tj14504

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Well we all know its a possiblity and that we have to arm ourselves against it but sometimes we need to be reminded.....Last post in Feb I was in Onederland and even got a down to the mid 190s.... Fast forward to now and I'm rocking 220.  Better than when I started the journey but not good!  The auto-weight loss has stopped so now it's time for me to work!  I should have been working all along...like with the exercise but I've also slipped back into some bad habits.  I never really adhered to the 30/30 rule with regards to meals and drinking but I've noticed how much I graze throughout the day.  Chips and sweets are my nemesis.  Chips were always a problem but now I've added sweets to the mix.  But hey I know what I need to do.  I know how far I've come and I REFUSE to go back to that dark, lonely, obese place!

Wow!  I can't believe it!  Today I am 198 lbs!  If you read my January post, you will recall that I was scheduled for a hysterectomy and panniculectomy this month.  Well that occurred without a hitch on Monday 2/5th.  Thank God for bringing me through 2 simultaneous surgerys! Thank you Jesus!  Remarkably I haven't been in the pain that I was expecting.  I was more concerned about the pain from the panni removal than from anything else b/c I knew that incision would be a big one.....and it is.  The incision extends beyond each hip and I no longer have a bellybutton.  I had panni removal only - no TT or lipo so my upper belly is still round and chubby' but I dont mind....They removed 12lbs of skin/tissue/fat by removing the pannus!!  12 lbs!!!  Between that and my uterus w/fibroids I lost approx 16lbs from these 2 surgeries.  Even with swelling I've continued to lose weight since coming home which has brought me to Onederland! 

I Love It!

There are things that some people take for granted or don't even think about ( don't get me wrong I wish I could have been one of those people :)  ).
1.  it feels weird to have my panties touch the top of my whoo-haa!
2.  buying a pair of pants for how they fit in the waist, not for how they fit around your panni.  (Yep, if you have platics you're looking at least 1-2 more wardrobe replacements.  Technically I have 1 pair of pants and 2 dresses that I could wear right now without them being to big.  I am not complaining...Its just that I had finally amassed plenty of clothes that I would wear during my times in the low to mid 200's :)  If I have to have a problem, I'm glad this is the problem.

Right now, I'm swearing off any other plastics -   just not ready for another round of recovery.  That may cahnge if I forget the discomfort of my panni removal, but right now, I'm good with the batwings ands that saggy bags :)

 

Hello 2010!  It feels good coming into this year still experiencing the changes that WLS brings.  14 months post-op is still full of surprises and adjustments.  I still can't get used to shopping for clothes. I finally threw away all my big girl panties and have to chuckle when a size 9 pair of panties fit.....To the Paris Hilton's of the world, that may seem ginormous, but for me coming from a 12-13, that's itty-bitty.  Sorry if I'm oversharing but I believe in being open here.  My experience my help someone along their journey.

My weight right now is fluctuating between 221 & 225 and that's after a long stall around 230-235.  I had to buckle back down and do what I was supposed to do with regards to what I was eating.  I began to see bad habits trying to creep back in.  Unfortunately, I am one of the ones who can still eat fast food/junk food with no dumping syndrome.  To me it's just a testament to what I've said from the beginning of this lifestyle change -- WLS is just a tool, I still have to make the right choices when it comes to what I put in my mouth.  WLS just helped with how much of it and made me more aware of the fat and calories in stuff.  Now somethings make me feel 'bad' but I've never truly experienced what others have so thats why I say, I am one of the unfortunate ones.  It does make it easier when eating out with friends/co-workers/business clients. 

Well I knew I had fibroids (diagnosed a couple of years ago)...but I wasn't ready to give up my opportunity to bear children of my own.  After months of heavy bleeding and extreme pain, I bit the bullet and went for my third and final opinion regarding the absolute need for surgery.  Well when the ultrasound revealed a very large fibroid that has expanded from the back of the uterus up to my bellybutton.....there's my sign.  So February 8, 2010 my baby carrier, that has never carried a baby, will be removed at 38yrs of age.  I always try to find the silver lining and my silver lining hear is that because of a large pannus that was  in place prior to WLS.  It actually hasn't gotten any 'longer' it's just looser, my panniculectomy will be performed at the same time as my hysterectomy and will be covered by insurance!  I know that seems like something crazy to be excited about, but I always knew that I would need the panniculectomy - heck I could have used one prior to having WLS, but I also knew unless, I married Daddy Warbucks or won the lottery, that i didn't have the money to cover it.  So while I am going to lose my uterus, my panni removal is also being paid for by insurance.  There's the silver.  Now the big question is what size will I where when that is done!?!?!  Sorry for the length, just wanted to share what's going on in my world!  Trying to update my ticker also!

Be blessed, stay safe and ALWAYS  find the silver....

9 months post opt and I'm am down 127lbs - 100 of which is post op!  100 FREAKING POUNDS!!!!  Whoo-Hoo!!!  I know truly have to work for each pound and have gotten a little slack.....by that I mean I tracked my food a couple of days ago and almost had a fit when I saw that I'd had an 1100calorie day!  I know, 1200 is the daily recommended amount but I was pissed b/c I'd eaten so many high calorie foods that didn't have a lot of protein.  And to top it all off - I'd eaten small amounts so it wasn't 1100 due to the amount I was eating.  Some of it was bad - Dorities and some reduced fat chocolate chip cookies, but some of it wasn't - fruit!  a sandwich made with 100 cal bread (that's 100 cal for both pieces) and the turkey sandwich meat.  but I gues when you put 3 slices of meat at about 50cal/slice, it will add up.  Looking at the big picture, 1100 cals is nothing compared to what I used to eat but it still freaks me out!  I can easily eat 8oz of food at one sitting - 3 - 4 oz of protein and then the rest made up of side items.  That concerns me when I remember that it wasn't that long ago I could only eat a few bites and was stuffed. 

Some tops I have are now a 1x or 18-20.  I bought a dress the other day that was an 18-20!!!! But I realize part of that was due to the material b/c I tried on another less forgiving material and had to get a 22.  It's absolutely amazing to me!  My poor boobies!  I'm currently in a 44D from a 54DDD and the 44D is starting to feel a little less supportive so I guess I need to go down to a 42 or 4.  I tried on my niece's bra (a 38D) and while I was overflowing the cups, the bra did fit around the waist , albeit a little snugly.  Don't want the cup to go down any more!!!

Life is good!  I'm happy and I hope to stay happy with my decision in the years to come!

There really is room in the airplane bathroom!  Prior to WLS I always made sure I went to the bathroom before boarding because i was afraid I would attempt to go on the plane and be unable to close the door... There's no way to avoid being seen in that situation so I never attempted it.  I recently flew to Las Vegas on business (5 hr flight) and there was no way to avoid it...I had to go!  There was so much room I couldn't believe it!  I was afraid to try it at 370#, not so at 255#.  I know that that is still probably considered obese for my height but I'm just happy to be out of the 300's.

When you lose weight, you lose weight everywhere!  Not to overshare but according to a trusted loved one, the top of my hoo-ha is sagging like a ----sack.  (first part of the word rhymes with all and is generally found on the male species  )Looks like I need to add that to my list of things that need to be lifted - I don't know about nipping and tucking it, maybe they can just pick it back up!

Sometimes I wish I would have the dumping syndrome - I know that if I'd experienced it, I probably wouldn't be saying that but as much as I love the tool that I've been given, I find that I have to work extra hard to do what's right.  I know everyone is working hard at this but I don't dump.  I have had a few things that I thought for sure would send me running to the hills based on the experiences of others but not so....I actually ate the meat and cheese from a McDonald's Double CB the other day with a few fries.  I know it wasn't the best choice but that's why I say I really have to be careful.  The weekends are the hardest - sitting around watching television what did I find myself doing - eating a snack sized bag of doritoes.  Wanting little snacky type foods.  The worst thing that happens - I get really stinky gas!!! That's my clue that I've been to heavy in the carb basket.  I'm so afraid because I know the potential to revert to old habits is there! 

Airplane designers like to mess with your head!  I can get on one plane and be extender free.  I get on the next plane and have to dig it out of my bag.  Granted, I don't have to use that much of the extender but I still have to use it!  I had an experience last month that totally bummed me out.  I'd gotten on the plane and buckled my seat belt without the extender.  The stewardess is walking down the aisle and whips out an extender, presenting it to me.  I looked up and said no 'I'm Good..."  She replies, Oh, OK and walks away.  She comes back and leans down onto me, apologizing profusely saying there was another female in a white shirt that had requested one.  She was clearly embarrassed but it still didn't stop the tears from welling up! 

Well enough miscellaneous ramblings for one night.  BTW just went for my 6 month check up and had bloodwork done.  Hopefully my iron & hemoglobin levels are up.  I know my calcium, Vit D and B12 won't be. But like I told the surgeon, one thing at a time it took me years to get in the habit of taking my thyroid medicine everyday!

I'll have to update my avatar soon - Don't you just love having your picture taken now!  I know I do!

I am still feeling the effects of not following my vitamin regimen like I should have in the beginning of this journey.  I feel better but I can still tell things are not quite right.  I am sooooo easily winded.  More so than when I weighed 370# and now I'm 266!  If I bend over for any length of time...talk about the swimmy head!  So much that my body begins to feel heavy and I have to quickly sit down or else I feel like I'm going to black out - which I have never done in my life!

My #'s were in the toilet in February and when I went to my PCP on my own in March for a check to see if there was any notable difference, well, they are still in the toilet.  At least now they are floating around the top of the bowl instead of being at the bottom of it.  In February my % iron saturation didn't even register.  In March it was 2%.  Thank God for small improvements!  Like I said, I'm kickin- not high, but still kickin.  I went to church Sunday (for the 1st time in a long time but that's another chapter for another time - being used in the church house is a sure fire reason to leave!)  Anywhoo...I had a realization that I didn't have anything "appropriate" to wear!  I have clothes for work (although not that many - I have gotten creative when it comes to repeating the same pair of pants in the same week) and the church I'd planned to attend does not have a problem w/ women in pants.  I decided to go to Dillards - my 1st time in a non-speciality store in about 15years.  I knew that I'd have to go to the womens department but still......i bought a pant suit off the rack in a size 24 and it looked great!

Just thought I'd share!!!!

Okay.  If you're pre-op and you don't remember anything else you've been told or you've read here on OH, remember this - TAKE YOUR VITAMINS!!!  If you're like me and you have a problem remembering to take maintenance meds, then you may have problems.  I am still struggling to get my iron up!  My first post-op visit, which was in December '08, my hemoglobin was 4.  My next visit, which was February '09 it was 7.6.  I just had some more labwork done on April 2nd and it was 7.8.  It's climbing but it's climbing slowly.  From February to April I have been diligent about my meds but it's taking it's sweet time.  I hope and pray that it's closer to normal (which is at least 11) at the end of May which is my next appointment.  If it's not then I think it's time for a power-up.... a transfusion.  My menstrual cycle has calmed down with regards to the heaviness of it but the cramps are close to sending me to the hospital!

Let's see what's been going on - I'm holding around 270/271 which is 100# since starting this process a year ago March, it also puts me at 73# down since the day of surgery!  Almost unbelievable.  From a 54DDD bra to a 44D!  These poor pennybags...I need to have these suckers picked up NOW!!   I've resorted to wearing underwire!

Don't remember if I mentioned this previously or not but I can once again tolerate sugar-free products! Glad that crises is over - my nutritionist is happy also.  I can also deal with the protein powders.  I think I'm going to change up my diet and really adhere to the "protein first, then if there is room....some veggies and fruit".

I learned that I was doing something wrong.  You know how as obese people we don't have the normal signals that it's time to stop eating... we often eat to the point of feeling like we're going to burst.  We some of that carried over after WLS.  Let me explain.  Since I had no appetite or desire to eat for about 4 months, I focused on getting in my protein amounts.  This meant if I fixed a plate that had 4oz of protein, a little veggies or a side dish, my goal was to eat all of it.  That would often leave me very, very full....to the point of knowing I was full.....feeling the tension.  Well it just dawned on me...stop eating when you're satisfied - when the hunger is gone!  Well that resulted in me eating something every 2 hrs sometimes.  Ding-dong - that's what it is supposed to be.  Eating small meals every 2-3 hours.  I do think that doing this will result in me adding a protein shake back into my meal plan.

The lessons we learn along this journey! 

Where to start, where to start???  Oh, how about that I've lost 88lbs since starting my process in spring of 2008!  Howabout the fact that I am now comfortably in a size 24 pants from 4x/5x/34-36!  Some of my 34 pants didn't fit b/c of the cut so I've got pants that I never got to wear! I'm not complaining!  Not only can other people tell the difference but I can finally tell the difference when I see myself in pictures!

Now I've worn long-line bras for years and had finally decided to let the go b/c there was only so much they could do.  Well, I'm back in them because of all the extra rolls created by the weight loss.  I put one on today (had to by a smaller size of course) and then put my sweater on....LOOK OUT!!!!! I was looking GOOD!!!!

Now if I could just get in all my water and vitamins and protein, I'm sure I'd be looking and feeling good!

Hang in there everybody!  While some have made it, others are on our way!
TJ

Hey everyone!

Thought I update my progress.  I don't want to be one of those who falls completely off the blogging wagon on this site, but I think I know what happens.  This site is very carthartic for you when you begining or in the middle of the process.  It's a place to put your fears, frustrations, and celebrations.  When you're post-surgery and you've come through recovery, you put your "crutch" aside and don't need that aid anymore.  It's not an abandoning, although it seems like it is, it's just a moving on in the new phase of your life.  Trust, I still come here to read and post periodically but not so much journaling.    Now that I have that little confession :)

I am now in my 4th month out (surgery was 10/27/08).  It wasn't until January that I finally began to feel like myself!!!  That was a rough 3 months, emotionally - trying to establish this new relationship with food -  I didn't see it as my best friend anymore, I didn't even want it but knew that I had to have it to sustain life....That was totally different than the past.  Before it was eat, just to eat.  It was strange not to get hungry!  Even now, I only experience hunger if 5-6 hours have passed since I last ate my 4-6oz of food!  imagine that 4-6 oz of food at a meal and it still takes about 6 hours before I get the "I'd better eat or I'm gonna pass out" feeling.  More often than not, I know it's time to eat because I start to feel bad, not because I feel hungry.  When I eat on a time table, then I tend to eat less at the next meal, because I'm truly not hungry and still feel full from the previous meal. 

Like so many post-ops, I still struggle with getting in my fluids.  My hemoglobin was 4 at my first followup appt.....4!!!!  Not good, so I am on a boosted iron regime - 60mg chewable plus 2 Women's one-a-day.  I am down 57 lbs since surgery, 87 since my start in this process!!!!!

Hey Gang!
310lbs today!!!!!
Monday 12/1 will be 5 weeks post surgery....drum roll for the totals....60lbs from my highest weight and 34lbs since surgery!!! Whoo-Hoo!!!
I can only speak for me and I will this has been the hardest 5 weeks of my life!!!!  I've had good days, bad days, good moments, bad moments.  Learning what I can eat and how much has been hard.  Not knowing if I'm eating enough is driving me crazy!!!!!  I know beyond any shadow of a doubt that my protein intake is not what is should be!  I can't eat enough and the protein drinks/powders are untolerable at this point.  I can NOT physically drink them!!!  Vitamins....please, I do good to get in 1 calcium and 1 multi.  Please don't follow my example I know what I need to do the difficulty is doing it.   I am drinking a little better now but I can't drink the sugar free products.  The taste changes that have occurred since surgery have made this process impossible at times. 
I will confess I've had a few times where I've thought that I made the biggest mistake of my life by having this surgery.  It seems that most people here have said they'd do it again in a New York minute.  If I had to do over, I don't know.  I probably would because without this tool, there is no way that I would be this close to 300lbs instead of 400 lbs.  I wish there was some other way that would provide the same type of results in the same timeframe without the radical intervention.  I don't mind the fact that the intervention had to be medical but the changes that I have experienced have been a little overwhelming at times.   Perhaps things will change, that remains to be seen.    Let's revisit the "would you do it again" question.   Looking at the physical success I'm having, yes I would.  Even with all the challenges that I've faced with not having a wide variety of food choices, I would do it again.....It wouldn't be in a new york minute, maybe in a Southern Hour! :)