tonigirlv
o, my story, where to start..i'm going to mind dump and i'll clean it up later...here it goes..I have been fighting this demon since I'm 8 years old. Been on every diet imaginable as most. The only time I was able to maintain my weight was when I had no kids, lived with parents, no responsiblities and lived in the gym and ate nothing. I was a certified trainer and kickbox instructor..... I couldn't maintain that....at that 154lbs at 5'8"......i met my husband to be (now my ex), and gained 15 lbs, quit smoking...another 20lbs....stop exercising like a dog.....another 15lbs....inbetween all of this, diet after diet..exercise up and down..got married, pregnant, another 60lbs....at this time, marraige started to fail, since I didn't look like I did when we met.....second child in 2001, weight watchers lost 30.....husband rolled out on me 15 monts after daughter born......hovered at 230..inbetween divorce, I had a tummy tuck since my stomach was so blown out....went on liquid diet lost 30lbs in 2 months.....at least got back some self confidence and got back out dating.....but still had 50lbs on me....still self concious about myself and had a breast augment with some liposuction to trim down my lower back and hips....what a difference!! ...but still had excess weight...... Then doc says cholestorol is very high wants to start me on meds since I couldn't loose weight......last year met a wonderful man and got engaged over this past summer...gained 25lbs...(comfort lbs i like to say) then came..lower back problems and worst of all...I am now 5'6" doc said from weight pushing on my spine....that freaked me out....In august of 2008 i was at my wits end and made an appointment with my bariatric doc....I had an Oct. 29 appointment. I was to be married Oct 26..... With being 5'6 and 225lbs, just put me at 36.6 bmi....doc told me i would have to maintain the weight and couldn't go below 217 or my bmi would be too low.....OMG, WHAT??? We were to be married October, and 2 weeks before, my fiance wants to postpone the wedding (he pushed me so soon his idea, but hey, why not we're in love).....WHAT??? We were so happy???!! ok, knew it was trouble and that's another story....my fiance was not supportive of my decision and was very insecure about me losing weight ...like I said another story..I went through all of the required tests, scared and alone..funny, at the bypass seminar...i see my plastic surgeon who just had rny done in October, this was january...talking with her made me secure in my decision..she said after the surgeries i had, this would be a piece of cake and it's the best thing she's done.she also told me the work she did would be fine!!! ...my insurance requires the 7 month weight management which takes me out to April...Anyway, right after new years, we break off the engagement and go our separated ways...but that is still lingering even though it's OVER....i was very upset as with any end to relationship....i had no appetite, BUT i had to watch my weight.....i never thought i'd have that problem....well, here it is I went to my March appointment and have maintained my weight...even gained! I was scheduled a date!!! May 13.......i keep hearing from everyone that i don't need this done i can do it on my own,and yes, i have done it many times over....it's been a lifelong fight....and I know what and how to do it.. but they just don';t understand what i've lived with my entire life...."the demon"....I may not look like what I weigh, but what do they know..my health is deteriorating.....i am very scared since i am a single mom and have no one else to depend on, but i'm doing this for my health and happiness....and my kids.....
