Toots45

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

Here I am ... 11 months post op.  Down almost 100lbs.  Its coming off very very slowing which I try not to let it get to me.  But it is really a challenge to stay positive when I see how many have lost well over 100 lbs at this point.  I am doing well with most foods.  Real challenge with pasta's if I try to eat too much and also if I try to eat more than a half of a sandwich.  I find that if I nibble throughout the day on raw veg's and homemade jerky I do pretty well.  Yes, I do indulge in a little sweets, but its 1 or 2 bites and I am good to go for another week.  I think part of my slow weight loss is being on high doses of anti-depressant medications.  I think I am going to consider a taper of those and see if that helps.  I still have days were I am tired as heck ... then I have days that I have more energy then I think I can handle.  I am doing great with my water intact daily ... thank God for Crystal Light.  Well, I will update again at 1 year anniversary date ... Nov 16th!

I am 3 months post op as of Valentine's Day.  Down officially 45 lbs also.  Its coming off much slower than I had hoped it would.  Then being laid off 1 month after surgery doesn't help.  I am challenged with finding a job, and really fighting off not being more depressed.  I am sure these current stressors, delay higher weight loss. My dream was to be down 75lbs by March 23rd, but I think I will have to settle for 60lbs.
Somedays, I get out and walk or go ride the bike in the weight room here at the apts, other times, I am so tired ... I end up taking a 2 hour nap in the afternoon.  
I need don't have a structured eating plan, and to be honest, I am not hungry most days.  Dr. Higa doesn't believe in protein drinks so I have avoided those.  However, I think hitting these plateau's like I do, I am going to need to try to increase my protein that way.  Even if I just drink 1 drink a day, it will be better than the lack of at this point. 
I do feel good about my progress, and I can't wait for another 25lbs to come off!  People at church each week have noticed the weight loss.  Its great encouragement. 

I am so glad that this New Year is here!  I feel good about it, knowing not only is it a New Year, but a New Me, with a New Outlook on life.  I no longer live to eat, but eat to live.  Food is not my obsession. I have found that I am selective on what I eat now. And I even think about why I am grabbing to eat something, if I realize its not due to being hungry.  
I still have a few challenges with food getting stuck in my throat.  Even if I chew, chew, chew.  Some things just stay there for a while. 
It was great to see my parents for the first time since surgery, at Christmas. Not to mention, I reached my "1st" goal of 30 lbs by Christmas!!!!  My mother could not believe how "little" I ate, and kept insisiting that I needed to eat more.  However, my dad has been reading the paperwork I send to him from the surgeon's office, and he knew I was eating accordingly.  Sweets are still able to go down, but only with one or two bites and that is all. 
With the New Year, comes a New Job also.  So many great blessings from God ....   Next goal is a total of 75 lbs by March 24th, my daughters 2nd birthday!  What a difference that picture will be from last year!
Happy New Year ....

Today was my 1st post op appt.  I was a little discouraged because I only lost 8 pounds.  However, Dr. Higa was great and explained that due to having to have MAJOR reconstructive hernia repair that this was ok ... as the body is still in "recovery" mode for that.  I guess it was a pretty big mess inside of me. (I had gone thru hernia surgery 1 yr ago, and wonder what that Dr. did?)  
I graduate to week 2 of foods.  Glad to be off just liquids!!!  Had my first 1/2 cup of Taco Bell refried beans!!!!  Gosh they tasted so good.  Looking forward to tomorrow (Thanksgiving) as I get to have mashed potatoe's, applesauce and a little bit of yams!  I am going to a friends for dinner, and she said she would freezer seal some turkey meat for me to enjoy next week!!!  Dr. Higa doesn't seem to be concerned with protein intake at this point, so I will just go with the flow ... Actually I am rather hungry for an egg, tho!
Its not as bad as I thought it was going to be, the gastric bypass part of it ....

WOW, what a ride.  I arrived to the hospital (Clovis Community Hospital) at 6:45am and by 8:10am, Dr. Higa was ready for me!!!
He was very kind, understanding and informative to my father after doing surgery.  He was able to the gastric bypass, lapo ... which is great!  Not to mention, he found a huge mess going on inside of me due to yet another hernia (or maybe that the previous hernia repair was done incorrectly???)   Anyway, he stated everything is all straightened out inside now.  Of course, this means a little more pain for me during recovery ... UGHHHH OK so a lot of pain.  I did get up and do my walking several times while in the hospital.  At one point, the day after my surgery I felt strange, and it was because my blood pressure dropped rather low (96/45) and my temp spiked up to 100.5.  So of course, they kept checking on me for the next zillion hours it seemed. 
I was discharged by 12 noon on the 2nd day after surgery.  The only thing I wish I had had was an angel from this group ... because I have lots of questions and wonder if what I am feeling is normal? 
Anyway, today I am extra tired, but seem to be pushing myself  ... to what I don't know.  Its 8pm, on the 3rd day after surgery and I am already thinking of heading for bed.  Not that I can find a comfortable position to sleep yet, but I am going to take something to help me sleep this evening.  I hope to wake up tomorrow feeling 50% better then I did today. 
I know its a process ... its just a process that I wish I had more answers to ....

Thanks for the encouragement .... but I am still nervous!  I have about 6 loads of laundry and some cleaning to do, and I can't bring myself to do any of it yet.  I think I am putting it all off until tonight, so that when I can't sleep, I will actually have things to do ... I have had a few surgeries in my life, but none have made me as nervous as this one .... UGH ... I wish it was next Sunday already. 
I think the biggest part of my nerves is being in the hospital in a town I don't know anyone ... and so far away, that none of my friends will even be able to come by and visit me.  My Dad will be there the day of my surgery, but he will be leaving after I am settled into a room.  I can't explain the emotion I am feeling, but, all I can hope for is that the 48 hours will fly by.  
I am stocked on up bottled water, gatorade, a few soups, yougart and sf popsicles ... so that takes alot of stress off, when I get back home. 
Anyway, just felt the need to post some thoughts .... someday, I will surely sit back and wonder what I was so worried about, I am sure.
Be Blessed ~

This forum is AWESOME !!!!!!
I have received such support from people I don't even know ... and it has been such a blessing.  I am truly excited about the upcoming surgery, however I am nervous also.  Its drastic ... life changing ... and lots of emotions to learn to deal with afterwards.  Today, I actually had a "friend" that I have confided in about my emotional nervousness tell me that I am over-reacting ... It really hurt me.  She said "this isn't like your having open heart surgery" .... "You shouldn't be nervous or feel stressed at all" ... "You should be happy, because this is the easy way out" .... TALK ABOUT FEELING DEJECTED .... I guess she doesn't get it.  This is drastic, and there are emotions that come with this decision ... and NO I am not taking the easy way out.  I had to try to lose weight other ways, before my doctor actually suggested this option ... UGH..... How can people be so insenstive to people that battle with weight problems and the choices we have to make in order to get our health under control?   I thank so many of you for the encouraging support .... because I know that I am not going to be in this alone .... THANK GOD!

Its not like I am counting the days or anything .... I am starting to get hella nervous.  Found myself grabbing for snacks today, because I am so nervous.  UGH, I need to stop that, because I know that once I have the surgery ... thats it ... no more turning back.  
I wonder if I will have any more "chocolate cravings?"  Someone told me that after the surgery, there are no more sweet cravings?????  And everyone knows I love chocolate right now. 
When does the brain shut off at this point? 

Well, I guess you can say I am really feeling anxious.  What if's are kicking in today.  Not to mention the need to want to eat things I think I will never get to eat again!  Is that crazy or what????  Mexican, Pizza ... and a little italian before I go!

On the other hand, I am finally looking at clothes differently and getting excited that at this time next year, I will be able to purchase some of those "cute" fall/winter things!  Not to mention, I won't have to tell my mom not to try to buy me clothes anymore, because I am ashamed to tell her what size I wear .... 

I wonder how I am going to feel in a week ... if I am this nervous already.  I haven't told but maybe 5 people at work that I am having this surgery and I wonder ... being out 3-4 weeks what I will look like when I go back to work.  Will anyone even notice a difference?   UGHHHHHH

Getting nervous now.  Its 2 weeks and 3 days before surgery.  I have over the last few weeks been fully aware every time I am eating something .... and many times I have stopped the eating and asked myself, What emotion am I feeling while eating this?  Why am I eating this?  How will I handle this emotion after I have surgery?  Then of course, I ask myself, am I making the right decision to have this surgery?  

I know that I need to get my health under control.  Its time for a new life and feeling free to do all that I have never been able to do.  I am tired of being held capative by my weight.