy in the red shirt is not naturally thin. 5 years ago John was 320lbs. He is now a marathon runner and works very very hard to maintain his weight loss by running, biking and doing the insanity workouts. Oh and two years ago he became a vegetarian. His wife in the other pink shirt has been a 115 lbs since grade school. She's been vegetarian for 12 years and I am literally twice the woman she is. Makes you think...