Tanya B.

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It has been way to long since I have posted.  I lost a fair amount of weight and got comfortable.....but I am still here.  I have regained between 10-15 pounds and am committed to not gaining anymore.  With my weightloss I have picked up a few bad habits...but admitting to them is half the battle.  I look forward to rejoining this forum as it was tremendous support for me 4 years ago.  I love my DS and am committed to its success.  More to come.

WOW.....2 years post op.  I still can not believe how much I have changed in 2 short years.  It seems like only yesterday I was on that blasted liquid diet.  I am incredibly thankful to GOD first and foremost.  It is through him all things are possible.  I am not on this beautiful journey called life through my own power.  HE has shown me the way and through him anything is possible.

In 2 yrs I have lost 100 lbs and am maintaing beautifully.  I look at pictures of the "old" me and think wow...... was that really Tanya?  Look at how far I have come.  I like to read my old post from the last 2 yrs.  They were extremely personal and very uncharachteristic of me to write such personal thoughts and experiences for others to read.  But for my journey to be complete and full, I need to share.  Over the last 2 yrs I have had some good days and some bad days...but overall I must admit to feeling very blessed for each experience.  There were lessons I have needed to learn along the way.  There were experiences that I have needed to feel and go thru.  No, these lessons were not all easy, some were down right painful, but I am a stronger person as a result of this life.  I have no regrets.  My life is full and chaotic, and loving and blessed, and funny and at times tiring....but this is my life.  THANK YOU.

I want to say thank you to Brianna and Joshua, my loving children.  They have given me strength whenever I did not feel like I had enough.  They have provided wonderful comic relief along the way.  Mommy loves you.  Who else can make me laugh at myself?

I also want to say a special thank you to my parents and my brother.  Their constant love has been inspiring.  I hope that I am building as 1/2 as strong of a family as you have all shown me everyday of my existence.  I love you.

 

So, like most of us here, my life has been majorly transformed with my new body and new mindset about food.  I look and feel terrific.  My career is going well, my children are beautiful and healthy, my parents are supportive and nurturing.  So with all the wonderful things that are going on in my life, then why do I still feel a little incomplete?

I have had 2 failed relationships over the last year.  With the last one ending very unexpectantly recently.  I believe that I thought if I lost weight then guys would be more open to me, not just see me as a "fat chick" and that my options would not be limited to just the guys who are chubby chasers.  The problem is that my mind has not changed as quickly as my body has.  I still feel like a big girl.  I still see all the imperfections of my body.  I still feel lonely and vunerable at times.   I seem to gravitate toward relationships very quickly, which troubles me tremendously.  Why can I not be happy in my own skin?  Why can I not be happy with all of the blessings that God has bestowed upon me?  Why can I not love myself unconditionally all the time?  How can I expect to maintain a healthy and nurturing relationship with this set of new "issues" floating around in my head?  I learned to adapt and live my life as a "fat girl"  for all of my adult lie......but this reality is so different.  I dont know how to master this new life yet.  But God willing, I will one day.

WOW....what a difference a year makes!  I still can not believe how much my life has changed in 1 year.  Exactly 1 year ago today I began the rest of my life.  God blessed me with the ability to have a surgery that saved my life, both physically and mentally. 

My body, mind and spirit are so much healthier today.  I love my life.  I love being an active participant in my life as well......no longer sitting on the sidelines waiting for "something' to happen.  Now, I make my own way.  I live, laugh and love.  I am so blessed to be surrounded by people who love and cherish me.  I feel that I have so much to give and to teach others.  I want the world, and truly believe I will have it.

In the last 12 months I have transformed how I eat, how much I eat, how my body processes the food I do eat.  I have strengthened my bond with my children.  I have graduated college and now have a Master's degree in a field that I love.  I have been an inspiration to others to seek alternative methods in fighting a fight they have been fighting for a lifetime.  I have met the love of my life and am looking forward to seeing our relationship blossom.  My career is on fire and so is my sex life!!!!!!!  LOL!

No, seriously.  Thank you Dr. Bonanni for giving me a tool to change my life.  Thank you God for stearing me in the right direction to find Dr. B. and for healing my body and spirit.  Thank you Brianna and Joshua for being patient with mommy during this often bumpy road and for blessing me with the gift of motherhood.  Thank you Mom and Dad for believing in me and supporting me nonstop my entire life.  It is through you two that I have learned what unconditional love means.  Thank you Kevin (my brother) for being the best big brother a girl can ask for.  Thank you Paul (my other brother) even though you are no longer physically with us in this world, I have felt your presence and love everyday since you left.  And thank you Kevin (my love) for helping to restore my faith and love for myself.  You have taught me many valuable lessons in our short time together.  You are a lesson in love for me.  Thank you baby.

Hi everyone.  Long time since I have been able to post.  It is amazing how busy and active I have become since the surgery.  Sitting home alone on the computer is a thing from my past.  I am always out, always busy, always making plans.  My self confidence has been raised and I am feeling marvelous!  Life with my kids is so much fun now.  About 2 weeks ago I went to Dorney Park with their school for a trip.  I rode every roller coaster I could.  I also purchased a cute bathing suit and had NO problem walking around the water park in nothing but my size 12 bathing suit.  I looked and felt terrific.  I use to feel very self conscious (sp?) about wearing a bathing suit in public.  Not any more.  

I am also dating regularly now  The last relationship didnt work but I have had no problem moving on.  I am now seeing someone new and having the time of my life.  I am working so hard to learn and maintain a positive self image and to put out nothing but positive energy into the universe.  I pray that we all will receive many blessings in return.  

Happy trails everyone.

Luv ya.

Hello OH community,

I hope everyone is doing as fabulous as I feel these days.  It's been 7 months on this wonderful journey towards the new and improved Tanya.  I am not losing as many pounds these days, but I am very happy with my progress.  I weigh in around 175 lbs, wearing sizes 12's and 14's.  I have finally purged my closet of all my old clothes.  Nothing looked good on me any more.  I have only been slowly buying new clothes since I was losing so quickly.  Now I am desparately in need of a new wardrobe.  The funny thing is the clothes I do buy my 12 y.o. daughter keeps taking them.  We argue all the time about her in my clothes and me trying on her's.  These are some truly interesting days in the Bing household!  MNy poor 10 y.o. son just looks at us and shakes his head as he walks away.

I went for my 6 month appt. last month and was told that my potassium is slightly low.  I don't have to take supplements yet, but I am trying to increase my intake of some potassium rich foods.  Also my B-12 was low.  So I have added that to my vitamin intake these days.  All in all I am doing pretty damn well.

I want to take more pics and upload...will try and do that soon.  So happy trails to everyone........Catch u later!


 

Ok, so my 5 month update is late....sue me!  LOL!  WOW, life has been incredibly busy.  I have lost 80 pounds total.  I went from wearing a size 24 to now I am in a size 12.....can you freakin' believe that!  I went shopping 2 weeks ago, just trying on clothes.  I can now shop in the regular size clothes and this feels so wierd.  I never imagined that I could buy non-plus size clothes, but I do.  Now the insecure side of me wonders if the sales people in the store are wondering why am I not shopping in the back of the store where the plus size clothes are, but that's just the insanity in my head talking again.  The best part of my transition has been how I feel about myself, my increased energy level, my increased sex drive (yeah baby!) and my desire to just enjoy life.  I now have a boyfriend.....first one since my divorce.  Joe and I have been dating for 4 months now.  He is terribly supportive, loving and fun to hang around with.  I feel incredibly blessed.  Joe is now looking into having the DS surgery done with Dr. Bonanni.  He has his first consultation with Nurse Paula on Monday.  I wish you tons of luck baby!  Enjoy the ride!

I eat pretty much whatever I want.  I get full very easily, but definitely eat normal portion sizes.  I still have occasional issues with carbs (gas).  I have also a low tolerance for alcohol.  I am a cheap drunk these days.

I am looking at making plans for summer vacation with my family right now.  I am majorly looking forward to this.  I have always wanted to go horseback riding and plan on doing this very soon.  I have always been to fat to get on a horse, but not anymore.  Time to start conquering my "To Do Lists" now that the weight is just falling off.

Still having issues with taking my vitamins.  I am just one stubborn girl.  I have my 6 month doctor appt on the 21st of March.  My labs should be interesting.  Will post more after my appt.

As for goals, I still want to lose another 40-60 pounds.    From there it's just exercising, toning, strength training.  I am a force to be reckoned with these days!  

MY DS ROCKS! 

What a terrific 3 months it has been.  So many ups and downs.  I have went from an all time high of 265 to 201 today....I am so close to one-derland that I can taste it.   My clothes size went from a 24 to a size 16 (and some 14 size jeans).  To say that I am happy is an understatement.  I go see my surgeon on THursday for my 3 month appt.  I dont expect any big ah-ha moments, but I am a little anxious about what my labs will show.  

The physical changes to my body have been truly surprising.  My skin has made the biggest change.  My face is clearer than it has been in years,  I went through some major skin rashes and itchy-ness immediately post op for at least 6 weeks.  My skin had dry patches all over the lower half of my body, but even that is gone now.  Another change as of recent is my skin color is a shade lighter then it once was.  I plan on asking the doc on Thursday about that one.  Don't believe there are any problems but just want to know.  

My hair is definitely going through the shedding process.  Much thinner in some areas, and some mild breakage.  Not worrying about it though cause it's just temporary.  

The biggest challenge today is getting in vitamins, but I am trying much harder with that today as well.  

Will post more after Thursday.

Later.......

So it's just a little over 2 months since my big day.  I am down a whooping 55 pounds and feel so awsome.  Energy level is terrific and the body is definitely showing the 55 pound lost.  People at work stop me almost every day.  I am always hearing how great I look and friends keep referring to me as "Hey Skinny".  Now I know better then to let this all go to my head.  I did not have this surgery for the approval of others, but I would be lying if I didnt say it was nice.  The wierdest part is the attention I get from guys now.  I am still very much overweight and still need to lose another 85 pounds before I would consider myself "done" with the weight loss.  But people must be picking up my vibes cause the attention is almost comical.  

Now for the "other" stuff.  The gas is better, I do have more frequest bowel movements, but not too bad.  I can definitely tell when I have eaten ehough and need to stop cause it's pretty ugly if I even try to eat more than I should.  

The vitamins.....I honestly truly struggle with getting my vitamins in.  Somedays I forget them at home, or I take the morning pills and forget the evening pills.  It would help considerably if I could take the pills all in one shot..  I plan on asking the dietitian about this next month.  But somehow I know the answer will be NO.  I hate taking them....that is what it comes down to for me.  I know that this is just a stubborness on my side, but I don't like it.  I do know that the vitamins will save my life, so I need to just get over it...... and I am sure I will.  Especially since I have written this for the world to see..... have no choice now.

Later,
TB

Wow!  I can not believe that I am already 5 weeks post op.  That time has flown by.  I am already down 40 lbs!  I feel wonderful.  I went back to work this week and even that has been pretty good.  I missed all of my co-workers and employees and am very happy to be back.  So far I have had only 1 negative response from an employee.  She looks at me soooo wierd right now and really doesnt say 2 words to me, even when I speak first.  Today she was standing with another employee and she immediately began to bust out laughing after I joined the two of them.  She wouldn't say why and I definitely felt that she was doing this TO ME.  I know that we can not control the actions of others so I will just forget it.  But after so many years of self esteem issues it really doesnt take much for me to feel like an odd ball around others.  

Besides that I am doing pretty well.  I have advanced my diet quicker then what the surgeon and nutritionalist have prescribed.  I am pretty much eating most textures right now and only carbohydrates dont agree with me.  They give me gas.   So I try and stay away from them.  I dont eat much food as far as quantity.  I do eat protein first since that is most important.  I dont care for any of the protein suplements I have tried so far so I am attempting to get the protein in naturally.  Overall I feel like I have been successful.  Sometimes I eat and expect to see a weight gain, but I am consistently loosing weight.  I am also doing fairly well with getting my vitamins in.  Not 100% but doing pretty well.  Hopefully my labs will reflect ths at my next appt.  

MY DS ROCKS!